Reincarnation
by Bugsbunnyaloha
Summary: Def:'The rebirth of the soul in a new body'. Steve takes on the hardest fight yet after he is gunned down, battling against the life he's been cast into and struggling to retain the one he once knew. The war proves to be too much; until a hand reaches out in what was once darkness and chaos and gives him the means to push on, proving that you don't have to die to be reincarnated.
1. Chapter 1

**_Happy New Year everyone! I hope you enjoy this new story. Some may not. It takes Steve out of his element and one that I have found challenging to write, but I've also found it motivating. As always, thanks for reading!_**

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 **Chapter 1**

The commotion around him was chaotic; yet the view above him was calm as he stared up at a group of clouds that floated by, feeling as weightless as they looked.

There was strangely no pain or no fear of death as he had always assumed there would be. There was peacefulness along with an unusual stillness throughout his body. He couldn't move, but he didn't try to either.

His partner leaned over him, blocking his view of another cluster of clouds as they drifted by.

Danny's expression however was not calm, cool or collected. It was strained, worried and highly concerned.

"Steve," he said to him in a commanding voice, "look at me?!"

Steve blinked and casually looked at his partner hovering above him.

"There you go," he smiled. It was the only thing he could do at the moment to keep his friend calm in the terrifying situation. "Help is coming. I can hear it; just hold on, Steve. Hold on Buddy." He looked over in the direction of the sound of sirens that indicated the help he had described, willing them to move their asses.

"Danny," Steve whispered, his voice soft and not reflecting the dire condition he was in. The blood on the ground seeping from his body began to form a red river that flowed toward his feet.

Danny looked back down at him, gripping tighter to his hand and pressing the towel against his back over the most dire of the two wounds; he tried to smile but his eyes showed the fear that was engulfing him. "What, Steve?"

"The woman," he said between gasping breaths, "he took a woman hostage."

Danny shook his head, "No he didn't. He tried, but I got him. I laid him out with one shot. The woman's fine," he reassured him, not surprised that he'd ask that question as he laid there with two bullets in his back, draining the life out of him.

He felt relieved over that, looking back up at the sky that for some reason held a calming effect, reminding him of being out on his surfboard and just laying back and waiting for the next group of waves to come, hoping to catch one all the way back to shore. He'd only been able to do it once, closing his eyes as the feel of the ocean rocking him began to put him to sleep.

His face was growing paler by the second as the look of death became more evident.

"Steve!" Danny's voice shouted as the grip tightened. "Steve! Open your eyes!" He put a hand on his shoulder and gently shook him. "Goddamnit, wake up!" his voice choked, refusing the first impulsive move to check the pulse on his neck. "Steve!" he shouted again.

He heard the call and opened his eyes back up, seeing Danny smile through panicked eyes, never seeing so much fear on his partner before.

"Ok," Danny said, bowing his head, thanking whatever God was listening for that small achievement.

"I'm sorry, Danny," he said to him for causing so much stress.

"Sorry for what?" he argued, sitting down on the ground next to him. The Paramedics had arrived and were quickly unloading their equipment as fellow officers hurried them along, pointing in the direction of their fallen comrade. "You saved that guy's life whose now standing over by the Police car puking his guts out over the fact that he should be in a body bag." He squeezed his hand that he held in a bro style, "I should kick your butt for what you did, but I think two slugs is punishment enough."

Steve vaguely heard what he said, feeling himself falling under the spell of sleep once again, closing his eyes. There was peace all around him, not paying attention anymore to Danny's demanding pleas to open his eyes. He just wanted to sleep…so he did.

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There was a slight chill in the room as he opened his eyes, looking up toward the sky, expecting to see the clouds once again, but instead it was white tile paneling's with recessed lighting that was dimmed down to a comfortable level, barely giving the room enough light to move about freely in the darkness.

He went to turn his head and felt a resistance, looking down the bridge of his nose at the tube coming from his mouth. He went to lift his right hand and felt the same struggle from the IV that came out of the back of his wrist, following the path of the tube with his eyes that ran up a steel pole and into a bag. He tried to move his left hand, but felt nothing, assured it was also restrained, the same as his legs that felt numb, attributing it to the drugs he was sure that were coursing throughout his body from the ordeal.

He tried to recall being moved from the ground after being shot, but had no recollection of it, wondering how long he'd been where he was. He was alive, that was all he knew and that was all he needed to know at the moment. He was in the hospital and he was alive.

There was a whirring sound that came from over his head he as looked up to where the sound came from, but within seconds he felt a calmness overcome him that was euphoric, sending him once again into a peaceful rest.

Danny came in through the door seconds later, holding a cup of coffee in one hand and bagel between his teeth, carefully and as quietly as he could closing the door with his other hand.

He looked at the sleeping body lying in the bed that hadn't stirred in two days since the operation, but he was told adamantly that it was normal. The body needed time to heal and all the extra energy was focused on strengthening the core of the injury and with all the medication that was being injected to fight off an infection, they would be surprised if he woke up within the first three days.

Danny sat down in the chair by the bed that had practically formed to his backside from being occupied for so long. He took a bite of the bagel before taking it out of his mouth, washing it down with a drink of the coffee that had cooled from the trip up from the 2nd floor cafeteria. He had been thankful for the twenty four hour establishment, even though late night hours only consisted of pastries, coffee and some packaged salads and sandwiches, it had helped fight off the boredom over the long, boring nights.

He heard his phone buzz on the table next to him, alerting him of an incoming text, switching places with it and the cup of coffee.

" _Hey, just checking in. Any movement?"_ Chin texted.

Danny put the bagel between his teeth again, not yet mastering the one handed texting technique.

 _"He's sleeping like a baby. What are you doing up so late?"_ he replied, taking another bite and setting the phone on his thigh and then reached for the coffee. He could see in the display that he was writing back, waiting patiently for the response.

It came just seconds later. _"Same as you."_

Danny huffed and then smiled, mumbling to himself, "I'm sitting up in a chair, eating a stale bagel and lukewarm coffee, take advantage of your bed." He set the items in his hands back down and replied almost that very same sentence.

He glanced up at Steve while waiting for the reply that didn't seem to be coming according to the phone display, wondering if maybe Chin had taken his advice.

The door to the room opened and he looked over his shoulder as Chin came in.

They both grinned at each other over the joke, "Ok, now I get it, you are the same as me."

He closed the door quietly, "I couldn't sleep," he explained, coming up beside the chair. "I haven't really slept in two days. I decided the best place for me was here, same as you."

"There's another chair by the window," he pointed, "pull it over and have a seat."

He did just that, commenting on the food in Danny's hands. "Where did you get that?"

"2nd floor," he said with a mouthful. "Not bad. A little stale but edible."

"Hmm," Chin moaned, sitting down and debating whether or not he'd make the trek or not to the 2nd floor. He looked at Steve and his focus immediately changed gears. He stood back up and went to the bed, looking down on his friend and Boss. "His color looks better."

Danny nodded in agreement, "Look at his hands too, their not so swollen anymore. That's a good sign the nurse said."

"Maybe the paralysis won't be as bad as they think."

Danny drank the last of his coffee and stood up, moving next to him. "They only speculate and won't give an answer until he wakes up and they can examine him, but I have a bad feeling they already know the diagnose but are just hanging on for hope."

"I can't even imagine what it's going to do to him," Chin said grimly, not even being able to comprehend if it was he lying there and being told his legs and left arm were paralyzed.

Danny reached through the bars and put a gentle hand on Steve's arm that had the IV going into it. "Time. Work. That's what's he's going to need. Time to heal, and working through it."

"And support," Chin added.

"And tremendous support," Danny agreed, "but he's got that. More than he'll possibly need."

Chin nodded his agreement this time. "I just don't know if I can be here when they tell him."

Danny looked over at the uneasy expression on his face, knowing he felt bad for that, but couldn't blame him for not wanting to be there. "I know. You don't have to be," he said, letting him off the hook and any guilt he might be feeling from it. "I'll be here."

Chin didn't have to be told to know that Danny would be there when the time came. It was as assured as him being by his side since the tragic ordeal had begun. They would all give their support, but they all knew too that it would be Danny's that Steve would rely on and need the most. And they were all equally confident that he would succeed in supplying it, no matter the cost to himself.

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Danny's head bobbed and then fell forward, causing him to startle and almost fall out of the chair he was in. His arms quickly came out of the crossed position and gripped the sides of the chair, steadying himself. He chuckled slightly and shifted his position, glancing at his watch.

He stretched his arms over his head and decided this was a good time to head home for a quick shower and nap, wanting to be back before the doctor made his rounds.

He stood and noticed the pair of sleepy eyes watching him from the bed.

"Steve!" he said happily but with a cautious tone, keeping the level of his voice down. "Hey Buddy." He reached through the bars touching his bare arm. The eyes that followed him were glazed over and heavy as he slowly blinked. Danny wasn't sure if it was a sign of slowly waking, or of falling back into a peaceful slumber.

"Hold on, ok? I'll get the nurse." He fumbled with the call box that dangled from the side of the bed, pushing buttons until he heard a voice through the small intercom.

"Is everything alright, Mr. Williams?"

"Yes! He's awake. Can someone please come in here?"

As he replaced the call monitor back into its slot on the bed, he almost regretted his impulsive decision, what if this was it? What if this was the precise time that they would find out the diagnose that was on everyone's mind. He looked back down at Steve, hoping he'd gone back to sleep but he hadn't. He lied still with the breathing tube still attached, watching him intently as if wanting to ask multiple questions but couldn't.

Danny leaned back over so their line of sight was easier for Steve to achieve.

"You're in the hospital," he said to him, assuming the quizzical expression was from confusion of where he was and how he had got there. "I don't know what you remember, but you were shot in the back, twice. We almost lost you, but you're alive and are here to drive me crazy for another day," he joked, smiling at him, seeing a slight edge to the corner of Steve's mouth curl over that remark, which in turn made Danny smile even wider.

The moment was interrupted as a nurse entered the room. She ignored Danny as he stepped away from the bed, her attention focused on Steve. She made eye contact with him as she moved in to where Danny had been standing.

"Hi Steve," she smiled, touching his hand, "my name is Cheryl. Are you in any immediate pain?" she asked him.

He shook his head slightly, indicating he felt ok.

"That's good," she smiled. "I notified the surgeon on duty that you were awake and he's on his way down. We're going to hopefully get that annoying tube out of your mouth so you can talk. Don't be alarmed if your voice is raspy for a couple of days, that's normal. I want you to just lie still and don't try to move around ok?"

His eyes narrowed, wanting to inform her that he couldn't move, that's what had him concerned. He couldn't feel his left hand nor could her feel his legs. He wanted someone to tell him it was temporary and just a normal paralysis from the operation, maybe swelling on his nerves perhaps he thought anxiously.

He closed his eyes again, trying with all his might to wiggle his toes or fingers, but it felt as though the signal that was so clearly ordering the feat in his mind was severed someplace between his spinal cord and the actual nerve endings.

He opened his eyes again and looked at Danny stressing his concern. He reached out with his right hand over to his left, to show him, but the nurse took a hold of it, setting it back down in its original place.

"You mustn't move, Steve. You have an IV in your hand. We don't want to tear it."

He gave up on her and made eye contact with Danny again, using his eyes to guide him to his legs, looking that way and then back at him, repeating it, all the while the distress in his expression told of his concern.

Danny didn't need a verbal explanation to understand what he was saying, or asking perhaps. He reached through the bars and lay a firm hand on Steve's arm, "Just relax. You might feel different right now," he said, not wanting to sugar coat it, nor stress him out anymore than he already looked, "but it's going to be ok." He tapped his arm assuring him once again.

He had tried to keep a positive attitude in hopes that odds would turn out in Steve's favor, but those odds were beginning to slip in a direction that would not only be devastating to himself, but he was pretty certain it would tear Steve apart in ways that he couldn't even imagine. The first sign of that threat was visible on his friend's face as the diagnose they had all be fearing was beginning to come to light, and it wasn't good, but he couldn't bring himself to focus on the negativity but only assure him that no matter the outcome that everything was going to be ok. He'd survived the shooting, and in time, he'd survive this too.

The door opened and a dark haired man with a slight five o'clock shadow and a deep Hawaiian tan entered. He had a stethoscope in his right hand and a computer tablet in the other. He looked to be no older than Steve or Danny.

"Mr. McGarrett," he said, coming up to the bed and looking down at Steve, "welcome back to the real world. I hope your medicated vacation was a pleasant one," he smiled. "I'm Dr. Kidder, but you can call me Matt, just don't call me fat Matt, or claim that I sat on a rat, like the kids in school used to do," he joked. "I hated that."

Steve let out grunt over the highly unanticipated silliness, immediately feeling at ease with him. The joking doctor and Danny's statement eased him down from the anxiety that had begun to engulf him.

Matt pulled up his tablet and typed in Steve's room number, which brought up his chart. He bobbed his head back and forth in a casual way as he became reacquainted with his injury.

"Ok," he said, setting the tablet on the table by his bed. "Let's get a look at that breathing tube and maybe free you up."

Danny stood back out of the way as he examined Steve's lungs and after a few minutes decided it could be removed. The nurse stood on the other side assisting, as they pulled out the long hose in one quick motion.

She held a glass of water, putting the straw up to his lips as he took a couple of sips, wincing as it hit his dry throat.

"Better?" Dr. Kidder asked with an easy grin.

Steve nodded, "Better," he whispered and then coughed, his voice raspy and weak just as the nurse had described. He laid his head back on the pillow, letting the pain in back subside, looking up at the doctor. "My legs," he said almost breathless, "my arm," he motioned with his head and eyes to his left hand. "I can't feel them." He looked back up at him, waiting for the medical reasoning for what he hoped was just a temporary paralysis.

Danny swallowed hard, looking from Steve to the Doctor anticipating the answer as well, every muscle in his body taught with the hopeful explanation.

Matt reached over Steve's bed and pushed a button that lowered it down. Once at the level he preferred, he pulled up the chair that Danny had been occupying for days and sat down, eye level with Steve. All playfulness disappeared from his expression, replaced with a seriousness that filled the air with the magnitude of the conversation they were about to have.

Steve couldn't feel his legs or arm, but he felt every other nerve ending in his body tighten as the air left his body, taking in a deep breath trying to fight off the anxiety that he was sure now was true to his belief. His right hand folded into a tight fist, bracing himself for the news that was going to change his life forever, but also in that split second of the unknown he swore to himself that he wouldn't let it break him either.

Danny moved to the other side of the bed feeling every bit of the anxiety that Steve was. It wasn't physically happening to him, but emotionally it was just as nerve racking.

He could see the strength that was always so apparent on his partner, but underneath the firm jaw line that was taught and clenched at the moment, he could also see the hint of fear in his eyes that he was desperately trying to hide. He could almost see him building up that wall of resilience that had become his norm. It didn't matter, he thought knowingly, good news or bad news, Steve wouldn't flinch; he'd bet his life on it.

Matt leaned over with his elbows resting on his knees, cursing Dr. Aldridge's son for breaking his leg the night before at the high school football game, therefore his father unable to make rounds, which put him in the very spot he was, having to deliver the bad news to his patient that not only was he paralyzed but that another surgery was imminent due to the remaining bullet that was lodged between the T11 and T12 vertebrae. The only saving grace was that there was a chance of recovery, no matter how slight; there was still a chance.

"Steve," he began, looking him dead on, "first off let me say the surgery was a success in the fact that you are alive and breathing on your own, which is a huge success." He always thought it best to start off on a positive note before delivering the bad news. "However, one of the bullets is still lodged in your spinal cord which is causing the paralysis to your arm and legs."

"So when are you going to take it out?" he asked, feeling a sense of relief, accepting the idea that he'd need another operation, but it would also mean complete recovery, or so he thought.

Matt shook his head, "Its not that easy. We're not sure we can take it out."

Steve felt his relaxed body tense up again, "Why? Why not?"

"It's positioned in an area that could do more damage that it already has. If we try and go in and remove it, the repair could cause a spinal injury that could leave you paralyzed from the neck down, as of right now you have full use of your right hand and the center core of your body, we don't want to risk losing that as well?"

"So…" Steve began, feeling lightheaded, "so this is it?" his breathing began to escalate, "this is as good as it's going to get?" In his peripheral vision, he saw Danny move closer to his side.

"That's not necessarily true," Dr. Kidder quickly replied. "We'll begin physical therapy as soon as you are able. Keeping up your health and strength are vital in these situations to keep the spinal cord from deteriorating anymore. You have a foreign object embedded in your spine that does not belong there. Your body will fight to remove it if it has the strength to do so, or…" he said with a slice of warning in his voice, "your spine will weaken because it doesn't have the ability to fight off an infection because of the lack of agility. In other words, if you don't keep yourself strong and healthy then yes, this is as good as it gets, and maybe worse."

"So hold on," Danny blurted out, putting his hands up as if trying to get everything he just said into perspective. "So its not permanent? That's what you're saying, right?"

Matt looked back down at Steve as he answered Danny's question. "I don't believe in never or permanent in cases such as yours. I do however believe in the power of one person's will to overcome their crisis." He narrowed his eyes, stressing his next words to Steve. "I've seen you on the news. I've read over your medical records and know of your history both for the Honolulu Police Department and in the military. I don't see you as the type of man who just lies down and takes it. I see you as a fighter, Steve. You need to channel that warrior, if you will, inside of you and fight for your life. I'm not promising you a miracle, but through hard work and the will to overcome, I've seen miraculous things happen to ordinary people. And the one thing I've realized about you," he grinned, "you are by no means ordinary."

Danny huffed, "You got that right. I call him Superman," he laughed, gently slapping Steve on the shoulder. "He thinks he's invincible, maybe all this time I've been wrong about you," he smiled, "maybe you are the man of steel. It sounds to me like its all up to you whether or not you are, or aren't."

Matt smiled up at him, glad to know that Steve had someone like Danny that could keep him on the straight and narrow path to recovery, regardless of whatever final physical outcome that may be, Dr. Kidder knew without a doubt that there would be dark days ahead in that journey, very dark days.

Steve took in all the information given to him, sorting through it and pushing out the negative, focusing on the positive words from Dr. Kidder. He had a long way to go before he'd be 100% again, but felt a wave of superiority over the bullet that was lodged in his spine. He knew his body better than anyone, and knew without a doubt, just like Matt had predicted, that he could overcome this. He looked up at him with a stern glare of determination in his eyes, "How soon can I start physical therapy?"

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Kono stood next to the bed with her hand through the bars touching Steve's arm. "Do you need anything? I mean, clothes, shaving stuff?"

Steve shook his head, "No, I'm good. Thanks though." He smiled up at her, "Don't look so worried, Kono. I'll be back to work barking orders in no time, believe me."

The tense look on her face relaxed, "I know. It's just not the same when you're not around."

"You miss me?!" he said cheerfully, looking over at Danny. "I bet that doesn't go for everyone."

"Don't believe that for a second," Danny defended himself. "You know how much I hate being in charge of paperwork, so yes I do miss you, A LOT!"

"Don't screw up my system either. I have it organized perfectly."

Danny rolled his eyes, "Yea, yea, I know. I won't." He went toward the door, "Kono we have to take off." He looked down at Steve, "I'll be back tonight after work sometime."

Steve felt Kono squeeze his right arm. "You look good," she smiled. "Just take it easy and don't over do it," she said of the physical therapy.

"I won't," he said to appease her, but had every intention of getting the most out of every session and going above and beyond what they expected of him, no matter the pain or weariness that evolved from it. He was going to make a miraculous recovery just as Dr. Kidder had mentioned.

Danny held the door open for her as they both gave one more hand-raising goodbye before walking down the corridor towards the elevators.

"Hey, I'm going to use the head before we leave," Danny said to her, pointing toward the restrooms sign. "I'll meet you back at the station."

Kono signaled her acknowledgement with a hand as she jumped on the elevator that was just about to close.

Danny came out of the restroom a couple minutes later, making his way over to the elevator when he heard a familiar voice that sounded tense, looking over in the direction of a room that housed medical supplies, the door slightly ajar, but open enough to see Dr. Kidder and hear the argument going on between him and another man.

"You gave out misinformation to my patient," the other voice said in the same stressed tone.

"That's absolutely not true," Matt argued. "I told him to fight for his life and to not give up hope. You just want them to lie there and let medication mask the problem. He needs to know he has a chance! He deserves the right to at least feel he can make a difference in his recovery besides being confined to a wheelchair!"

"His chances of walking again are slim," the other voice growled, "you give hope, but you crossed the line on this one. At best he'll get the use of his left arm, at best!"

Danny took a step toward the door, seeing the two men switch positions and Steve's surgeon from the day of the shooting come into view through the crack as Dr. Kidder disappeared.

"Why tell him that?" Matt argued. "Why not let him know he at least has a chance?"

"The only chance he has is if we do another operation to remove the other bullet and you know as well as I do that is too risky. Telling him he could walk again is like telling a man with no legs he could run a marathon!" his voice clearly becoming agitated. "There is no connection there! Do I have to point the wound out to you on the x-rays Dr. Kidder, like you're a first year med student?"  
"The stronger he is the more likely another operation in time could be successful. Why do you think old school? Even if he never walks again, why not give him the mindset to be stronger both physically and mentally? Do I have to point out to you the benefits of exercise on patients that experience paralysis like you're a first year med student?" he bellowed.

"Stay away from my patients," Dr. Carney warned in a low threatening voice. "I'm going to talk to administration about you. You come in here with three years under your belt, but I have thirty! Don't try and lecture me about medicine!"

"I'm just…"

"Conversation over!" Dr. Carney growled, swinging the door open and walking down the corridor away from where Danny was standing. His face flushed with anger.

Danny stood by the corner wall, able to see Dr. Kidder leaning against a table as he wiped his hands up and down his face, clearly distraught himself from the confrontation. Danny didn't have to hear Steve's name to know they were talking about him. He stared at Matt, wanting to go in there and punch him square in the jaw for giving Steve, hell, for giving all of them false hope. He led them to believe that Steve could walk again, but after hearing from the man that had actually saved Steve's life and given what use he had of his body, he felt all that confidence that had been instilled from Dr. Kidder quickly fade.

Matt pushed off the table and froze in his tracks, seeing Danny across the way staring at him. It wasn't the shock over him possibly hearing the conversation between he and Dr. Carney, as it was the enraged glare that was coming from him. He was quite certain that if he were within reaching distance of the man that his nose would be bloodied.

Danny finally turned and walked away, making his way toward the elevators but kept going, seeing a row of four vacant chairs and taking advantage of one of them, his legs feeling weak over the current condition of his partner and best friend.

He sat down and leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. The first image that flashed before him was Steve in a wheelchair. The sight sickened him and he quickly sat up and leaned over, bracing his elbows on his knees as his hands went through his hair, wondering where in the hell they went from here. Time wasn't his friend anymore; time was his enemy because at that moment Steve was being updated and the quote that 'time heals all wounds' had just flown out the window; time was now ticking down of his next visit and how he was going to talk him through this. At the moment he had no idea.


	2. Chapter 2

Danny stood outside the door to Steve's room, unable to take that next step, afraid of what he might be walking into.

He had been useless at work the past four hours after hearing the dispute between the two surgeons. He tried to shift his thoughts elsewhere but time had drug on sitting behind his desk trying to research a current case, not having any luck whatsoever of concentrating on the task for more than a couple of minutes at a time before Steve would pop into his head and distract his thoughts. He finally gave up after about an hour and just sat back and stared across the way at the vacant office that was going to remain that way, maybe permanently.

In the beginning there had been a sense of hope that Dr. Kidder had falsely given them, but now after confronting him at the hospital on his return, he reneged on that hope, saying he should have been more forthright in his explanation, but still urged him to keep Steve moving forward, making sure he remained strong in both mind and body. It was the key to his recovery.

"There could be another surgery that could turn it around," he reminded him, but Danny only blasted him again for trying to give them additional false hope. Another surgery was not hope, it was a fifty-fifty chance that he would be paralyzed from the neck down and have to be on a ventilator for the rest of his life, that wasn't hope, that was suicide as far as he was concerned.

Even still, Dr. Kidder remained diligent in his argument, even as Danny walked away, encouraging him to not allow Steve to give up.

He may not have personally had thirty years in the field of medicine, Matt thought, but he'd worked with some of the finest doctors who had, and been an eye witness to recoveries that were considered miraculous to everyone except the surgeons who didn't give up on their patient and allow them to settle with the hand they were dealt as he felt Dr. Carny was doing with Steve. They encouraged them to shuffle the cards and make an attempt for a royal flush, and those who took the challenge more often than not, got one.

It bothered him immensely that Steve wasn't going to get that chance. They didn't trust his medical advice now and no matter what he said, it would be discredited. He was feeling that lack of experience now, wishing he had gone about his explanation to them with a different approach. Next time he would, learning from his error.

Danny stood staring at the hospital door that led into the room that his partner occupied. The situation had changed dramatically since the last time he'd entered it, not knowing what he was about to face and worse yet, not prepared for it in the least.

He reached his hand up though anyway, powerless to run away from what may lay on the other side, and pulled down on the handle as he opened it, wondering in that split second if maybe Steve didn't know yet, but as he came in he saw his partner's face turn in his direction and then look away back toward the window. He felt his heart sink, seeing full well the bad news had been delivered by the disheartening expression on his friend's face.

"Hey," Danny said as he approached the bed.

Steve ignored the greeting trying with all his might to find that place within his soul that still held a shred of hope, but it was suppressed somewhere deep or had vanished all together. The news was still so fresh that any kind of optimism that he felt earlier was gone. All he could focus on was a future that consisted of immobility and the loss of his independence; he wasn't sure which of those two frightened him the most. He didn't want visitors right now, wishing Danny hadn't come. He just wanted to be alone, not wanting to have to explain the gruesome details that Dr. Carney had shared with him, grossly apologizing for the fabricated hope that Dr. Kidder had given him, but nonetheless encouraging him to focus on the fact that he was alive and based on his military background he had the mental stability to work through it.

Danny put both hands on the bars of the bed, squeezing them as he looked down at him. "I know Steve," he said quietly.

He turned his head looking up at him, taken back over that news.

"I heard Kidder and your surgeon arguing in the hallway earlier about your condition. By the look on your face, you know too." He wanted to say something to make it better, but couldn't even think of what he would want said to him if the roles were reversed. "It doesn't mean that all is lost."

"Don't say it," Steve replied, turning his face away from him again. "I don't want to hear a pep talk right now, Danny. I just want to be alone." He felt that same sharp pain run through his chest that he did as he lay there and listened to his doctor explain the paralysis and the recovery that didn't hold even the slightest bit of hope that Dr. Kidder's had. Dr. Carney had been so sure that he had even brought in another colleague to back it up, deflating any kind of false hope that Kidder had instilled.

"I'm not going to give you a pep talk, but I want you to know that no matter what happens, Steve, or whatever it is you're feeling that…I'm here and I'll be here when you're ready."

He turned his head just slightly to acknowledge his thanks for that, but at the same time the first wave of reality rolled over him. He knew without a doubt that Danny would stand by his side and appreciated it, but at the same time he felt a new low overcome him, realizing that he was now a liability, a burden on his best friend, and he always would be.

The emotional toll of that began to overcome him not wanting Danny or anyone else to see any further humiliation by witnessing him cry. "Thanks, Danny," his voice weak as he fought to keep control. "Just let me be for a while, ok? Ok? Just…let me be."

Danny stepped back knowing him well enough to know exactly what was happening. He didn't want to witness it anymore than Steve wanted him to.

"Alright," he replied in the same disheartening tone as he backed away. "I'll be back tomorrow morning."

Steve nodded but didn't face him again, hearing his footsteps and then the latch on the door as it caught and closed.

He let out a despairing breath that he'd been holding in for Danny's sake and took in another one, yet his lungs still felt empty. The emotional fear that engulfed him was staggering. The magnitude of this dire situation filled him with a terror that left the rest of him paralyzed as well, looking down at his right hand through blurred eyes, squeezing it into a tight fist and opening it up again, stretching the fingers and then resuming the fist, repeating this over and over just to be assured that he could.

He stared at his toes under the blanket at the foot of the bed, narrowing his eyes, intensely willing them to move as his brain concentrated on the task. He gritted his teeth as a bead of sweat began to form at the base of his temple, growling over the anger that began to build over the simple task that he had taken for granted every second of his life, but was now gone in the blink of an eye. He didn't even have a chance to fight for his life; the battle was over before he even knew it had started.

He let out a gasp of breath that he'd been holding as the rest of his muscles relaxed under the pressure of trying to perform the impossible feat. He laid his head back on the pillow as the first tear fell, becoming overwrought with grief over the life that he had known and loved that was now gone. Where would he go from here? What would he do? How would he live? And worse yet, who would ever love him now? He felt a cold chill run through him as his body quivered because of it, never feeling so alone or frightened in his entire life.

He glanced around the room as if wanting to reach out to someone for help but he was alone, as sure as he would be for the rest of his life. He'd never marry, and it was certain now he would never have children, but the second life altering strike that physically shook him was that he'd never experience the exciting, pleasurable sensation of being with a woman ever again. That part of him was dead now, he was scarcely 35 years old and he was nothing, not even a whole man. His entire identity was gone as if deleted like a useless file with the swipe of a finger over a trigger.

He was reduced to nothing.


	3. Chapter 3

The two ambulance orderlies wheeled the gurney into Steve's room.

"We'll be right back," one said. "We just have to sign off at the front desk before the transport."

"Thank you," Danny said.

Steve didn't respond, looking away from them and turning his attention back out the window to the familiar view outside his hospital room. The mid afternoon mist of clouds was just beginning to roll over the Ko'olau Mountain Range in the distance. He had grown fond of it over the past ten days, hoping the rehab place had something similar to look at. It had become a form of comfort to him, using it as a line of sight, a focus point when things began to really get out of control in his head. The magnitude and beauty of them was a reminder that there was something bigger than himself out there and forced him to see the beauty in life, even when the inside of the room looked ugly and bleak. It had calmed him on countless occasions.

He needed that view today more than ever.

"I think this is going to be a good move," Danny said, trying to encourage him.

The door opened and his sister Mary came in, wheeling in a cart to haul away the countless flowers that had been sent by well-wishers over the course of his stay since the shooting. She had arrived a few days after the incident, having to be tracked down by Chin through HPD since she had moved and changed phone numbers. Regretting now those first few days that she wasn't there for him, knowing how easily he could have died.

"Are you excited to be getting out of here?" she asked her brother as she began to transfer vases to the table.

"I'm just going from one hospital to another. It's not like I'm really going anywhere," he replied grumpily.

"My, my, aren't we in a mood today," she mumbled in the same tone as she untied a balloon that had lost its helium from a flower vase

He glanced over at her and felt a stab of fear over his response that was masked by guilt. "I'm sorry," he apologized sincerely, looking back out to the mountain range, trying to ease his temper that could flair up at a moments notice. He had always been so hard on her but now he needed her, cursing himself for the rude remark. She was his only blood relative and he was desperate to keep her close. She loved him, and right now he craved that from her, more than he ever dreamed he would. He had to be more aware of his words; afraid he would say something in one of his bouts of depression that would push her away.

He reached out with his right hand and gripped her wrist, "I'm sorry, Mary."

She looked down at the gentle hold and then at him, seeing that weak desperation in his eyes that she hated, wanting to smack it off of him and tell him to man up and be the person he was, not the one he was becoming, but instead she smiled, letting him know all was well.

It was as if he were afraid she would storm out and never come back. Sometimes his kindness toward her was so overly sweet she wanted to say something reckless, just to witness that confused and disturbed expression on his face when he was trying to figure her out but couldn't. A simple roll of his eyes just once would please her beyond words. She missed her big brother that she loved and admired so much, but he was nowhere to be found.

The two men returned with a female nurse that had been on rotation as a regular since his arrival. She went to Steve's bedside and lowered the bars.

"I'm going to secure your left arm against your body so during transport it's more protected. Is that ok?"

Steve shrugged, "I guess." He hadn't really got to know any of them, only speaking when he was spoken to, other than that he kept to himself inside the small world of chaos and fear that had developed over the past ten days.

"How is your mobility today with that left hand?" she asked.

Steve looked down at his limp arm and concentrated on telling his brain what to do. It took a second for the connection but his fingers moved ever so slightly at his command.

"That's great!" the nurse remarked happily. "Dr. Carney said you would have full use of your arm again."

Steve ignored the praise, too occupied with trying desperately to use the same method of command and make his toes move. He would often move his hand and then instantaneously try and move his toes, hoping that whatever nerve was signaling his fingers would somehow ignite and move his legs as well, but so far it was a hopeless theory.

She put a hand behind his back, leaning him forward as she draped a sling over his head, resting it on his left shoulder. "You know," she began as she worked getting his immobile arm into it, "I admire you quite a lot. I never said anything because I know that you don't remember who I am, but a couple of years ago the nursing school I was attending became a hostage setting when two men who were running from the police came in with guns and locked us in a room with them."

Steve looked up at her face, not recognizing her but he did recall the situation. "I remember that. They had robbed Sun bank."

She nodded, adjusting the sling as she spoke, "Yes. I had never been more scared in my entire life. We were there for over an hour before you came in, unarmed, just wanting to negotiate with the two men." She stepped back checking her work to make sure the sling wasn't bunched up as she continued the story, "I remember seeing you standing by both men when there was a loud distraction, which I'm sure now was planned," she smiled. "We all turned our heads to where it was coming from and when I turned back, you had both men on the ground, one was unconscious. It was over in seconds." She looked at him as he stared back at her as if trying to recall her amongst the other young men and women that were in the room. "You were the bravest man I had ever met, but to you it was like a walk in the park. You were faced with such overwhelming odds, yet you handled it like it was nothing."

Steve smiled just slightly out of the corner of his mouth over the compliment but it also stung, knowing that was from a previous life that didn't exist anymore.

"I hope you will face this very situation with the same outlook. I know you're scared just like I was, just don't hold yourself hostage, Steve. You're better than that. I've seen it first hand."

A pep talk, he thought, another pep talk. He didn't see the irony in her words, to him that's all they were, words, but he looked up at her appreciate anyway, knowing she meant well.

She patted him gently on the shoulder as the two men came around on either side of him to lift him onto the gurney.

Danny followed next to them as they wheeled Steve out to the waiting ambulance. He was in a seated position on the gurney, just slightly reclined.

"Is it ok if I ride with him?" he asked the two men.

"Sure," one replied as they carefully pushed the gurney into the back.

Danny climbed in next, moving to the back and taking a seat on a fold down chair that was secured to the wall. He rested his elbows on his knees and looked at Steve who had the same grim expression he'd had for the past ten days.

"Some story that nurse told, huh?" Danny began. "I remember that day. We wanted to negotiate with them and you laughed. We didn't, but you did," he laughed now. "I thought you were the craziest son of a bitch I'd ever met." He shook his head recalling their dysfunctional relationship in the beginning, "Or so I thought up to that day. But then I realized you weren't crazy at all, you were just worried about those people in there and you had the confidence in yourself to know you could get them out," he shook his head again and sighed over the memory," and you did, unscathed."

"I don't need another pep talk, Danny," he replied dryly.

"It's not a pep talk!" Danny snapped, sitting back in the chair. "Jesus, I'm just trying to open your eyes and pull your head out of your ass!" He regretted the outburst and harsh words the second after he said them, but he was also sick and tired of the depression that had set in, and so was Mary. "You need to start looking at this from a different angle, Steve. I'm not going to say that I know how you feel or what you're going through because I don't, but I do know you," he leaned forward again, speaking directly to him even though he didn't get a face-to-face conversation.

Steve lowered his eyes, knowing too what he was trying to accomplish, the same as the nurse. He slowly looked down his body, his eyes focusing on the two limbs that were still attached to his body but had no purpose anymore other than to remind him of a life he once had.

"I'm trying Danny," he said quietly as one of the men began to climb in the back with them.

"Hey," Danny said to him. "Do you mind riding up front? We need some privacy."

He looked at him a little taken back and then at Steve who was just staring off to the side. It was clear to him the conversation he had just walked into was not one that he wanted to hear any further. "Uhh, sure I guess that would be ok." He backed out of the ambulance and closed the doors.

"Where do I go from here, Danny?" Steve asked, his voice somber as the engine started. "What kind of life is this?"

"It's a tough one," he responded brutally honest, "and it's going to get tougher before it gets easier."

"Gee thanks," Steve grunted, "that makes me feel so much better."

"I'm not going to tell you anything that you don't already know. I don't think you want me to sugarcoat it either. You know what you're up against, but I know you Steve, you can do this. You're not alone either. You must know that?"

He did, and he also knew that he was right. He wasn't dead and if he was going to live then he needed to find a way to do that in this body. He needed to get past the fear of starting over, but he just couldn't find the inner strength needed to begin that journey. He slowly looked over at Danny, his expression still distraught not knowing how he was going to accomplish it, but appreciative to know that he wasn't alone. "This is hard, Danny. It's really hard."

He heard the words but could see in his eyes the real ones that were buried. He was afraid. He could see it on him only because he knew him so well and what he had been witnessing over the past two weeks was a Steve he had never seen before. How could he not be scared? He never spoke of the fear, only showing the depression, which was only the outer layer, but the real emotion had yet to surface in his partner. He wasn't sure he wanted to witness it either, not sure how or if he could handle that.

"I'm glad you're alive, Steve. For a few minutes there that day I thought you weren't going to make it." He put a hand on his friend's shoulder, "I'm glad you're alive."

Steve nodded and smiled that same ole' artificial one he had been delivering when someone spoke of how lucky he really was, but the truth of the matter remained, it would have been less painful for himself and everyone else in the long run if he just would have died that day.  
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The ambulance backed up to the entrance of the rehab center and stopped. The driver was out first and opened up the back doors.

Steve looked out seeing two large Hawaiian men standing off to the side in green scrubs with ID badges hanging from their chest pockets, smoking a cigarette. They each took one long last drag before dousing them in the sand filled container supplied for just that purpose.

The two men greeted the ambulance driver with a slight head toss and then stood at the back door looking in on Danny and Steve.

"Hey," the one on the left greeted them, his ID badge reading the name Jessie and the other one named, Pokie.

Danny looked at the one on the right with narrowed eyes named Pokie, recognizing him but not able to place him. He didn't make eye contact with either he or Steve. He didn't have a good feeling about that one, not sure why but his instincts told him to be weary.

"How you doing?" Danny said to them.

"Ok," Jessie replied as if bored. He reached in and pulled on the gurney allowing the wheels to come down as he did.

Steve felt a bump as it came out, his attention focused on Pokie, recognizing him just as quickly as he had him. They had busted him a couple of years before along with four others that were running drugs out of a house by Pearl Harbor. He was quite certain that Pokie knew exactly who he was as well.

He followed him with his eyes until he disappeared behind him as he began to push and Jessie pulled from the front, wheeling him into the rehab center; his new residence for a duration that had not yet been established.

The doors opened and he could smell the stench of loneliness and despair, even though the actual scent was bleach from the bucket in the corner that had been used to mop the floor. There were yellow signs displayed by the entrance, warning them that it might be slippery.

As they came down the main corridor he glanced inside the rooms as he passed, hearing TV's blaring out talk shows or an afternoon baseball game that was taking place on the mainland. Some of the inhabitants looked in his direction; none of them seemed to be any happier to be there than he was.

He felt a new anxiety begin to arise and over take him, even more so than the one that was constant. He hated this place already.

They stopped in front of a door and he looked across at another room, making eye contact with an old man who snarled at him, waving a hand as if telling him to look away.

"What do you want?!" he screamed out. "Don't touch my slippers! They're mine!"

Steve looked at him oddly and realized the old man wasn't talking to him; he was just talking in general. Jessie and Pokie both chuckled and ignored the outburst as if it was a routine event.

He looked away and down the long corridor at the rows of doors. A few of them had people sitting in wheelchairs in front of them or partially out as if they were on their way someplace, but he quickly realized they weren't going anywhere at all, they were just sitting, waiting for nothing. A few looked in his direction and just stared. Even from a distance he could see the weariness and hopelessness in their eyes, wondering how long they had been here.

His heart began to pound as a panic filled him. He didn't want to be here. He didn't belong here. He felt the gurney lurch backward as Danny walked with him. They made eye contact as Jessie and Pokie wheeled him into his room.

Danny felt his heart sink to his stomach over the unsettling expression on Steve. He was scared. No, Danny thought grimly, he was terrified. He saw it plain as day on him as he tried to hide it by looking away, but it was too late, he'd revealed too much in that split second glance.

"It won't be for long," Danny tried to assure him as they went inside.

Steve glanced around the large room he would eventually share with two other people, but at the moment both beds to his relief were vacant. The unpleasant aroma of sweat and anesthetic once again filled the air, making him all the more apprehensive about where he was. As they turned the gurney and lined it up with his bed he got a glimpse of the only window in the room. The view what he could see was of a wall, nothing more.

Danny felt the apprehension too as he scanned his surroundings. The room was clean but it was clear that the place was busy partially due to the fact that no medical staff had greeted them as of yet.

Jessie pulled a small two-way radio out of the pocket of his scrubs and spoke into it. Pokie set the brakes on the bed and they both began to leave when Danny spoke up.

"Hey! Aren't you going to put him in the bed?"

"Not our job," Jessie said. "We can't move him without a nurse or doctor present. Someone will be by in a minute or two." He held the radio up as if displaying it, "We got another patient we have to move." They both walked out, leaving them alone.

Danny went to the door and glanced down in both directions, seeing the two men disappear around a corner. There was no other staff member that he could see, only the patients sitting in the doorways as if waiting for something to happen.

He came back and stood next to Steve. "Someone will be by in a minute," he said, trying to make the best of what was becoming a not so easy transition.

"I heard," Steve replied, trying not to show his overwhelming desire to roll out of the bed onto the floor and drag himself out of this place. He looked up at Danny. "Did you recognize him?"

"Who?"

"The guy that wheeled me in? Pokie."

Danny recalled the familiarity and seeing the name on the badge but still hadn't made the connection. "Do we know him? He looked familiar."

"Two years ago. We busted him with a gang that was running drugs between the islands."

Danny's eyes lit up as he recalled the situation. "Oh yea," he turned his head in the direction of the door. "That's where I know him from. I knew he looked familiar." His next thought was a slight paranoia, "Do you think he recognized us?"

Steve felt the same unsettling feeling over that. "Well considering he wouldn't even make eye contact with me, I'd guess yes."

"I wonder if they know they have an ex con working for them." He wished he hadn't said that, trying to make the best of it. "I'm sure they do. These places have background checks."

"How do you know?"

Danny shrugged as if it were common knowledge, but really didn't know. "It's a hospital, they have to by law don't they?"

"It's not a hospital," Steve reminded him. "It's a way station before being thrown into your new life."

Danny caught the sarcasm; it was evident both in the statement and the tone. He walked back over to the door, looking down in both directions once again, deciding whether or not to go hunt someone down or simply yell out for assistance. They had been there far too long in his opinion without anyone coming by yet. The bad feeling about leaving him there was not getting any better.

He went back over to the gurney, seeing Steve staring at the window across the way. "You ok?"

He looked up at him seeing the worry in Danny's eyes, knowing he was feeling the same apprehensions about leaving him here as he did about staying. That first sign of being a burden began to show and he quickly diminished the sign, not wanting to be a liability to him. "I'm fine. It's fine, Danny. It's not the Hilton," he grinned, "but its fine."

A half an hour later he was settled.

Mary had arrived not long after they had got him into his bed. Steve was glad for that; if she would have been there earlier as they waited he was certain she would have caused a scene. She wandered around his room now, adjusting things by his bed so they were within reach.

"Why put this over here," she said irritably, pointing at the call button that was attached to the wall above his head. "If you need someone how are you going to get to that?"

"It's ok, Mary," Steve said. "I still have my voice and you know how loud that can get." He grinned at her, appreciative of her attempt to make him comfortable.

She rolled her eyes, forgoing the organizing and reached down handing him the TV remote, which they both noticed also had an alert button on it that was attached to the side of the bed. "Here."

"I can't watch anymore TV," he sighed, having had his fill since being laid up.

"I'll bring you some books. How about some nice romances," she teased as she smoothed the blanket over him by tucking it into the side of his mattress, making it seamless like a military bed.

He knew the romance statement was just a joke, but it once again reminded him of his life that was now and would forever be barren of any kind of romance. He didn't say anything but it was hard not to show the disappointment. He was too young to experience such a horrific thing.

Mary didn't catch on, but Danny did, seeing the change come over his face. He was a guy too, and when the mention of no feeling below the waist was first mentioned, he was pretty sure Steve's thoughts were on the same page as his own. No feeling meant no erection. Just the thought of it made most men quiver in their shoes, it did him right now, but living with it was a suffering that he couldn't even imagine. Mary would never understand the magnitude that this type of injury could inflict on a man's self-esteem let alone his emotional state.

Steve prided himself on the health and well-being of his body. He worked hard to keep it in tip-top shape. It was working against him now and Danny could already see the weight loss on him, and next would be the muscle tone that would slowly disappear if not labored, but somehow he thought sadly, getting Steve to workout was going to be a challenge. Getting him to do anything, even smile, was already proving to be impossible.

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Steve pushed away the table tray that held the turkey and ham sandwich, not having an appetite at the moment. He laid his head back and looked at the window across the way, seeing the color of the white brick of the building turn a yellow orange as the sun began to set, wishing he could see something other than what he did, missing his window at the hospital. He didn't get the same uplifting feeling looking at that as he did the mountains, turning his head away from the disappointing view.

He was alone again with nothing but his thoughts, returning to the gunfight that had put him where he was, recalling what he could, and agonizing over those few crucial seconds that would change his life forever. He'd been in so many battles yet this one had caught him by surprise. He wasn't wearing his vest. It was the key ingredient that was missing, the one thing that would have saved him.

It had all happened so fast. He didn't even recall thinking about his vest. The last thing he could remember was seeing the couple and the panic in their eyes as he and Danny stumbled upon the car jacking. Shots rang out. He and Danny split up in the parking lot and surrounded the car using other vehicles as shields, but when the gunman pointed his weapon at the man as he tried to flee he stepped out from behind his protection in the same line of fire. He returned two shots, missing both times due to the fleeing man in his way. But the return fire from the gunman's partner behind him was dead on, placing both bullets in Steve's upper body.

He closed his eyes, feeling the sharp pain once again and the shock over knowing he'd been hit not once but twice. He saw the gunman grab the woman around the neck just before he fell to the ground. He didn't want to remember anything after that.

He opened his eyes again and looked around the small space that was his temporary home. He felt a chill even though the temperature of the room was warm. His eyes followed the trace of his body, ending at his two feet that hid under the blanket, feeling that sorrow over this new life he was forced into but had no idea how to live or survive in.

The fear was constant, unlike anything he'd ever experienced and on so many levels.

He was afraid of failing, not only himself but others as well. He was afraid or succeeding and not being able to hold onto it. He was afraid of being alone, forever. He was afraid for the people around him, fearing one day that they wouldn't be anymore. There were so many uncertainties he'd been dealing with, but one more that he hadn't thought of was about to enter his room, and send his world crashing down once again.

Steve heard the door open and looked over seeing Pokie. They looked at each other with different expressions as he closed the door behind him.

Steve sensed a terrible fright that had never touched him before. He became acutely aware that he was completely and utterly helpless in the ability to defend himself. That new disturbing fear grabbed a hold of him and squeeze almost to the point that he could hardly breathe. It grew as Pokie came toward him. He glanced at both of the man's hands, looking for a weapon, assured that he was there to do him physical harm.

"So you do know who I am," Pokie said, stopping a few feet from the bed. His dark brown eyes that were void of any feeling scanned down Steve's body. "I recognized you too, both you and you're partner." He walked around to the other side of the bed. "He didn't know who I was," he said, running his hand over the steel bar that ran along the side. "He would have said something for sure. I remember he had a big mouth for such a little guy."

"What do you want?" Steve asked, trying to sound unnerved, all the while watching his hands for any sudden movement. He looked down to where the call button was at the same time in which Pokie grasped it, putting it out of reach.

"What do you want?!" Steve asked again, glaring at him.

Pokie smiled curtly at him but his eyes still showed the icy stare that helped deliver the message of why he was there, loud and clear. "You keep your mouth shut about me," he warned him. "They don't know about my prison time." He suddenly jerked his body toward him, causing a panicked reaction of which he was hoping for.

Steve instinctively pushed himself into the bed, feeling his pulse accelerate.

"That's right," Pokie continued his threat, "you should be afraid." He looked him up and down. "You aren't the big badass anymore are you? You aren't the 'man' anymore," he said, leaning over the bed, "I am! You remember that haole." He smiled, seeing Steve's eye twitch. He felt a jolt of satisfaction knowing he was intimidating him.

"Get out," Steve demanded but the order wasn't as convincing as he wanted. He turned his eyes toward the door, willing someone to come in, but his attention was returned to Pokie as he shook the bars of the bed, startling him once again. He reached out for him with his right hand, taking a weak swing.

"Com'on tough guy," he said, "come and get me." He playfully jabbed back and forth like a fighter, and then huffed. "You can't," he snickered. "You can't even wipe your own ass," he laughed. "Big tough man cut down to nothing but a shriveled up cripple."

"Fuck you," Steve growled, taking another swing but his wrist was caught by Pokie's hand. He squeezed it tightly showing his strength, shoving it into the mattress over Steve's head, knowing full well he was hurting him, glad to see the pain in his eyes.

"You're all alone here, officer cripple. You best keep that in mind too. You open your mouth about me and I'll make your life here a living hell. Even if I get fired," he huffed, "I have friends and family on staff that protect their Ohana **.** You're at our mercy now, not the other way around. You keep that close in your thoughts and we'll get along just fine you and me." He patted his cheek with his free hand and let go of his tight grip on his wrist. "You stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours."

Steve let out the breath he'd been holding and took in another, feeling his lungs constrict as Pokie backed up, picking up his dinner plate from the table.

"You sleep well now officer cripple." He displayed that same cold grin as he took a bite of his sandwich as he walked out of the room.

Steve's right hand clasped into a fist as he tried to calm the array of mixed emotions that engulfed him.

Anger, revenge and control were what he wanted to feel but to his despair they were overshadowed by fear, intimidation and humiliation; two new mindsets that he had been immune to, until now.

Pokie had seen him for what he had become, nothing but a helpless body laying in a bed that had no way to defend himself. The blow to his self-esteem by being intimidated by that man was far greater than any other he'd been dealing with since the shooting. Pokie wanted to rattle him, degrade him and shame him, succeeding in all three. Fear was an emotion he had become accustom too over the past ten days, but not in the same form that he was experiencing it now. It was on a whole new level that carried over to the ability of being bullied and disgraced, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

The disgrace of being weak and vulnerable for the first time in his life was very much apparent, living and breathing inside of him, taking over where confidence and dignity had once thrived.

He clasped his trembling hand tighter into a fist, trying desperately to fight off the next round of emotions that began to overtake him. Loneliness was once again in command, reminding him he was no longer in charge just like Pokie had said, he was at his mercy and anyone else who wanted to torment him. He was in a strange place, with strange people who were now in charge of him. He felt like he was in prison, trapped, and there was nowhere to run and no escape.

There was only one place he could think of that gave him even the slightest bit of security. A place he was familiar with and wouldn't feel intimidated nor would he feel threatened.

Home.

He tried to fight off the unwavering tears of being homesick that filled his eyes as he thought of that place, a sanctuary. Missing it more now than he ever had in his entire life.

He wanted to go home where no one could get to him and he would feel safe from the outside world.

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Steve woke up out the nightmare of being hunted like an animal. It wasn't Pokie that perused him so mercilessly in his dream, but a former criminal who had threatened him repeatedly throughout the arrest and trial, warning him of his revenge that at the time he had laughed off. It had been over two years and the inmate was serving a life sentence but the dream felt real enough and along with Pokies' threat, waking up from that nightmare only landed him in his current one.

His state of mind was in turmoil as a trickle of sweat slid down the side of his face. His eyes darted around the dark room. Something woke him up?

He felt an eerie presence and Pokie came to mind immediately. He wanted to reach for the call button on the bed but was frozen with fear still reeling from the dream, afraid of him coming at him again, only this time in the dark and with a more physical threat.

His heart pounded so hard he could feel it in his throat, hating once again the helplessness that surrounded him. He'd never been trained for this type of defense.

He waited in silence for something to happen, anticipating the torment, knowing it was coming, maybe not that night or the next day, but it was coming.

A loud noise came from outside the door and he startled, his eyes darting in that direction. The anxiety was worse than the time he'd been pinned down in battle behind a wall with gunfire spraying all around him, at least then he had a weapon to defend himself, legs to run on; in this reality he was trapped, he had no defense. It only magnified the anxiety, turning it into an overwhelming panic.

The first indication of a mental breakdown began to overtake him.

He stared at the shadow that moved back and forth from the slit of light that came from under the door, recalling his nightmare of trying to hide in a closet like a frightened child and seeing that very same image. His eyes fixated on the handle of the door, his mind playing against him, telling him it moved. They were coming for him.

He used his right hand and pushed into the mattress, unable to lift himself but was able to shift his body to the edge and away from the door, no matter the minuscule distance, it felt safer as he repositioned his hand and did it again, all the while his eyes engrossed on the handle that he was convinced was moving, as if someone were fighting with a locked door. The terror inside of him rose up as he tried to escape, moving his body even further away from the threat.

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Danny rolled over in his bed, cursing his ringing phone as he wiped away the sleep in his eyes with his thumb and index finger, trying to focus on the name that appeared on his cell. He didn't recognize it but answered anyway in a low grumbled voice.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Williams," the female voice said to him. "This is Aloha Rehab Center calling. You are on the list of emergency contacts involving Steven McGarrett."

Danny sat up, instantly awake, "Yes! What happened?! What's wrong?!"

"We have a small emergency involving Steven and would appreciate it very much if you could come down here and assist."

He threw the covers back and sat up on the edge of his bed. "Is he alright?!"

She began to give small details as he jumped up, going for his dresser.

Twenty minutes later he was vigorously walking down the hallway toward Steve's room, being met by a woman with a clipboard in her hand dressed in business attire.

"Mr. William's?" she said to him.

He recognized the voice as the same one from the call. "Yes."

"I'm Leticia Garcia," she said to him with her hand extended. "I'm the Administrative Assistant for Aloha Rehab."

He took the hand and shook it but his focus was down the hall to Steve's room where he had left him less than eight hours earlier. "Is he alright?"

She began to make her way down to the hall in that direction as she explained the problem to him, her high heels clicking on the linoleum floor as they walked the mostly silent hall.

Danny stopped just outside the door, taken back by the news of what was happening inside the room. He didn't wait for anymore of an explanation and went inside, needing to get in there and see if what she had said was actually true to life.

His eyes instantly went to the bed, seeing that it was empty. The table next to it was tipped over and there were towels on the floor that were soaking up the spill from the small pitcher of water that been on it for Steve's convenience. As he looked at the mess his eyes caught hold of the scene in the corner on the other side of the bed. A nurse and a man were squatted down speaking quietly.

Danny came around the side and his mouth dropped open at the sight of Steve laying on the floor with his back to them. His right hand braced on the wall that came off in that instant, thrashing at the woman as she put a hand on his shoulder.

"Get away from me!" he shrieked in a voice that spoke the magnitude of the problem.

"Do you see what I'm saying," Leticia said standing behind Danny, her attitude seemingly annoyed.

Danny glanced over his shoulder, glaring at her, "A small emergency?!" Danny said between gritted teeth, "what the fuck!" He ignored her surprised expression over the outburst and went to where Steve was lying, pushing the man out of the way as he got in between them, looking down at the frightening display of his friend who was traumatized. "Steve?" he said, trying to keep his voice calm.

"He's uncooperative and violent," the nurse said, standing up as she and the man backed away. "We could give him something to calm him, but need permission and he won't give it."

Danny looked at her, horrified over that suggestion. "Just go away and let me handle this."

"You have the legal right as his emergency contact," Leticia announced, "to give that order in his place."

He looked over at her as she stood across the room, all three of them watching him, hoping to get the ok. "No!" he said firmly. "Let me talk to him."

Leticia turned and gave a nod with her head to the other two, "Let him try," she said dryly as if already giving up on him.

Danny waited until they left before he knelt down behind Steve's back. He put a hand on his arm that was still braced against the wall. "Steve," he said calmly but was given the same violent reaction as the others.

"Leave me alone!" he shuddered, slicing the air with his elbow.

Danny caught him by the wrist and leaned over his body so he could see his face. "Steve! It's me! It's Danny."

He looked up and to his relief he saw that it was actually him. "Danny," he whimpered.

A wave of relief washed over his face, but Danny could still see the terrible fright in his eyes that was alarming. He braced a hand on the floor across his body, looking directly at him. "What happened, Steve?"

He laid his head back down on the floor, reaching out and clasping onto Danny's wrist that was in front of him. "Don't leave me here," he whimpered, closing his eyes. "Please Danny, don't leave me here. I want to go home. I want to go to my home. Please, don't leave…" his voice trailed off as his shoulders began to tremble. "Don't leave me here, Danny."

His hand was cold and wet from sweat as he held on as if afraid he might actually leave him there. His begging was sincere in every word that was spoken, leaving Danny filled with a guilt that shook him to his core.

"Ok Steve. I'll take care of it," he promised.

"Please Danny," he begged again as if not hearing the agreement, "don't leave me here. I want to go home."

Danny slid his other arm under his neck and lifted up his head that was tucked into the crevice of his elbow, "Steve, look at me," he said to him but the only response was more begging and pleas of the same heartfelt request. "Steve!" he said more firmly shifting his arm so his face was looking upward, "Look at me!"

He slowly opened his eyes as his breathing continued in short wavering gasps looking up at him.

Danny swallowed down the lump in his throat wondering how in the hell he had missed it, or had he not expected it so he wasn't looking for it. Either way the man lying before him was just a shell of the sturdy competent one he knew, feeling responsible for his downfall to this degree. He spoke to him with conviction and sureness even though his own voice wavered over the magnitude of what was happening. "I'll get you out of here, ok?" he promised. "Don't worry, I'll take care of it."

"I want to go home Danny," he pleaded as tears of relief filled his eyes, closing them again to hide the despair.

"I know," Danny soothed him, "I'll make it happen. I promise." He scooted a little closer to him, sliding his knee under his head. "It's going to be ok, Buddy," he said convincingly, "everything's going to work out in the end, I promise. I'll make sure of it."

He let his body relax, knowing full well that Danny would handle it. The sense of relief was overwhelming, picturing his bed and the view from his lanai of the ocean, wanting to see it more than any other place on earth.

The door opened and Danny looked over expecting to see the staff but instead saw Mary as she hurried over to them with the same frightened and concern expression that he had when arriving on the scene.

"What happened?!" she asked frantically, bracing a hand on Danny's shoulder as she knelt down next to him.

"He wants to go home."

She looked at Danny in shock but saw that he didn't have the same apprehension that she did. He stared at her as if telling her there would be no argument that it was generally set in stone. Her focus went down to her brother lying on the floor, his eyes closed as if he were asleep. She put a gentle hand on his face as he opened them looking up at her. Her heart went out to him feeling for the first time in her life as the strong one when it came to the two of them. It was heartbreaking.

"Hi," she smiled as her vision became blurred through tears. "You ready to come home?"

Steve nodded, not taking his eyes away from her praying he wouldn't get an argument from her either.

"Ok," she sniffed, wiping away a drop that teetered on the brink of falling. "I think that's good idea."

He let out a breath of relief and closed his eyes again. He was so tired. He wanted to sleep now, knowing he could with out any fear.

She looked at Danny, shaking her head in disbelief.

"It's been coming on, did you see it?" he asked of Steve's behavior.

She shook her head, "No. We should have," she sniffed, looking back down at him guiltily. "What's our next move?"

"We got to get him released."

She nodded and pushed down on his shoulder as she stood up and went back out the door where the others were gathered around talking amongst themselves. They all looked at her as she came toward them.

"Is he settled down now," Leticia asked. "We need to get him back in bed and make sure he's ok."

"I need to know what I have to do to get him released," Mary announced.

Leticia narrowed her eyebrows in shock and glanced at the others who held the same bewildered expression. "Excuse me? Released?" she questioned. "I don't think that's a good idea," she practically laughed. "The Physiologist on call is on his way here. He'll need to be evaluated for his mental instability."

Those words startled her, refusing to believe this was anything more than a plea to return home. "He's not mentally unstable," Mary replied firmly, not liking her attitude. "He just wants to go home and in the morning we're going to make that happen. So you can either get the paperwork started so it's ready when we leave or I'll simply take him out of here and you can tell your boss why we left without signing out."

"Who's going to care for him? He ripped his catheter out, who's going to replace it and make sure he has the optimal therapy that is required?" she stood her ground staring at her disrespectfully.

Mary hadn't thought that far ahead, but it didn't matter, if she had to do all those things herself, then she would. Steve was her only family and for the first time in her life he needed her and she wasn't about to let him down, not for a second. "We'll take care of it," she replied stubbornly, the one trait that she and her brother shared, standing her ground, arms folded tightly across her chest.

Leticia shook her head and then shrugged annoyed with the whole situation, "Ok fine. I'll be back."

Mary focused on the other two, "Can you please help us get him back into bed?"

"Yes," the woman answered. She looked at Leticia as she trotted back down the hallway toward her office, heels clicking once again. "I'll put his catheter back in too and show you how it's done."

Mary tried not to cringe over that suggestion, but held firm, nodding her acceptance. ' _Whatever it took,_ ' she thought stubbornly.

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Steve woke up and lifted his head off the pillow. He looked over in the faint morning light and saw Danny asleep in the other bed across the way, lying on top of the covers. He had kept his promise of not leaving him there alone. He was grateful for it, lying his head back down again.

"Hey," Mary said as she set her phone down and stood up with a cup of coffee in her hand.

She smiled at him and it tenderly reminded him of his mother, grateful that she was there as well. "Hey," he replied quietly. "I'm sorry about…"

"No need to say anything more about that," she cut him off. "I'm sorry for not recognizing it sooner." She came up to the side of his bed, putting a hand on his arm. "I guess I never see you as a real life person. You've always been this larger than life man that was always in control."

He hoped she still saw him as the big brother, a role he felt he had lived up to in her eyes, until now. "Have I disappointed you, Mary?" he asked genuinely.

"No," she quickly responded. "Never Steve. You will always be my big brother and the one I look up to, that will never change no matter what."

That got a smile out of him, which pleased her as well, not seeing a trace of the breakdown that she had witnessed earlier.

"You know what," he said to her, "you kinda looked like Mom standing over there, keeping watch."

That got a smile out of her, which pleased him.

"Would you like me to run out and get you some 7up," she teased, recalling that whenever they were ill for some reason their mother always gave them 7up.

Steve chuckled, "Maybe that's my miracle cure, it always worked before when I didn't feel well."

"How about some coffee instead? We have a big day ahead of us."

Steve's smile faded to a frown. "How can I go home, Mary?"

"We got it all worked out," she said. "Well," she corrected, "I should say Danny got it all worked out. He was on the phone half the night after we got you back in bed with the Governors' flunky and eventually got the actual Governor out of bed."

Steve looked at her shocked, "He did what?!"

"It was really quite impressive the way he worked him. He basically laid down the law and by the time he hung up the Governor had agreed that the state should foot the bill to have you set up in your house and a live in nurse slash physical therapist until you are able to fend for yourself."

Steve looked over at the sleeping body lying across the room gently snoring. "How the hell did he swing that?"

"He basically rattled off your resume' and told him how many times you'd risked your life for country and his island that he governed over, not to mention the couple that you saved and got shot for, and the governor being a patriotic man that he is saw the light and agreed that you deserved the best treatment that money could buy, so we have the green light to bring you home and set you up however we see fit."

He was relieved beyond words, but more than that he was touched by Danny's willingness to go out on a limb like that and fight for him.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Mary asked. "I know I told you not to apologize for it, but if you need to talk about it," she shrugged nonchalantly, "or anything else for that matter, you know you can. If you want," she added.

He didn't really know what to say or how to explain what he was feeling. The initial fear that had begun his breakdown the night before was still there, it just wasn't as blatant, having she and Danny there soothed it for the time being, but it lingered close by and he just wanted to go home, knowing he'd feel the same security there that he did now. The only other fear living deeply embedded inside of him was life going forward. It still scared him to death in a way that no physical location or body could ease it.

He did have a question for her though that had puzzled him for years, hoping maybe she could enlighten him on the task of moving forward.

"How do you do it, Mary?" he asked, sincerely bewildered. "How do you reinvent yourself so much? Every time I see you, it seems like you have either a new style or a new way of thinking."

She shrugged, taking a second to ponder that question that she had never asked herself or been asked before.

"I don't know, maybe it's because I don't take life too seriously. There's too much to explore and experience to just stick with the same ole game plan. Does that disappoint you? The way I live?"

He shook his head, "No. To tell you the truth, I admire it. I wish I had just a hint of your carefree lifestyle. It would do wonders for me now," he sighed heavily with a troubled grin.

Mary leaned on the bars of the bed and handed him her coffee, "You may not be able to go out on the job and carry a gun but that doesn't mean you still can't be a crucial part of the investigation." She tapped the side of his head as he took a sip of coffee. "This is like a computer and you don't catch criminals by stumbling across them on the street, you hunt them down by using your brain. You don't need to reinvent yourself to move on, you just need to keep an open mind to what your possibilities are now, and truthfully," she smiled, "knowing you and your work ethic, the possibilities are endless."

It wasn't a pep talk like so many others; it came from her heart and in turn touched his. "Thanks, Mary. That helps. It really does." He let his guard down, feeling closer to her than he ever had before. She took on that motherly quality that he had witnessed earlier which allowed his inner fears to be acknowledged. "I'm just scared," he confessed. "I can't take care of myself. I can't even go to the bathroom or take a shower. I can barely move. I don't like being taken care of. I hate it," he growled under his breath. "It's humiliating."

"You need to get over that. It's not going away anytime soon."

"What about defending myself," he added. "I can't defend myself at all. I just…" he looked at her in a way that she could only describe as helpless. "I just feel like I'm nothing anymore. I'm no one, just a body, no soul."

That brought tears to her eyes, "You're not a nobody, you're my brother, you're a friend to so many people, you're a protector to even more, now and forever. But it doesn't matter what I say or how I say it, Steve. You have to work through this on your own and find your own way."

"I'm afraid I'm going to always be alone," he added mournfully. "I have nothing to offer a woman, nothing," he said, emphasizing on the word nothing as if replacing it with the real word that was intended, sex.

Mary got his meaning without having it to be spelled out. "You'd be surprised," she said with a knowing look, "what women really want from a man, and sex isn't always on the top of the list like it is for a man. What you know about women Steve is nothing compared to what you know about…" she chuckled, "everything else."

"What are you saying, that I don't know women, or what they like?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

He went to argue her point and then stopped, closing his mouth and coming to the conclusion that he could hardly argue a woman's mind and what they were thinking, with an actual woman. He had to take into account that maybe she was right on this subject. It gave him a little peace of mind, and he valued it and her, but the fact of the matter still remained that from a male's point of view that vital part of a relationship was null and void in his case.

"I don't know if you've ever given me advice before Mary, but I'll take it. I'm glad you're here," he said to her appreciatively. "I really am."

She reached through the bars and put a hand on his arm. "I'm glad you're here too."


	4. Chapter 4

Steve looked in the direction of his front door as they pulled him out the back of the ambulance that had brought him home.

A smile erupted on his face at not only the sight of home, but of the twenty or so people who were all gathered in front of it, cheering loudly at his arrival.

"Welcome home!" they yelled simultaneously and then clapped. They began to walk toward him as the ambulance attendants wheeled him in their direction.

"Nice reception," one of them said with a smile.

"Yea it is," Steve replied, honored by the nice gesture, assured it was Danny that had spread the word.

"Welcome home," Kono smiled brightly, leading the pack of people with Mary at her side.

"Hey Kono." He reached his right hand up and made a fist, bumping hers. "Hey!" he smiled at a couple of fellow officers who greeted him in the same form.

"You look great, Steve."

One person after another welcomed him with either a fist bump or a traditional handshake, or some even jokingly saluted him. The greetings were all different but the words were all generally the same, telling him how good he looked and that he'd be up and around in no time.

They didn't stay long, just enough time to greet him and send their good wishes. After that they slowly made their way back to their cars and presumably back to work since it was a weekday and early afternoon. Many promised to stop by again when he got settled. Some he believed while others he knew it was just a play on words, but still, he was glad to hear it and glad to know that there were actually people out there who cared enough to take the time out of their busy day to show their respect for him. It was beyond uplifting to him, giving him a renewed sense of Ohana, which was the very reason he loved the island and his home so much.

The ambulance attendants held back and allowed the reception to take place, not rushing to get him inside until the last person waved goodbye as they walked across the yard. The only ones that remained were his three partners and little sister.

"Ok then," Mary said, opening the front door, "Welcome home Bro."

He couldn't wait to get inside and sleep in his own bed for the first time in weeks. It was going to be a blessing, but as they brought him inside that wish was quickly diminished.

His family room that had once consisted of a brown leather couch, matching loveseat and recliner were all gone, replaced with a hospital bed and standing home gym in the far off corner.

"What's all this?" Steve asked, looking from Mary to Danny and then Chin and Kono. "Where's all my furniture? Am I supposed to sleep down here?"

"Well," Mary huffed, "yes. Where did you think you were going to sleep? You can't get up and down the stairs just yet." She looked around the room and displayed the bed and workout area with her hand as if they were prizes on a game show. "I think we did pretty damn good getting all this together in the short amount of time we had. You better not complain."

He settled back into the gurney and nodded his acceptance. He'd been so preoccupied with the idea of being in his own bed that he hadn't really thought through how he was going to accomplish that everyday. He looked at Mary apologetically, "You're right. I'm sorry. It looks great. It'll be perfect."

She could see the disappointment on him as she scanned the others faces, they all saw it. She came up and put a hand on the gurney, "It's only temporary, Steve, just until you get settled."

He nodded and smiled for her but couldn't help but glance over in the direction of the stairs that led up to his bedroom. It would be a long time before he would see it again. The new wheelchair that was purchased for him sat in the corner as well, only adding to the vastness between him and the luxury of moving about freely. It was surreal to see it in his home and even more so that it was his.

"It's top of the line stuff here," Danny assured him, patting the mattress on the bed that had fresh linens and the comforter from his bed upstairs laid over it. "The mattress is one of those kind that form to your body, so I bet it beats those hospital beds."

"And the workout bench," Chin added, "has all the accessories you need to keep your upper body strong."

"That looks sturdy, I'm sure I'll get some good workouts on that. Thank you." He looked to each person, "Thanks you guys, I know you had to scramble to make this happen. I really appreciate it."

"Well then," Mary said, "let's get you in your new digs and settled."

The two attendees stood on either side of him and lowered the gurney so it was the same height as his bed.

"We're going to do the same thing we did when we took you out of the other bed," one of the men explained. "Just relax and let us do the lifting."

Steve picked up his left hand with his right and laid it across his chest, holding it in place with his good arm. He laid his head back and closed his eyes, hating having to be treated like a child. He felt his body being lifted and then the gentle thud as they set him down on the new bed. It dawned on him then that there was no one there to care for him like in the hospital.

He opened his eyes again and looked at Mary, "I thought you were going to hire a nurse or something like that?"

"We are," she replied.

"We thought maybe you would want to be a part of the process," Danny said.

"So in the meantime," Mary smiled brightly, "you can just call me Nurse Mary."

He watched as the attendees secured his catheter bag to the side of the bed, cringing over Mary having to deal with that, any of them.

"I think we should get someone in here soon," Steve said.

"We have a couple of people coming over today as a matter of fact," Danny announced. He went over to the desk and picked up a folder, looking at the names on it. "Mark Goup and Tyler Hyde."

Steve nodded, glad that it was men and not women. He didn't like the idea of a woman, not sure why exactly, not having issues with the female nurses at the hospital but it just felt odd having one living in his house and taking care of him that way. He didn't want to be a bother to anyone but if it had to be one or the other, he'd take a male. Some of the intimate details of his recovery would be less humiliating going in that direction.

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Danny flipped the TV off with the remote in his hand at the ringing of the doorbell.

"Ok," he said enthusiastically, clapping his hands together, "here we go. Candidate number one."

He opened the door to a smiling face of a twenty-something year old man with sandy blond hair, dark green eyes and perfectly white teeth, dressed in a white Polo shirt and dark blue jeans. If the bone structure on his face would have been just a little more defined, he might have been entering a photo shoot for GQ, rather than an in-home nursing job.

Danny stuck his hand out to him, "Mark?"

"Yes," he replied returning the gesture with a firm shake. "Danny?"

"Yes. Come on in." He moved out of the way, allowing him to enter the house.

Mark's first line of focus was past the living room and out through the French Doors at the tremendous view of the ocean. He went to comment on it and then saw the bed and Steve staring at him. He forwent the beach significance and decided to make a good first impression instead.

"Commander McGarrett," he said reaching his hand out to him so that Steve's right was within easy reaching distance, knowing of his somewhat paralysis of the left. "It's a pleasure, Sir. Mark Goup." He introduced himself, making sure he gave him a sturdy handshake. He did his homework on his patient and besides reading over the chart the nursing agency had given him, he Googled the man, surprised and shocked over the information he'd found about Lieutenant Commander Steven J. McGarrett.

He needed this job and decide the best way to manipulate the interview wasn't going to be by sprouting off his credentials as an in-home caregiver, or lack of, considering this was only his second patient, the first one having passed away only two weeks in, but by focusing on Steve's credentials. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that Steve's ego was in all probability shattered over the paralysis, so building it up with some sure fire compliments he felt, was going to be his advantage. The man had to have an enormous ego, he thought surely, how could he have not, considering the news articles and Hawaii News Now videos of arrests that he and his partner had made, recognizing Danny as soon as he opened the door. He would stroke both of their egos and win this job over in a heartbeat. He was after all, he thought arrogantly, a master at that.

"I hope I don't sound like I'm trying to kiss your butt, Sir, but it's really a pleasure to meet you," he said to Steve and then looked over at Danny. "Both of you. I've read articles over the past couple of years and seen you on the news of the great things you have done for our island." He focused back on Steve, "It would be a pleasure to be able to hang out with you everyday."

Steve smiled, trying to see past the compliment and determine the sincerity of it or if it was just simply bullshit.

Danny however wasn't buying any of it. "Yea well, you know this is a twenty-four hour a day job. We need someone committed to his care and physical therapy for at least three months. You'll get one day a week off, so we need someone whose willing to take that on."

"I have a degree in Physical Therapy and a Nursing Degree from Oahu's Pacific University. I have no family on the island so there won't be any distractions there and to be honest, after spending so much on school, I could use the room and board."

"Where do you currently live?" Mary asked him, not sure if she liked him or not.

"With three other people that I went to school with," he rolled his eyes, "and to be quite honest, it's as if they are still there if you know what I mean?" He looked at Danny, "It's time to move on and grow up. I'm ready for that. I know I may not have the years of experience you are looking for, but I'll be committed to this job and by the look of that state of the art workout area," he glanced back over at Steve with a grin, "you're committed too, and I want to be a part of the healing process that will get you back on your feet, Sir."

"I may not never get back on my feet," he said grimly.

"Never say never," Mark replied. "Never say never."

Danny looked over at Chin and Kono for their opinion on the man. Kono nodded, while Chin shrugged basically saying he could go either way. He then looked at Mary who had been relatively quiet so far, which had surprised him. She had her focus on the young man as if studying him, finally speaking up.

"What brought you to Hawaii?" she asked. "Where are you from?"

He looked over at her, wondering who she was but by the intent look on her face he decided she was judging him, perhaps the girlfriend, wondering if she lived there as well, hoping not. He'd love to have rein over this place. "Seattle," he said. "I grew up there. I came to Hawaii on vacation with my family when I was fifteen and that did it for me. I worked and saved and decided this is where I wanted to go to school and live. I love it here."

"I lived in Seattle," she said. "What part of Seattle did you live in?"

Right away he could sense she had been sizing him up with her silence. "I lived just outside, in Kent. Both my parents worked for Microsoft. I have a little sister who kept up with tradition but I had to get out. Not that I don't get along with my family, it's just that I felt the need to move on and find something for myself that makes me feel complete inside," he gave her one of his most sincere, dashing smiles, "and this is it, caring for people." He glanced down at Steve, "I wish I had the bravery that you do in the capacity that you care for people, but I don't, so instead I get to help heal good people like yourself."

Danny looked over at Chin and they both rolled their eyes.

"That sounds like you Mary," Steve teased her, warming up to him. He had the mindset of Mary, which made him begin to trust him. He liked the idea of that, it gave him a sense of comfort; a male version of her who had found their calling early, unlike Mary who was still searching for hers.

"My little sister Mary here has always had a wandering spirit," he winked at her. "I admire that about her."

Mark looked over at her and smiled, sister he thought, pleased over that, assuming she didn't live with him them. "Do you live on the island, Mary?"

"No. Well," she corrected herself, "I kinda do now. I'm here to make sure Steve gets the care he needs."

"And then she's going back to her life," Steve blurted out. "I love you, Sis, but I know you have a job and people to get home to."

She gave him a look as if telling him to shut it. "Don't worry about me."

Steve laughed, "Impossible."

"Now you sound like me," Mark replied. "You can't help but worry about them. I talk to my little sister at least once a week," he lied. "Sometimes more if she needs advice."

"And does she ever take it?" Steve asked.

"Not as much as I'd like," Mark huffed.

"Mine either," Steve said, glancing at Mary with a raised eyebrow.

"What?!" she scoffed. "Is this his interview or my intervention?"

"Sorry, Sis."

"We can't help it," Mark said, "It's in our blood."

"Well," Danny stepped in, wanting to move things along before the other candidate arrived, "we have a couple more people to interview and we've looked over your credentials and physically as well as medically you can do the job, but what about being available twenty-four hours a day? Is that something you're up for?"

"Absolutely," Mark replied with a firm expression.

"It includes room and meals which you have to prepare for yourself and for Steve. You'll be given a budget to buy food, but most importantly it involves keeping him healthy and active."

Mark looked at Steve and nodded, "I understood. I feel I'm the right person for this job, Steve. We'll work well together. By the looks of you, you aren't inexperienced around workout equipment."

"I used to swim a lot."

"In time," Mary said, touching his arm, knowing how much he missed the water, but for right now it was impossible.

"I'll get you there," Mark assured him, stretching his hand out to him. "Never say never."

Steve accepted the gesture as they shook.

"Ok then," Danny said, clasping his hands together, "thank you for coming by Mark, we'll be in touch and let you know what we decide."

Mark turned on his heal away from the bed and faced the others in the room, "Ok, thank you so much everyone for your time. I'll be looking forward to hearing from you."

Danny held the door open for him as he left and then closed it.

"Did anyone else get the feeling he was trying just a little too hard?"

"I liked him," Steve said.

"Why?" Danny asked, surprised over that.

"I don't know, he just seemed motivated and personality wise he seemed easy to talk to."

Danny glanced over at Mary, "What do you think?"

"He was all right I guess. He seems responsible and capable."

"We need someone whose going to push you and God knows there are only a handful of people who can do that. I'm not so sure this is our guy."

"I need someone I can get along with," Steve replied. "That alone will motivate me more than anything else."

Danny wasn't so sure about that but didn't argue the point with him. In the end he was the one that had power over who they hired but he also felt it was Steve's decision as much as his own, assuming foolishly that they would be on the same page, but after the first interview they clearly were not.

"I agree with Danny, Boss." Kono said. "You need someone to push you. Maybe we can hire an ex Navy guy," she joked. "I'm sure we could dig up one of your old recruits for the job."

Steve chuckled over that, "Are you trying to kill me Kono? No military." He looked over at Danny giving him the stink eye, "No military! They'll kill me the first week."

Danny raised his eyebrows contemplating that idea, "Hmmm, this could be a very good opportunity for me to show YOU what it's like working for YOU!"

"Mary's my beneficiary, so if you're looking…" his joke was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Round two," Danny said, walking over to it.

He read the name off the folder that was lying by the front door. "Tyler Hyde." But when he opened it, it wasn't the person he was expecting.

"Aloha," Tyler said, smiling at him.

"Tyler Hyde?" Danny questioned the attractive young woman. Her light blue eyes blinked at him in question over the tone of his questioning of her presence, and then she understood.

"Yes," she replied, "by the look on your face you were expecting a man, right? I get that a lot."

"No!" he quickly denied, "uh, c'mon in." He already knew the fate of this one was sealed. Steve didn't want a woman caring for him.

She wished now she would have stopped and bought a clean shirt, or not stopped at all at the coffee place, hoping no one noticed the stain from having to slam on her brakes, but it was what it was and here she was, not giving it another thought.

She brushed back her sun blond locks, gathering it up in a bunch and then pulled a black hair tie that was around her wrist off with her teeth, wrapping it around the pile on her head and secured it in place. It wasn't neatly done but achieved its purpose. It was a move Danny thought that she had done many times over on a daily basis, because she didn't miss a strand nor a beat as she stepped across the threshold and then halted, taken back by the many faces in the room.

"Wow! I wasn't expecting an audience." She looked at each one, her focus ending with the man in the bed.

First impressions were important to her, and her first impression of him was youth. He looked so much younger than she had anticipated.

She had studied his file, recalling his height and weight but thirty-four somehow seemed old to her twenty-six years. She regretted now only honing in on the important aspects of his injury; her mind had been racing with the possibilities of where to begin with his physical therapy to get him up and mobile again. He'd be timid at first she thought for sure, but now as she stood before him, she wasn't so sure that was true. He didn't look timid; on the contrary, he looked intimidating. But that didn't bother her either; she wasn't one to be easily intimidated by anyone. Her upbringing had shut the door on that attribute.

He was one thing fore sure though, she thought clearly, really good looking, but in the sense that it was obvious to anyone that met him, it wasn't a question of whether or not you thought he was, he was.

Steve's first impression wasn't disappointment over it being a woman but of wonderment of why the agency they were working with would even send her here, or anywhere for that matter.

She was about an inch or two shorter than Danny and looked to be no older than Mary, not sure how she could manage lifting him, but even more so than that her unprofessional attire for the interview compared to Mark was the complete opposite. He was sure that if he asked where she had just come from, that she would have undoubtedly admitted, the beach. Her rich, dark Hawaiian tan complete with the signature Hawaiian black slippers that sold for $5.99 at the ABC store gave her away that she spent a lot of time on the sand. Her baggy green board shorts looked freshly purchased, probably for the interview he thought, and the tank top she had on had a coffee stain on it. To say the least he wasn't impressed by her appearance. He pictured his house trashed with liter with her living there.

He looked past her to Danny, who shrugged as if telling him he was just as surprised she was a woman. They hadn't actually requested all male candidates, but when the names Mark and Tyler appeared on the files, they just assumed they were.

"So Tyler," Danny said, motioning for her to step more inside the house so he could close the door. "I take it you have an idea of what the job demands?"

"Yes," she said, looking over her shoulder at him, ignoring the others who just stared at her. "I think getting him up and moving is first and foremost."

"Steve," Steve said to her, pointing at his chest already taking a disliking over the fact that she spoke as if he were not even there. "My name is Steve not 'him'. I am here in the same room and I was shot in the back not in the head, my hearing is still pretty good so you can address me on the contents of my recuperation." He smiled curtly at her, "And oh by the way, nice to meet you."

She raised an eyebrow at him over his sarcasm, glancing over her shoulder at Danny, whispering under her breath, but loud enough for most to hear. "He's a little uptight and bitter I'd say."

Danny let out a surprised chuckle over that, taking an instant liking to her. She said what was on her mind, unlike Mark who said what everyone else wanted to hear. He shot a look over to Mary who was trying to hide her smile as well.

"What was that?" Steve asked, leaning his head to the side as if trying to get a better hearing position.

"I was just saying that I think you are a little uptight and bitter about your situation, because I just got here and you're already hostile and you don't even know me."

Danny's eyes got big and he took a step back as if wanting to get out of the line of fire between the two of them. She was definitely one that spoke her mind. He liked her more and more as the tension in the room grew.

"Who are you?" Steve said appalled, not directing it as a question but more as a statement, and that's exactly how Tyler had perceived it.

She walked toward the bed, keeping eye contact with him, studying his eyes that she had learned over time told the truth about a person no matter how skilled they thought they were at hiding the truth. His were stone cold as they narrowed in to an angry scowl as she approached him.

"Who are you?" she asked him, softening her tone. "I bet you ask yourself that question everyday since you woke up from the shooting."

And there it was, she thought sadly, that split second look that changed in his eyes. She didn't have to guess at what she had witnessed, she saw the fear, knowing full well he felt it too. She'd seen it before on men and women at the hospital in his condition; it was unsettling for such a strong, vibrant man.

He felt the impact of her words ripple through him to the core, feeling the hair on the back of his neck rise up as the tingling moved down his spine and out through his fingers, even surprisingly on his left hand that was just coming back to life. It moved around the front of his body and out through his eyes that bore into her with a hate over the humiliation that she mercilessly caused him, arrogantly assuming he was immune to it in his own home. She proved to him that it was going to follow him everywhere.

He hated her already, wanting her out of his house, but he couldn't form the words; too stunned over hers, trying desperately not to let on that she had not only wounded him but had figured him out all in a matter of seconds.

"I can help you," she said to him. "I know the type of diet you should be eating and I understand the various degrees of exercise that will strength muscles in your body that you didn't even know existed. I saw a surfboard outside when I came in. You love the water. You have the muscle tone of a swimmer. I can put you back in the water again. I know I can help you."

Danny's ear's piped up, hearing exactly what he was hoping for today. She didn't play a part like he felt Mark did, stroking Steve's ego by using his job and credentials as a platform. Tyler he felt was true to her words. He wasn't even sure if she knew Steve was a cop or his many qualifications. If she did, it didn't matter to her. She seemed excited and enthusiastic about her role, which in turn excited him.

"Where did you go to school?" Mary asked, trying to move the interview along because she was sure that at any second her brother's head was going to explode.

"Pacific University," Tyler replied, speaking to Mary but her eyes stayed focused on the man, refusing to waiver under the intense one-sided silent war that battled between them.

"Do you know a guy named Mark Goup?" Danny asked.

She turned her head at that, knowing he had already interviewed or was going to. Otherwise how would they have known who he was? They certainly weren't acquaintances, she was sure of that. "Yes, I do know, Mark. We had a couple of classes together."

"He seems to be a pretty stand up guy," Danny said, exaggerating the description, hoping to get a truthful reaction out of her, and did.

She smiled over those choice of words defining Mark, having to bite her bottom lip to keep from laughing, knowing full well that he was not a stand up guy, he was a tool in her opinion, but she wasn't about to say that, it was after all just her opinion. "Yes, I guess so. I don't know him very well."

Her first initial reaction about Mark, Danny was assured, if spoken into words would have been lengthy and not all flattering, but it impressed him that she said nothing about at all, keeping her cool when she could have used it to her advantage in the interview to up her chances for the job, but didn't, which proved she had integrity.

He looked to Steve who was close to blowing a gasket in the five minutes that Tyler had been there. His pursed lips where almost as white as his knuckles from clenching his right hand into a fist, trying to hold back what Danny was sure was a variety of choice words that he wanted to say to her.

"Um," Mary mumbled, trying desperately to come up with just one of the questions that she had lined up for the interviews, searching through the papers on the coffee table for her handwritten list. She glanced up at her brother, wanting to tell him to chill out but his unwavering, infuriated stare was fixated on the girl. She looked across at Tyler and was pleasantly surprised by her expression, she seemed to be amused by his anger, not threatened or intimidated at all, that impressed her. Not many people could get a look like that from Steve McGarrett and live to tell about it, Mary thought amusingly.

"Where are you from?" she asked her, sensing a North Shore girl. They seemed to grow them tougher up there.

Tyler looked over at her, "Waialua."

Mary smiled, her assumption correct. "Native born?"

Tyler nodded.

She looked back at Steve, motioning to he and Mary. "Are you two relatives, girlfriend maybe?"

"Sister," Steve replied dryly, a slight growl to his voice. He finally looked away from Tyler to Mary.

Mary could read the signs without him having to spell it out. ' _Get rid of her'_ is what he was saying loud and clear. She replied with an annoyed expression, looking across the room at Danny, who rolled his eyes sensing her frustration.

"Well, thank you for coming by," Danny sighed. "We'll be in touch."

Tyler knew right then she was not even in the running for the job. She looked back at Steve, not feeling sorry for him, but worried. "I'm sorry this happened to you. It wasn't fair, it never is. I hope you find someone who understands that and treats this as a mission and not just a job. I would have liked that task, but I know it's not meant to be." She smiled at him as she backed away. "It was nice meeting you. I wish you all the luck in the world in your recovery, Steve."

He hated that he couldn't rattle her back. He also hated more than anything else that she was one of very few people in his life that intimidated the hell out of him. Yes, to put it mildly, he didn't like her.

He also couldn't deny though that post gunshot; he would have admired the hell out of her.

Danny shook her hand as he held the door open for her, stepping out on the porch with her. "I feel like I need to apologize for Steve," he said to her.

Tyler turned to him, surprised over that. "Why? He has every right to feel what he's feeling right now. He's pissed, he's frustrated and by the look on your face when I got here, he doesn't want a woman caring for him or washing him up and feeding him. He sees me as another threat, but that's only because he's scared too. He's young," she looked back through the window as he stared at the two of them talking, "and I bet he's never had anyone take care of him before in his entire life." She looked back at Danny firmly, "Don't let that change. Make him work for it now or he never will."

He put his hand out to her again. "Thank you for the advice, I'll do that. I wish it was you, but I know Steve like a brother and you're right, he doesn't want a woman caring for him like that. It's too bad, I like your style."

"Good luck," she smiled, giving Steve one as well through the window as she turned and walked toward her car.

' _Good riddance_ ,' he thought stubbornly.

Danny came in and closed the door. "I like her," he blurted out, knowing it was going to cause controversy but didn't care. He wanted his opinion stated for the record, knowing without a doubt that Mark was going to be the chosen one.

Steve's attitude was already hostile from the encounter with Tyler, the fact that Danny sided with her just made it more so. "What?! You can't be serious? What could you possibly like about her?"

"She's already got a plan. I like THAT about her."

Steve huffed, "Whatever. Do you have any others coming over?"

"Not today, no," Mary said. "We just set up those two for now and…"

"Ok then, we go with Mark. I like him," Steve said adamantly.

"Why don't we get a couple more people just to get a variety?" Mary suggested.

"No, its Mark," Steve said, refusing to waiver. He felt comfortable with him.

Mary sighed heavily and looked over at Danny, "What do you think?"

"I told you," Steve said again, "I like Mark. We're going with him."

"Ok!" Mary snapped. "We heard you, but Danny's ultimately the decision maker here. He's in charge of the funds for your care."

Steve knew that but never thought in a million years it would come into play. He shot Danny a look telling him so.

"Calm down," Danny said, expressing it with his raised hands as well. "Don't get all aneurism face on me."

"You're not going to fight me on this are you?" Steve asked; the tense look in his eyes also showed a hint of pleading, needing to have some kind of control over his life and this was a start.

Danny shook his head no, even though he was going against his better judgment, he felt in the end it really was Steve's call. "If you want Mark, then that's who I'll hire."

Steve's posture relaxed, "Ok, good. That's who I want."

He felt for the first time in a long time that things were only going to get better from here on out. It was a good feeling. He was home, safe from intimidation and threats beyond the walls of his own personal sanctuary. Here he could really relax and begin his recovery. There would be no more nightmares or the terrifying feeling that Pokie was lurking nearby. Here, in this place, he was in charge. No one would ever take advantage of him again, or so he thought.


	5. Chapter 5

Steve lied awake hearing the creaking of the bed upstairs in the spare room.

Mark had another girl over.

The ritual began not long after Steve had insisted that Mary go home. She had done all she could for him and he was appreciative of it, renewing their bond that they had once shared as kids, but watching her piddle around the house when there was really nothing for her to do, was driving him just as crazy as it was her.

He wasn't angry or bitter over Mark's secretive liaisons, but in a way, envious. He never flaunted the string of women in front of him. They came and went in the middle of the night, or left in the early morning, quietly creeping down the steps and past his bed as he pretended to sleep.

Why shouldn't he get laid he thought? Listening to the sounds of what it was like to be a man. Mark was young and had the opportunity, wishing now he would have taken advantage of such opportunities when he still had the chance. He'd only been with a handful of different women in his life, but the opportunities had been there he thought arrogantly, recalling on at least three separate occasions when he could have easily had a one night stand, but took the high road instead.

The sounds upstairs increased in intensity and he sighed, cursing himself for letting those opportunities go by.

He tried to block out the sound by staring out the living room window, scarcely able to see the outline in the darkness of the Ko'olau Mountain range in the distance. He closed his eyes, picturing himself running up the trail to the top, seeing the path ahead of him he'd taken easily over a hundred times. He could have done it in the dark he knew it so well.

His eyes came open, hearing the bedroom door open and then the sound of footsteps overhead and the bathroom light come on and the door close.

He didn't need anything, Mark had been doing his job, not outstandingly, Steve thought, but he did what he was supposed to do. He was fed three times a day, he helped him get out of bed at least once a day, well in the beginning he did, but sometimes he didn't want to get up. It was a lot of hassle and painful to get in the chair and go outside for a few minutes just to get bored and come back inside. It was the same with the workouts. What began as a daily regiment slowly but surely over the past four weeks dwindled to every other day, and now they were currently down to one, maybe two times a week. It was too painful and taking the medication afterward to ward off the pain from the exercising made him nauseous, and not only that, the doctor stopped prescribing them all together, suggesting Ibuprofen instead, which didn't work as well, so the solution was to not workout.

He didn't need any extra pain on top of the emotional one that he lived with twenty-four hours a day. It wasn't a physical discomfort from the injury that surrounded him now. That pain had settled into an existence that was now masked by depression; a dreadful emotion in which he learned to hide when necessary.

And he did it well when Danny was around. Why burden him with unnecessary details, knowing how busy he was at work and not wanting to take what little time he had away from Gracie to deal with his shit. He missed his companionship though, missed it a lot. He missed the everyday routine of going to work and the excitement of his job, remembering how sometimes he wanted to quit and like millions of other people dreamt of winning the lottery someday so he could quit. But at this moment, he would do almost anything to be able to get up, get in the shower and drive to that same job and spend the day and sometimes even the night chasing down leads.

He grunted at the ole' cliché, ' _you never know what you have until it's gone'_. He never realized how much he really loved his job until it was taken from him. It was his life. It fed him, clothed him and even nurtured him both physically and emotionally. He was lucky to be around people everyday that cared for him and that he cared for. They were his family in every sense of the word and he'd lay down his life for any one of them, and they had proven to do the same for him. The past couple of weeks though he'd shunned them all except for Danny, he just couldn't seem to get a distance from him, not that he wanted one, from any of them, but he hated the mercy visits and the struggle to keep the conversation going as they tried to talk about anything and everything except what would remind him of his old life.

He began to make excuses for the scheduled visits claiming that he was too tired, or that he had a doctor's appointment or whatever else excuse he could think of. His everyday life had become absorbed in books. It gave him a chance to escape reality for a while. His favorite genera so far were mystery novels, loving the clues and trying to decipher the end before getting there. He glanced at the book on the table next to the bed liking the one he was reading so far, wanting to pick it up but not wanting Mark to know that he knew of his little escapade upstairs. Why should he ruin it for him? He had the opportunity he thought again, but this time he didn't think about the one night stands that he had let get away, instead he thought of the relationships that he should have tried harder at, perhaps then he wouldn't feel so lonely as he did at that moment. Maybe it would be a wife caring for him instead of a twenty something year old guy that was paid and used his house as a front to get laid as often as possible.

He looked out the window again as the mountain range in the distance began to form color in the morning sunrise. He watched as the familiar crevices along the slopes began to take form in the faint light. The sheer beauty of it used to be inspiring to him. He felt a tightening in his chest that rose up to his throat and squeezed around his neck feeling himself slipping into that abyss that was so unbelievably difficult to climb out of, looking away from the beautiful scenery and back up the stairs to the spare bedroom, wishing she'd get the fuck out so he could read.

Just then the door opened again and he heard whispering and two sets of feet coming down the stairs as he turned his head to the side and closed his eyes.

He waited until they were outside before he opened them, seeing Mark and the young woman standing outside, kissing goodbye. He recognized her from someone that had been there before, last Wednesday perhaps, or was it Thursday? He tried to recall which one, and then had to take a second to remember what day it presently was. Time didn't really matter to him anymore, now he based his time on night and day. The days were filled with ways to occupy his boredom while he waited for the next transition, and then the night was filled with ways not to feel anything. It had become a vicious circle that was now his day-to-day life.

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The microwave went off and Mark pulled out the hot food, yelping as he let it drop on the counter, shaking the burning sensation away from his fingers.

He carefully peeled away the plastic seal as steam poured off of the ready-made meal. He slid the entire container onto the tray, not even bothering anymore by removing the contents and arranging them on a plate for Steve. What was the point, he thought, one more dish to clean, still amazed that there was no dishwasher in the house.

He set a glass of non-fat milk next to it and carried the tray out to the family room.

"Hungry?" he asked Steve, whose attention was absorbed in the book that was resting on the pillow in his lap.

He looked up momentarily and then back down, finding his spot again. "Yea, just leave it there, thanks."

Mark set it down. "I'll be out back, just yell if you need me."

"Ok," Steve replied, not looking up.

"I thought maybe we'd get a workout in tonight after dinner," he suggested, doing his duty but knew Steve would decline. He had been engrossed in the book most of the day.

"Um…" he contemplated that idea, feeling like he should but then again after dinner he always felt drowsy, not wanting to commit and then regretting it later, plus the book he was reading was just getting to a good part. "Let's play it by ear, ok?"

Mark smiled and nodded, knowing that was a no. "Alright sounds good." He walked away with a wide grin, knowing he had the night off, thinking of the girl he was going to call to see if she were free. Maybe he could actually get out for a couple of hours.

Steve finished the chapter and closed the book, setting it aside. He moved the portable table over in front of him with the tray on it and picked up the fork. He began pushing around the piece of meat that was supposed to be the main course, sticking his fork in it and lifting it up, revealing the pile of red potatoes beneath it.

' _At least he bought the expensive high-end dinners_ ," he thought to himself. Not that he really knew the difference between them, but he knew these were more expensive brands by TV Commercials. He'd never ate "TV Dinners" before, except maybe here and there when he was at a friend's house growing up. The ones he'd been eating now reminded him of a step up from the Officer rations he used to get in the Navy.

He sliced into the meat with the fork and took a bite, glad that at least he could cut it with one hand. His left was still out of commission so using a knife was out of the question. He didn't want to complain to Mark about the prepared meals that were becoming the norm over the past week. He hated the fact that he had to be cared for to begin with, not wanting to make it worse by whining about the modifications too, or that he didn't sit in the room with him as much anymore either. He was content with his books and actually liked being left alone. He muddled through the occasional visitor, and Danny's every other day arrival, but even then he wished the entire time they were there that they would just leave.

He finished the main course on the tray and took a couple more bites of the steamed broccoli, forgoing it and cutting the chocolate cake in the desert compartment in half, finishing it off in two bites along with the glass of milk.

He quietly belched and made a face trying to decide if he would at least complain about not wanting that particular kind ever again. It was really salty and knew he'd be thirsty later on. Maybe he'd mention it tomorrow he decided, reaching over and placing the pillow and book back on his lap.

He glanced outside at the Ko'olau Mountains as the sun began to go down, feeling his spirit pulling him in that direction, wishing more than anything he could go for a run up there.

He turned away before the reality of his life could get the better of him and opened the book to the new chapter. His thoughts recalling the last chapter, getting his emotions back on track. Within a matter of seconds the run was forgotten as he settled in for the night with his artificial reality.

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The next morning Danny pulled up to the house and parked, staring at it through the windshield. He could see the hospital bed from the window and Steve's face planted in a book. He felt a flash of guilt over being one of the culprits of his demise by supplying him with books on a regular basis, now he regretted it so much that it angered him. He let him down, even though Steve didn't see it that way or even recognized the failure, Danny saw it clear as day, or as clear as the photo that had so blatantly shown him the letdown.

He pulled his phone up again and brought up the picture of he and Steve with Gracie three months earlier and one month before the shooting. He stared at the man with his arm around his little girl, his face displaying that signature smile that he'd seen first hand turn a woman to mush. The tattoos on his arms taught from the muscle tone that was obvious over his entire body, even with a shirt on.

He looked from the photo to the same man laying in the bed across the yard and felt his eyes fill with tears over his part in Steve's downfall. He had failed him miserably and knew it. It was something he'd have to live with for the rest of his life, but today, this day he was going to make amends for it, knowing it was not going to come easy or without a fight, but he loved his best friend enough to fight for his life.

"Enough is enough," he said blowing out a breath and wiping his hands over his face. "Ok, let's do this."

Steve saw movement out of the corner of his eye and looked out the window seeing Danny walking up the path to the house.

"Ah shit," he mumbled, marking the page in his book before regrettably closing it. He was engrossed in a good chapter, his mind racing with possible directions the author might take and his own theories of who done it. Danny disappointedly threw him back into reality as he set the book on the table and used his right hand to push himself up in the bed as he came through the door.

"Hey," he said to him.

Danny hesitated with his hand still on the doorknob as he looked at him, recalling the picture of Steve then and feeling a little sick to his stomach over seeing the Steve now, asking himself how in the hell he hadn't seen it sooner.

"Hey." He came in and closed the door. "Where's Mark?"

"I don't know. He was here a couple of minutes ago. I think he's out back."

Danny walked to the edge of the living room where the kitchen began and stretched his neck looking out the back window and seeing Mark on one of the Adirondack chairs talking on the phone; a cup of coffee sitting next to it. He casually reached over the side and picked it up taking a drink.

"I'm not interrupting a workout am I?" Danny asked, wondering if there was going to be one at all that day, or if there had been one in the past week.

"No, my back is a little sore this morning, we're taking the day off," Steve lied. The truth was he didn't bring it up at breakfast and neither did Mark; each of them waiting for the other to mention it and if it never was, well then…it never was. It was an easy and painless way to forgo what Steve was beginning to think a waste of time.

"What's up?" Steve asked, rubbing his palm over the two-day stubble on his face.

Danny didn't reply as he sat down on the couch just staring at him.

"What's wrong?" he asked again, puzzled over his odd behavior.

"When was the last time you got out of bed?" Danny asked him.

"This morning," he lied again. "I went out back and …"

"You're lying," Danny blurted out, his expression was firm, keeping his eyes fixated on Steve.

"What?"

He motioned to the wheelchair in the corner. "I was over here Tuesday and that same bag was sitting on the wheelchair that is there now. It hasn't been moved."

"So what?" Steve huffed, "You know how hard it is to get up and go outside for what, fifteen minutes? It's a pain in the ass."

Danny got up and walked to the foot of bed and flipped the blanket up, exposing his legs.

"What are you doing?!" Steve asked angrily, flipping the blanket back over.

Danny removed it again, taking a hold of Steve's right foot with one hand and sliding his hand under his calf with the other, lifting it several inches off the bad. He didn't need to look to already know of the deterioration; he could feel the dry chapped skin in the palm of his hand under his calf. He bent over and looked at the damage, wincing over it.

Steve reached down and shoved him on the shoulder, "Get off me!"

He stumbled slightly back, dropping his leg as a result, but was too stunned to even react to the anger as Steve whipped the blanket back over his legs. "What's your problem man?! Why did you come over here today, just to give me shit?!"

Danny backed away from the bed shaking his head in disbelief over the person he barely recognized, "I'm sorry, Steve," he replied barely above a whisper. "I'm so sorry."

He looked at the distraught expression on his friend's face, actually feeling sorry for him. "It's ok Danny," forgiving him for the physical intrusion of his body. "Just don't do that again."

"No," Danny said to him, "I'm not sorry for that. I'm sorry for not recognizing what's been happening here." He shook his head, wiping his hand over his mouth as those tears of guilt and frustration began to build again.

Steve understood now what he was saying. "Hey, Danny," he said passively, "It's ok. I'm doing ok, really." He tried to sound positive but knew as the words came out that they were not believed, not by a long shot.

Danny slowly walked backward away from him, "It's my fault," he said somberly, closing his eyes as he took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, regaining his composure for what he had to do next. He opened them again and Steve watched as his expression changed from sadness and worry to anger.

"Mark!" Danny called out at the top of his lungs. "Mark!" he shouted again, looking over his shoulder to the outside, seeing him get up from the lawn chair and slip his phone in his pocket as he came toward the house.

"What are you doing?" Steve asked nervously.

Danny didn't reply as the anger in his eyes grew to a steady coldness as he turned to the backdoor.

"Hey, Danny," Mark said as he came inside and slammed the door shut behind him. "How's it going? I was just taking a break."

Danny had to restrain himself from walking over and knocking him out with one punch. "You're fired!"

Mark stopped in his tracks, stunned as his eyes quickly darted over to Steve whose expression was just as dumbfounded.

"What?!" they both replied simultaneously.

"You're fired!" he said again. "Get your shit together and get out!"

"I don't understand."

"Danny!" Steve yelled. "What are you…"

Danny put his hand up toward the bed, "You've got no say in this Steve." He looked back at Mark who just stood there perplexed. "Did I stutter?! Go upstairs and get your stuff together and get out, now! You're fired!"

"What did I do?" Mark asked in a panic, his eyes darting back and forth between the two men. "What did I do?" he asked again innocently.

Danny took a step toward him. "If you ask that question one more time, I'm going to hit you."

Mark's face expressed the horror over that threat as he stepped back away from it.

"Danny!" Steve yelled. "What the fuck!"

"You want a reason?" Danny yelled, "Ok, let's start with using Steve's house as a brothel. I know what's been going on. Second! You don't know dick about taking care of anyone you selfish little prick! You haven't done one thing to aid in his recovery, nothing!" His face turned red as his temper flared. "I blame myself for not taking more of an initiative here and I regret that! But I blame you for letting him lie there day after day and doing nothing to help! No more! I'm taking charge and my first order of business is getting rid of you."

Mark never said another word, knowing he had screwed up good this time. He looked at Steve who just stared at Danny with the same kind of intense anger that Danny was focusing on him. He was about to use that anger and plead with Steve for his job, but thought against it, not so sure if Danny's physical warning to hit him was a play on words or an actual threat, and he didn't want to find out. "Fine!" he mumbled. "I'm outta here."

Danny followed him up the stairs, not trusting him for a second. It took all of about fifteen minutes for him to gather his things and load them into his car.

As he backed out the driveway he waved goodbye to Danny with his middle finger.

"Dick," Danny mumbled as he walked back to the house.

As he came inside he barely saw the hardcover book that came hurdling across the room, just missing his head as it slammed against the wall behind him.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" Steve blasted him.

Danny pushed on the door, closing it. He didn't react one way or another to the tantrum, walking over to the couch and sitting on the arm.

"Do you know," he began calmly, "that you are about three or four days away from getting bedsores because you lay there all day and do nothing. You're joints are probably frozen because I'm sure they haven't been worked on for over a week. When was the last time he bathed you? You look like shit."

Steve's face contorted to an angry scowl, "You've been coming over here for over a month and now all of a sudden I look like shit! You're so full of it! You don't even know what you're saying. You never liked him. You were just looking for any excuse to get rid of him and you know it! I'm doing fine!"

Danny came off the couch in a fury, fed up with his denial. He went to a decorative mirror on the wall and pulled it off. "Doing fine huh," he said between gritted teeth as he took his phone out of his pocket and brought up the picture, holding it in front of his face. "Remember this?"

Steve leaned his head back into the pillow getting a better look at the photo, "Yes, that was Gracie's award ceremony for cheer. So what?"

"Take a good look at yourself Steve. A good look!"

He glanced back at the photo remembering better times like that one. "Yea so?"

Danny pulled the phone away and replaced it with the mirror, "Now take a look at you."

Steve's angry expression faded as he stared at the stranger in the mirror, compared to the picture they did look like two completely different men. He hadn't seen himself in a while cringing over the reflection as he batted it away with his right hand.

"Squeeze your left hand into a fist." Danny ordered.

"What?"

"Do it! If you can squeeze your left hand into a fist, I'll call Mark back and apologize to him."

Steve looked away from him out the window, knowing he wasn't able to perform that task. "Why are you doing this to me Danny?"

Tempers calmed as sat down on the edge of the bed, "Because you're my partner and it's my job to have your back, because you're my best friend and I care about you. Because you're like a brother to me and I love you like one." His voice became firm again, needing to keep the upper hand with him. "When you left the hospital over a month ago you could make a fist with your left hand." he reached over and lifted it at the wrist, holding it up about six inches and then let it drop. "Now you can't even move it. You should be able to use that hand by now."

Steve turned his head just slightly in his direction, acknowledging him. "I don't like being taken care of," his voice calm, sounding dangerously close to depressing.

"I know, but it's something you have to face and deal with Steve."

He looked back over at him as a terrifying thought crossed his mind. "You aren't sending me back to that rehab place, are you, Danny?"

"God no!" Danny replied a little irritated that he would even think that. "I'm not punishing you Steve. But we did it your way and it didn't work, so now we're going to do it mine."

He looked puzzled, "What do you mean?"

"I hired Tyler. She'll be in here in about an hour."

"Tyler?" he asked, not recalling the name. "Tyler who?  
"The other nurse we interviewed. Tyler Hyde."

"The woman?!" He shook his head adamantly. "No way! I don't want a woman looking after me, especially her!"

"She's certified. I checked her out. She's worked up at Queen's with the disabled and at a couple of different rehab centers and volunteered at nursing homes caring for paraplegics and older people who've had strokes and become incapacitated. She's perfect."

"Danny please," he begged.

"It's either this or the rehab place. You chose?" Hoping he'd just cave because there was no way in hell he would ever take him back to that place, and this was his only backup for the moment.

Steve looked stubbornly back out the window away from him, "Fine! Whatever!"

Danny shook his head as if confused. "Don't you want to get better? It just blows my mind that you can just lay there all day and do nothing. I mean YOU of all people, you're borderline insane with your health and fitness and now all of a sudden it's as if that life never existed. Don't you want to get better?"

"What does that even mean," he said somberly, staring at his mountains. "If this is as good as it's going to get, then what's the point."

"You don't know that."

He looked back over at him. "If I do the operation and take that risk then I could lose everything! No hands, no nothing! I couldn't even breathe on my own." He looked back out the window, "This is bad enough. If it were the other then I'd rather just die and be done with it."

Danny was at a loss, having utilized all his clever tricks and speeches to dig down and find the man that he used to know. He was still nowhere to be found. "I don't know what else to tell you, Steve. It kills me though to watch you just give up like this."

"Then don't," he replied, staring out the window. "You don't have to come over here all the time you know. I know it's a pain in the ass and you really don't want to, so don't."

It was strange to him the impact that that statement made. He knew Steve was in trouble, deep, deep trouble, but a part of him wanted to reach over and slug him as hard as he could in the jaw, hoping to knock some sense into him. It worked once before when they had first met, changing their relationship in that one instance to what would become a lifelong friendship, wishing it were that easy once again because he was out answers, having no idea where to go from here, but leaving him behind wasn't an option.

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Danny came outside as Tyler pulled up in the driveway. He was glad for the arrival considering he and Steve had barely said a word in the past hour. He sat on the couch playing a game on his IPhone while Steve read, but he did notice that in the past hour he'd only turned the page twice. He was pretending to read and it made Danny wonder what was going through his head, wishing he'd fill him in.

"Hey," he waved to her as she got out of the tan Honda Civic that looked to be at least ten years old. The body style had changed twice since her model had been released. It had a few dings but other than that it looked cared for.

"Hi," she replied, opening up the backdoor and pulling out a large suitcase.

Danny's walked turned to job as he came up to the car. "Let me get that."

"I got it," she smiled, flipping a handle up.

She wore the same green board shorts she did for the interview and a white T-shirt. Her hair was up in a ponytail this time and her face was void of any makeup, but she had been blessed with flawless skin and along with the dark tan, no artificial enhancing was needed.

"So how did he take the news?" she asked as they both began to make their way to the front door.

"He'll get over it," Danny grinned.

"That well huh," Tyler chuckled, shrugging it off. "I've worked with grumpy old men before, their bark is always worse than their bite."

"Just remember," Danny said, "you're MY employee so he can't fire you."

"I'm pretty sure that's the only reason I'm here right now," she smiled.

She followed Danny through the door ready to make the best of a bad situation by being as pleasant as she could, not wanting to start off on the wrong foot like last time, but all her preparedness was shot to hell once she got a look at him.

His complexion was pale even under the scruff of his beard, and by her best assessment he'd gained close to ten pounds since the last time she'd seen him. The skin around his eyes were puffy indicating his lack of sleep and when she saw his hands she knew the bloating was from way too much salt in his diet. All in all the handsome man she had encountered over a month before was seriously in need of some readjustments.

"What the hell have you been eating?" she blurted out, strictly out of concern. "What did he feed you? You look terrible!"

Steve looked overly irritated from her to Danny and then back to her. "I look like shit?" he replied nastily, looking her up and down, "I got shot, what's your excuse?"

Tyler fought the urge to roll her eyes, not only at him but also at her lack of control from brain to mouth. "Rough upbringing," she answered jokingly but it was close to the truth.

She ignored the deathly glare coming from the bed and pointed to the kitchen speaking to Danny, "Can I get a look in the fridge?"

Danny waved his arm in that direction, "Go ahead, it's all yours." He cringed just a little with her opening statement knowing that was not going to be taken lightly by Steve but her no fear attitude towards him he decided was exactly what Steve needed.

She went in the kitchen, ignoring the ocean view from the window and focused on the dishes in the sink that looked a day old. She went straight to the fridge and opened it.

"What the …" she refrained from voicing the four letter word that was on the tip of her tongue over her frustration. The contents of the fridge looked like what a college kid would have, complete with a variety of condiments, Velveeta cheese, flour tortillas and a jar of salsa. There was a half-gallon of non-fat milk, which she scoured at. She pulled open the meat drawer and saw a package of turkey meat half ripped open, the ends already beginning to dry out and a pound of bacon. The two drawers below, which were for fruits and vegetables, were mostly barren except for a bag of baby carrots and a head of lettuce that ceased to be edible two days before. One egg remained in the holder on the door.

She closed the door and opened the freezer.

"Oh my God!" she groaned, "that lazy fricking asshole!" she mumbled of Mark, seeing at least ten prepared frozen meals stacked on top of one another and a bag of french fries. "No wonder he looks bloated," she growled, "his sodium level must be off the charts!"

She glanced around the room, seeing a trashcan in the corner, dragging it over next to the fridge and began taking out the frozen dinners and dropping them in the garbage.

Danny stood silent in the room with Steve, avoiding the glare that was directed at him. He finally glanced over at him, "What?"

"What do you mean what?! You hired a Nazi!"

"Stop being so dramatic and keep your voice down," he scolded him, leaning back and glancing in the kitchen to make sure she was out of hearing range. He walked over to the bed. "I think this is the best course of action for you. I talked to Mary and she agrees. We both wanted Tyler from the beginning but let you have your way, no more. Now it's our way. You've become blind to the poor choices you've been making, it's our job as your family to set you straight."

Steve turned his head stubbornly toward the window, pouting, angry over the control they had over him, and even angrier that there was nothing he could do to stop it. He was at their mercy and now at this Tyler person's as well.

She came out of the kitchen, going for her car keys on the table. "Can you hang out here for a while?" she said to Danny, "I need to make a run to the grocery store."

"Sure. Use that debit card I gave you."

"Ok, I got it. I'll save the receipts too."

"You don't even know what I like?" Steve said to her. "Aren't you going to ask what I want?"

Tyler huffed, "I got a pretty good idea from all the TV dinners I threw away. You'll like what I make, trust me."

"And if I don't?" he replied sarcastically.

"Just like our parents used to say, 'If you get hungry enough, you'll eat it.'" She smiled as she closed the door.

"I hate her," Steve grumbled, looking over at Danny with a scowl. "I hate her!"

He simply shrugged and picked up the remote, flipping the TV on and plopped down on the leather loveseat that had recently been brought out of storage.

Tyler had only been there ten minutes and she was already taking charge. Danny's only regret was that he hadn't hired her in the first place, but he was getting over that quickly. He had a good feeling that things were only going to get better for Steve from here on out, even though he would strongly disagree if asked, so Danny didn't bother asking.


	6. Chapter 6

Tyler lifted her suitcase up and set it on the spare bed after changing the sheets and vacuuming the floor, giving it a good cleaning, knowing that Mark had been living in there just before her. She did the same with the spare bathroom, allowing Steve to eat his lunch by himself, assured he didn't want her company.

She placed her clothes neatly in the dresser, organizing them from what she would put on first to last, panties and bras in the top drawer, shorts and shirts in that order in the next two and bathing suits and yoga pants in the bottom. She only had a couple of nice casual, beach dresses and two sweatshirts that she hung in the closet. No jackets required. She lined her slippers up according to color. The fancy ones she wore with the dresses she kept in the far back, not wearing them as often.

She lined the top of the dresser with photos of friends and one of her late mother that she faced toward the bed so she could see it. She had none of her father or her two brothers.

She used a small wicker basket that she found up on the closet shelf for her make up, which only consisted of mascara, two different types of brown eye shadow and three colors of lipstick.

Her laptop she placed on the small nightstand by the bed.

Once all was in place, she zipped up the suitcase and shoved it the far end of the closet out of the way.

She took one look around and smiled, liking the room. It was much bigger than any one she had ever had before and liked the window that let in a nice breeze. She was going to be comfortable there.

She gathered up the old sheets from the bed and carried them downstairs, seeing the half eaten plate of food on the table by Steve's bed.

"Was it ok?" she asked him.

Steve's eyes never left the book he was reading, "It was alright, kinda bland."

"That's because you're taste buds are used to a lot of salt. They'll settle down after a couple of days." She wasn't about to change it up to suit him, that is what she considered his down fall to begin with, or Mark being just plain lazy, either one was not in her nature.

He waited until she turned and walked away, carrying the plate with her. He regretfully eyed the remaining contents as she turned the corner. It took a lot of restraint to not finish it off but he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that he really did like it, loved it actually. She was a good cook. He didn't even know he was a fan of some of the vegetables that she had added to the brown rice and chicken, but the mixture and whatever spices she used were a perfect blend.

She came back in the living room after starting a load of clothes. His face was in the book again ignoring her, but she was pretty sure her next sentence would get his attention.

"I want to change your catheter to a new one."

Right on queue his head popped up. "What?"

"You're catheter, it needs to be changed. It should be done every three days but I'm sure Mark never did that, did he?"

Steve didn't respond, still reeling over the idea of her maneuvering around down there. He could feel his face turn a deep red, unable to control the obvious.

"Steve," Tyler began, trying to ease his apparent embarrassment, "I know this may be difficult for you to digest but I've done this probably over three hundred times, and many of them being men, your age, younger and older. Besides, you had it done in the hospital, so what's the big deal."

"They were nurses, in uniform," he replied nervously.

"Would you like me to run out and by some scrubs? Would that make it easier?"

"It would be easier if you just didn't do it."

"Well I'm going to, otherwise you're going to end up with a nasty infection down there and neither one of us wants that."

He couldn't think of anything worse than what was about to happen to him, knowing there really was no way out of it. It didn't matter to him that she'd done it over three hundred times; she'd never done it to him.

"I also want to get you started on your physical therapy so…" she walked behind the bed to where the weights had been placed and picked up a fifteen pound hand weight. "You can start by using this to help take your mind off of the catheter replacement."

He stared at the dumbbell and then up at her as if not hearing a word she had just said. "What?"

She took the book from his right hand, replacing it with the weight. "Take this," she said, speaking to him as if he were a child, "and then hold it out like this." She demonstrated by spreading her arm out in length. "Lift it up until it's vertical and then bring it back down and repeat." She pressed the button on the side of the bed with her knee that lowered the headrest back so the mattress was flat. "And at the same time I want you to squeeze your left hand into a fist repeatedly. Got it?"

' _I hate you,'_ he thought to himself as he glared at her, but began the regiment as she ignored his resentment and flipped the covers back and then slipped on a pair of blue surgical gloves. The last thing he saw was her tearing open a package that held the sterile items she would use on him.

"You should watch because you will have to learn to do this yourself."

"Not today," he grumbled, trying to concentrate on counting rather than what was happening in the lower extremities of his body. He stared at the ceiling; his eyes narrowed showing the anger behind them over the ordeal as he lifted the weight up and down over and over. He went one better and brought the barbell over and across his body making sure he slapped the railing on the other side, metal against metal, making a loud noise, his voice for the time being.

Tyler grinned over the minor temper tantrum that he was displaying as she pulled out the old catheter and cleaned the area, replacing it with the new one, counting his reps as she did. He was stubborn, that was for sure, but he wasn't mean like some of the others she had dealt with. He was just bitter, she thought.

"All done," she said, flipping the covers back over his legs.

Steve froze in the middle of a lift and looked down, shocked that she had done it so quickly. Mark had taken twice as long to do the same procedure.

"Don't stop," Tyler said of the workout, "do another twenty and then we'll do some leg toning." She removed the disposal bag on the side of the bed and replaced it as well with a fresh one.

She took the full bag upstairs and emptied it in the bathroom, as she came out she saw his room across the way. The door was open and she stood just outside of it, not feeling the right to go inside unless it was warranted. She felt like that would be invading his privacy, even though he didn't use it at the moment.

The bed was made and everything seemed to be in order that she could see, wondering if that was how he left it, or if someone had cleaned it for him, pretty much assured that it wasn't Mark. The view from the french doors was amazing from what she could see, thinking how nice it would be to sit out there on a warm evening, or sleep with the doors open. She was sure he missed that; he had to, making it her new goal to get him up here to his room where he belonged. That was going to take some time, but it was doable. She was going to need his cooperation though or nothing she did was going to matter.

"Hey!" Steve yelled from downstairs. "There's someone here!"

She smiled brightly, knowing exactly who it was and came galloping down the stairs. "Cool! Danny sure is a man of his word," she said, taking the last step and smiling over at him as she went to the door. "I've got a couple of surprises for you."

He set down the barbell on the mattress and looked out the window trying to read the markings on the truck, but couldn't make it out. He felt a little unnerved over her giddiness, not sure what medieval torture she and Danny had planned for him next.

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Three hours later Steve pretended not to listen as Tyler spoke on the phone to Danny, the same as he tried to ignore the men in his house that had delivered the contraption next to him.

"Yep, it's perfect" Tyler said into the phone. "Thank you. It will really help things out. You did great. They are exactly what I was hoping for and even better quality. You really do have deep pockets don't you?"

She laughed at something Danny said as Steve rolled his eyes over the one sided conversation. ' _What are they like best friends now?_ ' he huffed, hating the camaraderie between them.

Tyler hung up the phone and looked at the glorious piece of equipment that Steve considered a contraption.

"Isn't this great!" Tyler exclaimed showing off the lift that was situated on the side of the bed. "This will make you mobile. I'll be able to get you in and out easily on my own."

"To go where?" he asked sharply, as if leaving the bed was crazy. He couldn't walk what was the point.

"Out!" she said as if that was the stupidest question she'd ever heard. "Don't you want to get out of this bed? As a matter of fact," she began with her hands on her hips, "when was the last time you were out?"

Steve shrugged, "I don't know, yesterday," he lied.

Tyler laughed, "You are so full of shit. I know it's been at least a week if not longer." She flipped the covers back and looked at the back of his calf. "You need a shower and you need to get some circulation moving in your legs."

Now it was Steve's turn to laugh at her. "Yea ok," he replied sarcastically, "I'll just jump up and go for a quick run and then upstairs for a shower. Oh wait, better yet why don't I just go for a swim in the ocean, that way I can kill two birds with one stone." His voice becoming agitated, "Don't tell me I'm full of shit. You're full of shit!"

She set his leg back down again. "Weren't you a Navy Seal? I thought the motto was don't leave a man behind?" she walked over to the other side of the bed. "Don't leave yourself behind."

"Oh aren't you the clever one," he ridiculed.

Tyler ignored the sarcasm, wheeling his chair over to the side of the bed under the lift. "C'mon, we're going to take a bath."

"You just going to wheel me into the ocean," he snapped, "because going upstairs is out of the question."

"Sort of," she smiled sweetly, removing the blanket over him and undoing the catheter hose that led to the bag on the side of the bed. "I'm going to roll you over on your side and slide this harness underneath you."

He had no time to argue or react as she did just that, sliding one hand under his back and the other under his buttocks and got a grip on the other half of his body and lifted up, rolling him easily. "Grab on to that side of the railing with your right hand," she ordered with a groan, waiting until he did so before she removed her hands, holding him in place.

The only reason he did as he was told was because he knew she was straining herself holding him and also knew she was stubborn enough to stay there until he did as he was told.

' _I_ _hate this,_ ' he thought for the hundredth time, that feeling of helplessness tormenting him once again.

Tyler slid the harness that was made of a thin blue canvas material under his back and carefully rolled him back over, hurrying over to the other side and doing the same routine until it was laid out flat beneath him.

"Ok," she said encouragingly, "the hard part is over." She then proceeded to roll the lift's stand under the bed so the six-point lift position was hanging over him. She secured the clips from the sheet into the metal holders on the lift and stood back checking her work before picking up the remote control.

Steve closed his eyes, not wanting to watch what was happening. The only other help he gave her was taking ahold of his left wrist and laying it across his chest to keep it secure, otherwise he lay still, wishing he were someplace else, a foxhole perhaps he thought oddly enough, with bullets whizzing past his head. It would be more gratifying. At least then he'd be in his own element and have some bit of control. At the moment he felt like an infant, it was one of the most demoralizing moments so far. He would have rather stay in the bed and face the possibility of infection than face the humiliation he was at that second. His only saving grace was that no one else was there to witness it.

He heard the humming of the hydraulics, and felt the tightening of the harness around his body as he was being lifted off the bed.

Tyler smiled brightly over the wonderful achievement and was about to say so when the harness shifted to lower him into the awaiting wheelchair and she saw his face.

Her smile quickly disappeared and for just a split second she felt what it must be like for him, a simple look at his current misery was all it took.

He had been tall, strong and heroic and even with his eyes closed she could see the sadness that now devoured him. He was just a shell, in his opinion, of what he had once been. Even since the last time she had seen him he had somehow become numb to his own existence. The first thing she had noticed when meeting him was his striking good looks, they were still there but hidden under the despair and lack of attention both physically and emotionally. She had arrived just in time she thought, thanking the Akuas and Danny for blessing them both with this opportunity. It couldn't have come at a better time for either of them.

He desperately needed help and she was just as desperately in need of room and board.

The hydraulic machine expertly lowered him into the chair like two gentle arms, fulfilling its duty to a tee.

Tyler set down the handy remote and put a hand on his shoulder as he opened his eyes. "Was that ok? Can I do something different next time to make it easier?"

He looked up over his shoulder taken back by the tenderness in her voice, "No, it was fine," he replied without making eye contact.

His embarrassment over the situation was obvious to her; she'd witnessed it before, mainly in men. Being treated as a child was a hard pill to swallow for some and she had a feeling his was bigger than most. She'd read up on him in more detail after being contacted by Danny again. He really did have a larger than life existence and she could only imagine the turmoil that brewed inside of him now. She'd never worked with military wounded before and had a difficult time trying to wrap her head around what it would be like to have that type of physical stature one second and then have it completely shattered the next. Too her and most others, that hero status still remained regardless of his current medical condition, but to him it was buried deep, as if it never existed at all; getting it to resurface was going to be her biggest challenge yet, she was sure of that.

She slipped the harness material out from under him and set it on the bed.

He got a glimpse at the contraption as she pushed him out of the family room and into the kitchen. It was made of a sturdy metal that he could only morbidly describe as the shape of a hangman post on wheels. Where the noose would have hung was another bar that held six dangling hooks, three across from one another where she had looped in the harness. The remote she held controlled the lift that slowly picked him up, shifted in mid air and set him in the chair. He had to admit it really was impressive, but he was assured he'd never appreciate it for its worth. It was number sixty-four on the list of things he now hated in his life.

She bypassed the kitchen and went straight for the backdoor, which surprised him. Mark had always let him bathe in the kitchen, leaving him a large bowl of water with some soap and a washcloth. He didn't want him bathing him at all. That was one of the many things they agreed upon and of course Mark never objected, one less chore.

"Where are we going?" he asked, wondering if she took his dip in the ocean comment seriously.

"To take a bath," she smiled, reaching over him and opening the french doors that led to the patio. "The lift wasn't the only gift we received today."

He thought her choice of words were extreme, not considering any contraption that had to do with his current condition 'a gift'.

He had tried to ignore the disruption that was going on with the deliveries, keeping his focus on his latest book, but knew something was happening in the kitchen and backyard. He didn't bother to ask or to pretend that he was interested. He didn't even feel that his house was his own anymore. Danny had more say in what was going on there than he did. But the strangest thing of all was that he didn't even care anymore. They'd turned his sanctuary in to just another rehab center. He really wasn't home at all. So whatever she had out there, wasn't a gift, it was just another reminder that his life was in shambles.

Tyler pushed him through the open door to the patio, giving him a good nudge to get over the six-inch lip from the house to the cement slab.

"Here it is!" she said showing it off with her hands, hoping he'd appreciate it as much as she did, or the good use they would get from it.

He understood now what she meant by a bath. On the patio was an enclosed portable shower that had two doors that swung out; the opening was just wide enough for him to be wheeled into. There was a plastic tube that came out of the back that ran up the wall of the house and in through the kitchen window just above the sink.

He stared at the bath; always having plans to put in an outdoor shower but never in a million years did he ever picture it to look anything like this. His enthusiasm did not match hers in the least.

Tyler explained the layout, hoping to impress him. "The water comes from the kitchen sink," she said, pointing to the tube. "We can adjust the water to the right temperature and it comes out the shower head here," she pointed to the new shiny hand held head that rested on a handle. "It has different settings too, if you want to mix it up," she joked with a chuckle. She looked at him but his unwavering stare was focused on the shower as if it were some sort of torture device. "It drains out the back, over here," she explained. "I even had them hook on an extra long hose so it wouldn't affect the grass by the edge. It'll drain over in the bushes," she explained, feeling her excitement over the new edition slowly diminish. "There's a seat too that can be attached," she described, her voice not showing the same enthusiasm, "if you want a bath instead. The doors seal tight enough to hold in water to fill it."

Still nothing. It was as if she were talking to herself, deciding to just get on with it. "I think we'll do a bath today. It'll help clean some of the chaffing that is on the back of your legs."

No response.

She moved over in front of him and lifted up on the bottom of his shirt.

That got his attention.

"What are you doing?!" he barked, pushing her hand away.

"You need to get undressed."

"I'm not fucking five years old," he growled, "I can take my own shirt off! I don't need you to undress me like I'm fucking…" he stopped, catching himself from finishing the cliché' play on words, ' _crippled'_ , because that's exactly what he was, his anger mounting over it. "I can do it myself!"

His mood had changed in the blink of an eye.

Tyler stepped back, giving him space, knowing it wasn't a personal attack, it was the situation he was condemning. She understood, but he also had to understand that no matter how badly he wanted to do it by himself, he needed her help.

She squatted down in front of him, putting a hand on the armrest of his chair to help keep her balance, wanting to talk to him at eye level and not down to him from above, somehow that seemed disrespectable.

"Steve," she began, keeping her voice level, not sounding demanding but neither was she submissive to his tantrum. "I'm not here to make life hard for you. I'm just here as a support to help you through this transition." She put a hand on her chest, "I'm not the enemy and I don't want to do anything to make your life more difficult. There's going to be times that you will feel uncomfortable, but some things have to be handled by me for the time being. The last thing I want to do is make you feel useless, but for now until you get your strength back, I think you need to let me do my job."

He slowly looked up at her, responding to not only the blunt tone of her voice but the words that weren't passive and patronizing, but actually left him hopeful. It was a transition, he thought, and once he got through it she would be gone and he could have his house back to himself. He'd pick his battles, he decided, letting her win this one. But for the record, being bathed was number sixty-five on the list of things he now hated in his life.

He didn't verbally respond to her but nodded his head ever so slightly, giving her the go ahead.

"Thank you," she replied, using the arm of the chair to push herself up.

He held still allowing her to remove his shirt, helping her get past his left arm that lay limp in his lap.

"I'm going to need to remove your shorts as well. I think you should have a full soak?"

Steve's body tensed up over the uncomfortable thought of her stripping him down. She'd already seen him naked from the changing of the catheter, but somehow this just seemed more personal to him. "Can't I just leave my shorts on?"

"Why don't we compromise?" She reached over on the patio table that had three towels sitting on it and picked one up. "I'll wrap a towel around your waist first. I have some clean clothes for you to put on afterward too. I'd like to toss the ones you have on now in the wash."

He couldn't argue with her there, he'd been wearing the same clothes for three days. Never in a million years would he have done that in his previous life. He would have gone commando if he had run out of underwear rather than wear dirty ones. It had been one of his biggest pet peeves since he could dress himself, and having to endure it mercilessly while in the military was like torture, yet here he sat now arguing to keep on a stale pair. He thought it almost insanely comical that a pair of underwear could remind him how much his life had spiraled out of control. He glanced over at the bath, not seeing a creature comfort but an unwanted visual effect of what he had become reduced to. He turned his head, feeling nauseous as another bought of reality mercilessly ran over him.

"Ok, a towel would be…ok" he agreed almost breathless, the words barely audible as another wave of depression that could come on at a moment's notice swept over him. The stabbing pain in his chest weakened his already damaged body, chipping away at his spirit. It was a cruel emotion and the only one he had ever experienced that was also physically painful to endure. He looked down at his body sitting in the wheelchair, wishing once again that he would have just died that day.

She was beginning to recognize the mood swings that controlled his life after only a few hours of being with him. It troubled her terribly that no one had done anything about it, cursing Mark once again. Assured he had not only missed the severity of them, but worse yet, he had ignored the ones he did see.

She wrapped the towel around his waist and knew she would have no objections from him as she did the same with her arms, lifting him up just enough to pull down the back of his shorts and then set him back down. She had done this routine with countless other patients and had gone about it professionally and without any kind of thought process except to get it done as quickly and efficiently as possible, but this time felt different. She couldn't get past the unsettling feelings that came over her, never before had she felt what she did for a patient. She'd always prided herself on keeping her emotions in tact and focusing on the job and not becoming emotionally engaged in it, but he was unique and she was just beginning to realize just how much it was going to effect her work. She knew this was going to be a challenge, but she was going to have to step up and become more than just a caregiver. He was going to need more than that, and after reading through his file and all the material that had surfaced online about what he had done and how he had lived his life so passionately devoted to helping others, she felt strongly that he deserved everything she had to offer him professionally, and more. She needed to go beyond his physical needs and focus just as strongly on the emotional ones as well.

She managed to modestly get his shorts off without causing him any more embarrassment, but the sullen attitude that embraced him now took priority over anything else, not sure he even was aware that he was now naked under the towel. His behavior displayed a man barely alive. His head was bent so she couldn't see his face anymore, but she didn't need to see it to know he was in pain.

Her instincts were to comfort as she reached her hand out to touch him, but hesitated, pulling it back, not sure he would respond to her in the way that most would. He was too emotionally independent to accept such a gesture and she didn't want to cross that line and have another reason for him to resent her being there. Instead she thought of a different way to comfort him without him even realizing it.

She lowered the armrests of the chair and wheeled him into the enclosed area of the bath.

"Steve, I'm going to help you move over to this seat here, ok?" she said to him, needing his assistance.

He turned his head in that direction and used his right hand as he grabbed ahold of the handle on the side wall and lifted himself as she slid an arm around his waist helping him make the transition and trying not to look at his face, knowing he was avoiding her as well.

Once he was seated she secured the towel around his waist again and closed the watertight door to the bath. "I'm just going to go inside and turn the water on, ok?"

He raised his head just enough to acknowledge that he heard her, but gave no verbal reply. He heard her scurry off into the house as if she were in a hurry, but didn't give it another thought as he turned his head and looked out toward the ocean that gently rolled up to his backyard. He could see the exact spot where he had entered the water on an almost daily basis for his morning swim, diverting his eyes away missing that ceremonious alone time tremendously. It had been therapeutic and helped him clear his head of all troubles that were ailing him. He'd even solved a couple of cases while out there fighting against the waves, wishing now that he could just walk across the yard and into the water and swim away.

He looked down; hearing a whooshing sound and saw that the water in the tub was already covering his feet as it slowly filled the bath.

"How's the water?" Tyler asked, as she stood at the side of it again. "Too warm? Too cold?"

He glanced up, giving her a look between irritated and wonderment. "I can't feel it, so I don't know."

She felt incredibly foolish for asking that question, knowing he wouldn't be able to until it was higher up so his hand could reach down. "Right, sorry."

They waited in silence as she stood a couple of steps away until finally he was able to reach down.

"Its fine," he replied, his voice neither pleased with the warming effect nor irritated with her for it either. There was no emotion either way.

She decided to just get on with it then, determined to just do her job as he had agreed upon, hoping she might be able to alleviate some of his stress along with it.

Among the several different classes that she had taken for her CNA and Physical Therapy training, one was all about the human muscles and how they act and react to certain exercises and injuries. Her professor had also once been a massage therapist, he had joked, in another life. So along with learning the essential properties of the human body, she also learned how to alleviate the stress on muscles, a bonus she thought happily.

"I think a good soak will be good for today. I have some soap and a washcloth here," she said, reaching around from behind him and holding it out to him. He seemed transfixed on the view of the ocean in front of him and she didn't want to distract that or block his line of sight so she just stayed behind, out of his way.

Steve looked at the items in her hand and reached up with his right hand and took them but that was all. He just held them, letting his hand fall back under the water, resting it on his leg as he stared straight ahead, contemplating his miserable life and trying to find one thing that he felt grateful for. Nothing was coming to mind so far.

Tyler stood back, waiting for him to take the initiative of cleaning himself, but it became clear after several minutes that he was not going to do that. She didn't feel it necessary at the moment to draw on any more tension between them by cleaning him herself; but his hair was another story. It needed to be washed. She guessed that it was longer than he normally kept it, seeing the end strands at the base of his neck begin to curl.

She took one of the towels on the table and folded it up, setting it on the edge of the bath for a pillow and put a hand on his shoulder, "Lean back," she instructed, gently pulling on him.

He fought the request, twitching his muscles where her hand laid, trying to get it off as he glanced over his shoulder at her. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to wash your hair," she instructed in the most professional tone she could.

"I can do it," he huffed, hating the whole bathing ritual once again.

"I don't want the shampoo to get in the tub, it's not good for your wounds," she lied, wondering if he'd even believe her, but she felt if she could just get him to lay back she might be able to relieve some of his tension. It was a long shot but she was willing to try anything at this point to get him to trust her abilities just a tiny bit, hoping things might progress from there.

"It's just soap and…"

"You said you were going to let me do my job," she reminded him. "Are we going to argue over everything, because that could make both of our lives a pain in the ass."

She was direct when she wanted to be he thought stubbornly, but took into consideration his agreement with her about cooperating. ' _Pick your battles_ ,' he told himself once again, leaning back at her request.

She smiled over her triumph and kicked her flip-flops off her feet toward the door and out of the way of the water that would eventually run off his head and to the ground. She made a mental note over the fact that he seemed to respond better when she showed more authority and sounded more assertive in her request, maybe that was because of his military background she thought, but didn't care, it worked, but she'd have to use it wisely and not sound overbearing, that would never work.

He closed his eyes and felt the warm water from the hand held spray nozzle wash over his head and then splash on the ground. He smelled the shampoo as Tyler squeezed some into her hand, working it into a lather before applying it.

His skin prickled at the first initial encounter of her touch. It had been a long time since anyone had handled him in a way that didn't involve carrying, poking or prodding.

This was an unexpectedly nice change.

The foamy hands glided over his scalp in a soothing manner, not rushed or inpatient to get the chore over with, on the contrary, she moved slowly and methodically. Her fingernails were just long enough to make a difference between it just feeling good, to making it feel great. But when she lifted his head and continued down the back of his neck gently massaging it as she did, his whole body succumbed to the ritual that screamed out with pleasure as the goose flesh on his skin rose to the occasion in the warm bath.

It was far beyond what he had expected from her, carrying him away with every slippery stroke of her hands that left him mentally paralyzed as well, succumbing to the pleasing motion of her fingers that massaged him deeply, yet still allowing the tenderness to be the main focal point.

The soap and wash clothe in his hand slowly and unknowingly to him slipped out and drifted to the bottom of the bath as he surrendered to her remarkable skill that she was gratefully sharing with him now.

Tyler smiled; feeling his muscles relax almost on queue. She continued on in her quest to alleviate the tension that had him so wound up he was like a ticking time bomb that let off little explosions here and there in angry outbursts. He couldn't help it, she thought. It wasn't his fault. It was the only way he knew how to express himself as he tried desperately to keep some control of whatever life he thought he had left. She found it sad, but more than that, unworthy of him. No one deserved to feel that way, no one.

Her plan had worked as she carefully laid his head back down after several minutes. To her pleasure he had drifted off to sleep.

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Steve opened his eyes and raised his head, feeling groggy.

Tyler sat on one of the chairs across from him smiling triumphantly.

"Did I fall asleep?"

"Yes."

He wiped his wet hand over his face, trying to wake up but still feeling weak, looking down into the water at the wash clothe and soap that rested on the bottom. "How long was I out for?"

Tyler shrugged, "About fifteen minutes maybe."

He couldn't recall the exact moment he fell asleep, but did remember the massage.

"You could have woke me up," he said, using his hand to sit up more in the water that he'd been soaking in.

"Why? You obviously needed a siesta so why not indulge? Besides," she grinned as she stood up, "you're going to need all the energy you can get with the workout I'm going to put you through tonight."

Steve's eyes followed her as she walked behind the bath, "Why don't we just wait until tomorrow morning. I don't like to workout at night. It keeps me up."

"Trust me," Tyler chuckled, "you'll sleep like a baby tonight."

Steve turned so he could see her, "I told you…"

"I heard what you said. That might have worked on Mark, but not with me. You need to get your body moving again. You've been immobile for far too long. Once you get past the first couple of days you'll begin to feel like your old self again."

Steve turned away from her, "I'll never feel like my old self again."

"Negative attitude. It doesn't help the healing process. Endorphins are like a happy drug, the more you stimulate them the better you feel."

He rolled his eyes at her over enthusiastic attitude, wondering what drug she was on at the moment to make her so peppy.

' _Pakalolo,'_ he thought, hoping she didn't smoke it in his house.

"Ready to get out?" she asked him, dipping her hand in the lukewarm water. She was wondering if he was going to mention the massage at all. Her victorious plan that she had felt so triumphant over was beginning to diminish. He was a hard one to please she thought with a sigh, wondering if he'd ever welcome her.

But she wasn't there to be appreciated; she thought stubbornly, she was there to do a job and if he didn't like her or the way she did it, too bad. She knew she had his best interest at heart whether he cared or not. She just had to keep that thought in her head.

The first day had gone over as expected Tyler decided as she lay in bed listening to the sound of the ocean lap up against the shore only a few hundred feet away. It was a comforting sound that relaxed her. As promised she had formulated a workout that proved to awaken dormant muscles in his body, nothing too strenuous the first time around, but she could see the strain in his face during the last few reps that he was feeling the burn.

He didn't complain though, which shocked and delighted her. He was already more physically fit than most men his age and even some twenty something's that she knew, he'd just let himself go since the shooting. She didn't blame him for the lack of exercise, she blamed Mark, wondering what it was that he did all day while Steve laid dormant in that bed. By the look of the food that she had thrown out, cooking didn't occupy his time either. She shook her head angrily as she rolled over in bed and looked out the open window. She could see a few stars twinkling in the dark sky past the trees. Her thoughts instantly swung in a new direction.

She smiled to herself, forgetting about Mark and thinking of her mother and a time they had sat on Waimea Beach in the middle of the night and looked at the stars together. It wasn't until years later that she realized the reason her mother had taken her there. It was because her father had begun one of his angry rants and she feared for her safety, taking Tyler with her so as not to experience his drunken wrath. She glanced at the picture on the dresser of her mother standing on the very same beach in a flowered bathing suit. She was about the same age as Tyler was now when it was taken. It had been almost ten years since the accident and she still missed her terribly, knowing she always would.

Her focus went from the picture to the stars again.

"Good night Mom," she whispered, "I love you."

She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Steve placed the bookmark on the page and closed it. He reached over to set it on the table when he hesitated halfway there, cringing at the pain in his shoulder from the workout. He leaned forward to get closer without having to put anymore stress on the muscle, tossing the book the rest of the way and then laid back again, quietly moaning over the discomfort.

He couldn't help but be a little pleased over the stiffness. He always loved a good workout when he could feel the results of it later in the day. He was defiantly feeling it now. He didn't give Tyler the credit though. He gave that to himself for enduring what she threw at him, refusing to give her the satisfaction of knowing that he was struggling to get through it. He wasn't that out of shape, he told himself, but also couldn't deny that two months ago the workout she gave him would have been ridiculously easy to perform, whereas now he could hardly move without feeling it.

He reached up with his right hand to that same side of his neck and began to squeeze the shoulder muscles, thinking about the massage from earlier in the bath.

She had talent in that capacity; he couldn't argue that. It was the most relaxed he had felt in a long time, even before the shooting. Never had he gone to sleep so quickly before, wondering if she had done that on purpose with some access point in his neck like the Vulcan grip?

He smiled to himself over the thought of it. She really wasn't all that bad after all, and he had to admit she was way better than Mark. It had been a long day transitioning from one to the other, and then the bath and then workout. She had finished him off with homemade pizza topped with spinach, tomatoes and garlic chicken. He devoured it, not able, or even willing to pretend he didn't like it. He was starving and it was delicious.

He was showered, had a full belly and aching muscles from a workout, whereas the night before he lay in the same spot wondering if he'd hear the noises from upstairs again. He rested back in his bed and looked toward her room, deciding to give her the benefit of the doubt for now.

It was only the first day he thought and maybe she was just trying to impress him. He'd see how tomorrow went, or the rest of the week for that matter. Then he'd know fore sure if she were legit or not.


	7. Chapter 7

Steve opened his eyes to the wonderful aroma of cooked bacon.

He glanced toward the window, seeing the sun already high in the sky by the shadows it cast on the Ko'olau Mountain Range. He'd slept in longer than he had in a long time, most days witnessing the sunrise.

He raised his bed to a sitting position at the same time that something caught his eye in the decorative mirror hanging on the wall across the room. In the reflection he could see into the kitchen. The image shown nothing unusual at the moment but then all at once he saw it again, raising an eyebrow at the unexpected display.

The song on Tyler's headphones ended. She reached down to the small purple IPod attached to her shorts and turned up the volume, smiling over the next tune that began.

Wham's, _Wake Me Up Before You Go Go_ , blasted in her ears.

It had been one of her mom's favorites. The majority of songs downloaded on the player were ones that she'd sung with her mother in the car when she was young, or while making dinner together.

She stood at the stove and began to bob her head in tune to the music, holding the spatula in one hand while her other tapped the air in beat to the tune. She flipped the bacon as her favorite part came on, lip-syncing the words as her body moved to the rhythm. She backed away from the stove and danced in the open space of the kitchen as she looked out the window above the sink, admiring the beautiful view of the ocean from the backyard.

Steve used his one good hand and pushed himself up in the bed to get a better view as she silently rocked out to whatever tune she was listening to. The white wires coming from her ears bounced with her. He wondered how in the heck they stayed in as she jerked her head to and fro.

He was smiling at the display before he knew it. She wasn't ridiculous as some would be, but on the contrary he found it fascinating. She was carefree and really seemed to be enjoying the song and the solitude.

He lowered himself back down again, a little reluctant over watching her, feeling like he was invading her privacy. She obviously didn't know she was on display, but his eyes diverted to the mirror once again, unable to stop himself as the image picked up momentum. The spatula was used like an orchestra wand as she tapped the air with it to the beat of the music in quick snaps here and there while her lips moved silently to the words. She was enjoying herself immensely.

He would have given anything at that moment to know which song of the millions in existence that she was listening to.

Tyler's attention diverted to the stove as she quickly moved over to it and pulled the frying pan filled with bacon to an empty burner. She shuffled to the fridge as the song winded down and took out three eggs and the bag of chopped spinach and tomatoes left over from the pizza the night before, setting them on the counter. She pulled the vegetable drawer open and eyed the many choices she had purchased the day before, deciding on a red pepper to give the omelet some color and texture.

She reached down to her hip and turned the volume down as an Adele song came on next, slowing down her momentum to a peaceful one, but her head still swayed gently as she mouthed the words to the tune and chopped the pepper up, mentally planning out the day with her new patient.

Steve leaned his body to the left trying to find her in the reflection of the mirror again, completely enthralled with the animated dancing. He could just make out the sight of her as she now stood by the counter, preparing his breakfast. She still moved rhythmically in place, but not with the same enthusiasm.

He lowered himself back down again but kept his eyes riveted on the mirror. She was definitely a morning person, liking that because he was too.

The smell of eggs cooking now made his mouth water. He was hungry and knew whatever she was preparing for him would be a refreshing change from what he had been fed by Mark. The day before, just before Danny's arrival, he had polished off two bowls of cereal and a piece of buttered toast. Mark hadn't even bothered to prepare it; his idea of preparation was setting the box and a half-gallon of milk on the tray with a bowl and spoon.

Tyler had been there less than twenty-four hours and had already cooked him three nutritious meals and made him workout.

He wanted to dislike her, considering the reason for her being there, but was finding it difficult. She really was good at her job and he had to respect that, especially since all of her energy was geared toward him.

He eyed the lift that had been brought in the day before and thought of the tub and shower she also had purchased, all for his convenience not hers. He had to admit the bath was a plus and so were her hands, recalling the massage. Now that he thought back on it, it wasn't so much the relaxing feeling that pleased him as it was the actual feel of another person's hands on him in that way. She wasn't just washing his hair as she had instructed him she was going to do; she was going the extra mile trying to relax him, accomplishing it as well.

Steve saw her setting the plate of food on a tray and quickly reached over grabbing his book off the table and flipping it open to the bookmarked page, pretending he was reading.

Tyler came around the corner with the headphones resting over her shoulder and tray in hand. "Good Morning," she said cheerfully. "Hungry?" She wasn't sure what kind of mood he would be in, considering the day before. His moods changed so suddenly she never knew what to expect.

He looked up from the book and gave her a sufficient grin, "I could eat. That smells good." He eyed the small IPOD on her hip, wondering the type of music it held. She looked to be about twenty-four, maybe twenty-five. The islands had a way of hiding the true age of most natives but she couldn't be thirty that he was sure of. He assumed her playlist consisted of the current hits being played on the radio. He was never into music too much, not even as a kid, but her enjoyment over it amused him, awakening a curiosity over this new person who was living in his home.

' _So far so good,_ ' she thought happily over his attitude, setting the tray down on the table and then moving it over in front of him.

She deserved better treatment than what he had thrown at her the day before, he thought, feeling slightly embarrassed over his childish behavior as he stared down at the appetizing omelet, two pieces of bacon and a slice of 100% whole wheat toast slathered with a thin layer of jelly rather than butter.

"This looks good. Thank you," he smiled as he picked up the fork.

Never had a 'thank you' meant so much to her. It was sincere too. "You're welcome. I have coffee brewing too. How do you like it?"

"Just cream is good." He cut an end off the omelet and took a bite, pleased with the taste, beginning to think that he had been sorely mistaken by hiring Mark.

She came back in a couple of minutes later with two cups of coffee, setting his down on the tray and taking hers over and sitting down on the couch. "Do you like to fish, Steve?" she asked out of the blue.

He looked over at her as he was about to shovel in another glorious bite of the eggs and bacon but held off to answer her question. "Yes, why?"

Tyler held her coffee in both hands as if using the cup to warm them. "When I was in your garage taking out the garbage I saw a couple of fishing poles. I thought maybe it would be a good way for you to get outside today. I'm sure you've probably fished right off the shore in your backyard haven't you?"

He was taken back by the suggestion, but wasn't completely opposed to it either, but then he looked down at his left hand. "I don't think I can fish with one hand."

Tyler stood up and walked over to the other side of the bed, "To be quiet honest Steve, I think you can do anything you want, it might just take a little extra effort for a while."

She slid her hand under his left one and lifted it off the mattress, holding it in a 'bro' style handshake. "Squeeze it," she ordered.

He focused his energy and slowly moved his fingers around hers and squeezed, but barely enough to make the grip.

"Not bad," she said, setting his hand back down again, "but I have something that will help." She set her coffee down, going for the stairs. "I'll be right back."

He watched her run up the steps with the same energy that she put into dancing. She was excited about whatever it was she was going to get.

She was back within seconds, smiling brightly as she tossed a pink squeeze ball back and forth between her hands.

He knew what it was, seeing one on Danny's desk before. He had used it on occasion to relieve stress when they were caught up in an extra tough case.

She came back around the other side again and put the ball in his left hand. "I want you to hold this several times a day and squeeze it. It will help strengthen your grip again. You can also use it like this," she demonstrated, putting the ball on the table and setting her palm on top of it, rolling it back and forth. "This will stimulate the nerves in your hand and forearm while you roll it."

"Pink?" he said as she put it back in his left hand. "They didn't have blue or even black maybe?"

She saw the teasing grin on his face, "Once you wear this one out," she promised, "then I'll get you a more masculine color. Consider it motivation."

She picked her coffee back up, walking out of the room toward the kitchen to clean up the breakfast mess. She couldn't be happier with the way the day was starting out so far.

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Tyler set the fishing poles down in the grass next to the large white bucket. She jogged back to the house and into the garage retrieving the tackle box next, glancing around to see if she were missing anything else, but decided that if she were, Steve would let her know. She was excited to get him outside and in the fresh air doing an activity that he obviously loved because not only had she found regular fishing poles out in the garage but she had also found spearfishing gear.

Once she had everything in place all she needed now was a fisherman she thought amusingly, going back into the house.

She came around the corner of the family room seeing him gathering up his sheets around his waist as he pulled on them, getting them free from the tuck at the bottom of the bed.

"Get out!" he shouted at her.

Tyler stopped, shocked over the display. "Steve, what's wrong? What's happ…," and then all at once she knew.

' _Oh God!'_ she thought, angered with herself for not realizing the possibilities of an accident in this manner from the shocking change to his diet. She should have known better and prepared for it. Her first concern was not the mess that he was obviously trying to conceal but the lack of fluid in his body that could lead to dehydration. She'd cleaned up many accidents in her line of work and one more didn't bother her, but to him she thought groaning, she was pretty sure this was his first.

"Steve," she began coming closer to him, trying to ward off the unnecessary shame that he was putting on himself.

"Get out of here!" he shouted again, taking the coffee cup off the tray and hurdling it across the room as it shattered against the wall by the coat closet, clearly not aiming for her, yet his anger was plainly visible over the humiliating ordeal. He shoved the tray table in front of him out of the way as it toppled over, the dishes from his breakfast going with it. "I said get out!" he screamed at her. "Leave me alone!" He made eye contact just long enough to get his point across that he was dead serious, she better not come any closer.

"Knock it off!" Tyler yelled back as she bent over picking up pieces of the broken plate. "You're throwing a temper tantrum over something that's a completely natural bodily function and could happen to anyone so stop acting like you're the first person in the world to have accidently shit your pants! Jesus! Grow up!"

She stood up with the two broken pieces in her hand as he stared out the window, his chest heaving over the frustration and anger of the situation, his hands bound up in the sheets that covered his waist.

Tyler kept her distance but refused to give in to his request by leaving all together. "You're body is going through a change right now and sometimes things are going to happen that are beyond your control," she took a step closer to him, seeing his shoulders sag and the anger once again begin to turn to depression. "Haven't you ever been in a situation Steve that you simply couldn't control? You aren't my first patient that this has happened too. It's happened to other men besides you, better men," she said firmly. "Other men who remained calm and dignified, and didn't throw their cups across the room." The look on his face stiffened. She wasn't sure if he wanted to reach out and strangler her, or crawl under a rock. Maybe a little of both she thought amusingly.

"Just when I feel like I'm getting back on track," he spoke grimly, "something kicks me back down again. When is that going to end?"

"Never," Tyler huffed, "Just yesterday at the grocery store I thought I was on top of my game. Danny called ME for this job to come in and save the day. I was all over myself feeling pretty sassy." She sighed and rolled her eyes, "and then I knocked over a display of mangos by the checkout stand. They were everywhere! Rolling away faster than I could gather them up!" She laughed at the memory of it. "I mean really! Who puts a flimsy display of mangos by the check out area? That could only happen in Hawaii. People were staring and laughing under their breath. One kid was even videoing it," she growled. "I swear if I see that on YouTube I'll hunt him down."

She saw a hint of a smile on Steve's face and took advantage of the small opening.

"You're probably wondering what my point is. I'm just saying…shit happens."

The humorous remark that she used to literally describe his situation and hers caught him by complete surprise as he let out a laugh over it.

She watched as he slowly turned in her direction. She shrugged nonchalantly as if saying the two disasters were indeed one in the same.

He looked down at the other mess of broken glass that he had made for her, cringing over it as well. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely.

Tyler shrugged again, "Oh well, its done and over. Just don't make me restock your dishes with plastic though."

He chuckled again over her sense of humor, "I won't."

He looked down at the sheets, almost having forgot about the other mess. "Do you think there's a chance I could do this by myself?"

Tyler shook her head, "No. You're going to take a shower while I do the job you pay me for." She smiled, quickly changing the subject. "I've got all the fishing gear out there by the water. I'm sure I'm missing something, though," she said as she walked around the other side and moved the lift over his bed. "What kind of fish have you caught out there before?" She kept him talking, asking questions about whatever came to mind about fishing, getting him excited about the task and keeping his mind off the chore as she moved him out to the shower on the patio.

She turned the water on from the kitchen and spoke to him from the open window above the sink. "Is it ok?"

Steve pulled the shower handle off from its clip on the wall, pointing it at the floor and turned it on. The spray started out cold and then quickly became warm.

"It's fine," he yelled back as he held it over his head, letting it wash over him.

He glanced back at the window but didn't see her, knowing she was tending to his bed.

"Shit happens," he said out loud, shaking his head over it and then started to laugh, picturing her scurrying around trying to scoop up the mangos.

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"Give me it!" Steve ordered as he laughed at Tyler while she held the squirming fish under one arm, trying to get the hook out. "You're torturing the poor thing."

"I got it!" she groaned, finally getting the hook free, but lost her grip on the fish as she held up her trophy. It flopped around in the shallow surf on the beach as she tried to pin it down.

"You have to hold it by the lungs!" Steve yelled and laughed at the same time, pointing from his wheelchair at the fish. "Grab it!"

Tyler looked up at him irritably. "I'm trying!" But by the time she looked back down the fish had already made its way to deep enough water and had miraculously escaped capture.

She sat down in the water on her butt and slapped her hands down in the surf. "Damn it!" She looked over at him as he sat with his arms stubbornly crossed.

"You're not allowed to fish with me anymore until you learn how to properly hold one."

Tyler rolled her eyes at him as she got up, "It slipped. I got the hook out!" she declared, holding it up.

"That's great," Steve said unimpressed, "but where's the fish? Because that really is the most important part of fishing is actually keeping the fish after the hook has been removed."

Tyler mocked his words with her mouth in a sarcastic way.

"Who taught you how to fish anyway?" he asked as he reeled in the line to bait it.

"No one."

"Well that sounds about right."

"You act like I lost Moby Dick or something. That fish was puny. When you catch something worth bragging over then you can criticize."

Steve laughed as he baited the hook. "Have you ever cast out a line before?"

"No." She stood next to his chair watching as he tied the line with one hand and his teeth. "You're pretty good with that. Wouldn't it be nice to have both hands?"

He looked up at her, closing one eye and squinting at the bright sunlight that protruded through the trees behind her. "I'm working on it," he said, handing her the reel. "Here, hold it like this." He demonstrated how to hold the reel, moving his hand back and forth as if he were casting it out. "Its all in the wrist," he explained. "Hold this button down and as you fling your hand forward release it. The line will sail out into the water."

Tyler walked to the edge of the surf until her feet were covered and looked over her shoulder, making sure she wouldn't catch him with the hook as she leaned the pole back over her shoulder. "Like this?" she asked, flipping her wrist forward and releasing the button as he had shown. The lure rose up high over the water in a long arch, the line glistening in the sunlight as it sailed out in the ocean and finally came to rest on top of the water, slowly sinking down. She looked over her shoulder for his approval and got it.

"Nicely done!"

"Thank you," she replied with a pleasing grin as if she knew the task was attainable all along.

"You're a natural."

"It's all in the wrist," she joked.

He laughed again as she mimicked his instructions by flipping her wrist in the air. The move instantly reminded him of the entertaining show she had put on that morning for his enjoyment, unbeknownst to her of course. He made up his mind then that he liked her and he wouldn't give her any more grief. She had proved herself not only to be reliable when it came to his needs, but she also had an engaging personality. He didn't feel alone like he had with Mark, even though he had told himself that's what he wanted. There was something special about her that sensed what he needed, when he needed it, and delivered.

"I'm sorry about being kind of ass yesterday," he said to her, "the way I acted toward you. I was just…"

"You don't have to apologize to me, Steve," she interrupted, "I didn't take it personally."

He was glad for that, recalling that Danny said she had worked with the disabled before. "How long have you been a nurse?"

"About four years." She looked over her shoulder at him, "How long have you been a police officer?"

"About four years. Before that I was in the Navy?"

She knew that he had been, but all the people she knew that had joined the military put in their four years and were out. He had gone above and beyond. "Did you travel a lot?"

He thought back to the ten years of service and the countless places he'd seen and the things he'd witnessed. "Yes."

"Where did you go?"

"All over," he said distantly as if thinking about them as he said it.

"Like where?" she encouraged, intrigued over that, she on the other hand had only left the islands once in her life on a trip to California when she was eight.

Steve shrugged, "Guam, Japan, the Philippines, Italy," he sighed, concentrating on the list in his head as he recalled them all, "Korea, Kuwait, Singapore, Afghanistan, Iraq, Spain, which is really beautiful by the way. All over the US, Thailand, India, Pakistan, Germany, Turkey."

She stared at him in awe, "Was all that when you were a Navy Seal?"

"Yes."

That intrigued her even more; "I've never met a Navy Seal before?" she smiled at him with a raised eyebrow. "You're a badass!"

Steve laughed, not denying it, he was feeling pretty good about the reaction he was getting from her about his credentials. "I wasn't born that way. The training is intense to say the least."

She held on to the pole and sat down in the sand facing his chair, "What did you have to do? I saw movies showing stuff like going out in the rough surf in rubber boats and having to get in them. Or laying down with your back to the waves as they crash over you."

"That was on an easy day!" he huffed. "The first seven weeks is like being in hell. It's when they try and break you and weed out the ones that don't have the mental strength to survive in the some of the conditions that we later face on missions. Week three is literally called Hell Week. You get maybe, MAYBE five hours of sleep the entire five days. They constantly have you moving, either working out, swimming or running. And don't dare fall asleep!" he laughed. "If you do then you're targeted for even more retribution."

"Did you ever fall asleep," Tyler asked with a grin.

"Hell no!" Steve replied. "You get locked in with an alliance amongst your group of six. They look out for you, and you look out for them. If I would have fallen asleep I would have blamed them, and so would my CO, they'd be treated the same harsh way that the one who fell asleep was. That's where the whole 'never leave a man behind' begins."

"Did you ever think about ringing the bell?" she asked, knowing that was the sign that you have given up and quit.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't. We all did at one point or another, but you just keep pressing on, digging down and finding that last shred of both mental and physical strength to keep going for one more day, one more hour," he chuckled, "one more minute in some cases."

Tyler shook her head in amazement over what he had accomplished, "I don't believe you when you say you weren't born that way. I think you either have it or you don't, and obviously the people who survive do. You're a rare type of human." She looked at him trying to picture the man in uniform, guessing that he looked impressive. "I bet it felt pretty damn good when you finished."

A broad smile widened across his face, "It did. Best day of my life."

It was the first time she had seen him smile; enjoying the view and the feeling that at that particular moment he was happy, in turn making her feel the same.

"What about you?" he asked. "Have you ever done any traveling?"

Tyler snorted, "No. I went to California once when I was eight, but I didn't even get to see Disneyland."

"All the traveling I've done and I've never been to Disneyland either."

"It's the happiest place on earth," she declared.

"That's what I heard."

"Someday you'll make it there, me too. I think it would be funner to go when you have kids. Don't you think?"

She saw the happiness that she had been admiring slowly vanish over that question.

"I don't think kids are in my future," he replied sadly.

Tyler stood up with the fishing pole, "That's too bad. I think you'd make a good Dad."

He looked at her confused and a little irritated at her lack of sympathy over his dilemma in this situation. "Dad? I can't father a child! Look at me?" he used his hand to display his crippled legs.

"You can still have kids," she announced giving him the same odd expression. "You still produce sperm at the same rate as you did before. I can't believe the doctor didn't tell you that."

"He did," Steve snapped, "but…" He wanted to say ' _father a kid_ _how and with who'_ , but felt this subject was going in a direction he didn't feel comfortable talking to a twenty something year old person about. What did she know about life and love? He felt one of those mood swings coming on. He wasn't really mad at her, he was angry at his situation. "I think I want to go back inside."

"Why? I think it's good for you to be out in the sunshine, and I also think its sad that someone who has so much to offer a child would give up so easily."

"I didn't give up! Look, I don't feel comfortable talking about this with you, besides," he huffed, turning the tables on her, "you don't know me. I could end up being a terrible dad."

Tyler laughed, looking over at him. "I had the shittiest dad of ALL dad's and I think I turned out ok, believe me, you would be fabulous."

He wasn't sure if she were being truthful about her father or just exaggerating for his sake. He wanted to ask, but then again wanted off this subject. "Can we just drop this please? I'm not exactly looking to reproduce right now, and besides, the prospect of finding someone to fulfill that request is pretty slim too nothing, so just let it go."

She went to argue that point as well but didn't. They had been getting along great and she didn't want to spoil it. She was on the verge of crossing that line, but decided to take a step back and abide by his wishes. "Do you think that little fish we almost caught is half way to Maui by now? We probably scared the bejesus out of him." She looked over her shoulder as she reeled in the line, hearing him laughing.

His laugh was just as pleasing to her ears as his smile was to her eyes. He wasn't the grumpy ole man she had predicted he would be. He just needed a firm helping hand and some much needed attention, something she found surprisingly enjoyable to supply. He was very likeable when he wanted to be. She was going to like this job very much.

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Danny poked his head in the door and smiled at Steve in his bed as he lowered the book he was reading.

"Is it safe to come in?" Danny asked cringing. "You're not going to throw another book at me are you?"

"Shut up," Steve replied, rolling his eyes as he set the book down.

Danny smiled as he came in and closed the door. "How's it going?" He glanced around the corner of the kitchen. "Everything going ok?"

"Everything's fine," he replied casually, squeezing the pink ball in his left hand that had become a permanent object, diligent with the exercises that Tyler had recommended, already feeling the benefits after only three days.

Danny walked over to him and bent over the side of the bed, looking underneath it.

"What are you doing?" Steve asked, questioning his odd behavior.

"You're in too good of a mood." He leaned over and whispered to him, "Did you kill her and hide the body?"

Steve whispered back, "Would you like to join her, just keep it up and I could arrange that."

Danny smiled; glad to see his sense of humor back. "Things are going well then." He stood back up and raised his arms out, "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Say it, c'mon, it's ok, you can do it."

"Say what?" Steve asked, knowing what he wanted but refused to give it to him.

"' _You were right Danny, and I was wrong'_ , just say it." He turned his head, looking around. "Where is Tyler anyway?"

"She's out back. I think she's cleaning that portable shower. I will say you were right with purchasing that thing. Oh wait," he said snapping his fingers, "that was Tyler's great idea wasn't it? Never mind," he grinned.

"That was a little funny," he smirked, walking to the kitchen, seeing her outside on the patio bent over the side of the tub cleaning it.

"Hey," he said as he came out.

She stood up with a rag in her hand and smiled at him, "Hi Danny."

"So you're getting use out of that?" he said of the bath.

"Yes!" she replied proudly. "He's been in three times so far. He seems to like it."

"So things are going ok?" he asked, closing the back door so they could talk freely. Steve seemed to be in a good mood but he wanted a report from her.

"Yes," she replied, leaning back against the tub as she rung out the washcloth she used to clean it. "He had his moments at first. A couple of angry outbursts, but I found if I just handle them firmly as well as him, he reacts positively to it. He even apologized once."

Danny was pleasantly surprised over that, "What do you mean firmly?"

She shrugged, "I refused to give in to him and called him on his behavior, not harshly of course, but firmly. He pouted for a minute but came around."

He was charmed over that, not knowing anyone who could 'handle' Steve. "He already seems better than he was. I'm sorry I didn't make it over here sooner, but we had a tough case. And I thought it might be good to let you get settled in without me hanging around making things harder."

"He has mood swings that come and go," she explained, her voice almost sad over it, recalling a couple. "I'll look over at him and he'll be fine and then two minutes later something will happen, or he maybe thinks of something and his whole attitude changes and I can just see the depression set in. At first he replied with anger, but now he just seems to withdraw. I try and divert it, but sometimes he's too far gone. I think he fights it too. He's not a mean person. He doesn't want to get mad and I don't take it personally, but sometimes I think he can't help it."

"He's not a bad guy," Danny said assuring her, "and I'm glad you don't take it personally. He's the most stubborn person I've ever met, but he's also the most generous and genuine. He'd give you the shirt off his back, and if you ever go to him with a problem, that problem instantly becomes his as well. I think you already have a good understanding of him. Not many people do. I knew you'd be good for him. Thanks for that."

Tyler smiled, "You're welcome. I love what I do and I love even more the progress my patients make. That to me is the biggest satisfaction I get from this job."

"Well you're very good at it," he said again. "So, what's next? Where do we go from here in his recovery? Any ideas?"

"I want to get him out and about," she replied as if she already had a plan. "Maybe start out with some hikes around the island and then eventually get out in the water."

"The water?!" Danny asked, shocked over that.

"Yes. He loves the water. What's wrong with that?"

"Umm…" he stammered, "I don't know…I guess I just never thought…" he began and then realized he was putting a limit on Steve's abilities, "You know what? I think that's a great idea. He does love the water. He swims, surfs, kayaks, and spearfishes. He's like a fish." He pointed a finger at her. "You do whatever you think is right."

"Thank you. I wanted to ask you about his medical recovery as well. Have you set a timeline to have the second bullet removed?"

"No. I don't think that's an option. There's a chance he could become paralyzed from the neck down, permanently."

"Do you talk about it?"

"Not since we were given false hope that it could be done."

Tyler tilted her head, confused over that. "What do you mean?"

"When Steve first woke up after surgery, the surgeon on call gave us the illusion that he could make a full recover from his injury." Danny's eye twitched, still angry over the incident. "He mislead us to believe that Steve could walk again after the second surgery, but he neglected to inform us of the risk it involves."

"There's a risk with every surgery," Tyler commented. "Some are simple procedures, while others are more complex like this one, but I personally have seen patients make miraculous recoveries when the odds were against them, and some who didn't recover fully that still went on to live extraordinary lives."

"So you think he should do it," Danny asked, looking at her like she was crazy, "and take the risk of losing everything?"

Tyler huffed, "You make it sound like he's already doomed and the decision hasn't even been made."

"Trust me, I know Steve and if the outcome was as described, he would rather be six feet under. It would kill him if he was nothing from the neck down."

"Nothing!" she now looked at him like he was crazy. "You think a man isn't a man, or a person isn't a whole person if they are paralyzed from the neck down. I've known some pretty fascinating and tough as nails men who are paraplegics and believe me not one of them considers their life worthless!"

"That's not what I said," he quickly retorted, trying to backtrack his words, "what I meant was…"

"I know what you meant and I think it's a shame that you put that on him. What if that bullet moves or shifts and he becomes that without the operation? What then? Do you just put the gun against his head for him and pull the trigger?"

"Whoa!" Danny stepped back putting his hands up in defense. "You are way out of line."

"No, you are! I treat him as a man; you treat him as a cripple. What did you hire me for anyway, just to feed him and bathe him until he's able to fend for himself so he can sit around the house for the rest of his life and read books? He may not be able to feel everything on his body but he still has feelings. He needs to get out and experience life again and not just physically. His spirit is gone. He needs to see the world from a new perspective so he at least has the proper mindset to make that choice. Don't you want that for him?"

He stood staring at her, suddenly seeing Steve's recovery in a whole new light. He sat down in one of the chairs at the patio table, feeling like he'd just got a hard punch in the gut, stunned over it.

"I'm sorry," Tyler said, leaning back against the tub, assured she had gone too far and maybe just got herself fired. "I just get kind of passionate sometimes about my work and I never have been one to be able to hold my tongue." She smiled sheepishly at him. "That pulling the trigger thing was a little much. Should I pack my bags?"

Danny looked up at her as he slowly smiled. "No. Jesus," he laughed, "you're exactly like him. No, you stay. Do what you feel is best for him. He doesn't like to be pushed, so be subtle."

"I know," she grinned. "We fished yesterday out back here and I decided if I can just get him excited about it he's on board. And he was."

"He fished with you?" Danny asked, shocked again.

"Yes. He even laughed. It was pretty cool."

"He laughed? Really?" liking the sound of that. "Ok, that's progress." He pointed at her as he stood up, "You defiantly stay. Whatever you need, I'll back you up."

Tyler smiled, holding her hand out to him, "Deal."

Danny returned the gesture, shaking his head; "I can't believe you got him out here to fish."

"Maybe you should take him out next time," she suggested.

"I'm not much of a fisherman, but I'd love to sit out here and just have a beer with him. We used to do that a lot. It would give you a day off too."

"I think that would be a great idea. He's free Saturday," she hinted.

Danny nodded, "Ok, Saturday it is." He sealed it with another firm handshake.

He came back inside and sat down on the couch across from Steve's lowered bed. After only three days he could already see the positive results of having Tyler around. He was shaved, dressed in a T-shirt and shorts, not covered by blankets but laying on top of them, and the puffiness in his face had gone done, attributing it to what Tyler had confirmed was too much salt in his diet. He was beginning to look like Steve again.

"You look good," he said to him. "Is she feeding you well?" now wanting to get his report of her, wanting to make sure he was happy.

"She's a good cook. I eat a lot of vegies and lean meat. Three squares a day."

"That's good. How about the rest? You feeling better about a woman taking care of you?"

Steve looked down shamefully as he squeezed the pink ball in his left hand, "The idea of it was mortifying to me," he shrugged as he looked back up at him sheepishly, "but I'm pretty much over that now. She's very professional, and ok," he caved, rolling his eyes, "I'll give you the credit of doing the right thing."

Danny smiled, but didn't gloat over the recognition. "I'm glad you like her, like I said, you look good." He motioned with his head to the pink ball, "How's the hand coming along?"

Steve was actually able to lift his forearm up just slightly, a big improvement already, "Getting there," he replied enthusiastically, showing Danny how tightly he could squeeze the ball.

"Pink?" Danny grinned teasingly.

"I know," Steve chuckled, recalling he and Tyler's deal. "She said I could have a more manly color when I wear this one out, so I'm working on it."

"She's treating you ok then?"

Steve nodded, "Sometimes she can get kind of bossy, but it's ok, I think sometimes I need it."

Danny leaned back into the couch, crossing his ankle over his knee, getting comfortable. "When's your next doctor's appointment?"

"Friday."

"Have you thought about the second operation? I know the idea is out there but we really haven't talked about it."

Steve's expression transformed to one that melted away any contentment he had been feeling as he looked down again, squeezing the ball, "I haven't even come to terms with this body yet, let alone taking the risk of making my life even worse."

Danny saw first hand what Tyler had been talking about. The mood that came over him was clearly depression, wishing now he hadn't said anything, hating the sight of it. He sat up and leaned foreword resting his elbows on his knees as he spoke to him. "Hey, it's nothing that has to be decided now, or ever. You're doing great. It's going to take time to adjust, but just keep moving forward. It may not seem like it now, but there's a light at the end of this tunnel so just keep moving forward."

"It's hard sometimes to do that. I get so fucking bored Danny I just want to jump out of my skin."

"I know, but Tyler has plans to get you out and about. If you have anything you want to do, just tell her. I think she's gun ho on just about anything."

"Out and about where? She hasn't said anything to me. I'm not sure I want to do that," his voice trailing off as the image of going out in public in a wheelchair flashed before his eyes.

"Its time," Danny assured him and then reassured him. "I know what you're afraid of, but I think once you just make that first attempt, you'll be ok with it. Just like with Tyler, " he smiled.

He grinned over that and nodded but the idea was still unsettling to him. He didn't anticipate or even think that people would point and stare, it wasn't that at all, it was knowing that there would be barriers everywhere he went; some that he could overcome, but others that he could not. He had extreme limitations in his life now and facing them was going to be harder than anything he'd ever encountered before.

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Tyler set the bowl of popcorn on Steve's lap and plopped down on the couch with another one on hers.

"What movie do you want to get?" she asked picking up the remote and pointing it at the TV.

"Nothing sappy that's going to make you cry."

Tyler looked over at him and huffed, "A, I don't cry over movies and B, I don't watch those type of boring movies anyway. Have you ever seen Predator?"

A broad smile broke out across Steve's face, "I love that movie!"

"Now that's a movie," Tyler declared, searching through the list on the cable TV.

"Ok, you're not so bad," he said, taking a handful of popcorn and putting half of it in his mouth. "You just jumped up a notch."

Tyler chuckled as she found the movie and pressed the rent button, setting the remote back down. "I also like Diehard and Con Air, does that help my cause?"

Steve lifted his hand as if showing her status level and then raised it up.

"Wooo hooo," Tyler cheered. "My goal is to reach the top of the totem pole."

"If you lose another one of the fish I catch," Steve teased, "then…" he lowered his hand down two increments, as if demonstrating her demise.

Tyler laughed and took out a piece of popcorn and playfully threw it at him.

He opened his mouth as it sailed almost directly into it, only having to move his head slightly to catch it.

"Wow!" she laughed, "Good catch but an even better throw."

"I bet you can't do it again," he replied.

She took another piece and took aim before hitting him in the cheek.

"Ha! You missed, my turn."

"Care to make it interesting?" she dared.

He raised an eyebrow in interest over that, "Ok, what's the bet?"

"We each shoot, the one that gets in the others mouth first, wins."

"Ok. If I win, you have to buy me a new squeeze ball and NOT pink or fuchsia or any other lame color."

Tyler laughed, "Ok, and if I win," she bit her bottom lip, hesitant before throwing it out there, "you have to hike with me up to Makapu'u Lighthouse."

Steve's smile slid off his face as he swallowed, "I can't get up there."

"Yes you can. I can help you."

"Have you ever walked that path before? There's no way I can get up there in a wheelchair."

Tyler rolled her eyes and huffed, "Chicken. You just know you can't beat me so you don't want to play."

"You're asking a lot more than me."

"Then pick something else."

Steve didn't even have to think about it, he knew what he wanted more than anything. "I want to sleep in my own bed upstairs."

Tyler opened her mouth to object that improbability but as crazy as that request sounded to her, she knew hers was the same to him. "Ok, she agreed. Who goes first?"

"I will."

"If you get it in then I get a chance too."

"Sounds fair."

The simple, childish game that had begun as nothing more than that had shifted and now they were both playing for something they each wanted badly.

Tyler sat up on the edge of the couch to make it fair and looked at him as she held her mouth open.

Steve shuffled through the bowl on his lap until he found a kernel that was just the right size. He took a second, taking aim and tossed the piece of popcorn, hitting her in the chin."

"Damn!" he groaned. "Shit!"

"My turn," Tyler said, performing the same ritual in her bowl.

Steve sighed and held his mouth open as she aimed and hit it dead center.

"Yes!" Tyler exclaimed, raising both hands up. She pointed at him victorious, "Get a good night sleep because tomorrow we're hiking."

He sat back in his bed shaking his head, pouting over the loss. "Fine, whatever. It's going to be harder on you than me," he grumbled.

Tyler smiled triumphantly as she faced the TV, taking a handful of popcorn. "We'll see."

He looked over at her, wondering what she meant by that. He didn't have full use of his left hand yet and in no way could he push himself up the steep incline of the paved path that led to the lighthouse. She would have to do the pushing, how was that going to be hard on him?

He had begun to like her and even appreciate her, but at the moment he became almost frightened of her. The enthusiasm she displayed in getting him mobile around his house was one thing, but venturing out in public was another. He wasn't sure he was ready for that, but as he glanced over at her while she took in a handful of popcorn, he was pretty sure she didn't care if he thought he was ready or not, she was and the hike was going to take place even if there was hurricane in the forecast.

He didn't know much about her, but one thing he learned quickly was that she was stubborn and had a conniving way of getting him to do things he didn't want to. He disliked that side of her, not able to appreciate it, yet.


	8. Chapter 8

Steve woke up to sounds of activity in the kitchen. He immediately sat up, stretching his neck to see the reflection in the mirror of the current dance performance that had become a daily routine for not only Tyler but for him as well.

She wasn't as creative as she had been the previous mornings, wondering if he had caught her on a more subdue song, or if maybe she was tired from perhaps a restless sleep. He on the other hand had slept like a baby, barely recalling even waking in the night, which was happening less and less. He attributed it to the workouts that she put him through in the evenings. At first he objected, but now that he was getting used to the routine, he had to admit it was helping his sleep pattern. He lifted up his left hand and squeezed it into a fist, not as firmly as the other just yet, but the progress he had made since she had given him the squeeze ball was impressive. He basically had both hands back now, staring at it with a slight grin on his face as he slowly opened and closed it without having to concentrate on the task.

The smell of pancakes cooking made his mouth water. He performed his second daily routine by glancing out the window toward the Ko'olau Mountain Range, getting an idea of what kind of day it was going to be. The visibility was clear which told him it was probably going to be a warm, cloudless day. He looked back to the mirror at Tyler's reflection and hoped that the crazy idea of the lighthouse hike was forgotten overnight. Not only did he have reservations about her getting him up there, but he had even bigger concerns about going out to such a public place and also to be reminded of better days when he had made that climb effortlessly in his old body, not this battered new one that was only half useful.

The morning ritual began to swiftly gain momentum as her head began to move in a circular motion while her body stayed stationary, but not for long. The hands came up and she whipped them to the left while her face and hips thrashed to the right, and then all switched to the opposite direction. She looked chic in the way she moved, the natural creativity seemed choreographed, but he knew it was just Tyler being Tyler, envying her spirit, wishing he would have danced more when he had the chance. The entertaining sight turned on him as he regretfully turned away from the mirror and looked sadly out the window at the mountains, fighting off that wave of depression that was constantly stalking him.

' _Anyway you want it that's the way you need it…anyway you want it…'_ The Journey hit blasted in Tyler's ears as she recalled dancing to this very tune with her Mom on Sunset Beach while they waited for the fireworks show on the 4th of July to start. She couldn't have been more than nine at the time but it was a memorable night.

She made her way back over to the stove, her feet and body still shuffling to the beat **.**

She picked up a plate and flipped one of the whole wheat pancakes up in the air and caught it dead center, repeating it with the other one and then grabbed the bottle of syrup and made a happy face on the top, smiling over it as she set the plate on the tray with a glass of milk and a bowl of fresh strawberries.

She came around the corner as Steve turned from the window and looked at her.

It was disheartening the expression he had, she knew he was fighting that demon that could rear its ugly head at the drop of a hat, wondering what it was that had triggered it so early in the morning. Nonetheless, she kept an upbeat mood, hoping to render the cause. "Good morning, Steve."

"Good morning," he replied with a forced grin, not wanting to bring anyone else into his dreadful disposition, why burden her and ruin her morning too.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked, setting the breakfast down on the table.

"Are you being sarcastic," he replied jokingly, as she wheeled the food in front of him, "because I think you knew I had no choice after that workout last night. Why didn't you just give me a sedative instead?" he teased.

"Because that wouldn't have been as much fun," she smirked.

He looked down at the food and couldn't help but smile over the happy face on top of the pancakes.

"Eat up, we have a big day ahead of us."

He looked up at her, "Are you seriously still thinking about that hike?"

"Yes! You lost. I won. Today we hike."

He picked up the fork but only toyed with it, not having the same appetite as he did ten seconds earlier, "Tyler, I just…" he hesitated staring at his food. "I just don't feel ready to go out yet." He looked up at her sympathetically, "Can you appreciate that?"

"Yes," she said, sitting down on the couch. "Only if you can appreciate the fact that it's not going to get any easier the longer you put it off. It's been thirty-six days since you came home. Thirty-six days, Steve," she emphasized; reminding him that he hadn't been out his front door since. "You're missing out and it wouldn't be right for me to allow that to go on anymore."

"Missing out on what?" he replied bitterly.

"Everything!" Tyler exclaimed, standing up as she raised her hands up in frustration. "Life!" She took in a breath and calmed herself, "If you can lay there and tell me that you are perfectly content with this one, then I'll back off." She put her hands on her hips as she stared at him. "Well, are you?"

He stared back down at his food, mindlessly dragging the fork over the smiley face as it became distorted. She had him up against a wall, knowing he couldn't say yes, because it was bullshit, he knew it and so did she, but if he said no, then he would be forced to live up to his end of the bet, wishing there was a third choice that would help his cause, but there wasn't.

The silence answered her question, "Ok then. We leave in an hour."

He looked up to try and further his argument but would have been talking to himself as he watched her walk away, noticing what he could only describe as a controlled anger in her stride.

He stabbed the fork into the pile of cakes and growled, disliking the pushy side of her that always seemed to be one step ahead of him.

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Tyler reached across him and into the glove box of her Honda Civic and took out a Handicapped Parking pass, displaying it on her rearview mirror. She then took the fist vacant spot marked with a painted wheelchair and parked.

She turned the car off and sat back in her seat and looked over at Steve as he leaned forward glancing out the windshield at the mountain in front of them.

He looked over at her and shook his head. "You're crazy, borderline insane," his voice stressing his displeasure over her plan.

Tyler laughed, "You wouldn't be the first to claim that."

She opened her door and got out, going around the back to where his wheelchair was attached to the trunk of the car.

"This is such bullshit," he mumbled, rubbing his fingers over his temple as the uneasiness of what they were about to do really began to sink in. "I'm not going," he said stubbornly between gritted teeth. "Goddamnit, I'm not going!"

His door opened as Tyler appeared with his chair, locking down the brakes, "Ready?" she asked, but it wasn't a question as much as it was an order, her glare saying as much.

"Fine!" he growled, grabbing the handle above his head and lifting himself up. "You like getting your way don't you?" he grumbled.

"Yes, I do," she replied matter of fact, "it's my current goal in life to see just how far I can push you."

"Believe me it won't be much further, either with me or up there," he pointed to the wide asphalt path that began a few hundred feet away and disappeared as it curved up and around the side of the mountain.

She was getting sick and tired of his bickering that was masked by nothing but fear of being out in public. His next move spoke that theory loud and clear.

"Wait!" he said. "Give me my hat." He pointed at the baseball hat on the dash.

She reached over him and grabbed it, dropping it in his lap as he quickly scooped it up and placed it firmly on his head, the brim down low.

"You won't be able to see anything," she commented on his practically hidden eyes.

"I've seen it before, hundreds of times." He turned his face away as if embarrassed while two couples walked by the car on their way to the path, laughing amongst themselves as they did.

Tyler leaned over and unlocked the brakes after he was settled. "You're acting like a baby. It's my first day out too you know and you're ruining it."

He opened his mouth to say something smart back to her, but closed it, realizing that she was right. She hadn't been out since she'd arrived; not that she couldn't have, he thought bitterly. He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself for a couple of hours, but she was steadfast in her job duties. He had to appreciate that, deciding to just keep his mouth shut the rest of the day and let her have her way. Besides, he was going to enjoy watching her sweat her ass off pushing him up that path he grinned sadistically.

Tyler went back over to the trunk and pulled out her backpack that she had filled with water and snacks, hoisting it over her shoulders and strapping the front harness around her stomach so it stayed snug.

She came up behind him and gripped the two handles and leaned over, "Ready?"

He shrugged, "Get to it then."

She took in a deep breath and then another one, a smile erupting on her face as she anticipated the hike, hoping he was going to get as much out of it as she was. It had been years since she'd been up here; the last time was with her mom right after the first separation from her father. They had spent the whole day up at the top, finding a nice quiet place and enjoyed the view and just talked about everything and nothing in particular. It was the first time that she had categorized her mother as not just a parent, but her friend too.

He kept his head down, but couldn't block out the warm breeze that ruffled his t-shirt and filled his lungs with the sweet scent of the native flowers and the salty air of the ocean. The higher they climbed the more difficult it became to clear his head of memories of a previous life when he used to run up this path for exercise. It was the very reason he didn't want to come. His chest burned with regret and anger as he stared at the ground that rolled by, unable to appreciate one single thing in his current life at the moment.

He turned his head to the side, speaking for the first time since they had left the car fifteen minutes before. "I want to go back."

His voice was frail and Tyler could hear in the tone that he was hurting, but she refused to let him wallow in it. She had a plan and it didn't include giving up until they reached the top. "No."

"Tyler!" he said, reaching down with his hands and trying to stop the movement on the wheels. "I said I want to go back!"

She leaned over and dug her feet into the pavement and pushed faster up the incline, finding a boost of energy for his sake not hers.

He pulled his hands away from the wheels as the pace increased rapidly. "What are you doing?!"

She didn't reply, not wanting to waste any energy on answering his ridiculous question. She was almost there.

"Look out!" Tyler yelled at the father of a family of five on the path that moved out of the way just in time.

"Christ Tyler!" Steve yelled, "You're fucking crazy! Slow down!" He leaned back in the chair feeling that at any minute she was going to crash into someone or perhaps roll him right off the edge and down the side of the mountain.

They came around a wide corner and she struggled the last hundred yards, her lungs gasping for air and her legs burned from the incline. She grunted seeing the focal point ahead, keeping her eyes focused on it until they finally arrived.

She turned his chair toward the ocean and stepped on the foot brakes and then bent over bracing her hands on her knees as she tried to catch her breath after the strenuous workout while sweat dripped off the tip of her nose. She used the bottom of her shirt to wipe her face off as she walked past him, continuing up the rest of the way by herself, leaving him there.

"Where are you going?" Steve yelled out to her.

"You want to go back, go back," she said, swinging the backpack off her shoulder needing a drink of water. "Or you can just relax and enjoy yourself for a minute."

A panic rose up in him as she kept walking, wondering why she was just leaving him there.

"Tyler!" he yelled and then turned, hearing the family they had past earlier coming up the walkway, all five of them staring at him but trying in their best effort not to, but the display of him alone there was just too unusual to ignore.

His heart began to beat rapidly and a bead of sweat formed on his brow, but it wasn't from the heat of the sun that was at his back, it was from the anxiety of being left alone and made a spectacle of.

Tyler glanced over her shoulder at him as she made her way up the steps to a platform area that showed off a spectacular view of the coastline and the Pacific Ocean. It was one of those perfectly clear days when the blue water met up with the horizon, and the naked eye was unable to distinguish between the two. The late morning Hawaiian sun that hovered above them was warm, but there was a steady breeze that kept them relatively cool despite it.

She stood at the top and leaned back on the railing, taking a rest before the hike back down, watching him intently as his body language showed the signs of his uneasiness. His shoulders were slouched forward and his head bent down, glancing every once in a while to his left and then to his right, as if just waiting for something or someone to jump out and attack, little did he know, she thought sadly that he was his worse enemy.

The vulnerability that engulfed him was just as terrifying as the night he was locked in the room with Pokie. He felt completely and utterly helpless as he sat there, wanting to scream out to Tyler to come back just so he could blast her for leaving him alone like this. He didn't find it helpful, but on the contrary he found it incredibly cruel.

She began to think that maybe she had made a mistake, leaving him like that. Her plan of getting him up there and having him experience the spectacular view would somehow inspire him, but the longer she watched him the more and more she began to think that maybe she had made a huge mistake by trying to force it on him, feeling his trust in her that she had worked so hard to gain slowly slipping away. She could almost feel his anxiety from where she stood, not sure where to go from here.

Her plan was backfiring on her, until something extraordinary happened that even she could never in a million years have planned or predicted.

The two men laughed loudly as they raced to the top of the hill, trying to cut the other off as they did. Their hands worked the wheels of their chairs as if they were actual legs, maneuvering in any direction they chose with just a simple slip of the hand. They both looked up in the process of getting their bearings when they saw Steve up ahead, staring at them with a blank look.

They both slowed as they came upon him, pulling their chairs in next to him. One had no legs below the knees while the other was missing one just above the knee, neither one could have been much older than thirty. Both had short crew cuts. Steve wasn't sure if it was because they were military or if they were simply following a social trend that was in style at the moment. They both also had incredibly toned upper bodies, which explained the ability to push themselves up the trail without assistance.

"Hey Bud," the one missing both limbs said as he parked next to him with a wide grin. "How you doing?"

Steve stared at him having to take a second before he responded, completely taken back that they had made it up there on their own, making it look so easy. "Hey."

The other one backed his chair up and swung it around so he was on the other side of Steve now. "Great day for a ride huh," he motioned with his head toward the ocean, "well I guess it could be a little cloudier, but shit, take what you can get huh?"

"What?" Steve turned his head to him, bewildered over the conversation. "Yea I guess."

"Bryce Barker," the man on his left introduced himself with his hand held out.

Steve looked at it and then at him, holding out his right hand to him, "Steve McGarrett." He noticed right away the Marine tattoos on his forearm, answering his earlier question about the short hair.

"Joe Tringh," the other man said, displaying his hand for the same gesture.

"Hey," Steve said, shaking his next, still harboring that baffled expression over their abilities. The same tattoo was exposed in a similar area.

"Look at this dude, man," Bryce said, leaning over to get a look at Steve. "He didn't even break a sweat getting up here."

"How often you do this trail, partner," Joe asked him.

"What?" Steve asked confused.

"We're up on this path twice a week. I'm surprised we've never seen you up here before."

"I don't…I mean, I haven't been up here in a long time."

"What other trails do you wheel?" Bryce asked.

Steve looked over at him shaking his head, "None."

"Jesus!" Bryce looked over at Joe with an awestruck expression on his face, getting a mirror image from his friend. "Damn, you got it going on bro if you beat this ride without even breaking a sweat and no training."

Steve rubbed his hand over his mouth as he sheepishly pointed with his thumb in the direction of Tyler. "I didn't get up here on my own."

Both men looked in the direction of Tyler as she watched them from just up the way at the lookout, casually waving to them with her fingers and displaying a broad smile, not having to hear the conversation to know they were looking at her. She was elated over the meeting; hoping and praying some good came of it.

"Whoa," Joe commented on the stature of the beautiful image of her, even from a distance.

"I'll say," Bryce agreed with his friend's verbal description, "Now that's wheeling in style. You do got it going on bro." They both laughed but noticed Steve wasn't as he looked at the same image, never really seeing Tyler in that way before, until now, wondering why he needed two strangers to point that out to him.

"Oh shit," Joe quickly backtracked. "Sorry bro, is that your wife or sister maybe?"

Steve looked at him still reeling over the moment and narrowed his eyes in surprise over that question, shaking his head. "No, no…she's um…she's my nurse," feeling a little foolish, it felt more like he was telling them she was his babysitter. "More like my physical therapist."

"Ohhh," both men said aloud as if just catching on to his status.

"You're a novice," Joe declared.

"A lucky one too," Bryce commented with a cunning smile as he motioned toward Tyler.

"How long?" Joe asked.

Steve looked over at him, knowing he was asking how long he'd been in the chair. "Just a couple of months."

"How did it happen?"

"I was shot in the line of duty. I was a Police Officer."

"You still are," Joe quickly corrected him. "We were both hit by a mortar while on patrol. That was five years ago but were still Marines. Ain't that right bud?" he asked, leaning over to get a look at Bryce, who reciprocated the statement.

"Fuck yea we are." He saluted Steve, giving off his rank, "Sergeant Bryce Barker, 3rd Recon Battalion, two tours, Afghanistan."

"Staff Sergeant Joe Tringh, 3rd Recon Battalion, three tours, Afghanistan" he announced, saluting him as well.

Steve smiled over that, understanding that military mindset, "I was Navy. Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett, Naval Intelligence. Three tours in the desert." He put his hand up and saluted them back.

"No shit!" Joe replied enthusiastically.

"Hey!" Bryce said, slapping the back of his hand against Steve's bicep. "McGarrett, I know who you are! I read about you. You got shot a couple months back while trying to stop a car jacking. That's you isn't it? I read about you in the newspaper and saw the news clipping," he leaned over to his friend. "I told you about him, remember, you made the comment about him being a Seal and a cop, a lethal combination?"

"Oh yea!" Joe's face lit up as the memory came back to him. "You're pretty high up at HPD. Holy shit! Yea, I know who you are!"

"So how you holding up throughout this new prospect?" Bryce candidly asked him, knowing first hand exactly what he was going through.

"It's a transition," Steve replied with a shrug, sugar coating it the best he could to the two strangers, not wanting to show any kind of weakness in their eyes.

"Bullshit," Joe said knowingly, "it's a fucking nightmare."

Steve looked over at him, his expression a cross between the shock of him calling him out and the relief that he did.

"The worst part is not being able to do a goddamn thing in the beginning," Bryce said annoyingly.

Steve looked over at him, the expression coming from the man wasn't annoyed but he stared at Steve in a way that told him loud and clear that he did know exactly what he was going through. It felt odd to him that a perfect stranger could read him that well, but he took the opportunity to ask a vital question.

"How long did it take before you felt comfortable?" he asked, hoping the answer wasn't going to be never.

"A long time bro," he said sympathetically, knowing the fear and range of emotions that Steve was dealing with, "but you eventually get used to it."

"Don't give up, man," Joe chimed in. "The fact that you're up here is a good sign. Keep pushing on, bro. They'll be dark days ahead, but there are also bright ones." He motioned with his head to Bryce, "It helps to have good people in your life that can help with that transition."

"Hell yea," Bryce agreed, reaching across Steve as the two men tapped fists.

"Bryce is a good friend," Joe commented, "he even introduced me to my wife."

"You're married?" Steve asked, hoping he didn't sound too shocked when he asked.

Joe smiled happily, "Three years. We have a kid on the way too."

Steve was even more shocked over that. He wasn't completely naïve to the fact that people in his situation did get married and have children, but the idea to him personally just seemed so farfetched at the moment he couldn't even fathom it. "Congratulations," he said, having a million questions popping in his head but left them there. He didn't even know these people.

"Like Joe said," Bryce added, "it helps to have good people in your life." He motioned with his head as Tyler came walking up to them, "Doesn't hurt either if they look like that."

Steve turned in her direction as she came upon them.

"Hello gentlemen," Tyler smiled standing next to Bryce's chair. "Beautiful day for a hike isn't it?"

"Yes ma'am." They both replied simultaneously while Steve just stared at her, feeling a bit uncomfortable in her presence after their earlier comments about her appearance. He'd somehow kept that image of her dormant but after it had been so blatantly pointed out to him, he couldn't deny that she really was pretty. Admitting it only made him more uncomfortable.

"I brought you some more water," Tyler said, handing him a bottle.

"Thanks," he replied, taking the bottle and looking away from her, feeling a little self-conscious but not knowing exactly why.

He made quick introductions to Bryce and Joe as they both backed up their chairs, taking their turn shaking her hand.

"You pushed him all the way up here?" Joe asked impressed.

Tyler flexed both her arms, "Girl power."

The two men laughed.

"You got my vote for Super Hero," Bryce said in a flirty tone and a nice smile to go along with it.

Tyler blushed slightly over not only the compliment but the flirting as well. "Why thank you."

Steve felt something stab at his chest as he watched the innocent exchange between them. He felt nothing for her except the respect she deserved for taking on not only this job but he as well, but he was shocked that he also felt jealous, not understanding why.

"Do you plan on making this a routine event?" Bryce asked her specifically, "Because I could use a hiking buddy once Joe's kid shows up, two would be even better if you're interested," he smiled.

She forwent the subtle invitation, too preoccupied with the offer for Steve. "I think that would be a great idea," she replied enthusiastically, looking at Steve for his approval as well.

Bryce looked over at him, "I know some pretty good trails that are a bit challenging at first," he grinned teasingly, "but then again it's more suited for a Marine, not sure a Navy man could make it."

Steve's expression showed his distaste over that. "You forget that you're talking to a Seal. I got it covered," he replied arrogantly, feeling a boost to his ego, something he hadn't experienced in a long time, but also getting an odd feeling that Bryce was not only challenging him to the hike, but for Tyler's attention as well, which he found surprisingly irritating, even though he had made it clear that she was just his nurse.

Tyler smiled brightly over this competitive side of Steve that came from nowhere, but loving it. "Maybe we could get your number and set something up?" she asked Bryce, wanting to get his contact information and not let this golden opportunity for Steve pass them up. The exchange between the three men was everything she had hoped for and more. It was like a gift.

"Yea, sure," he replied, taking it out from a saddle pocket that hung on the side of his chair.

Tyler motioned to Steve with her eyes to get his phone out.

He caught the notion of the glance and pulled it out from the pocket of his cargo shorts. "What's your number?" he asked Bryce.

He rattled it off and then looked up at Tyler with a wicked grin, "Maybe I better get yours too? Or is it Top Secret?"

Tyler smiled shyly, "It's classified," she played along.

"Hmm," Bryce said slyly, "I'll have to work on breaking that code."

Tyler chuckled over his sense of humor, liking that in a man.

"We got to get moving," Joe jumped in, "got to get home to the pregnant wife. She might be out of pickles by now." He reached his hand across to Steve. "It was great meeting you, bro, hope you take us up on a hike."

"I will. It was good meeting you too." He gripped his hand firmly, appreciative of the meeting. "You too," he said to Bryce, shaking his hand next.

Bryce looked up at Tyler, reaching his hand out to her. She took it but he gripped it ever so gently. "I'm looking forward to seeing if I can break that code."

Steve found him a little presumptuous over his forwardness to Tyler, but also loved the fact that Tyler played along, but gave him nothing.

"It was great meeting both of you," Tyler responded, meaning every word of it. The coincidence was just too great in her opinion to be cast off as just a chance meeting. She felt strongly that somehow they all were guided to this place at the same time by some higher power all for the sake of Steve.

The two men turned and pushed with their gloved hands over the wheels of the chair, gaining quick momentum as they started down the incline, but stayed in complete control of the speed as they made the turn around the same corner they had arrived from.

Tyler went to grip the handles of Steve's chair at the same time that he used his hands on the wheels, pushing out of her reach. His momentum quickly picked up speed on the decline, following the trail that Bryce and Joe had taken, not taking into consideration their experience and his lack of.

"Whoa cowboy," Tyler said, catching up to him and grabbing the handles, slowing him down, "you can't ride the killer bull first time out of the shoot, you'll get knocked on your ass, or thrown over the edge."

He looked over his shoulder at her, feeling pathetic in her eyes after witnessing the fearlessness and stamina of Bryce and Joe. "I think I can get down by myself," he said, not sounding rude or stubborn but really wanting to try it on his own.

"Steve!" Tyler shouted as he tried to take off again, reading him like a book and knowing exactly why he felt the need to show himself up. She stepped on the back foot brakes putting a stop to his ridiculous attempt to prove to himself that he could get down unassisted, which she considered suicidal.

"Hey!" he complained, looking over the side of the chair in each direction for the brake release when Tyler came around in front and squatted down, eye level with him.

"You are not going down this path by yourself so just knock it off! I know after seeing those two do it and making it look like it's just a walk in the park, you feel worthy of the task, but believe me…you're not!" She felt she might have wounded his already frail ego with her outburst, wanting him to know it wasn't that she didn't feel he was ever capable, just not yet. "In time Steve, plus you need gloves," she pointed out, "to protect your hands or they'll get chewed up by the time you got down to the parking lot from rubbing over the wheels."

He looked at his palms that were red from just the short distance he'd already attempted, glancing back up at her, knowing she was right but disappointed over it too. "I want to get some gloves," he requested, "and I think maybe I should start working out twice a day now, in the morning and at night."

Tyler's expression went from sympathetically concerned to surprise. "Oh! Ok," she quickly agreed, "we can do that."

Her face lit up over that simple statement from him, her eyes bright and the wide smile revealed that external beauty that the two strangers pointed out to him so elegantly that he had plainly missed. How? He had no idea, but now that it had been revealed he found it difficult to see her in any other way, she was forming into a beautiful woman right before his eyes. He felt the hair rise up on his arms over her happiness that was a direct result from something he had said, pleased with himself over it, and wanting nothing more at that moment on than to please her even more, making it his new mission in life. This day, which he had thought was going to be an utter disaster turned out to be just the opposite and she deserved every bit of the credit for it. He wouldn't doubt her or any of her crazy ideas ever again.

They made it down with little effort this time as Steve helped work the hand brakes, getting used to the feel of them, once back in the car he took a long drink from his water bottle, feeling good about the hike.

Tyler slid into the driver's seat after securing his wheelchair to the trunk and glanced over at him. "Well, you survived. How do you feel?"

He screwed the top back on the bottle and thought about her question for a second, pulling out the first answer that flashed in his head, surprising him and pleasing her with it.

"Alive," he replied soberly letting out a deep breath as if relieved over the natural feeling that had been eluding him for so long. He didn't look at her but sensed her smile, once again crediting this renewed outlook on his life all to her.

He glanced out the window to his right at the path he had conquered with her help, feeling it was the beginning of his new beginning.

"Thank you, Tyler," he said sincerely, mainly for knowing what was best for him and pushing him to achieve it.

The day had far exceeded what she had hoped for, enjoying this breakout moment with him more than she had with any other patient. She got a glimpse of the man he was before the shooting, seeing the courage on him as he surrendered to his life, choosing not to let it run him anymore, but making the brave choice to take charge again.

She had always been aware of his physical features that were undeniably visually impressive, but at that moment all his vulnerable and weak traits vanished, which in turn escalated his physical stature to something that made the hair on her arms rise up this time. He was handsome for sure, but once the whole package was put together, in her eyes he was undoubtedly the sexiest man she had ever met.


	9. Chapter 9

"Forty-three," Tyler counted as she knelt down behind Steve, gripping him around the waist, holding him steady while he held two long straps in each hand that were attached to the top of the home gym, stretching out his body until he was almost parallel to the floor, using the straps as leverage as he lifted himself back up to a kneeling position; utilizing this exercise to strengthen his core and arms.

"Forty-six…forty-seven…" Tyler shook her head in amazement as the goal he had set for himself a couple of days before was broken, hitting the fifty count. He went to keep going and she held tight around his body, stopping him, feeling the sweat through his t-shirt. "Don't over due it. We'll shoot for fifty again tomorrow and then go up five from there every other day."

She helped him lie back on the floor and roll over on his back as he stretched his arms over his head, relaxing after the strenuous workout. "Damn, that feels good," he smiled with his eyes closed, enjoying the endorphins that were alive and pumping throughout his body.

"You kicked ass today," Tyler complimented. "What do you want for dinner? You name it, anything you want. You deserve it."

He lifted his head and looked down at her as she used a wet cloth to wipe off his legs that were also perspiring. "Rice, chicken and some vegys," he replied.

Tyler rolled her eyes, "You deserve Pizza, pasta or a huge hoagie sandwich."

"Nope," he said adamantly, "It'll only slow me down for tomorrows workout."

She loved to hear that from him; pleased to make whatever he wanted. The past week since meeting up with Joe and Bryce had been an eye opening experience for him. He had truly come alive again and she was just now establishing an image of who he used to be before coming to work with him. With his background and what she had witnessed so far, one word described him, driven. Once he set his mind to something, there was no turning back and nothing would stand in his way. She admired that about him just about more than she did anything else.  
He reached his left hand out to her as she knelt down at his feet, using the cloth in her hand to wipe off the perspiration under his knees, "How about a hand," he asked, needing to sit up.

Tyler set the cloth aside and gripped his hand, pulling him up to a sitting position. "Nice grip," she commented on the once crippled hand that was now fully functional again.

He watched as she stood up and walked over to his chair, wheeling it over to him. She'd been a godsend to him over the past couple of weeks since arriving, appreciating her more and more everyday.

"You need a day off," he said to her.

She smiled, hearing it come out more as an order than a statement, getting a glimpse of the commanding military voice she had never heard before. "I had a day off last Saturday when Danny came over."

Steve huffed, "That wasn't a day off. You went grocery shopping, cleaned your car and then made dinner for Danny and me. I mean a full day off away from here. You should go to the beach, or go hang out with some friends, drive up to the north shore and see your family."

Tyler smiled again over his specific instructions as she bent over and gripped him under the arms, "Ready?" she asked, preparing to lift him so he could grab the sides of the chair. They had developed a surefire routine to get him in and out, which worked well for the both of them. She barely had to lift him at all; just enough until he could get a firm grip on the sides of the chair, and then he used his upper body strength to easily hoist himself up the rest of the way. It eased the strain on her back and didn't make him feel so helpless anymore.

"I'm serious," he said to her, pushing on the wheels of the chair as he followed her into the kitchen. "You should take off for a whole day. Go do something fun."

"This is fun," she replied, opening the freezer and taking out a bag of frozen chicken breasts. "You're not so bad to be around anymore," she teased, glancing over her shoulder at him with a playful grin.

"Yea whatever," he rolled his eyes. "You do so much around here Tyler, I just don't want you to get burned out. You need a day to just…I don't know…just veg out."

She laughed, "Veg out? Where in the world did you hear that one before?"

Steve grinned remembering exactly, "Danny's daughter Gracie said it to him when he asked her what she wanted to do for the weekend. We both cracked up. I've been patiently waiting to use it ever since, so thank you for that opportunity."

Tyler laughed, "You're welcome. You know you could use a day out too. You should call Joe and Bryce and see if they are doing a hike."

Steve wheeled over to the kitchen table where his laptop sat; taking a spot that was barren of a chair on one side so he could have dinner there, graduating from the bed. It was true, he had been thinking about the two men a lot, but when the idea crossed his mind so did Bryce's flirting, not necessarily wanting to give him another opportunity at Tyler, but then again not sure why he cared. She was his employee and nothing more, but the thought of her coming down those stairs and leaving with Bryce on a date sent him into a jealous fit, an emotion he wasn't familiar with when it came to women. So avoiding Bryce also avoided the possible date, which he was more than willing to do.

"Don't change the subject, we're talking about you," he said to her.

"And now we're talking about you," she argued, cutting a large boneless breast into chunks and then sliding them off the cutting board into a pan on the stove. "I think you should call them."

He looked over at her, hearing her persistence but wondering if maybe it was more for her benefit, feeling that fit of jealousy begin to surface, trying to hide it as he interrogated her over the subject. "You're awfully eager to see them again, or is it maybe Bryce you want to see again?" he asked, eyeing her back as she cooked his dinner.

Tyler glanced over her shoulder in his direction, "What do you mean by that?"

"C'mon Tyler," he teased her, "he was flinging innuendos all over the place, praying you'd catch one."

She laughed over that, reaching up in the cupboard above her head for some spices. "He was not. Maybe a little but…"

"He was too!" Steve replied a little too sharply in his tone, letting that jealousy spark his temper over the memory of it. "It was obvious he wanted your number."

She looked over at him again, surprised over his sudden outburst, "Why does that bother you? Jealous?" she teased him, focusing on her task again as she chuckled over the thought of Steve being that way over her, not actually considering it to be true, at least not in a romantic way. In her experience as a care giver, she saw Steve as being threatened by another man in a wheelchair exhibiting the freedom to act out in a way that he was too insecure at the moment to, it just cut even deeper she thought because the person being hit on was someone he relied on.

"No!" he chuckled. "I'm not jealous. Go out with him if you want." He was shocked that he said that and even more so that she used the word, 'jealous' in particular, hating that she could call him out even on this! He was beginning to believe she was psychic, but her weird powers were only generated toward him.

"Don't worry, Steve," she said to him, "you don't have to worry about sharing your time with me," she smiled. "Bryce isn't my type anyway."

He let his own insecurity get the better of him, wondering if it was because of Bryce's paralysis, not feeling jealously anymore but a hint of anger. "He was a decent enough guy, or was it because he's in a wheelchair?" he asked, his voice low and accusing.

Tyler stopped midway through stirring the food in the pan and turned her body fully around to face him, that accusation hitting a nerve with her. "Seriously? You think that? You think I'm that shallow that I would choose NOT to go out with Bryce because he's in a wheelchair?!" she practically yelled.

Steve would have given his right arm at that second to be able to suck those words back in, seeing the fury in her eyes over his allegation. He didn't speak; afraid something even more foolish would crawl out of his mouth, so he just shook his head, no.

She saw clearly the regret written all over him, turning back around to finish her work. "No is damn right! If you must know, I found him to be a bit arrogant and arrogant men turn me off." She thought of her father who was the king of arrogance with nothing to back it up. "Plus, I wasn't attracted to him physically and not because he couldn't walk! If he stood six foot three I still wouldn't go out with him. Physical attraction is the main key, at least for me and I didn't feel it with Bryce."

He sat stunned, speechless and all together in a fog, trying to get himself back on track wanting desperately off this subject that he had created for one reason and one reason only, jealously, deciding that it was an emotion that could drain the life out of you, hating it. He forwent the sore subject of Bryce and innocently focused back on the original one, hoping to ease back into her good graces, not knowing he was about to get clobbered again.

"Ok, so back to your day off. You haven't even seen your family since you've been here," he commented. "You should go spend the day with them."

He heard her chuckle under her breath over that suggestion as she turned the stove on. "No, that wouldn't be a good idea."

"Why not? You could even invite them here if you want. I could take off and go over to Danny's house. You could have a family BBQ. I wouldn't care."

Tyler said nothing, hoping he'd just drop this subject as well. It was crawling under skin more so than the Bryce one. She didn't want to be rude but wanted him to shut up about it.

"Or not," he said, with a slight bit of annoyance in his tone, trying to be extra nice but getting nowhere with her. "If I had family that lived on the island…

Tyler turned around, "My Mother passed away in a car accident when I was sixteen. My father is in Halawa prison for her murder and both of my brothers blame me for putting him there. There's no family for me to visit on this island."

The surprised look on his face was in no comparison to the shocked one she felt over dropping that very large and very personal bomb on him, wanting to cover her tracks but there was nothing she could possibly say to rectify what she just had. In her annoyance of wanting off the subject she had said more than she should have.

She turned back around unable to face him, feeling the impact of those words slam into her. She closed her eyes, wishing to god she hadn't said anything at all to him. He was a police officer and dealt with people like her father everyday. She could only imagine what he thought of her now, hoping he didn't label her as the same kind of scumbag that her father was and potentially fire her because of it.

He stared at her back, completely and utterly shocked over her confession, and feeling every bit of an asshole for not only the Bryce ordeal, but for now pushing her to go see her dysfunctional family and worse yet, practically shaming her for not wanting too. It went from bad to horrific in the blink of an eye.

"I'm sorry Tyler," he apologized, meaning every word of it.

She nodded her head, acknowledging him.

"Tyler," he said to her in a husky, remorseful voice.

She slowly looked over her shoulder at him as she turned around, hearing his apology in his tone this time, feeling it necessary to face him.

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely, wearing it on his face as well.

"I should have told you before about him. I should have told Danny before he hired me. I'm not like my father," she said sternly. "I'm not like my brothers. I'm not like them, I swear it!" Her head bent, casting her eyes to the floor as her voice softened. "I'm very much like my mom."

He pulled away from the table and pushed on the wheels moving closer to her. "Are you under the impression that I think any differently of you because of what you just told me?"

She shrugged.

"Look at me." That commanding voice reappeared, only this time it held more emotion than firmness.

She raised her head and met his eyes that held not an ounce of speculation or accusation; on the contrary they were concerned and sympathetic. "You can't choose your family, they are who they are, but you can choose whether or not you are going to become them. In your situation you chose wisely. I admire that, it's not an easy choice to make no matter what the circumstance."

Those words were so true. She just never realized how much so until they were said by someone whom she admired. It wasn't an easy choice to make regardless of what had happened. She was sixteen years old and had not only lost her mother, but also then lost her father and brothers too by her own conviction.

Steve broke the silence by letting her know there really wasn't a big elephant in the room separating them, nothing had changed for him.

He pointed toward the stove behind her. "You're burning our dinner."

Tyler's eyes narrowed as if she were expecting something more reflective of the conversation from him, and then gasped, smelling it.

"Oh shit!" she turned around and quickly moved the pan off the stove, taking the spatula and scrapping the browned pieces of chicken around the pan.

"I don't mind a little well done," Steve said.

"Good," Tyler chuckled, "it's not burned but has a good shell on it now."

"I'm starving after that workout," he added, going back over to his computer, "I'd eat sand if you put it in front of me. Which probably would taste pretty good if you cooked it. You have a way of making bland food tasty."

She smiled, knowing he was just trying to ease them back into a normal conversation again, thankful for it, knowing now he meant what he said, nothing had changed.

"How about I spice it up tonight with some jalapenos?" she looked over her shoulder at him. "Spicy food is actually good for you."

"You're the expert," he replied, as if telling her he trusted her judgment.

He glanced over at her as she cooked his dinner; glad there was no weird vibe between them over the unexpected conversations that he blamed entirely on himself for going south. He wondered why though that her brothers would blame her for their father's imprisonment. The police officer side of him wanted to ask her, but the gentleman inside of him told him it wasn't the right time, nor might it ever be.

He had grown to admire her not only as a professional but as a person, feeling that admiration growing wider over this new development, wanting to tell her that she had just moved up several notches on that totem pole she was striving to scale based on his approval, but he didn't feel it necessary to bring up the subject again.

He didn't bother her anymore about taking the day off either; he figured if she wanted one, then she knew where he stood, all she had to do was say when. But in the end if she didn't take one he thought selfishly, he didn't care; he liked having her around. It was going to be hard when she did finally leave, not only had he relied on her physically but she was becoming a friend. He was really going to miss those morning dance sessions too.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Danny knocked on the front door after opening it, glancing over to the vacant bed.

"Hello?!" he called out, coming inside and closing it behind him.

Tyler came around the corner from the laundry room carrying a basket of clean clothes. "Hi." She motioned with her head. "He's out back."

"How's it going around here," he asked as he went for the fridge opening it up and taking out two beers. It was a question he routinely asked out of obligation as her employer, but from his point of view things couldn't have been going better.

"Fine. He had a doctor's appointment yesterday. All's well. The wound on his back has sealed up nicely. They did some x-rays and the bullet hasn't moved."

"That's good…right? We don't want it to move. Any shift and he could lose all feeling."

Tyler nodded, "True, but the second operation to remove it is still a possibility."

He looked at her hopeful, "Did Dr. Carney mention another operation to remove it?" knowing how against it he always had been, wondering if now maybe that Steve's health was stronger that the chances were better for a successful operation.

"No." She set the basket down on the kitchen table and began to fold a T-shirt of Steve's. "I know I'm hashing up a touchy subject but as his care giver I feel like it's my duty, and well…I just find it odd that Carney doesn't talk about it at all to Steve. I tried discuss it with him once over an email to get the subject out there but he shut me down right away, stating it was an impossibility." She took her frustration out on a shirt as she shook it out angrily before folding it. "He won't even consider it."

"Well again, it is kind of a dangerous operation," Danny defended, understanding her argument but deep down inside, he was scared for Steve to go through with it. He was just beginning to get used to him being in the wheelchair but wasn't sure he could get used to him being completely paralyzed nor would he ever get over the loss if he died from the operation. He had already lost one brother.

"He should at least be given the choice. His doctor acts as if there isn't one. I think he's just afraid to do it."

"Probably," he replied. "He's a healer, that operation could cause permanent paralysis far worse than it is now."

"And it could also heal the one that is crippling him now. Don't you think Steve deserves to have all the cards laid out on the table and has the right to make that decision on own. It's his body. It's his life. I just think it's wrong to keep it from him."

Danny held the two beers in his hand and looked out the window, seeing Steve in his chair in the yard. "I don't know what the answer is Tyler, but Steve is aware of the second operation and I do know him and if this is something he wants, believe me, not you, me, or Dr. Carney will stop him."

She held one of his shirts and stared at Danny over that notion, unable to argue that point. She had begun to see Steve's stubbornness when he did set his mind to something, but she was sure that Danny knew that mindset in much more detail than she. She was all about healing too, and no matter how badly she wanted this subject dealt with; she realized then that it wasn't her place to push it. It was Steve's choice that she was arguing for and in that same breath it was also his choice to bring it up, not hers.

"You're right," she sighed, holding the warm shirt against her body. "It needs to come from him."

He took a step toward her, "You're doing an amazing job Tyler. I couldn't be happier with Steve's progress since you came on board and I know he appreciates it too. This is a very touchy subject and I it needs to come from him and if that day never comes, then that is his choice."

She nodded her head slowly at first over that, and then more convincing as the awareness of it sank in.

"Ok," Danny said as if bringing the conversation to an end. "Grab a beer when you're done there and come on out and take a break. I have some good news."

She smiled at him as she resumed the folding, "Ok."

He went out back coming up on the wheelchair that sat close to the edge of the grass. As he got closer he saw that Steve was on his laptop and when he heard the approaching footsteps he quickly closed the computer and looked over his shoulder, assuming it was Tyler.

"Oh hey Danny, what's up?" he lifted the top open again.

Danny stood next to him holding the two beers. "Hiding something, or should I say are you looking at something you would be embarrassed for Tyler to see? Something inappropriate maybe?"

Steve looked up at him bewildered over that question, until he saw the provocative expression on his face, knowing exactly what he was getting at. "There's something wrong with you," Steve said, shaking his head. "You seriously think I'm going to be sitting out here in my backyard looking at x-rated websites?"

"I'm just flinging ya some shit," he chuckled, "Here," he handed him the cold beer. "I've got some news for you."

"Oh yea, what's that?"

"Wait until Tyler gets out here. She's finishing up in there."

Steve looked back toward the house seeing if she was coming. The coast was clear. He looked over at Danny as he pulled a lawn chair over next to him and sat down.

"Speaking of Tyler," Steve said to him in a lower than normal voice. "I want you to do me a favor."

"Sure, what?"

"Tyler told me something yesterday that's been bugging me. I tried to let it go but…"he shrugged, "you know how I am."

"Unfortunately yes," he said, taking a drink of his beer.

Steve ignored the teasing banter, "She told me her father was in prison over at Halawa, for the murder of her mother, and her brothers blame her for him being there."

"What?!" Danny replied, shocked over that.

"Shhh," Steve said, using a hand gesture, telling him to keep his voice down. "I know, it shocked the hell out of me too. I didn't want to ask her the details, but it's been bugging me. Can you look it up for me?"

"How in the hell did that subject get brought up anyway?"

"What difference does it make?"

"Well it's not really dinner table conversation or something that is brought up out of the blue."

Steve sighed loudly, "I was pestering her about taking a day off and visiting her family, all right!" he replied testily. "I think she got fed up with me bugging her about it and she just blurted it out, not without remorse though, that I know for a fact."

Danny sat back in his chair and took a drink of beer. "That makes sense now. You certainly are the master at being a nuisance."

"Shut up," Steve blasted him. "Are you going to do it or not?"

"What do you want me to look up?"

"The logistics of the accident and trial in our database Einstein, what do you think?"

"What do I think," he huffed, "I think you're being a nuisance to me right now. No wonder she lost her patience with you. To tell you the truth I don't know how she stands you all day. She deserves a medal." He pointed at himself, "I deserve a medal for all the years I've put up with you."

Steve stared annoyingly at him. "Are you done whining? Are you going to do it or not?"

They both turned, hearing Tyler come out the back and close the door.

Steve looked over at him for his answer and Danny nodded as he got up and grabbed the other chair for Tyler.

His willingness got a smile out of Steve, but it quickly faded as Tyler walked up, being reminded what it was about.

"So what's the good news?" she asked.

"Have a seat," Danny said, showing her his chair next to Steve as he took the one he had just dragged over on the other side of her. "I got a call this morning from the Governor's PR team and it seems that the Governor wants to acknowledge Steve for all his hard work and heroism the day of the shooting at a banquet he's hosting next week."

Tyler's face lit up as she turned to Steve. "That's awesome! Congratulations!"

"Pretty cool huh," Danny agreed.

"Yes! A banquet hosted by the Governor," she eyed Steve impressively, "look at you, Mr. Commander, King of the island for a day."

Danny laughed at that description but Steve just shook his head adamantly.

"No!" he said outright. "No way!"

"Why not?" Tyler argued.

"I knew you'd say that," Danny chuckled.

"I know what those banquets consist of. I'm not going to get up in front of a bunch of rich and snobby strangers and get rewarded for a job I get paid to do. It's ridiculous."

"It's called being rewarded for a job well-done," Tyler argued. "You deserve it. Didn't you save two people's lives?"

"You're a nurse," Steve debated her, "haven't you ever saved anyone's life before? I don't see them giving out an award to nurses."

Tyler rolled her eyes, "I've never risked my own life helping a patient."

"You did that first day you showed up here and told me off," Steve joked, smiling at her.

She rolled her eyes again, only grinning this time when she did. "The banquet part sounds lame, but the award is well deserved and you should go."

"They'll be people there that you know." Danny said. "You should go and accept it with a smile and a handshake,"

Steve huffed, "Really? Why?"

"One, because you deserve it, and two, because the Governor is footing the bill for your recovery and maybe he wants to justify the cost to the money hungry bureaucrats that support him. It looks better in person than on paper." He threw his hands up, "I don't know, but he wants to do this so just humor him."

Steve looked at Tyler, "Justify the cost of my recovery spending?" he joked, narrowing his eyes, "how much do you make?"

She grinned, running her fingers across her lips as if pretending to zip them shut.

"Well?" Danny asked again.

"He's in," Tyler answered for him.

"I am huh?" he questioned her response with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes," she said stubbornly, "you are."

He looked at her for a second before replying. "Ok, I'll go."

She smiled, glancing over at Danny triumphantly.

"I'll go," he continued, "if you go too?" he said to her.

Tyler laughed as she shook her head. "Ahh, no thank you," she replied nervously. "I'm not the Governor's banquet type of girl. I'd be like a bull in a china shop and besides I don't have anything to wear to that kind of thing."

"You put all this effort into getting me back on track, but you won't support me in something as important as this?" he tried to guilt her.

"You just said it was ridiculous," she argued.

"And you said it was awesome. You don't think it's awesome now?" he questioned her, trying to look hurt over that.

She went to open her mouth to argue with him, but bit her lip instead. She knew he had her backed into a corner, cleverly trapping her with her own words. She thought she was good at that game, but he was just as crafty.

She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Ok," she agreed, "I'll go!"

He smiled victoriously.

Tyler crossed her arms stubbornly, "Why are you so happy about this? What is the big deal about me going?"

"Because," Steve replied ironically, "you forced me out of the house and up to that lighthouse even though I didn't want to go, so now I'm going to force you out of the house and to a party, even though you don't want to go."

"You think you're pretty smart don't you?" she laughed.

"Yes I do," he answered confidently. "You know you'll have to put on a dress," he reminded her, "a nice one."

"I don't have anything like that to wear," she proclaimed, "and I don't have the time or the money to go shopping for a formal dress."

"Kono will have something you can wear," Danny blurted out, liking this idea, especially if it got Steve to go so willingly.

"And if she doesn't," Steve added, "I'll buy you one and even have someone bring a selection to the house."

"You realize," Tyler argued, getting nervous over the upcoming affair, "that you are setting me up for failure. I'm a north shore girl. We wear board shorts and tank tops to weddings." She looked over at Danny fearfully. "I don't have to learn how to properly curtsy or anything like that do I?"

He and Steve both laughed over her naïve perception of the banquet.

"He's not royalty," Steve reminded her. "You'll be fine. It's just a bunch of his flunky's and some of mine too, so that'll even it out. Just think, you won't have to cook that night."

"I don't have to get up in front of everyone with you when you get the award do I? That's not part of your scheme is it?" Tyler asked, "Because I'm not doing that."

"No, I wouldn't do that to you. I just want you to go, have some good food, meet some nice people and…" he shrugged, "just enjoy yourself."

She realized then he really was doing it for her benefit. "Ok then," she smiled appreciatively, "in that case since you will be King of the night…" She stood up and playfully curtsied to him. "Thank you for the invite your majesty."

"Hey," Steve played along, "I like that. You should do that every time you enter a room I'm in."

"Dream on!" Tyler huffed. She started to make her way back to the house when Danny called out to her.

"Hey! I thought you were going to take a break and have a beer with us?"

Tyler turned, walking backwards as she spoke. "I've got work to do so I can keep collecting that HUGE paycheck every week," she grinned, "besides, I don't drink, but thanks for the offer."

As she went in the house Danny looked over at Steve, "You're welcome."

Steve tilted his head in bewilderment, "And what am I thanking you for?"

"Tyler."

A smile instantly erupted on his face. "Alright, I'll give it to ya." He pointed at him, "Only because I appreciate her." He looked back toward the house where she was, "I don't know what you pay her, but it's not enough." He looked back at Danny, his expression turning to concern, "Do you think her not drinking has something to do with her Father?"

Danny shrugged, "Maybe."

"She seems like a such a happy go lucky person, you know. She's always upbeat and works hard to keep me that way too."

"How you doing with that?" Danny asked him, not having witnessed the depression as much since Tyler had come on board.

"Better," Steve replied, looking out at the water. "I never thought I would ever want a woman carrying for me like that, but, it's different with Tyler. It's hard to explain. No matter what situation comes up, she always makes me feel like it's not unusual or extraordinary, as I would try and have it become sometimes. There's been times that I've been completely and painfully humiliated from what's going on here," he used his hands to display his legs, "but she always turns it around on me, either building me up, or taking me down a notch or two from my arrogance, or should I say self-loathing." He smiled recalling the accident in his bed he'd had not long after she had arrived, not cringing over the incident but being able to rise above it, only because of her words.

"Wow," Danny replied with a pleasing grin. "I don't think I've ever heard you talk about anyone like that before."

"She's extremely unique. I trust her." He suddenly thought about what that meant to him. There weren't too many people in his life that he trusted, and the few he did had to earn it over the years, yet he somehow found it easy to come by with Tyler, wanting her to feel that same trustworthiness of him. He also thought about the task he had asked of Danny, going behind her back to get details of her personal life was not being trustworthy he thought shamefully.

"Hey Danny," he said to him, "just forget about that thing I asked you to do about Tyler's old man. If she wants me to know about it, then she can tell me."

"Ok," he agreed. "You sure?"

"Yea, I'm sure. It shouldn't matter to me what happened, she's good to me. I'm thankful for it, for her."

"What am I chopped liver?" Danny joked. "I can't even get a thank you for bringing her to ya."

Steve's face contorted to a scowl. "I just thanked you a minute ago for her!"

"No you didn't," he argued. "You just agreed with me that I should be thanked. I want to hear the words ' _thank you Danny'_."

Steve gripped the wheels of his chair, pushing it backwards as he turned it. "I'm not going to thank you twice."

"You haven't thanked me once," he pestered him as he stood up, following him to the house.

"Will you just let it go," Steve huffed, giving the wheels of his chair another good push, getting further ahead of him.

"I will when I get my thank you. Why is it so hard for you to say?"

Tyler opened the door for him as he came up the porch and toward the house.

"Thank you, Tyler!" he said overly gracious, looking back over his shoulder with a wide grin to Danny. "See, it's not hard for me to say," he said, grinning widely at him.

"You're an idiot," Danny chuckled, smiling at Tyler as she helped Steve over the slight bump at the door's edge.

The rocky start between them had settled into a friendship that Danny could see was growing beyond the nurse, patient relationship, wondering if Steve's invitation to the Governor's thing wasn't so much for Tyler as it was for himself. It worried him just a little, that the ole' cliché of the Florence Nightingale effect wasn't coming into play. Tyler was attentive, had a great sense of humor, and motivated him when needed, which Danny knew Steve found to be her greatest quality. She was also a beautiful woman, natural and comfortable in her own skin, which was another trait that he knew was impressive to Steve, hoping this friendship didn't evolve into something that was one sided. He felt strongly that Steve was in a vulnerable position right now and the idea of him falling for Tyler scared him a little, mainly if it wasn't reciprocated. She was doing a job and he just hoped that Steve kept focused on that. It was a very touchy subject that he had no idea how to approach him with, deciding to just keep his mouth shut for now and see how it played out. He could be dead wrong and what he was witnessing was nothing more than just two people who admired each other and nothing more.


	10. Chapter 10

Steve finished buttoning the freshly ironed shirt that he had put on, pulling down on the bottom of it so it wore properly.

"What time is it?" Tyler asked, folding up the ironing board and putting it back in the closet.

"She'll be here in about ten minutes," Steve replied, glancing at the clock on the wall. He let out a breath not sure why he was so nervous. It was just Katie, it wasn't like this was their first date. He'd taken her out many times over the course of the last three years when she was in town; but his lifestyle was a bit unique this time around. For one, sex would not be on the agenda for the evening, the same as it had been every other time. They didn't really have an exclusive relationship so to speak; it was more or less a mutual friendship that consisted of two people who were career driven individuals that enjoyed each other's company, no strings attached.

He was actually looking forward to tonight's date. It made him feel normal again, as normal as he could feel being in the wheelchair. She didn't know of the shooting, and when he spoke to her the day before letting him know she'd be in town, he neglected to tell her then as well. He wanted to, but she was between meetings and the call was rushed. It would be a shock to her, he was sure of that, but then again, it was Katie and he felt strongly that their relationship would overcome this barrier.

He couldn't deny that on previous dates with her he looked more forward to the end of the evening that would end up at either her hotel, or in his bed, depending on which was more convenient at the time. He felt a stab of regret over missing that part, but it was replaced with the other half of the relationship, which was almost as satisfying, just talking. They shared a lot of mutual interests and outlooks on life and politics. They had great discussions, and even debates, but at the end of the night they respected each other and were there for the other to ease that bit of loneliness that accompanied people like the two of them who chose their jobs over love. He was counting on that same companionship tonight to ease another kind of loneliness that had been plaguing him since his paralysis. He needed her tonight more than any other time, just needing to feel normal and wanted, assured she would deliver.

"Dinner's ready," Tyler said, trying to hurry and get out of his way before Katie arrived. She scooped out two portions of the Chicken Parmesan she had prepared on the plates and put a cover over them. "There's bottle of wine on the table out back. And…oh wait!" she hurried over to the other side of the kitchen and opened up a brown paper bag, dumping the rolls into a basket and then took them out to the patio table that had a white linen tablecloth over top of it. "Ok. I'm just going to go shower and change really quick and I will get out of your hair."

She breezed past him with a smile, happy for him. This was just what he needed, she thought. "You look really good," she said, "you clean up nice."

"Thanks Tyler." He knew full well he couldn't have done it without her.

She ran up the stairs as the doorbell rang. "Shit!" she mumbled, hoping to sneak out unnoticed when they went out back. She was going to meet up with a couple of friends she hadn't seen in a while and catch a movie and a late dinner afterward, letting him have the house for the night if need be. She was sure she could crash at one of the friends if their date went late. This person coming over seemed like someone he was close to. Not a girlfriend, but still someone he was excited to see, and yet he was a little nervous too, which told her that he liked her, a lot. She didn't have to see her to know that she was probably beautiful too, knowing him and his ability to attract someone who was just as gorgeous as he was. He had only told her that this Katie woman was the CEO of a company in California that produced some kind of microchip for TV's and that they were pretty close.

If they were so close she had wondered, then why didn't she know of the shooting? But it was none of her business, she was happy for him.

She tiptoed across the hallway from her room to the bathroom, catching just a glimpse of the woman. She saw long dark hair and a tall, slender body under the navy blue low cut dress, showing off her cleavage that looked just as perfect as the rest of her. Just as she had suspected, feeling a hint of jealously over the well put together woman. It made her feel slightly less of one, knowing the only dress she owned was sitting in a closet collecting dust, not even presentable enough to wear to a formal dinner. ' _That was why,'_ she thought amusingly, _'a powerful woman like Katie dated men like Steve, because they could.'_ She herself could admire them or work and care for them, but to her, Steve was a man that was just as put together as Katie was, which is why precisely she was going out with friends, and the stylish one was having dinner with him tonight instead of her. It was a foolish crush that had no leg to stand on.

She closed the door and could hear them talking before she turned the water on in the shower, cursing herself for not planning the day out better so she would already be gone.

She came carefully down the steps fifteen minutes later; her damp hair up in a ponytail, carrying her shoes so she wouldn't make any noise. She glanced over toward the kitchen, seeing the two plates still sitting on the counter. As she came down the last step she could see Steve out on the patio with his back to her, facing the water. She looked to her right for Katie but saw no one, going to the front door and looking out the side window not seeing her car either.

She began to get a bad feeling in her stomach as she made her way into the kitchen, hoping to see her outside but Steve was alone.

"Oh God," she moaned.

Steve heard her behind him and closed his eyes, feeling that horrible wave of humiliation wash over him. It was gut wrenching but he refused to bow down to it and let Tyler see it. He turned his chair around and used every bit of self-control that he could gather up to force a smile.

"Hey, I thought you had left already."

She shook her head, glancing around the yard once again, hoping she spotted the woman.

"She left," Steve said, pushing on the wheels of his chair as he glided past her, running it into the rut of the door, stopping it in its tracks. He pushed harder but couldn't get over it as his sweaty hands slipped on the metal of the wheels. "You're going to be late for your movie if you don't get moving," he said to her, wishing she'd just leave him be as he tried once again to get over the bump.

Tyler came up behind him, grasping the handles of the chair, helping him.

"I got it!" he snapped, and then quickly calmed his sharp tone, not wanting her to know just how upset he really was. "I got it. You should really get going."

She swallowed down the lump in her throat, not needing an explanation to know what had happened.

"Steve," she began not really knowing what she wanted to say.

"Look Tyler, it's not a big deal. I kind of thought it might go this way," he lied; never having thought that Katie would dismiss him like she had over his condition. She was almost afraid of him, as if he'd turned into something…gruesome was the only word he could use to describe the expression on her face when she saw him. She couldn't get out of there fast enough, making up some excuse that work needed her, an emergency. He couldn't remember the details of the lie because he was too overcome by the fact that she wouldn't even look at him. She fumbled with the keys in her hand as well as her words as she apologized profusely for breaking their date.

He finally let her off the hook by telling her that he understood, and there were no hard feelings, that she should go and take care of business, but they both knew that he was releasing her from having to deal with the situation that was obviously making her extremely uncomfortable.

He tried to make eye contact with her again as she bent over and kissed his cheek, but she refused him once again.

He felt the sharp blade of the knife threw his chest once more, having to relive it. The pain of it cut even deeper the second time around.

Tyler could only imagine what he must be going through at that moment, trying to hide it from her, but not very well. She wished this Katie were standing in front of her right now, because she would have laid her out cold. All the progress she had made with him and this bitch in heels had come along and in one heartless instance cut him down. She wanted to cry for him.

"I don't have to go out," she said to him. "We can eat here and watch a movie. Or better yet, you can come with me!" She thought maybe getting him out of the house might be a good idea.

Her attempt to play mercy on his feelings only made the open wound sting even more. "No, just…" he sighed, "just go Tyler, ok? Just go."

"Steve, I…" she began when he cut her off.

"Go!" he shouted, "Jesus Christ, Tyler! Just fucking go already!"

She was blindsided by his temper, but only momentarily seeing his shoulders slouch, knowing he didn't mean for it to come out so harsh, but she obliged him anyway and left, not saying another word that could possibly make the situation anymore difficult for him.

He heard the front door close, regretting his harsh tone toward her, but he couldn't stand the way in which she was trying to make the shitty situation better. It only made him feel more embarrassed over being stood up by someone he thought he trusted.

It was a painful reminder and eye opening declaration that spoke loud and clear to him. Katie didn't see him as a man anymore. It was a horrible blow to his self-esteem, and his self worth, making him wonder what purpose he had now on this earth.

He pushed himself over to the fridge and opened it, reaching past the six-pack of beer for the bottle of vodka that had been in the bottom of the fridge, left over from Mark. He never drank hard alcohol but wanted to mask the feelings of insecurity knowing if he didn't do something to get rid of it, then the depression would set in and he hated those thoughts of hopelessness, feeling it creeping up on him as he took a long drink from the bottle, ignoring the harsh taste as it slid down his throat. He held the bottle away from his lips, catching his breath and then took another long swig, closing his eyes as the image of Katie's horrified expression flashed before him.

"Of course she looked horrified," he growled, "look at you! You're fucking pathetic!"

He held the bottle by the neck and flung it across the kitchen toward the sink. It hit the corner of the cupboard, nicking it before it landed on the edge of the white porcelain sink and shattered, spewing glass and vodka on the counter. He stared at the mess that ran over the edge and dripped on the clean floor.

Neither the temper tantrum nor downing half the bottle of alcohol warded off the depression as it began to set in, toying with him like a malicious devil, leading him further and further away from the light that held all the positives in his life, guiding him to a place that was dark and lonely. It was cold and his body shivered over the chill of it, fearful that there would never be anyone to warm him ever again, or to look at him in a way that could fuel his ego, knowing they wanted him. Katie proved that to him tonight. He couldn't blame her, she saw him for what he was, gruesome and frightening.

Tyler sat in her car at the theater staring straight ahead, blind to the people that walked past it and gathered outside to meet friends and buy tickets, her mind consumed over the thought of Steve.

A single tear slipped out as she reached up and wiped it away, catching the other eye as well as she looked down and sniffed, wanting more than anything to go back and be with him, but knew she wasn't wanted there. He was too proud to let on just how much he was hurting from the betrayal. She tightened her hands into fists, thinking of this Katie person again and picturing her bloody nose as she hit her over and over again. It was inconceivable to her that someone could do that, especially to him. Didn't she know him, guessing not, not the real him, she couldn't have known the man she did, no woman in their right mind would throw that away.

"She's an idiot!" Tyler spat. "A self centered fool that has no idea what life is about. She's going to grow old and die alone. I hope!" she grunted.

She heard her name and looked up, seeing one of her friends waving at her in front of the car.

"What are you doing? Are you coming?" she said.

Tyler hesitated debating whether or not to disobey his request and leave him be, or to go home.

"Tyler!" she said again, standing outside her car now.

"Ok," she yelled back through the glass with a disheartened sigh. "I'm coming," she whispered, not feeling that she had the right to disobey him. In the end it was his house; she was still just an employee.

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Tyler lay awake in bed, focusing on her mother's picture sitting on top of the dresser, but her thoughts were on the man downstairs, still reeling over the mess in the kitchen and finding him passed out in his wheelchair by the refrigerator, with three empty bottles of beer lying on the floor next to him. It disgusted her at first, seeing her father that way more times than she could count, but she understood Steve's drunken stupor as not one that was typical of his nature, but one that was carelessly brought on by the events of the night.

She pushed him over to his bed and somehow managed to get him in. He awoke once and looked at her with glassy eyes, his head wobbly before it fell forward again and he was out. She left his clothes on, but changed his catheter bag and then went to bed herself after cleaning up the vodka mess, cursing herself for leaving it in the fridge to begin with and not tossing it out with the other garbage in there that Mark had left.

She glanced at the digital clock next to the picture that read three-seventeen. The house was silent but she was as wide-awake as if it were three seventeen in the afternoon.

She sat up thinking maybe she should have left his bed more in a sitting position in case he vomited from the alcohol. She slipped out and wrapped the silky black robe at the end of her bed around her body and tied it.

She got about halfway down the stairs and stopped, seeing him awake as well. His head turned toward the window as he looked out. Even from where she stood she could see the disheartening expression on his face. She'd seen it before on him, but seeing it now after getting to know him tore at her heart, knowing by his reckless behavior earlier that he was hurting, badly.

She had no words that came to mind that she could say to ease him, but she also couldn't just go back to her room and pretend she didn't see what she did and try not to at least comfort him somehow.

His body felt numb to the existence of what his life had become. He tried to fight off the loneliness by telling himself he didn't need anyone. He never felt the need before to have a significant other, why should it change now. It would only complicate things even more. He had nothing to offer her anyway, why keep pretending that there was someone for him when there wasn't and never would be, that's the way it was.

He heard a sound and looked over toward the stairs seeing Tyler standing there, looking down at him. Despite his best effort to convince himself he didn't need anyone, the kindhearted image before him was a comforting sight, but also one that he knew too would be short lived. She would be gone soon and he really would be alone, day after day, night after night. He could almost feel that vulnerable place in his heart that was saved for someone special begin to close, sealing away any hope for a family or a lifetime partner. The finality of that wasn't as easy to accept, as he would have hoped.

He watched her come down the steps not sure what she could say at this moment that would ease the isolation that was engulfing him, but somehow she always managed to pull him back just as he was about to slip away into oblivion. This time was no different, but in her ability to achieve a positive outcome, her method took him completely by surprise.

He looked so beat down, she thought sadly; hating the horrible things he must be feeling and worse yet, telling himself. He had been working so hard and she felt he had risen above the crisis that was trying to pull him down. His mental and physical strength at times were inspirational. She felt together, the two of them had beat the devil and Steve had been on a new path that would lead him to happiness and a place in his life that he could be proud of again, but then in one quick cruel turn of events, it all turned on him, and he was facing that demon again that was called depression.

She wasn't going to let it happen. She had no words that would pull him back but she let him know loud and clear that she still had his back and once again they would rise above the flood and tread water together until it passed.

He watched as she knelt down next to his bed, waiting anxiously for her to speak and say something clever that would hopefully begin the healing process, but she didn't say anything, instead she reached out and slid her hand into his, holding it firmly in her own, knowing sometimes it was just the touch of another human being that was more powerful than any words she could have said to him. She was right.

The tenderness of it was like a warm body curled up next to him. A feeling he was assured would be void from his life going forward, but here she was, reminding him of what it was to be human, to be a man. The chill was gone and he could feel the heat rise up and his face flush over her unexpected technique, showing a side of her character that left him weak as that vulnerable place in his heart began to open again, warding off the feelings of despair and replacing them with hope. How did she do it, he thought astoundingly? How did she know exactly what he needed at exactly the right moment when even he himself had no answers? But she always did. The look in her eyes was gentle and didn't show any anger or disappointment of his earlier drunken state. He was ashamed for ever doubting her ability as a caregiver, and even more so for the word 'hate' that came out of his mouth when describing his feelings for her at one time. The insanity of the night slowly dissipated as his vision cleared; he wasn't just looking at Tyler anymore, but focused on the woman holding his hand, seeing the outer beauty that radiated from her, but it wasn't just her physical appearance that charmed him, it was because she was looking at him in the same way that he had wanted Katie to, only he found it so much more enjoyable from this woman.

Tyler saw something pleasing in eyes that in turn warmed her. He didn't have to verbally express his gratitude for the gesture, it was written all over him. He was a rare man, nothing like the ones she had grown up with, or even some of the doctors she had worked with and grown to admire, Steve was different and the more she got to know him the more she began to recognize new behaviors that were hiding inside of him, slowly peaking around the corner, wanting to come out but just needed a place that felt safe before they would let themselves be exposed. He was shy that way, not in the traditional way that you would describe someone as being bashful, he wasn't that, but he was timid with his feelings, she recognized it only because she was one in the same. Trust was something that was rare, but somewhere, somehow in the mix of caring for him she had begun to trust him, perhaps even fall in love with him, not sure if that was fully out in the open for her, but she felt safe with him, and she'd never felt safe with any man in her entire life.

He felt relaxed as the late night began to catch up with him. His eyes grew heavy, wanting to stay awake and enjoy the peacefulness that surrounded him now, but the same peacefulness that he wanted to relish was the same one that was easing him into a quiet rest.

Tyler sat contently watching him drift off. It was a rewarding moment for her. She had succeeded in carrying him through this ordeal, and was rewarded by him for allowing her to do so without any resistance.

She waited a few more minutes and carefully pulled her hand away. The feelings of separation surprised her, wanting to take hold of his hand once again and feel his warmth that she had experienced before, but didn't. She was dangerously close to crossing that line, needing to keep her feelings under control, but was finding it difficult as she looked at his face while he slept. Seeing him was one thing, but knowing the man behind the striking features only rounded out the package that was making her job so much more difficult and enjoyable all at the same time.

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Kono laid out the dresses on the bed, taking the top one off the pile and placed it up against Tyler's body.

"Hmm," Kono said, tilting her head to one side as she examined them both together as one. "Not sure about this color for you." She tossed it aside and grabbed the next one, resuming the position. "Too long." she decided instantly, tossing it aside as well. She lifted up a dark blue one that she had bought for a fancy bridal shower a couple of years back, but had since worn. It wasn't as flashy as the others but was elegant in the way it was designed.

"I like this one," Tyler announced, looking at Kono for her approval as well.

She smiled, "I do too. The color goes good with your hair and eyes. Try it on." She let go as Tyler held it. "Come downstairs when you get it on. We'll get Steve's opinion."

She went out and closed the door before Tyler could object, feeling a little uneasy about that request. She never liked being on display, even though most times in public with her natural good looks she was, even without her recognizing it.

"Well?" Steve asked as Kono came out on the back patio. "Did you have one for her?"

"Maybe," Kono replied, taking a seat in the chair that was next to his wheelchair. "She's trying one on."

"If not," he said, holding out his credit card. "Maybe you guys can go to the mall and find one."

Kono smiled, "You really want her to go to this thing, don't you?"

Steve shrugged, "I just think it might be fun for her. Good food, good music, "he nudged her, "good company. She doesn't get out very often and I thought she might have a good time." His intentions were just that in the beginning, speaking the truth to Kono, but since the ordeal with Katie he felt he had taken a couple of steps backward and his dependability on Tyler had changed. His already weakened self-esteem took a damaging hit that night. He didn't just want Tyler there the night of the ceremony; he needed her there. He never would admit it to anyone, not even Tyler, but he felt safe with her, needing her close to him, feeling a sense of security that she gave him, always there to help him rise above an uncomfortable situation. As long as she was there next to him, he was sheltered. He couldn't explain it, but he certainly felt it.

Tyler came down the stairs barefoot in the spaghetti strap blue dress. The material fit tightly across her breasts, amplifying her small figure in a flattering but not lewd way. It flowed out at the waist and came down mid thigh, showing off her long tanned legs. Overall it fit nicely, as if it were made just for her.

She came out on the deck and got two broad smiles from both Steve and Kono.

"Wow," Steve said, "I like that!"

"Me too!" Kono agreed. "I think you should wear that!"

"I don't know," Tyler blushed, feeling slightly embarrassed over their enthusiasm. "You really think so?" The uncertain question was for both of them, but her attention was on Steve wanting his final approval.

"Absolutely," he nodded, his eyes scanning her body and then coming to rest on hers as he gave her what she didn't verbally ask for but wanted very much. "Absolutely. That's the one."

She bent her head but he caught sight of her smile as she did. The innocence of it was charming, seeing a side of her that had never surfaced before. Shyness. She was timid when it came to her physical appearance, which he found incredibly delightful.

She couldn't have asked for more from both his reaction and his approval, giving her a boost of confidence. For the first time since the invitation was put forth to her, she was actually looking forward to going.  
"Shoes," Kono announced, naively missing the delicate moment that had passed between nurse and patient. "I have some silver pumps…"

"No heels!" Tyler blurted out, looking from Kono to Steve and then down at her feet. "I'm not good in heels." She looked back up at him regretfully, picturing Katie from the other night in her stilettos, looking elegant, but she knew in a million years she would never be able to pull that off, hoping that wouldn't disappoint him.

"With those legs, you don't heels," Steve responded. "You might need a stick though to fight off all your admirers."

Tyler grinned as she rolled her eyes, "Whatever," but on the inside she was as giddy as could be.

Kono was in a position to see the two of them clearly, and clearly she did. Tyler was practically gushing over his attention, and Steve was beside himself with pride over being the one that caused it. She wondered if Danny knew about this, or better yet, she chuckled to herself, if either one of them knew it!

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Steve dried his hair with the towel, rubbing it vigorously over his scalp. He tossed it aside and waited for Tyler to come back out to the bath and wheel him out so he could get dressed for the banquet.

He ran his hands over his hair, smoothing it out wishing he'd gone and got it cut, but then again he kind of liked the length that it was now too. It had been years since he could actually run his hands through it. People were going to be expecting someone else tonight, someone other than the man they had all known as the clean-cut, rugged police officer. ' _Why disappoint them_ ,' he thought with a sigh, cringing over the pitiful looks that were going to be common facial expressions throughout the night, wishing he could back out of the event, but it was too late.

He looked over as Tyler came outside, knowing then he could get through the night if she were there too.

"Have you worn your blue suit since having it dry-cleaned?" she asked him as she opened the bath door and wheeled him out.

"Shit," he recalled, "Yes. I forgot to have it cleaned didn't I?"

"It doesn't matter," Tyler said, draping a clean towel over his naked waist as she pushed him into the house "Even if it was clean you aren't wearing that one anyway."

He looked over his shoulder at her, "What am I going to wear then? Board shorts and a T-shirt?" he joked.

"No," she pointed at the dark Navy uniform hanging on the back of the closet by the front door. "You're wearing that."

He reached down and grabbed the wheels of the chair, stopping them. "No I'm not! I'm not wearing my Service Dress Blues," he said adamantly.

"Why not?"

"Because," he said nervously, "I just…I don't know. I just don't want to wear it."

"If you weren't in that chair I bet a million dollars you would wear it tonight."

"How do you know?"

"Because of all the clothes in your closet, this uniform and the white one are the only ones that are recently dry-cleaned and covered in plastic. And not only that, they are easily accessible in the closet to get too, which tells me you have worn both of them within the past year, maybe more than once. And since you are no longer in the Navy I'm also assuming you wore them to special events, like the one tonight, am I wrong?"

He couldn't argue with that logic, mainly because she was dead right, but it didn't change the fact that for the first time in his life, he somehow felt uncomfortable wearing his Navy Blues. He recalled the last time he'd worn it. It was the HPD academy graduation ceremony. He was admired back then both from the public and his peers, but he was a different man then too he thought sadly. The uniform didn't fit right anymore, not even if it were tailored.

"It doesn't fit me, Tyler," he replied quietly, staring at the medals of valor that he had received during battle, thinking how crazy it was that he'd made it through all that and some punk ass thief is the one that did him in.

"It fits fine," she argued, "you'll look great in it."

"Tyler, I'm serious. I don't…"

"I know what you're thinking," she replied stubbornly, "and I don't accept it."

He looked at her peculiarly, "What? What do you mean you don't accept it? I'm telling you I'm not wear…"

"Yes you are," she said, dismissing him once again. "You need to get over whatever it is that you're feeling about your unworthiness of being in that uniform because it's ridiculous. You earned the privilege of wearing it many times over. The courage that you are representing now in life I think is even more worthy than when you stood tall in it."

Her ability to support him was working against him right now. It's not that he didn't respect the uniform anymore, he did, immensely, and always would, that was just a fact of life, but somehow putting it on made him feel feeble and the pride that went along with wearing it was shattered along with his spirit.

She squatted down next to his chair, assuming that face-to-face position where she felt she was heard more clearly.

"Listen to me. That uniform right there represents who you are. Do you think Bryce and Joe would refuse to wear their uniform? No way!"

"But it's different Tyler. They were hurt in the line of duty, in war."

"And you weren't," she replied, gripping the arm of his chair. "You were shot doing the exact same thing they were, only in a different scenario. Nothing changed from wearing that uniform to the one you were shot in, they both clothed the same man. Why don't you recognize that? I don't get it, Steve. I see it clear as day."

He looked over at the item of clothing that had represented so much of his life, recalling the pride he had felt when he put it on for the first time, and even the times he had worn it to pay his respects to friends who had fallen in the line of duty. Those are the people that he valued so much more than his pride, or even Tyler's encouragement.

"You'll look great in it," she said. "You're going to be recognized tonight as the hero that you are, and you're going to dress for the occasion."

He looked up at her appreciatively, not thanking her verbally but sincerely appreciative for reminding him of the importance of that uniform, and who he was really representing when wearing it. He wondered too if she truly knew who the hero was in that room, at least in his eyes.

"Ok," he nodded, "I'll wear it."

She smiled victoriously but not for herself, for him.

Two hours later she came down the steps as Steve and Danny waited in the family room, drinking a beer and talking over a case that the team was currently working.

They both looked up, pleasantly surprised at the vision before them.

"Wow," Danny said, raising his drink to her. "You clean up nice."

"I can't wear this dress with these shoes," Tyler nervously complained, staring down at her silver sandals, the only decent pair of shoes she owned, but were still considered beachwear, "I look ridiculous."

"No you don't," Steve replied calmly, "you look great, and you're wearing exactly what you have on."

"I can't," she said anxiously. "It doesn't…"

"I don't accept that," he cut her off, using her own method of reason. "You look beautiful Tyler. Why don't you recognize that? I see it clear as day. What about you Danny?"

"Looks pretty clear to me." He was a little taken back over the word beautiful used, not that he didn't agree with the description being used, but that Steve had chosen that word. It was generally something you said to a significant other.

"You guys are just being nice," she blushed slightly, coming off the last step.

"And you need to get over whatever it is that you're feeling about your unworthiness because it's ridiculous. Shoes or no shoes, you stand above everyone else in that dress."

Danny shot him a surprised look as Tyler blushed deeper and rolled her eyes at him.

"Ok, ok," she chuckled, "I get it. I'll wear the shoes."

"I'm just saying," Steve said.

"You're just saying," Tyler mocked him. "You're pulling a Tyler on me," she joked.

"Always works for me." He smiled up at her as she walked by him.

She put a hand on his shoulder as she passed, "And I told you you'd look great in that uniform. Fits like a glove."

He did feel good in it, glad now that she had talked him into it. He leaned over to Danny as she went in the kitchen. "She always has to get the last word in."

"Sounds like someone I know."

"Who?"

"Who do you think?"

"I don't know," Steve said casually, tucking his beer securely between his legs "I can't think of anyone that's like that." He pushed away from him into the kitchen before he could reply, therefore getting the last word in.

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Danny held the chair still as Steve grabbed the handle above the car door with his right hand and used it to help lift himself up and move from the front seat of Tyler's car to his wheelchair.

"You got it?" Danny asked, wanting to know if he needed assistance.

"Yes," Steve replied, plopping down into it. He lifted his right leg under the knee and put it in a more suitable position once he got seated.

Tyler came around from the driver side setting her purse down on the hood. She leaned over Steve and grabbed the bottom of his uniform jacket at the waist on either side and yanked down on it, "Lift up," she said to him.

Steve rested his elbows on the arms of the chair and lifted his body up as she pulled down again on the jacket.

"Ok," she said as he lowered himself down, siting on the tail of his coat to keep it from bunching up around his shoulders. She took a step back looking him over and smiled. "You look really good."

He took in a deep breath and replied as he let it out, "Thanks."

"Don't be nervous," she said to him as she picked her purse back up again, trying to take her own advice.

"It's going to be fine," Danny encouraged. "I'll meet you inside after I park the car."

Tyler took his place behind Steve as Danny jogged around the other side of the car and got in. As he drove away, the front entrance to the event became visible. They both watched as several well-dressed guests walked in, hearing laughter from indecipherable conversations going on between the happy attendees.

Neither Steve nor Tyler were laughing, but dealing in their own way with the set of nerves that arose inside of them.

She put a hand on his shoulder to calm him and looked down as he reached up and put one of his over top of hers, hoping to do the same for her.

"You look like a million bucks Tyler. You'll stand out tonight that's for sure."

She squeezed his shoulder, "Thank you. Are you ready?"

He didn't reply feeling the anxiety of the evening begin to get the better of him as a couple of fellow officers and their wives entered the building.

She felt the muscles in his shoulder tighten, sensing his apprehension. "It's going to be fine," she told him once again.

"Tyler," he said, holding firmly to her hand before she could pull it away, "Will you stick close to me tonight?"

His voice expressed his need for that request. She was more than happy to oblige him, needing him just as close for her own well-being.

"Of course," she replied, "like super glue."

He smiled, feeling more at ease already. "Ok then. Let's crash this party."

Tyler chuckled as she put both hands on the handles, "Yes Sir Commander."

A guest at the door greeted them before even entering.

Steve introduced Tyler to one of the Governor's secretaries, who was clearly uncomfortable by the meeting, looking him straight in the eye even though it was obvious to both he and Tyler that she was doing her best not to look down at the rest of him.

The woman and Steve both took up the airtime by making small talk, in the mean time she desperately tried to avoid the fact that he was in a wheelchair and he did his best to help her with that.

Tyler smiled sweetly as the woman expressed her pleasure over meeting her and then hurried off into the crowd as they entered the event at the same time.

"Shit," Steve mumbled under his breath, "If that's going to be the mentality of the evening, then get me the hell out of here."

Tyler leaned down to him, "You have to expect that type awkwardness from some people in the beginning, but you handled it very well." She put that reassuring hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "To tell you the truth, by the twinkle in her eyes as she looked at you, I'm pretty sure her uneasiness was because of the handsome man in uniform."

Steve let out an unsuspecting laugh over that, "Oh god, you're going to brag over the victory of getting me in this uniform every chance you can get, aren't you?"

"Yes I am," she whispered to him.

He looked up over his shoulder at her, feeling a wave of contentment wash over him. Time wise he barely knew her, but somehow, somewhere over the course of the last few weeks he had grown to appreciate her in ways that he never thought he would. At times, like now, he could feel the resistance that she had gracefully managed to build up in him over his dilemma, helping him work through trying times, preventing him from slipping down that steep slope that had so many times swallowed him up at the bottom. Her presence sometimes was all it took, but her gentle touch could literally transform him and carry him over any obstacle that was in his way.

Danny caught up with them as they eventually made their way to the assigned table, stopping occasionally to shake someone's hand as they expressed their pleasure over seeing him and congratulating him on the award; while a few others stared; not yet knowing the extent of his condition until that very moment. He tried not to let it bother him, keeping his focus straight ahead and his posture just as straight as if he were standing at attention, taking Tyler's welcomed advice and letting his uniform speak for the man.

Kono and Chin were already seated, standing as they came forward, clapping their hands and then bowed to him.

"Oh man," Steve smiled, feeling exactly what they were trying to achieve, embarrassed but then again pleased over their recognition. "Knock it off."

"We're just recognizing our Commander and Chief," Kono announced.

"Man of the hour," Chin clapped again.

"There's about seven other men and women of the hour here tonight," Steve reminded them.

"Yea," Kono pointed at him with a pleasing smile, "but none of them look as good in a uniform as you do. You're looking sharp boss. That was a good choice to wear tonight."

Tyler stepped back from the chair and let out a laugh that even startled the next table over. She covered her mouth trying to tone it down as she looked down at Steve. She couldn't see his face but knew he was smiling as he shook his head, assured that Tyler was gloating over her victory once again.

"She told you to say that, didn't she?" he said to Kono.

"Who?" Kono asked bewildered.

"Her!" Steve declared, pointing with his thumb over his shoulder at Tyler. He looked up at her as she came and stood next to him. "You are conniving," he joked.

"I swear!" Tyler giggled, "I never said anything to her about it."

"About what?" Kono asked, looking at the others for clarification.

Tyler took a seat at the elegantly set table complete with a white linen tablecloth and decorative leis in the middle. "Steve is just being paranoid," she replied glancing over at him with a wicked grin.

He wheeled himself up to the vacant spot next to her that Danny provided by pulling the chair away. "She's trying to mess with me," he joked, gently nudging her arm.

"People speak the truth when they see it," Tyler shrugged. "You do look sharp tonight."

"Yea," Danny chimed in, sitting in the chair next to him, "I almost felt the need to salute, until I got a look at Tyler in that dress. I think she's got you beat tonight as far as looking good, partner."

Steve couldn't have agreed more, enjoying her reaction that turned her cheeks slightly red over the admiration from the others that agreed with Danny's compliment.

"Thank you," she replied sincerely. "This place is really nice. I've never been to a party thrown by the Governor before. I'm sure you guys are all used to this, but I'm a little overwhelmed with it all." She turned and looked at the neighboring tables, all of which were occupied with men in tux's and women dressed to the nine, some decorated with expensive jewelry, standing out as the high society members of Oahu. "It's kind of intimidating," she said quietly.

"You belong here as much as anyone else, Tyler," she heard Steve say.

She smiled at him, thinking how silly she was for feeling nervous when in fact he was the center of attention, taking notes on how well he was handling that role too on this particular evening. She saw the reactions on people's faces as she pushed him through the crowded room, yet he never flinched or showed one ounce of the tension that she knew he was harboring inside. ' _Perhaps_ ', she wondered curiously, ' _it's me that is keeping him stable the same as he is keeping me?_ ' It was a pleasant thought, especially after his request of her sticking close to him, but after witnessing his ability to work the crowd as he had, she felt his request for her to stay close was almost a request for her benefit, not so much his. It was beginning to feel that way, because as long as she was next to him, she felt she belonged. Glad now that she had come.

"Have you figured out what you're going to say yet?" she asked him.

His expression turned to a serious alarm. "You didn't bring my speech?"

Tyler felt her heart skip. "What speech?! You said you were going to wing it?"

"The one on the table by my bed. I sat up most of the night writing it."

She could feel a cold chill run over her until a smile slowly erupted on his face and he playfully winked at her.

"Oh my god!" She reached over and slapped the back of her hand across his bicep, "That is so mean!" She put a hand over her heart, "You scared me to death."

Danny laughed, "Steve never prepares for these things, yet it always sounds like he has. He's a good bull shitter."

"You just tell them what they want to hear," he replied.

"And sometimes what they don't," Chin added with a grin. "Remember that award they gave us a couple of years ago for closing that cold case?"

"Oh yea," Kono laughed. "I thought we were all fired for sure."

"It wasn't that bad," Steve defended himself.

"Not that bad?!" Danny huffed. "You practically insulted the entire room, many of whom I believe are here tonight as well."

Tyler's mouth came open in amazement, "What did you say?"

Steve squirmed a little in his chair, recalling some of the harsh remarks in his acceptance speech, "I just told them the truth and it worked."

Danny leaned over Steve; speaking to Tyler with his voice down, assured the table next to them did in fact occupy two couples that were at that event. "He said he hoped they were enjoying their three hundred dollar plate of Loco Moco, and the reason it took so long to clear the case was because HPD had limited resources because more money was spent on handing out wooden plaques than actually solving crimes. Next time write a check for better law enforcement equipment rather than food or you might be the victim that has to wait four years for your assailant to be apprehended."

Tyler bit her bottom lip as she grinned, eyes wide, looking at Steve, "Wow! You said that?!"

"I didn't say that," he argued, "you're exaggerating."

"That is exactly what you said," Danny argued, "I remember every word because if we got fired I was going to have it written up on a plaque and give it to you."

Tyler and the others burst out laughing; even Steve chuckled over the memory of it. "We weren't going to get fired," he said irritably, "and did it not work?" he pointed out to him, "Our budget went up by almost a hundred grand that next year."

Danny sat back crossing his arms, "That it did. That it did."

An hour in Tyler had listened and watched with great pleasure and amusement as the four of them talked and laughed openly with each other. There really was a tight bond amongst them and she was grateful for it, not seeing Steve so relaxed ever before, despite his apprehensions of attending the event. He was gracious and introduced her to every person that came up and greeted him. Most just wanting to congratulate him on the award and wish him well, while others left a business card at the table, mainly for Tyler's attention, demanding that she call them if ever he needed anything that their business could provide, free of charge. She was amazed at the outpouring of gratitude that he did receive, wondering what it was that he had been so nervous about.

"You are a very respected individual," Tyler said to him as she took a bite of her dinner that consisted of baked Salmon, mashed potatoes and asparagus.

Steve laid his linen napkin over his plate, finishing just before her, reaching for his beer. "They feel sorry for me," he replied, washing down the bitter taste in his mouth over that.

Tyler looked at him perplexed, "Are you serious with that? Come on…you really don't believe that?"

He stared at his beer running his fingers up and down the cold glass, "I don't know, I don't think they see me the same way anymore." He looked at her briefly, catching just a hint of her light blue eyes before he focused on his beer again. "I don't want this to sound arrogant or narcissist but I always felt comfortable in my own skin. Other people never intimidated me. I had confidence in myself but not in an egotistical way, at least I hope not, and I think that's what people respected."

"You still are that way," she said to him," whether you believe it or not. The first time I walked into your house and met you I witnessed it first hand. You have an amazing presence that just oozes with confidence. The people that know you," she motioned to his team at the table who were engaged in their own conversations, "they follow you because you've proved your confidence isn't arrogance that's gone awry, and the others here in this room, they look up to you because you were born with the one thing they all wished they had, the courage to stand and fight the fights they are too scared to confront, you don't back down, no matter what the odds. Don't tell me they feel sorry for you, they admire the shit out of you."

A room full of people could have said that to him, even Danny, and it would have meant nothing, but coming from Tyler it somehow meant the world to him. He didn't care about everyone else in that room, realizing he wanted her respect out of everyone else's for reasons he couldn't quite grasp at the moment, but he did.

He looked back over at her again but didn't turn away this time and neither did she, standing her ground, famously ready to back up her belief if he chose to argue. Her next words came out before she even had a chance to decipher the aftereffect.

"Those are the exact same reasons why I too admire you and why I enjoy being with you more than anyone I've ever known."

Those words rippled through him, stirring up feelings inside of him that he thought were dead due to his paralysis, but like so many other misbeliefs in his current life, Tyler proved this one wrong as well. He hadn't realized it until just then, but gaining her respect was exactly what he had been trying to accomplish, and after hearing her confession, he was thrilled to know that he'd succeeded.

He felt luckier than he had in months, maybe even years. She wasn't just his nurse sitting next to him anymore that he was staring at. She wasn't just a woman whose presence had materialized into a friendship. The background noise faded as well as the other people in the room around them and it was as if it were just the two of them, side by side. In the strangest way he felt that's the way it should be. In that split second of clarity the sheltered world he'd been hiding in exploded, grasping then that he didn't want her to accompany him to the event for her benefit or even his, he wanted her there because he simply didn't want to be away from her even for one night. He also finally admitted to himself that he didn't want to be alone, nor was it Katie that he wanted to have that romantic dinner with. Her rejection had stung, that was true, but it was all but forgotten after it was Tyler that had treated the wound with nothing more than a small gesture that healed him instantaneously. He looked into her eyes and felt something stirring inside of him, quickly gaining momentum as it broke down walls he had built up to protect himself from the precise feelings that were leveling him at the moment.

It took every ounce of restraint he had not to lean over and kiss her.

A wave of dread suddenly replaced the good feeling as the reality of his life brought everything to a screeching halt. He turned away from her, misdirecting the romantic thoughts of being with her that were coursing through his head. ' _Stop!_ ' he scolded himself. ' _What are you thinking?! Are you fucking crazy?!'_ The room wasn't vacant of just the two of them anymore; instead he felt it begin to spin. He was trapped in a body that emotionally wanted something from her but wasn't physically capable of achieving. The reality of that was like a punch in the chest. How did he let himself get here, trying with all his might to control the feelings that were rising up faster than he could push them back down again. ' _There are about a million reasons you need to get yourself under control,_ ' he thought, ' _she's off limits on so many levels you can't even name them all_ ,'…were his last thoughts before he felt a gentle hand on the back of his wrist and his name spoken in a way that showed her true depth for his well-being.

She was like his guardian angel that just so happened to look like one as well. He was trapped, unable to snub the feelings for her that were growing by the second, having no way of stopping them. It was both exhilarating and frightening at the same time, wondering where they could go from here.

"Steve," Tyler said, concerned over his sudden change in behavior, afraid he might be experiencing a bought of depression that had been eluding him lately. But when his head turned and he looked at her, the expression in his eyes wasn't even close to being one that would alert her to any kind of despair. His penetrating stare held her in suspense. She waited on the edge of her seat for him to say something, to reveal the reason of why he needed her attention so badly at that very second. But as the seconds ticked by and his voice remained silent, she began to slowly appreciate the adoring gaze that was speaking for him.

Her heart began to beat rapidly in her chest. She could feel the blood coursing through her veins as her face became flushed, but not from shyness or embarrassment over his attention, but from the fantasy that was dancing around her thoughts of what it would be like to be kissed by him. She could almost feel the tenderness of it as he looked down at her hand that rested on his, spreading his fingers, allowing hers to fall into place within his and then closing around them, returning the gesture, now holding her hand. He looked back up and met her gaze once again and Tyler could feel the warmth from his touch. A tingling sensation moved through her over his fiercely adoring blue eyes that held her captive. The pleasure of it wrapped around her heart, making her mouth water for him. It was a powerful moment to say the least, catching her off guard, yet catapulting her into an emotion that was both exhilarating and frightening at the same time, wishing she could brave the ultimate seductive embrace and kiss him.

There were no words to comfortably elaborate to her what he was experiencing amongst the crowded room, hoping she could use that special gift she held and read his thoughts. She was a master at knowing what he needed and just how to deliver the antidote. His head was filled at the moment with all sorts of fantasies; not caring that he couldn't fulfill most of them, her presence and admiring attention at the moment was satisfying him immensely, wishing he could get her alone.

It came to him then in a clarifying idea…a date, why not just simply ask her out? It was simple and to the point, well maybe not simple, if it backfired on him it would be uncomfortable to say the least. Before he could even decipher the possible set backs she used her gift to calm any anxiety he had over asking her.

"You look like you want to say something to me," Tyler said, keeping her eyes transfixed on him as a smile slowly grew on her lips. "You know me pretty well by now, I'm open to anything."

He felt she had given her answer without it even being asked. Her name was on the tip of his tongue but someone else spoke it for him.

"Tyler? Tyler Hyde, is that you?"

Steve watched, as she looked over his head at the male voice beckoning her. In the next five seconds she expressed three facial emotions, surprise, dread and then pleasure, rising out of her seat to greet the man.

"Hello Officer Benekie." Her emotions went from one extreme to another in the blink of an eye, seeing the other man that she had once respected as much as Steve.

The older man took her hand ever so gently, covering the embrace with his other in a heartfelt gesture, showing how glad he was to see her. "I thought that was you." He took a step back still holding her hand to get a full view of her appearance. "Look at you all grown up. You look beautiful."

Tyler smiled shyly, "Thank you."

"Well I was going to ask if things are going well for you, but here you are at a Governor's event. You must be doing well?"

Tyler smiled, "Yes. I'm doing ok I guess. I graduated from college and went on to nursing school. I'm an RN," she said proudly, feeling all of about sixteen years old all over again, being in his presence.

"Good for you!"

"How are you," she asked out of politeness, but really knew nothing of his personal life, all she did know was that he had been a lifesaver to her, literally. He had been the lead detective in her mother's murder case; also he was the one that Tyler had tearfully confessed to that it was her father who had forced her mother's car off the edge of the cliff that night. She and her two brothers' had been his passengers as he chased her down and eventually without any kind of remorse or hesitation from the screaming coming from the backseat slammed the side of her small pickup along Highway 83 just above Waimea Beach. Tyler still remembers seeing her break lights disappear over the edge into the darkness, begging and screaming for her father to stop and go back as he drove on, eventually reaching over the backseat and hitting her with the back of his hand to keep her quiet.

"I retired a couple of years ago. Things have slowed down a bit but are going well. I still get invitations and it keeps me in the loop of things." He squeezed her hand ever so gently, "I'm glad I ran into you though, did you get the notice that the state sent out to you?"

Tyler looked perplexed, "No. I actually haven't been to my PO Box in a while to pick up my mail. I guess I need to do that. Why?"

He sighed with an annoyed yet concerned look on his face, glancing down at Steve and the others at the table, "Maybe we can talk in private," he whispered quietly to her. "It's about your father."

She felt a chill, wondering if the news was that maybe he had died in prison, hoping was more like it. Her next thought wasn't of sadness or regret but of relief if he had. She glanced down at Steve not feeling the need to hold whatever it was in a private conversation, on the contrary she felt more at ease staying just where she was.

"It's ok," she said to Benekie, not knowing his first name. "This is Steve McGarrett and Danny Williams. This Officer Benekie. Steve and Danny are both police officers and Steve knows about my father."

Danny stood up while Steve held his hand out to him, understanding now why he didn't recognize the man whom Tyler had called 'officer' it was because he was retired.

Benekie shook Danny's hand first, "Detective Williams," he announced knowing of his credentials without it having to be announced, "and Commander McGarrett. It's a pleasure gentlemen," he said to Steve next, shaking his hand. "You have been keeping in very fine company Tyler," he smiled. "I know of your work at HPD," he said, speaking to the two of them. "You started Five-0 just a few months after I retired so we never got to work together, but I would have enjoyed it I'm sure."

"Retirement is a much sweeter deal," Danny replied.

"Yes it is," he laughed, "You can call me Daren since the 'officer' status is on the shelf now."

"Once a cop always a cop," Steve said to him.

"That's true as well," Darren smiled. "Congratulations on your achievements in that line of work Commander, very commendable. I hope you continue to use your talents at HPD beyond this minor set back," he said, commenting on his paralysis.

Steve grinned and nodded to him, liking him already. He wasn't over doing the 'get well soon' or 'keep your chin up' card, unlike others he'd spoken to, he sounded genuinely sincere.

"I hope so too, thank you." He motioned to Tyler; "Tyler has been a huge success in my recovery since the shooting. She's an outstanding nurse. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for her." He looked up at her as she smiled down at him.

"That's not true. He's very driven," she argued, putting a hand on his shoulder. "He's stronger than he gives himself credit for."

"See," Steve said, validating his compliment to her. "She's good at her job."

"I'm happy for you Tyler," Darren said to her, "you've found a very steady path in life, regardless of the struggles you had to overcome, it's commendable."

"Thank you." She smiled at the older man, knowing if it wasn't for his contribution then she could have very well been swallowed up by the schemes of her family. "What was it you wanted to say about my father? You said you had some news or something?" She kept her hand on Steve's shoulder, needing it for support in more ways than one over whatever the news was going to be.

He felt her grip tighten slightly; knowing she was nervous, or perhaps even scared. He held steady for her, anticipating the information himself; prepared to stand behind her if need be.

Darren took a step closer to her, trying to avoid any other ears at nearby tables to overhear their conversation. "He's up for parole," he said with a heartfelt sigh. "The hearing is in four days."

She stared at him trying desperately to compute the unjust words that were just spoken to her. She slowly shook her head in disbelief. "That can be. It's only been ten years. He was sentenced to thirty. He murdered my mother."

"1st degree manslaughter is not the same as being convicted of murder Tyler," he said to her. "They are eligible for parole after ten years."

Tyler came around in front of Steve, her voice and expression both bewildered. "Is that true?" she asked him, not waiting for his answer as she looked over at Danny as well. "How can that be?"

"Tyler," Steve answered regrettably, wishing more than anything that he had a reply that would please her, but he didn't. "Anyone convicted of 1st degree manslaughter has a right to a parole hearing after ten years imprisonment if they have a record of good behavior."

He felt like his heart was being torn in two as he watched her eyes fill with tears over that answer.

"How can that be," she said softly, but didn't look at any one of them specifically, her shock speaking for itself. "He ran my mother off the road on purpose. He left her in that car to die all by herself." She glanced up at Officer Benekie whose eyes held every bit of sympathy he felt for her. "You know what he did. How could they let him out?"

"Tyler," Steve said, reaching out and grasping her fingers. "This doesn't mean he's going to get out. It only means he's going before the parole board, which also means you can be there too. You can speak on behalf of your mother." He smiled, trying to appease her, "I've been to lots of those hearings. Danny and I both have. We can help you through it. We can coach you on what to say." He squeezed her fingers, "I'll make sure you have all the fire power you need going into that hearing. I promise you that. You'll be ready when they ask if anyone wants to come forward and speak."

She caught a tear before it had a chance to fall, clearing her vision on him as she recognized that driven strength he so gallantly was displaying at the moment for her welfare, feeling all her fears suddenly transform into that same determined force. "He doesn't deserve to be let out."

"Then he won't be, you'll make sure of it."

Just a few moments before she had sat at the table next to him, dreamily looking into his eyes, wanting to kiss him, she still wanted to, but the motives had changed. She had every bit of confidence that he was true to his word.


	11. Chapter 11

Tyler scooted her chair closer to Steve at the dinning room table as they looked over the information he had gathered on her father.

"He's been in three fights and was accused, but never convicted of the stabbing of another inmate. They didn't have enough evidence."

She looked over at him as he focused on the screen, reading over Danny's email, her face only a few inches away from his. "Can I use that information?"

"Not the stabbing but you can state the fights, which will point out a violent temper. You can then lead them in to when you were growing up. Talk about any fights you can remember them having and any time that he was ever physically abusive to your mother. Describe in detail as much as you can, bruises, black eyes anytime that you remember her going to the hospital. Also if he…" He looked over at her and stopped mid sentence, seeing the sadness on her face over what he was sure were horrible memories of times he had just mentioned. "I'm sorry Tyler, that was incredibly insensitive of me."

"You're just trying to help…I know that and I appreciate it. It's just that…there's so many memories."

Domestic abuse was one crime he just couldn't comprehend. How could you tell someone that you love them and then put your hands on them in a violent way, and worse yet, in front of your children? It angered him, seeing the results from it on someone that he cared about.

He shut the laptop, "Let's take a break and do this later."

"No," Tyler said, "I'm ok."

He pushed on the wheels of his chair, backing up. "No your not. It's a lot to take in right now, so let's do it slowly."

"We only have four days until the parole hearing. We don't have time to take it slowly."

"I don't want to push you too much. I can see that this is upsetting you. Let's just take a minute and recoup."

"I want to be upset," she replied fiercely. "I want to feel the anger and I want to remember how much it hurt when I was seven years old and I would watch him put his hands around her throat as I pulled on his arm, begging for him to let go, only to get pushed away or in some instances, backhanded."

Steve winced over that, picturing her at that age as she tried to defend her mother.

"I want to feel everything when I go in that room with him. I want to remember all the nights she and I would hide at the beach to escape him. I want to remember being in the grocery store one time when he grabbed the back of her neck in an isle and squeezed so hard I could see the pain on her face, and all the time I was hoping someone would walked down the isle so he would let go, and then again hoping no one would so I wouldn't feel the embarrassment over it." She looked over at him, tears filling her eyes, "That always made me feel so guilty."

"You were a kid Tyler, how else were you supposed to react?"

"I should have told someone," she replied regretfully. "A teacher maybe. I never called 911 either. I was too scared of what would happen afterward." Her bottom lip began to quiver as the first tear fell. "I didn't do anything to try and help her, maybe if I had…"

"Tyler," he interjected before she could go any further blaming herself for her father's abuse. "None of what happened was your fault. You were just as much a victim as your mother was. Domestic abuse isn't just about the physical violence; it carries over to mental and emotional manipulation too. You were trapped just like she was. I'm sure she tried to leave, but go where? You're on an island, and I'm pretty sure by the sounds of it and the experience I've had through work that he controlled all the money, as well as her."

"He said he'd kill her if she ever tried to leave, all she was doing was trying to get away from another beating that night. He was so angry. Sometimes I think it was better that she died in the car, it was quick, because if he would have caught her that night, I think he would have killed her with his bare hands."

The sadness on her face over that about broke his heart, trying to cope with his own emotions that were getting the better of him. He reached over and took her hand, putting it to his lips and kissed the back of it, wanting nothing more than to comfort her and take away whatever horrible feelings she was experiencing at that second. "I'm so sorry."

"I miss her," she whispered, both her voice and body trembling from the heartfelt confession.

He put the hand he was holding against this chest, covering it with his other. "Tell me something good that you remember about your mom," he asked.

She smiled through her tears over that question, picking the first thing that came to mind. "She liked to dance. We danced all the time," she laughed, catching sight of a memory that struck her. "We danced in public, like on the beach and if we were at a store and a song she liked came on over the speaker, she would take my hand and we would dance right there."

"She sounds like she was spontaneous and had a good spirit."

Tyler's eyes lit up, "She did! And she was warm and caring," her eyes grew sad again, "and she loved me. I know that, not only because she told me but because she tried to protect me from it all the best she could."

"She was a giver," Steve said, "someone who put others welfare above her own. I bet she always tried to see the good in people and made sure they did to. And I bet she also was very generous when it came to other people's needs, taking the time to comfort them even when they didn't now they needed it."

Tyler stared at him in awe. "Yes," she replied, barely above a whisper bewildered how he would know so much about her. "How…how do you know all that?"

He smiled, clutching her hand tighter against his chest. "I just described you."

The tears erupted spontaneously with his words that touched her, comforting the painful loss that had been torturing her for years. "That's…" she shuddered, trying to get the words out, "that's the nicest thing…anyone has…ever said to me." She bent her head, covering her face with her free hand as she began to sob, unable to control the grief that had built up over the years, and because of the person holding her hand it was allowed to surface and flow freely without any shame or regret.

She felt his hand slide into her hair and then the comforting support of a strong shoulder as he held her the best he could, repaying her for all the times she had comforted him.

The feel of her against him was both a blessing and a curse as he inhaled the delicate floral fragrance of her hair. He was thrilled that it was he who she could feel comforted by, but at the same time it only magnified his feelings for her, assured that she would feel his heart rate that sped out of control as he held her hand close to it. The moment was becoming too emotional for the both of them so he made the choice to change speeds.

"You know what," he said to her, "I have a confession to make."

Tyler sniffed, wiping her eyes but keeping the same comforting position against him. "You do?" her voice weak and childlike. "What is it?"

"I watch you in the morning when you dance in the kitchen with your headphones on."

She couldn't help but laugh, wiping the wetness on her cheeks, but kept her head on his shoulder as she shyly hid her face, too mortified to look at him. "Oh god, I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be, it's the best part of my day." He let his hand slide out from her hair onto her shoulder. "I make sure I'm awake every morning so I don't miss it." He smiled, feeling her body shake as she laughed.

She raised her head and looked at him, "I must look ridiculous."

"No," he shook his head, looking her straight on, "far from it."

She was catapulted back to that moment when they sat next to each other at the banquet. The way he looked at her sometimes could spark a tingling sensation throughout her body; just like the one she was experiencing now. It felt wonderful.

Gone was the sadness that had been engulfing her, praising him for the gift of knowing how to make her laugh just when she needed it the most.

Her eyes sparkled from the lingering tears that had yet to evaporate, showing off the blue in them that was mesmerizing. It was then that he realized he was still holding her hand, braced securely against his chest.

He was drawn to her. It felt as natural as breathing, so did the urge to kiss her. The temptation was crawling all over him, whispering in his ear of how sweet it would be to partake of something that was so beautiful and so incredibly charming. The resistance was hard to fight as the impulse taunted him. But true to his nature he weighed out not only the advantages and disadvantages of going through with it, but also his chances of being rejected. His gut was telling him she was onboard, but the moment was also emotionally charged pertaining to the subject of her mother, fearing her willingness was nothing more than needing to be comforted. In the long run his only regret of going through with it, was that was all he was capable of, a kiss, nothing more. That whisper of temptation was replaced by the voice of reality, which spoke louder causing him to pull away out of harms way as he released her hand, somehow in the mix of the emotionally charged moment he found his own voice.

"Are you ok? Should we go on now?" he asked regrettably, but needed to stand down from something that could ultimately backfire on him and leave him even more crippled than he already was. He needed her in his life and didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that.

She heard him speak but was too caught up in the moment of anticipating the kiss from him that was so close she could almost feel the tenderness of it on her lips. He had her body aching for him in ways that she never had for a man before. His rugged good looks accompanied by the man she had gotten to know over the course of time was like an aphrodisiac that had no way to be calmed except by his lips that she wanted exploring her body as well as the strong hands.

She awoke from the dreamlike state as he moved away and released the hold on her hand, shying away from any chance of fulfilling her fantasy, for now. She saw something in his expression as he did so, not able to pin it down to one label; fear of rejection perhaps, which she would have laughed at, or shame of not being able to perform as he once would have, but the one she hoped he harbored the most was regret of not going through with it.

She pulled her hand back having to wipe the moisture away on her shorts as well having to calm her body down from the hysteria of almost coming into contact with what would have been a sexually charged encounter she was sure of. She wasn't sure she could have another moment like that with him and let it go by undiscovered.

They both stared at the computer each trying to get their bearings straight once again.

"Ok," he said, slightly out of breath, "where were we?" He set his fingers on the keyboard but had no idea what he wanted to do with them.

"Umm," Tyler sighed, closing her eyes to get her head in order, "you said something about, umm…"

"Temper," Steve blurted out, "you were going to talk about his temper."

"Right!" she exclaimed, "That's right." She knew the subject but still hadn't the frame of mind to think about her horrible father when the wonderful man sitting next to her still had her head in the clouds.

Steve felt the same way, glancing over at her, "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," she replied with an easy smile, displaying that loveliness that he was quickly becoming infatuated with.

"The music, the music you dance to. What do you listen to? What kind is it?"

The smile on Tyler's face widened, "All kinds, but mostly older stuff. I mean, not older, older like 60's or 70's, but some 80's and some current, but all pop music I guess is what it would be called. Most all my songs were what my mom listened to. What I grew up listening to." He looked perplexed so she enlightened him, "You know, Journey, Wham, Bon Jovi, Foreigner, I like U2, some new stuff like Bruno Mars, Maroon 5."

"OK, I know some of those. I probably couldn't name you a song from each one but if I heard it I would probably know it. I've just never really been into music I guess. Not even as a kid."

"Music can be inspirational, therapeutic. You never listened to music when you were running or hiking?"

He shook his head, "No. I like to be alert of what's going on around me."

Tyler smiled, understanding that now that she knew him, "Do you have a favorite band?"

Steve narrowed his eyes, thinking that one over, "If I had to chose I guess I would say," he grinned, using his fingers as quotation marks, "'older stuff', like Boston, Eagles, Fleetwood Mac. That was the kind of music my parents listened to."

"It's funny huh," she said, "we always think their music sucks compared to what's on the radio at the time, but then again I bet if you ask, most adults still listen to what they use to hate."

Steve smiled bashfully, "I have to admit that if I'm in the car and have the radio on and a song comes on that I know from my childhood, I crank it up, and turn it down at stop lights though to." They both laughed.

"I do that too!" Tyler agreed. "My mom also liked the sappy stuff, sooo…" She bit her bottom lip and sighed; rolling her eyes at the secret she was about to give up, "I have to confess that I do have some…" she cringed, "Barry Manilow on my IPod."

Steve busted up over that, "Now that is old school!"

"Hey!" Tyler shrugged, defending her choice, "don't knock it till ya try it."

He raised his hands up in defense; "It just caught me off guard is all. To each his own."

"Exactly!"

He loved these types of conversations with her; gaining any kind of new personal knowledge about her was like a gift.

She felt at ease around him more than anyone she ever had, truly believing she could tell him anything and he would neither hold it against her nor speak it to anyone else, trust was something she held sacred and it was a good feeling to know that she had his.

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Tyler sat on a wooden bench outside the closed door where the parole hearing was going to take place, waiting for them to call on her. Her hands were sitting on her lap but she folded them over and over nervously.

Steve reached out and covered both of hers with one of his, "Hey, it's going to be fine. You're ready."

"I haven't seen him in ten years."

"And you won't see him for another ten," he said reassuring.

"I'm scared."

"You're not scared, you're just nervous."

"What's the difference?"

"There's a hug difference."

Tyler smiled at him, "Thank you for being here with me."

He smiled back at her as a form of recognition. "What are the three things I told you to avoid?"

Tyler took a deep breath and let it out slowly, recalling his words. "Don't swear. Don't become belligerent, and don't speak to him directly unless absolutely necessary. I'm pleading my case to the board not my father."

"Right. See…" he squeezed her hands, "you're ready."

"I wish you could come inside with me."

He did too, but knew he couldn't since he wasn't even a part of HPD when the investigation went down and any guest of the victim or the victim's family had to be pre-registered and he wasn't. "You'll be ok Tyler. Just stick with the facts and what we talked about. I think if…" His last words were cut off as the door opened and a man in a white shirt and dark slacks greeted them.

"Tyler Hyde?" he said to her and then looked at Steve, shocked to see him. "Commander McGarrett!" He gave him the once over in the chair that had become the normal reaction lately, stammering his words until he caught his composure, another trait that Steve was getting used to. "I…I wasn't expecting you to be a part of this hearing."

Steve took advantage of the man's uncomfortable condition, deciding if they were going to treat him like some sort of goddamn abnormal display then he was going to get something out of it. Putting together a quick excuse.

"Yea, well, Danny worked on this case before he and I joined up. He couldn't be here today so I came to take his place, for support of the victim's family."

"All right," he replied without blinking an eye, "c'mon in. Their ready for you now."

Tyler smiled brightly, feeling her nervousness begin to fade, feeling safer knowing Steve would be in the room with she and the monster. She stood up and bent over whispering in his ear, "I owe you big time for lying your ass off."

He followed in behind her, motioning for her to take a seat at the table up front and to the left. He placed himself to her far left and slightly behind so he could speak to her without anyone next to them if need be.

There were five people seated at a long table in the front of the room facing her. Three were men, one of them native the other two Caucasian, and two women, both a combination of native and Japanese decent. To the right of her were two more tables similar to hers and a door to the far right, which she stared at anticipating the arrival of her father, what caught her by surprise was the person who entered from the door in the back that she and Steve had.

She turned and saw her older brother Patrick enter the room. She hadn't seen him in almost nine years.

He glanced at her just long enough to establish that is was actually her, giving no sign of a greeting while taking a seat at the table in the middle and to the far right.

She stared at him, not seeing the handsome, sturdy young man that he used to be. He was at least thirty pounds heavier and was covered with tattoos, from neck to hands. Not establishing any type of theme but what was maybe suiting him at the moment of the inking. His skin was mixed with both of his parents, his father being native Hawaiian and his mother being Caucasian. She had all of her mother and really no traits of her father, which she was grateful for.

Steve leaned forward, "Who is that?"

She turned her head just slightly and replied, "My older brother Patrick."

Steve glanced over at him; seeing what he would describe as a hardcore individual. He looked to be about six one, two forty, maybe two fifty; long dark hair and in a suit that was clearly not his. The jacket and pants were too big and the tie, even though it was knotted correctly looked out of place. He gave the impression that he was trying too hard, but yet hadn't tried hard enough.

He glanced at Tyler's attire and smiled. She looked professional in her dark blue dress suit she had bought strictly for the occasion. He looked back over at Patrick who was now staring at him, doing the norm by giving him the once over and then met his eyes. The penetrating glare was meant to scare or bully, assured that it had served its purpose many times over, assured it would again to a man in a wheelchair, but he had no idea the man he was trying to intimidate was not only born with a lion's heart but considered him nothing more than a weak ass punk at first sight. To say the least, intimidation was the last thing on Steve's mind. He stared back at him recalling the stories from Tyler of both her brother's bullying of her during their father's trial. He had no feeling for the person sitting across the way, and what Danny would call his 'deathly stare' told Patrick as much. Steve neither blinked nor wavered in his expression even after he won the contest, as Patrick looked away first. He somehow believed the silent battle between them wasn't going to end there.

A few minutes later the door to the side opened.

Steve saw Tyler's posture straighten as a correction officer entered first followed by a man who resembled Patrick only thirty years older. He reached over and put a hand on her shoulder feeling the tenseness of it and then only seconds later feeling her relax.

She turned away from the monster and looked at the only person in the room she considered a real man, letting him know she was good.

The prisoner's hands were bound in front of him with handcuffs, which pleased Steve, knowing that meant he was either a risk or had had a recent altercation, either one was a blessing, and was already strike one against him.

The correction officer pulled a chair out for him but he looked over in their direction ignoring the seat.

"Tyler," he said to her but she refused the acknowledgment. "Tyler, honey, look at me please."

Again it was refused.

"Dads' talking to you," Patrick blurted out, "at least look at him."

"Sit down," one of the women on the parole board ordered her father. "You will not address anyone in this room except for the people sitting at this table. Do you understand Mr. Hyde?"

He took a seat and looked over at the group, "Yes, my apologies. I understand." After being seated he acknowledged his son with a head nod, who in turn angrily looked back over at Tyler for dismissing their father, looking Steve up and down again as he spoke quietly to her.

' _Who the hell does she think she is? And who is that crippled haole with her?'_ he thought angrily.

The hearing began with the parole board reading off the charges as to why Abraham Hyde had been incarcerated. He was allowed to talk first, commenting on his achievements during his imprisonment. He elaborated on some job in the kitchen that he had obtained through good behavior even though there were others who were in line before him.

"He acts like he got some promotion at work, not prison," Tyler snickered, whispering to Steve. He went on for another couple of minutes when the woman who had spoken up first looked in her direction.

"Ms. Hyde, would you like to address the board?"

Tyler swallowed and pushed her chair back, standing up as Steve had suggested, showing respect to the room. "Yes, ma'am I would." It was then that she looked down the way at her father just long enough to get her point across that she meant business.

"I would like to begin by saying that not a day goes by, hardly a minute that I don't think of that night that my mother was run off the road and left to die at the hands of Abraham Hyde. I listened to all of his so called achievements that he feels he has accomplished that has changed him and made him a better man, but I ask you all," she said looking at each one of the individuals who sat at the table, "did any of you, one time hear him mention any kind of regret over his actions that night? No, you didn't, because that is the type of man Abraham Hyde is. He thinks of himself first and no one else. He is here for the murder of my mother, Caroline Hyde, yet he speaks as if he has served his ten years of the thirty-year sentence and it now should be our duty to set him free all because he was promoted to the kitchen! What about the life he took? My mother will never experience what it's like to watch the sunrise and set, or have the privilege to swim in the ocean that she loved to do so much. I lost my best friend and the only person in the world who cared about me. He took that away from me without even one ounce of regret."

"I didn't kill no one!" her father blurted out.

"It was an accident!" Patrick burst out. "You were there, she was speeding and Dad was trying to catch her so she wouldn't get hurt! She ran herself off the cliff."

"How can you sit there and say that Patrick, you were there!" she yelled, feeling her anger quickly rise over his ridiculous words.

Steve reached over and put a hand on her, silently reminding her of one of his three rules. Do not become belligerent.

Tyler quickly regained her composure, straightening her posture. "I just feel that justice has not been served for the murder of my mother, Caroline Hyde. I ask the board to please deny parole for Abraham Hyde and make him pay for the crime he was accused of and eventually convicted of by a jury and a court of law, proving that the events of that night were not an accident but a deliberate act of murder."

She looked at each member again, a couple of them nodding their understanding for her plea before she sat back down.

The woman looked at Patrick next. "Mr. Hyde would you like to say anything to the board on this matter?"

Patrick abrasively pushed his chair back, glaring over at Tyler as he stood. "My father did NOT commit murder that night! It was an accident!" he pointed over at her, "You lied through your teeth to that cop and told him all sorts of bullshit things that happened that night that never happened!" he faced the board. "That's why my father is in prison, because she's dirty fucking liar! Put her in prison for perjury!"

"Mr. Hyde!" One of the men on the board spoke up, making eye contact with the correction officer before he addressed Patrick. "We will not tolerate any kind of abusive language or behavior. If you have something to say in defense of your father then say it with respect to this board and the other people in this room. If you cannot then you will be removed from these proceedings. Do you understand?"

Patrick's nostrils faired as his face turned red with fury siting back down in the chair. She looked beyond him then and saw her father staring at her with cold, bitterly angry eyes, feeling a chill run through her, knowing what her mother must have felt when he looked at her like that.

"I take it you have nothing else to say then," the man said, not waiting for answer as he moved on, closing the hearing.

Tyler felt her heart racing out of control, feeling all of sixteen again, recalling how Patrick and her other brother Dominic had screamed at her and threatened her if she didn't change her story. She stared straight ahead refusing to acknowledge ether one of the two men as her father was led out and Patrick stomped out.

Steve couldn't have been more proud of the way she had handled herself. Her plea was perfectly laid out for the board in a calm, reasonable account of what she believed to be true, and he felt with all of his experience and mainly in his gut that there was no way that Abraham Hyde was going to be granted parole. And that was due mainly to Tyler's brilliantly established testimony.

He leaned over to say as much when he unexpectedly saw a stream of tears falling down her face, not anticipating this type of reaction from her. He put an arm over her shoulder and without any hesitation she fell into him, covering her hands with her face.

"You did great Tyler. It's over now. I can pretty much guarantee you that he won't get out."

She lifted her head, wiping away her tears, "Really? You think so?"

He nodded, using his thumb to catch a remaining drop of moisture that fell on her cheeks. "You were amazing, right on cue and kept your composure. But most of all, you spoke from your heart. I'm so proud of you."

That made her smile; pulling her away from the turmoil that was making her cry. "To be honest…" she shook her head with a bewildered expression, "I couldn't tell you anything I said."

Steve laughed, "Oh ya? Well let me assure you Miss Hyde, that it was spot on. You killed it." He motioned with his head to the door. "Let's get out of here."

Tyler shocked him by leaning over and kissing his cheek.

"I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you, Steve."

He looked down, grinning over the sweet gesture, "You're welcome."

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Steve leaned back in his wheelchair and put his hand over his stomach, "I'm stuffed." He pushed his plate of Asian noodles and vegetables away with his other one, "God, get that out of my sight or I'm going to keep eating it."

Tyler chuckled as she took a bite of her egg roll, "I told you that place was the bomb."

"You were right. It was good." He finished off his glass of water and pulled the plate back, setting it on his lap as he backed up.

"Wait," Tyler said, wiping her face off with her napkin, "don't clean up. I'll do it, but first I have a surprise for you," she smiled as she got up.

"For me?" he grinned, setting the plate back on the table. "What is it?"

"Something you have wanted for a long time, and I'm going to make it happen for you tonight if it kills me."

He raised an eyebrow over that. "You're making me a little nervous," he said to her as she came up behind him.

"Don't be." She put her hands on the handles of his chair and pushed him to the stairs and then backed his wheels up to the first step. "For all you did for me today, I'm going to repay you by getting you up to your room so you can sleep in your own bed tonight." She tilted his chair back and pulled him up the first step.

"Whoa, Tyler," he protested. "You don't have to do this."

She grunted and pulled him up the next one, "Yes I do, so either be quiet or help me."

He knew her well enough to know the argument would have been wasted breath so he did as he was told and used his hands on the wheels to help the cause, which he had to admit was a brilliant surprise. He hadn't been in his room since the morning of the shooting months before. The thought of sleeping in his bed with the lanai doors open and feeling the cool breeze off the ocean began to excite him.

Tyler stopped halfway up, holding on to him as she took a breather.

"You ok?" he asked, looking up over his shoulder at her and then down the steps making a plan if by some chance she slipped and accidently let go of him.

"I'm fine," she took in another deep breath and began pulling again. "We're…almost…there," she grunted.

She was true to her word as she made the last bit of effort and tackled the last step, turning him towards his open bedroom door.

The anticipation was overwhelming as they neared his personal sanctuary that he had been striving to get to since coming home.

They came inside and Tyler went past him to the lanai doors and opened both the french style doors all the way.

He smiled as the fresh aroma of hibiscus flowers mixed with the salty scent of the ocean filled the room, breathing in the delicacy.

"I cleaned the sheets and moved some things around so you could get around easily. I hope you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind. It feels good being in here. Thank you Tyler."

She could see the positive results of her surprise on him already, which pleased her to no end.

He wheeled himself over to the side of the bed and applied the breaks, making the transition from chair to bed and then scooted back against the headboard as Tyler helped him by lifting his legs.

"I put some of your books in here too," she said. "So you can read or just relax. The sun will be setting soon, so you can finally watch the sunset and sleep soundly in your own bed." She made her way to the door. "I'll just let you enjoy your room." As she went to leave she felt a small wave of regret. They had spent every evening together since she had arrived and now with his move up to his room, she would be alone downstairs. The alone part didn't bother her as much as the missing part did. Oddly enough, she was going to miss him even though he was just upstairs, but he would be in a part of the house that was his very own.

"Wait," he called out as she made her way to the door, "Where are you going?"

"I was going to clean up the dinner mess and then," she shrugged looking bored, "I don't know…watch TV I guess."

He motioned with his head toward the open doors, "And miss this show?" He gave her a pouty look, "It's no fun all by yourself, especially after the great day we had."

She smiled cheerfully over the invitation, "Ok, just give me a second, I'll be right back."

She ran down the steps and into the kitchen, forgoing the dirty dishes and went to the fridge, getting both of them a beer. She popped the tops off with an opener from a drawer at her hip, leaving the discarded lids on the counter as she went for the stairs, hurrying back up to his room.

"Ok, this calls for a celebration," she announced, coming inside and handing him the cold beverage.

"I thought you didn't drink?" he asked.

"I don't, not really, never cared for it, saw too many drunks in my youth, but this is a special occasion."

She sat down in his wheelchair, which happened to be the only seat in the room, until he gave her another option. He patted the vacant spot on the other side of him.

"Come over here so you can get a good view of that sunset."

"Ok," she agreed happily, walking around the side of the bed and sitting down next to him, leaning back on the pillow he had propped up for her against the headboard. She looked over at him as he held his beer up.

"Cheers to you Tyler for accomplishing your goal today."

She touched the tip of her bottleneck against his, "I couldn't have done it without you."

"And never could I have made it up here or accomplished any of the hundreds of other things you helped me with."

They both took a drink looking at each other as they did.

"I guess we're even now," he said. "Although I still think I got the better end of the deal."

She smiled, shifting her body and curling her legs up as she turned towards him, leaning her shoulder on the pillow. "Do you really think they'll deny him parole?"

"Yes. I will be shocked, I mean shocked, if he gets out. But seriously Tyler, don't lose any sleep over it. We'll probably hear tomorrow and then you can let it go."

"For another ten years," she sighed.

"Then we'll hit'em again," he replied, tapping his beer against hers.

She liked the sound of that. "Do you think we'll still know each other in ten years?"

"I hope so."

She liked the sound of that even better. "Me too."

"How was it seeing your brother today?" he asked, wanting to open the conversation to the abnormal family reunion incase she wasn't coping well with it.

She shrugged, picking at the label on her beer, "Kinda nerve-racking at first but ok I guess. He's so angry and so bitter, but more than anything else, he's in such denial over the events of that night. My father had both of my brother's brain washed over his abuse. When I was young I didn't understand, I thought my dad was just mean and a drunk, but now as I'm older I see it for what it really was. He saw my mother and I as beneath he and my brothers because we were women. I remember him complaining once about some girl getting hired at his construction job. He was so mad that she was taking a job away from some hard working guy that needed it more than her." She huffed, "He treated my mother like a maid, bullying her in front of all of us if the house wasn't just right, or if dinner wasn't on the table when he got home. I remember even once my brother Patrick complained that he didn't like the spaghetti sauce she had made for dinner. My dad told him to pick up the pot and go throw it in the sink and tell her to make it again. He stared at him for a minute in astonishment but in the end he did it, and she had to abide by it. She wouldn't dare reprimand him or go against what my father said, that would be suicide." She recalled going in the kitchen with her and helping her, not because she was told to, but because she felt sorry for her, hating her brother for yelling at her like that. "She tried to get away, many times, but she had to go back. I think she did for me."

Steve could see the anguish on her as she told her story. "I can't imagine having to live like that, day after day. It must have been torture for her, and for you too. But I also think she must have been a strong woman to endure it and still have the determination to pass that strength on to you the best she could. She made you who you are today Tyler, no one else did that. She's the one that gave you the fearless strength to stand up against your father and testify against him, and she was also the one that led you into that room today to carry on her legacy. I don't even know your mom but from the things you have told me about her, I think she was the toughest person in your family."

Tyler looked up at him with tears teetering on the brink of falling and nodded, appreciative of every word he'd just said. No one had ever spoken so eloquently about her mother before. It opened up a whole new insight of someone whom she had loved and admired so much, but also had been dead for ten years. It was true, he didn't know her but had described her in a way that Tyler had always wanted the world to see her, as a fighter not just as a victim.

"I wish you could have known her," Tyler whispered. "She would have liked you very much."

"I feel like I do. She still lives inside of you." That had meaning to him, because he felt the same way about his father. "My dad passed away a few years ago, and I see him in me too. Things I do, my mannerisms," he smiled, "he was stubborn as a mule."

Tyler's eyes became sympathetic to that news, "I'm so sorry for your loss."

"He was murdered too," Steve confessed, understanding her heartache over loosing someone so violently. "It's what brought me back home to Hawaii."

She gasped, realizing the horrible similarity that they both shared, feeling privileged that he trusted her enough with something so personal. "I didn't know that." She didn't have to console him with words as he stared at her, because she knew he told her only to let her know that she was not alone in her feelings that she harbored over this terrible thing they had in common. She felt a newly formed bond with him that spoke louder than words, needing more than ever to feel his presence that was always comforting, using the sunset as her way of displaying that need.

"The sun is setting," she said to him as his eyes parted ways with hers and looked out the doors seeing the sky turning a pinkish purple color.

"It's going to be a pretty one," he replied, focusing back on her. "You're staying, right?"

She nodded, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

She turned her body in the direction of the open doors as he lifted his right arm over her pillow, taking a chance and inviting her into a more intimate position next to him, which to his pleasure she accepted without any hesitation, nestling in close to his body. She had witnessed thousands of Hawaiian sunsets but none of them were going to be more enjoyable than this one.

"Thanks for making this happen Tyler." He spoke sincerely, both in his tone and from his heart. "I'm glad you're here with me,"

She smiled, moving in a little closer to him, "Me too. I love this house. It has the feel of Ohana, something I've never experienced before. I've always lived in paradise but I've never experienced it until I came here. Thank you for that."

His arm came down from the pillow and over her shoulder, draping over her chest as he held her, "There's always a place for you here."

Any normal circumstance and that sweet offer might have moved her to tears, but on this occasion her mindset was too preoccupied by the incredible feeling of being so close to him. She reached up with her free hand, griping on to his wrist, "Be careful with what you say," she teased, "you may never get rid of me." But inside she was fearful every second of the day that Danny would come through his front door and tell her the job was finished.

The feel of her next to him was content and natural, as if it were meant to be. He wasn't naïve to the fact that he had come to rely on her in so many ways but was also well aware that he was in a very delicate and vulnerable stage of his life right now. He felt strong feelings for her, some of which were foreign to him. It made him all the more confused over what was true and what was a selfish need of just needing her here because she was the only person in his life right now that he felt a sense of normalcy with. But when he thought of her leaving at the end of her position, it wasn't his needs being unmet that he feared the most, but the pain in his chest that would take on the burden of the loss, not wanting to face that day because just thinking about it now was painful enough.

He wanted to keep her this close for as long as possible, forever was even an option that had never crossed his mind before with anyone else, but if this was what it felt like to be in love, then he was on board, for life.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Author note: My apologies ahead of time. I'm leaving on vacation tomorrow and even though the story is always moving forward in my head, I don't think I will have the time to write it out, so the next chapter may not be for a couple of weeks. But, I thought I would leave you in a good place, so I hope you enjoy this one.**_

 _ **As always…Thank You for reading! Aloha! Mel**_

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"Shit Tyler!" Steve yelled and then laughed nervously as she carefully brought him down the stairs in the wheelchair one step at a time. "Ok! Ok, I'll get you a raise, starting immediately, but if you kill me you get nothing!"

"Stop it," she laughed, "or I am going to drop you."

There was a loud thud on every step touched as they made their way down.

On the last one they both let out a breath of relief.

"I should get you one of those stair lifts that carry you up in the chair," Tyler suggested, wiping her sweaty hands on her pants.

"No way!" Steve declined adamantly. "Those are for old people. I'd rather sleep downstairs or sell my house than be subject to that thing. Besides," he added, "if I get the operation then I won't need it anyway. I'll be able to walk again, or be a quadraplegic or…" he forewent the third option of death, thinking it too morbid and might be bad luck to say out loud.

Tyler came around in front of him, surprised, yet pleased over his mention of the operation, considering he'd never brought it up before. "Are you considering it?"

He shrugged, "I always considered it, but whether or not to take the risk is the hard part. Living in this body is one thing, but living in one that is not capable of any kind of movement whatsoever…" he paused, visualizing that life, "I don't know if I could handle that."

She was about to give him the speech about how she knew several quadraplegic but stopped herself, assured that he was aware that there was a productive life to live even if it came to that, but the decision was whether or not he wanted to live it; that had to be his choice. She took Danny's advice and let him work it out on his own, unless of course if he asked for her opinion.

"It's a tough and very personal decision."

He looked up at her, "What would you do?"

She knew exactly what she would do and was about to tell him when there was a loud pounding on the front door, startling the both of them.

Tyler didn't even make it two steps before the culprit burst thru.

Patrick stood in the doorway looking from Tyler's stunned expression to Steve's angry one and then back to Tyler, his main reason for being there.

He pointed an accusing finger at her, speaking with venom in his voice, "You little bitch! Because of you he was denied parole!"

The news shocked her as she turned to Steve, neither one of them having heard the outcome of the hearing yet. He couldn't help but smile, which in turn made her smile as well, both of them caught up in that split second of bliss over the pleasurable news, forgetting about the intruder until he made his presence known once again as all hell broke lose.

Patrick came toward her as Steve pushed on the wheels of his chair, blocking his pathway to Tyler.

"Back off! Get out of my house!"

"Fuck you!" Patrick fired back, "Who the hell are you anyway, butting into our family issues!" he looked him up and down. "I'll tell you who you are. You're nothing but a shriveled up has been cop! A crippled haole' who thinks he's still man enough to walk the line! You're not! Look at you, you're nothing but a pathetic cripple!"

"Shut up!" Tyler screamed, moving in front of Steve now to protect him. "You're one to talk! You're nothing but a weak-minded coward! Get out!"

Patrick reached out and backhanded her hard across the cheek, sending her flying into the stairs.

Steve felt a rage of fury burst out of him that not only surprised the hell out of Patrick, but Tyler as well.

By the time she had a chance to reach up and touch the stinging on her cheek, Steve had wheeled forward and used the arms of the chair to catapult himself out of it, wrapping his arms around Patrick's waist as they fell backward onto the floor with Steve now on top of him. He braced his left hand next to his head and rose up, using his right fist to punch him, hitting him square in the nose and then another quick jab to his jaw.

Tyler screamed as Patrick then got the upper hand being able to do the one thing that Steve couldn't, maneuver his legs.

He squirmed up out of reach, knocking Steve off balance as his left arm buckled rolling him to the side as Patrick went with him, kneeling over him and then began to administer his revenge on Steve's face. He got in two hits, with one fist to his right eye and then the other to his jaw before Steve could get a jab in, clipping Patrick in the chin.

The fists were flying back and forth until it all came to a sudden halt.

"Get off of him!" Tyler growled, pointing the barrel of Steve's gun at Patrick's temple.

He looked up at her startled and shocked over seeing the weapon.

"You lay another hand on him and I'll blow your fucking head off." Her hand trembled but her face didn't flinch.

They both stared at her in astonishment.

"Get off him!" she yelled again.

He moved off of Steve, sitting on the floor.

"You're going to shoot me?" he said disgusted by her actions. "I'm your brother!"

"I will not let you harm another person I love. So if you don't get away from him right now you piece of shit, I will shoot you. You may still think I'm a foolish kid, but don't kid yourself big brother, I know the law, and this is breaking and entering, and not only that but Steve is a police officer. I could kill you right now and they'd probably give me a medal."

He glared at her, "I can't believe you turned your back on your family like this. Look at what you did to Dad and now you're protecting some haole' over your own flesh and blood!"

Tyler let out a laugh but none of it was funny to her, the cold-blooded expression in her eyes told him as much. "How can you say that? You know what she went through, and you lied and tried to let him get away with murder. Her murder! He beat and degraded her for years until he finally killed her! Our mother! You know its true!" she moved the gun closer to him, "You're just as guilty as he is."

"Tyler," Steve said for the third time, the first two going unheard as the years of fury overtook her. "Give me the gun." The request was ignored as she stared at her brother. "Tyler, honey please…" he pleaded, reaching up to her but not wanting to startle her and have it go off accidently, his eyes focused on the trigger where her finger trembled. "Give me the gun, Tyler."

"I have no feelings for you," she said to Patrick, her voice low and accusing. "You don't see me as your sister, the same way that you didn't see her as your mother. You let him manipulate you and turn you into the same kind of monster he is. I don't ever want to see you again and if you died today I'd have a drink to celebrate."

Her words rattled Steve as much as they did Patrick.

"Tyler," he said more passive, finally getting her attention, "Give me the gun, right now," he demanded, holding his hand out just inches from it.

She never took her eyes off of Patrick but did as he asked, laying it in the palm of his hand as Patrick rose to his feet.

"I didn't kill my mother," he said to her, wiping the back of his hand under his bloodied nose. "It was an accident!" he yelled backing up toward the door. "She swerved and went over the cliff. It was an accident! She was out of control."

"She wasn't out of control, she was fleeing for her life because he was chasing her, again! He came alongside her and rammed the truck, pushing her over the edge. You saw it, I saw it, and Dominic saw it. You can make up any excuse you want Patrick, but you know that's the simple truth."

"That's not what happened!" he screamed.

Steve held the gun, pointing it at the floor but was ready to use it without hesitation if he came at Tyler again. But Patrick surprised the both of them as he left the house just as quickly as he had arrived.

He let the gun relax in his hand, letting his head fall back on the floor and closed his eyes, relieved that it was over. He opened them again seeing Tyler's concerned expression above him and the feel of her gentle hands touching the spot on his right eye that had begun to bruise.

"Are you alright?" she asked frantically, looking him up and down as her hand followed her eyes, checking his body for damage.

"I'm fine," he reassured her. "Are you?" he inquired now displaying the same concerned expression for her, putting his palm on the place that still held the handprint from the slap.

"Yes." His touch on her face calmed her, looking down at him as the events on the last few minutes flashed before her, recalling how he avenged her by taking on her brother. She would have been impressed if they had been standing toe to toe but the fact that Steve took him on in the condition that he was…she was almost giddy over the adoration that she was feeling. He was her hero from beginning to end and she looked upon him now in a way that brought all of it to the surface in her smile that lit up her face.

He didn't think he had ever seen her look more beautiful than the way she did at that second, taking it in and capturing the moment to remember as one that would bring him happiness for years to come. He too reflected on the events that had taken place, but he could only focus on one particular moment that set his heart racing out of control. Her unscripted and in his eyewitness opinion, heartfelt declaration that she refused to allow Patrick to harm another person that she loved. He was charmed over her choice of words to describe him, completely and utterly smitten.

"I'm going to get some ice for your eye," she announced, but before she had a chance to even make the slightest move in her endeavor, to her greatest pleasure he made one first.

There was no stopping the force that rose up in him, knowing that if she got up and walked away then the moment they were sharing would become just another encounter of nurse and patient, and he didn't want that anymore. He wanted it to be more than that and after her sweet confession he felt the feelings were mutual and decided at that very second to take a leap of faith and make it more.

His hand slid from her cheek to the back of her neck as he rose up and pulled her lips down to him, connecting the two together in an explosive moment that didn't take her by surprise as much as it filled her with joy, rejoicing over his bold move to finally break the ice. This kiss was going to change everything and was even more dynamic and gratifying than she had imagined it would be.

He titled his head just slightly as she responded to his move by leaning into him and opening her mouth, taking it to the next level. He replied to her with great enthusiasm taking her in as the warmth and tenderness of it made him moan just slightly which only ignited her efforts, feeling the pressure of her body on his chest as she lay over top of him, kissing him like he'd never been kissed before. The electricity from it was staggering, not even taking into consideration that his normal thought process by this time would be wanting to explore her body and make love to her until she would tremble and fall loosely in his arms when he was done with her, but that was another life and this one had no chance of performing that quest, but unbeknownst to him all the worry he had troubled himself over of not being able to satisfy her was blown out of the water because she not only physically proved him wrong but verbally as well.

They broke apart only momentarily as she moved down to his neck, kissing him over and over, speaking to him in a shallow voice that was overcome with passion. "You are…" she panted, "the sexiest man…I have ever… laid eyes on." She didn't give him time to respond only react as she kissed him again, and react he did, caressing her body with one hand while pulling her in closer with the other, clenching a handful of her hair as he did, raising his head off the floor to get closer to her, showing her just how pleased he was over that.

Her mind exploded over the delightful gift of knowing that he wanted her in this way. Him! The one person she considered the man of all men and had proved his heroics to her only a short time earlier, which only magnified her want for him. The sexual desire wasn't just physical, emotionally she began to feel a step towards nirvana; a powerful emotion she had read about and studied in psych classes but up to this second that's all it had been, a word. It was the only way she could describe what was happening to her.

The moment went on for several minutes until finally they broke apart, only to look upon each other with different eyes, seeing the results of the encounter as clear as could be, neither held one ounce of regret nor wanted to shy away from what had happened between them.

"I've wanted you to do that for so long," Tyler smiled.

Steve laughed, laying his head back on the floor. "I've wanted to do that for so long."

"You're a good kisser."

He looked up at her as she leaned over him, "Helps to have a good partner."

She blushed just slightly feeling the euphoric sensations ripple through her, not wanting this moment to end, but seeing that his eye needed treatment. "You need ice for that."

He held firmly on to her. "No, it's fine, really. I've had plenty of shiners in my day, it's not going anywhere and neither are you." He grinned, giving her another quick kiss.

He didn't like being babied, that she knew, so she did the next best thing then to make him comfortable. "Ok, hold on then." She got up on her hands and knees and crawled the few feet to the couch, reaching for one of the two decorative toss pillows on it and then crawled back to him, placing it under his head.

"Once a nurse, always a nurse," he chuckled.

She sprawled her body out next to him on the floor as he held an arm out allowing her to rest on his bicep which she did, rolling on her side and laying one hand on his chest, slowly moving it over him, finally getting to feel what she had been witnessing becoming stronger and firmer everyday. She swore she could lie in this position for the rest of her life and be perfectly content.

She looked up at him getting a glimpse of the shiner that was going to eventually turn black and blue. "Thank you," she said to him. "No one has ever stuck up for me like that before."

He smiled, feeling pretty good about the fight now that it was all over with, but at the time he didn't even second-guess his actions. He could never recall feeling such a wave of anger as he did when he saw her fall against the stairs from the slap. His only regret was that he didn't do more damage to Patrick. "It's probably a good thing I'm only half useful, otherwise I might have tore his head off."

"You're not half useful," she contradicted him. "You're more of a man than anyone I have ever met."

It was his turn to smile shyly over her admiration, putting his arm around her as she now rested her head on his shoulder. "What about you Calamity Jane, pulling a gun on him! Geez," he looked down at her face that was grinning as she buried it in his chest. "You scared me to death! I thought you were going to shoot him."

She then recalled her anger over seeing Patrick striking him, her smile faded as she sat up on her elbow looking at him. "I would have. I really think I would have if he hit you one more time. I…" she paused midsentence suddenly remembering the words that she'd said to Patrick describing what Steve meant to her. One word in particular stood out. She couldn't remember exactly the phrase that was used, but the word love was in it and the meaning was true to heart, wondering if he remembered it too. "I think at one point I was so angry that I might have shot him. Seeing him hitting you like that and even though you had put up a good defense, all I could see was my mother being beat by my father and the same kind of blinding anger and pain swept over me." She looked at him curiously, "Is that what they call temporary insanity?"

"It's what they call self defense," he corrected her. "You were protecting someone that you…" he caught himself at the last second, nearly repeating her words of love, but took a different approach "that you felt was in imminent danger." He wondered if maybe she had been so distraught that perhaps the meaning wasn't for him but for her mother that she couldn't help when it was happening to her.

' _I won't let you hurt another person that I love.'_ The words came to her, ringing in her head now, hearing herself say them out loud. She did love him, but was she in love with him? It was a fine line between the two meanings and it was also a line that she wanted the other person standing on with her before she crossed it, not so sure he was there. They had become good friends and now with the kiss, it was materializing into something more, but man, woman love? Only time would tell she thought, not giving it any more thought at the moment. She was happy just where she was.

"I like self defense," she agreed, "because truthfully, I wasn't insane. I knew exactly what I was doing," she smiled shyly, "and what I was saying."

He took her meaning exactly the way she wanted him to, seeing too the friendship that was strong between them, he had to admit he did love her. Proving it when he hurdled himself into danger trying to protect her, but was he in love with her? He didn't know, and like her, he let it go for now. He had broken the ice with the spontaneous kiss and allowed the sexual tension between them to escape, thoroughly pleased with the outcome.

She laid her head back down on his shoulder, caressing over his stomach with her hand. "Steve?" she asked quietly.

"What?" he answered, doing the same delicate gesture on her back.

"Do you think because we kissed, that things will…I mean, I don't want things to become weird between us."

He smiled over the sweet honesty in the tone of her voice. "Things will only get weird if we allow them to."

She liked that answer.

"I'm still your nurse though."

"But for how much longer?" he replied, knowing their time was getting close to the end. She had done too good of a job, knowing that Dr. Aldridge was sending reports to whatever department was funding his bills for Tyler, and also knowing they'd be pulling the plug any day now.

"I keep waiting for Danny to give me the news," she sighed, dreading that day.

"Me too." He held her a little closer. "What were your plans Tyler, I mean after you finished with this job?"

"I want to go to medical school," she blurted out, catching him by surprise.

"Really?"

She sat up on her elbow again, "Yes. I applied at a couple," she sighed, "but it's really hard to get in to a program unless you are top notch."

"Then you should have no problem," he said truthfully.

She smiled, "Thank you, but I wish it were that easy."

"I know a lot of people on the island from my job and working so close with the Governor. Maybe I could help."

She was flattered that he'd go the extra mile like that for her, and really wished it were that easy. "Do you know people in California because I've applied at UCLA, Stanford and UC San Diego."

That was a blow more than it was a shock, "Oh, so you want to be a California girl."

"They're good schools."

"They're excellent schools."

When she first applied she was hopeful, anticipating getting off the island and pursuing her dream in a place that wasn't Hawaii. She had sealed every application with a prayer that it would be accepted, but now she had second thoughts. He was the reason.

She had plans, very precise and long distance plans. "When will you find out if you're accepted?"

"In the next couple of months."

He felt a stab to the chest over that, not sure how he should react in her presence over the idea of her leaving Hawaii, but his natural reaction was to beg her not to go. If she left his house at least he'd have the comforting feeling of knowing she'd still be nearby, but this, this was a whole new set of disappointment and sadness that he was trying desperately to hide from her.

"What kind of medicine do you want to study?"

Tyler smiled, "Surgical. I want to specialize in spinal cord injuries."

His expression showed his astonishment this time. "Why am I just now learning this about you? How come you never told me before?"

She shrugged, "I don't know. I guess it just never came up in a conversation that I felt comfortable blurting out."

He understood now, only because he knew her. She was too modest to say it, while others would brag about it and had every right to he thought, Tyler wasn't the bragging type. "You'll make an excellent doctor, Tyler. Any one of those schools would be lucky to have you. I know I feel that way."

She moved up on him, bracing a hand above his head so she could look directly down at him. "Me too. I feel that way about you. I'm lucky to know you. And I felt even luckier that you wanted to be my friend." Her eyes softened as she moved closer to him, "and I feel I'm the luckiest girl in the world because you wanted to kiss me…and then you did."

She could always surprise him by knowing what to say at just the right time to bring him the most pleasure, no matter the circumstance. But it wasn't the compliment that pleased him as much as the way in which it was delivered; she made him feel like a man, more so than anytime in his life, regardless of his current state, he felt it all the way down to his toes.

Her heart rate soared over the anticipation of another kiss as his hand reached up and touched her cheek, his thumb gliding delicately over her lips. His face showed an expression that was new to her. The word handsome didn't do it justice, he was visually stunning the way he was looking at her, making her head swirl as he worked his magic, placing her under the most wonderfully enchanted spell.

' _I love you,'_ her heart sang out, closing the gap between wondering and actually knowing where her heart stood.

He didn't seize the moment like he did the first time, on the contrary, he took his time, looking into her eyes all the way up to the moment when he closed his as their lips touched. It wasn't powerful in the method of urgency that the last one had, but it was powerful in its own right, sweeping her off her feet and allowing her a rare glimpse inside the man that could surprise her around every turn. It was without a doubt the most intimate moment she had ever shared with anyone, contradicting all beliefs that sex was the ultimate path toward intimacy, because at this moment, as he seductively caressed her she didn't need the coupling of their bodies in that way to feel the bond. He was making love to her in a way that was more delightful and satisfying than any sexual experience she had encountered thus far in her life.

All of his experience with sex that he thought he had mastered became null and void. It was all a lie or exaggerated in his head. A label that society and his peers claimed had to be achieved in one way and one way only, by the pairing of their bodies until they both climaxed, therefore completing the ultimate gratification of what it was like to make love to a woman. None of that was ringing true to him now, yet he felt a new sensation that was just as satisfying and maybe even more so. Tyler brought light to his world that had been dark and frightening. She'd held his hand when the need for another human touch had been so severe that it still left him dazed over the gift of her presence. He didn't need to ask himself if he was in love with her, the answer was in this newly discovered feeling of tenderness and affection that she filled within him.

He was in love. He was most definitely in love.


	13. Chapter 13

Steve looked out the living room window as the sun came up, casting its familiar glow on the Ko'olau Mountains in the distance. He'd witnessed it most days, but today it shown a brilliance that was breathtakingly beautiful. He stared at it with an appreciative grin on his face. The clouds hovering over the peak turned blood orange and then as the mist warmed and slowly began to evaporate, a rainbow appeared.

He gasped at the beauty of it; the colors vibrant as if he were admiring a painting and not a view out his window. It lasted only seconds and then vanished with the morning mist as the heat from the sun began its job.

He questioned whether or not it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, until he looked down at a sleeping Tyler, resting peacefully on his shoulder.

He closed his eyes and opening them back up again, playing a game with himself to be assured he wasn't dreaming. She was still there, the same as she had been the last couple of nights. She'd slept with him both times since the infamous kiss on the floor of his family room two days before.

The first night started out innocently enough as they watched a movie together. She normally lay on the couch, but the new changes created after "the kiss", were set in motion. A new, more pleasurable seat was saved for her and she happily took the spot he had made available next to him on the bed. She had innocently fallen asleep there so the first night could have been called a mishap. But the second night was no accident. She came down after getting ready for bed, wearing a T-shirt and a pair of black yoga pants. She didn't say anything or wait for an invitation, she just crawled in next to him, smiling over the welcoming open arm that curled over her as she lay down. Neither said a word, both accepting the fact that they were exactly where they were supposed to be.

She hadn't moved a muscle all night, which told him she was content, which in turn pleased him beyond words.

He carefully slid his hand under hers that rested on his chest, lifting it ever so gently, admiring the long slender fingers. She kept her nails short but they were still well manicured and polish free, which he liked. This hand had amazing talent he thought to himself. Someday it would wear a surgical glove and work masterfully saving someone's life or bringing them back to a normal one. Or perhaps it would just hold another hand that was scared or in despair and heel them in the same way as it had done for him.

He couldn't even fathom what his life would have been like if she hadn't come his way. His house would have become a tomb, maybe even a coffin. He looked around now and every inch of it reminded him of some pleasant memory where she stood or where she danced or where she held his hand and just sat with him until it was better.

He closed his eyes again, bringing that same hand to his lips and kissing it. His emotions welling up turning to moisture in his eyes, overcome by the precious gift that lay close to him. She had plans. She had very specific dreams, which he felt strongly needed to be pursued to their maximum capacity. She deserved every bit of happiness and success in her life that she'd given him and he'd do everything in his power to make sure it happened for her; even if it meant losing her in the process.

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Tyler came around the corner of the kitchen with a glass of milk in one hand and Steve's breakfast plate balanced on her palm in the other. She had her headphones in but unbeknownst to him had no music playing, yet she moved provocatively as if she were listening to something slow and risqué. Her hips and shoulders swayed to a fro as she bit her bottom lip, looking at him seductively as she danced toward his bed.

It was about the cutest and sexiest thing he'd ever seen in his whole life, enjoying every second of her playfulness.

"Did you order some breakfast Sir?" she said in a low sensual voice, setting the plate and glass down on the table in front of him. "Is it to your liking?"

He laughed and reached out for her before she could back away, pulling her in and giving his reply before giving her a kiss. "It looks delicious," he said, his eyes roaming over her face, "perfect."

She leaned in, accepting his thank you and sat on the bed next to him. "What do you want to do today?"

"Hang out with you."

She smiled, "That's a sure thing. Anything else?"

There was something that he'd wanted to do for a long time. "You know what I'd like to do? I want to go to the North Shore." No sooner did he get the words out did he recant it. "Well then again, maybe not."

"Why?" she asked looking at him quizzically over his quick change of heart.

He put a hand on her leg, "If you don't want to, I understand. You have a lot of memories from up there. I'm not sure how you feel about it."

Her needs were more important than his. His concern over her well-being was just the tip of the iceberg she thought, of what it was like to be in his life, to really be a part of his life. She was genuinely touched by it. "You're a good man, do you know that?"

He now gave her the same quizzical look, "Huh?"

She shook her head at him with a smile. "Never mind. But yes, I do want to go to the North Shore, and no, it won't bother me," she leaned over just inches from his lips, "not as long as I'm with you," and kissed him for being who he was.

She slid off the bed walking to the stairs, "Eat up and then we'll head out. I'm going to go jump in the shower."

He watched her jog up the steps and a few seconds later heard the shower come on. He couldn't help but picture her stripping off the shirt she had on and then sliding the black yoga pants off next, standing in his bathroom completely naked. He couldn't feel the erotic effect that it would have on a normal man, but it still filled him with a want for her in another way. The human touch could be an amazing thing when the right person administered it, and Tyler was that person for him. He couldn't be with her like he wanted, it was physically impossible, but he still wanted her, wondering how he could manage that in the condition he was in, and even more so, if she would want him to. He began to feel he had so much to offer her but the one thing they would never share he thought sadly was a sexual relationship. Things were moving along nicely so far, but eventually the next step would naturally be an intimate one.

He stared down at his plate, moving the food around with his fork but his mind rolling over and over the fact that he couldn't accomplish that, wondering what he would do in the same situation if the tables were turned.

He thought of Katie and knew Tyler would never do anything like that to him, nor would he do that to someone else. It was still shocking to him that Katie would. He did eventually receive a call from her, but he let it go to voicemail not wanting to hear any excuse from her, or worse yet if it were a sympathy call. The message she left contained one word, _'Sorry'_. Her voice sincere, but the call went unreturned, as if just saying it over the phone somehow exonerated her from the deed. He wasn't ready to forgive her for what she had done.

Katie couldn't deal with his condition. She was nothing like Tyler. Tyler made him feel whole again, and she made him feel like a man, but for how long he thought wearily? She was a vibrant, healthy woman and she had needs, needs he couldn't fulfill.

He began to wonder if this relationship that was brewing between them was unfair to her.

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The drive to the North Shore took less than forty minutes. They made good time leaving later in the morning, missing the rush hour traffic through Honolulu, and most tourists came earlier in the morning to get parking spots at the infamous North Shore beaches, and the local hiking spots were mostly barren due to the residents being at work.

There was one local though that Tyler recognized as she pulled up to the end of the road on Farrington Highway after passing Dillingham Airfield and the beginning of the Kaena' Point Trail.

She rolled down her window and gave the Hawaiian shaka to a man leaning against his truck with his arms crossed.

"Hey! Aloha JT," she called out.

He smiled brightly, recognizing her car first and then waving back when he saw her. "Aloha T!"

"Who's that?" Steve asked, eyeing the shaggy haired pure Hawaiian young man in loose fitting board shorts whose colored had faded from the sun and salt water. He was the stereotypical north shore dude, Steve thought amusingly.

"He's a friend of mine who I told to meet us here."

He looked over at her, caught off guard by the unexpected guest. "Oh, is he hanging with us today?"

"No silly," Tyler smiled over at him, hearing a hint of disappointment in his voice, or was it jealousy she asked herself, kind of flattered if it was. "He brought out his ATV for us to use today."

"What?! Seriously?" His voice exemplified the pleasure over this unexpected surprise.

"Yep. I thought maybe you would want to take me for a ride?"

His smile faded, "I can't drive…"

"All the shifting is done by hand," she explained.

He raised an eyebrow, "Really, no foot shifting?"

Tyler shook her head with a confident grin, "Not on his."

"Tyler, Tyler!" He said her name as if using it to express his excitement. He looked past her out the window as JT rolled it out the back of his older Ford pickup. The four-wheeled ATV wasn't new but it looked in decent enough shape. "I can't wait to get on that."

She got out of the car and leaned back over talking to him, "You do understand there is going to be rules. It's not going to be a free for all on that thing."

"Yea, yea," he said, waving her off as he smiled, hearing JT start it and rev up the engine.

"Steve, I'm serious."

He looked over at her, "I know. I'll be careful. I wouldn't do anything to put you in any danger anyway." He didn't see the pleased expression on her face over that, he was too busy staring at the toy that he was going to get to play with. It felt like Christmas morning to him.

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Tyler held on around his waist as he followed the dirt trail that ran parallel to the ocean. It wasn't flat by any means, but he took his time as promised, only gunning it once or twice to get up a particularly steep area.

He turned toward the waters edge knowing of a spot that was coming up but couldn't remember exactly where. He'd hiked this trail several times but didn't know it as well as others. There was a place the locals called Hidden Beach. It was small which attributed to how it got its name, but it was big enough that he could drive down to the edge of the sand.

He followed the coast for about a quarter mile before Tyler questioned him.

"Are you looking for Hidden Beach?" she asked, talking over the sound of the engine.

"Yes. Isn't it right up here?"

She pointed to an area a couple of hundred yards up.

He nodded his understanding and picked up speed as they went over the rocky terrain, recognizing the overlaying bush that hid it.

Tyler smiled seeing that it was indeed empty of any inhabitants. "Let's stop for a bit," she suggested. "I'm thirsty."

He nodded again and pulled up to a spot where the bushes were less dense, "Hey, jump off and lift those out of the way so I can get through."

She understood his meaning and slid off the back, making her way to the front of the ATV, using both hands to grab ahold of the larger limbs and pulling them back away from him, opening up the trail as he carefully made his way past her. She let them go and they hid the trail once again.

She came up behind him as he turned off the engine and stared out at the waves that gently lapped up on the small beach about a hundred feet in front of him. On either side were rock formations that went up about twenty feet, too high to jump from and too awkward in their steep formation to climb. The only way in or out was by the bushes.

"I camped here once," she said, wiggling out of her backpack.

"Really? With your Mom?"

She nodded, unzipping the pack and reaching in for the water bottle. "I guess you could say camping, but it was more like using the beaches name for what we were actually doing."

He caught on right away, knowing it was a time they were hiding from her father. He left it at that, not wanting to say anymore unless she did.

"Here," she handed him the bottle after taking a drink herself. He took a quick one and pointed to the water as he wiped his forearm over his lips. "Look! Is that a fin?"

Tyler looked out toward the water and caught just a quick glimpse of it before it disappeared under the water.

"That's a shark!"

"Not a very big one," he added, "but I guess no swimming today," he grinned.

"Are you having fun?"

He looked up at her as she shuffled her hand inside the backpack, looking for the granola bars she had thrown in there when he slid his hand around her waist and pulled her up close, "I'm having a blast. Thanks again for always thinking outside the box."

She looked down at his face, forgoing the snacks and leaned over kissing him, getting the hint by the way he was looking at her that he wanted one. She was correct.

"I'm having fun too." She glanced in both directions and then up on her tippy toes to see beyond the brush. "There's no one around, maybe we could fool around on this private, secluded beach." She playfully pretended to take her shirt off.

"Maybe in another life," he huffed, a little taken back that she would throw that in his face, knowing he couldn't and wishing it hadn't been brought up. He had been having fun.

"It was just a suggestion," she snapped back, embarrassed by her proposition now, "you don't have to get all bent out of shape. I know indecent exposure might be against the law but lighten up. We're in paradise."

He looked at her confusingly, missing her point. "What? What are you talking about?"

She looked at him the same way. "What are you talking about? You sound kind of prudish. Haven't you ever fooled around on the beach with a girl?"

"Of course I have."

"Have your scruples changed then, or is it just me that you don't want to fool around with?" She began to wonder if maybe he had changed his mind about her in that way.

"Tyler," he shook his head bewildered over her attitude that became defensive. "What you're asking of me is impossible. I can't feel anything! Jesus, you of all people should know that! So why ask that of me?"

It hit her then that they were having two totally different conversations. He had become more than just a patient to her. It was also the first time that she had completely forgotten that he was a paraplegic, he was just so strong and capable it had eluded her, but it also angered her, the words that he used to describe himself sexually, as if he were void of it all together. She had forgotten about his paralysis but not for one second had she even considered him unable to have a sexual relationship with her.

"You can't feel anything?" she replied with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

He looked away from her and out toward the water, putting his hands back on the handlebars of the ATV. "Just forget it. Let's just go."

She turned the key of the engine to the off position.

"Tyler," he sighed, not wanting to go any further with this subject, but quickly realized she had no intention of letting him off the hook.

She put her hand on his face, "Can you feel this?" she asked, slowly gliding her fingers over his course whiskers.

He didn't respond but didn't object either to her contradicting his testimony.

She slid a leg over the cushioned gas tank, sitting on it as they faced each other; her legs spread apart, each one resting over one of his.

"Can you feel this?" she said again, moving her hands over his shoulders and down his chest.

He stared at her but she didn't look directly at him, her eyes roaming over his body as she lifted up on the bottom of his shirt. He hesitated for a second but lifted his arms allowing her to take it off.

She smiled at the masculinity of his bare body, running both her hands over his beautifully sculptured breastbone. It was then that she looked at him.

"Can you feel this?"

He could feel the heat of the day beating down on him. He could feel the mist from the ocean in the breeze that blew their way, but most of all he could feel her, all the way to his core.

She had his attention now, making her point clear to him that indeed he could feel sexual. She pulled up on the bottom of her tank top, lifting it over her head, exposing herself to him. She kept her gaze steady on him, seeing his attention focus on her bare breasts and then back up to her eyes. She took his right hand and laid it on her body, her nipples reacting to the warmth of his hand as he engaged her.

"Can you feel me?" she asked him, her voice weak from the motion and tenderness of his touch.

He was wrong. He'd never been so wrong about anything in his entire life. Her tanned skin was soft and unbelievably smooth; her breast full, fitting perfectly in his hand. He should have known better than to argue with her, once again she worked her magic on him, only this time she had given a part of herself to help his cause, it was her soul that he was feeling more than anything else. Her sweet, never ending will to make him happy.

He surrendered to her, knowing she knew best, she always did. He couldn't argue his point because he didn't have one anymore, all he could feel was her, and his need for her that gained momentum like an approaching storm, going from calm and mild to explosive as he slid a hand behind her neck, pulling her down close to his lips.

"I feel you," he whispered, removing his hand from her breast and wrapped it around her lower waist, sliding her down off the gas tank as she straddled him now. His piercing blue eyes were transfixed on her. "You feel good, Tyler. You make me feel..." he grinned seductively, "hard." His flirtatious smile over his choice of words made her deliriously happy, but it was his kiss that proved to her he was not only capable, but also willing to engage sexually with her.

His chest hairs tickled her breasts, producing the most incredibly erotic sensation. He was strong and the smell of his sweat mixed with the aftershave he had on gave off a masculine aroma that was like an aphrodisiac. It didn't matter to her that he couldn't perform like other men, he wasn't like any man she had ever been with and would soon learn that he was skillfully gifted in being able to please her more than any man ever had.

In spite of his lack of certain abilities he still felt completely uninhibited, taking control of their liaison, confident in knowing that it was what Tyler wanted of him. He might have a few limitations but to his advantage he was no virgin. He'd experienced enough sexual encounters in his life to know his way around the female body. To his great pleasure, this particular woman topped them all.

She tilted her head back as his lips moved from her neck down her throat, following the path to her right nipple that he took into his mouth, feeling her body react as he suckled on this delicacy, very aware of the delightful sensations that he was being rewarded from it as well.

He teased her relentlessly with his tongue until she felt she might die from the pleasure, only to have him move to the other one, repeating the deliriously gratifying motion, all the while his fingertips caressing up and down her back, the sides of her body, touching her in places that she never knew were so sensitive.

Her insides were in turmoil, following his lead as he laid her back, holding her head with one hand while the other moved between her breasts and down her body that was slippery from sweat, making the moment even more erotic for the both of them. It was as if he could hear her every thought, partaking of her in every way that she was begging for, wanting to be consumed by him.

Her hand felt good as it glided through his hair, following his movement. It reminded him of the first time she had touched him that way, pulling him out of his despair with her magical touch as she massaged his neck until he collapsed from the sheer comfort of it. He strived to bring that same thrill to her now which she had bestowed upon him so many times before when he needed it the most.

She let out a whimper and reached over her head with both hands gripping on to the handlebars to steady herself as his hand moved down her stomach and between her legs, caressing her ever so gently over the athletic shorts she had on. Her breathing came in short quick gasps reacting to the little electric shocks that were coursing through her.

He took his time letting it build up in her before allowing her to release, knowing exactly what he was doing to her and loving every sensual reaction that she had from it. He could feel the wetness past the material, which only ignited his enjoyment, only because he knew she wanted him that badly. If it had been another life he would have stripped her of the encumbrances and stood up, plunging himself into her over and over until neither one could take the sheer pleasure of it any longer. They would use the other to reach that incredible high before settling back to earth again…but this wasn't another life, this was their life and if he hadn't been shot and confined to a wheelchair then neither of them would be in this place they were now, together.

His mouth covered her breast again at the same time he slipped beneath the material of her shorts. She gasped, reaching down with her hand and clutching his shoulder as he caressed his thumb over her softly and then more forcefully and then just to entice her, he'd stop all together. She lifted her hips begging for the sensation to return. He didn't make her wait and smiled as he moved to her other breast, deciding that he'd tortured her long enough.

She dug her fingertips into his shoulder as the caressing returned and with even more enthusiasm. Her body tightened and then shuddered as the orgasm rippled through her.

Her back arched and the nipple in his mouth hardened. He heard his name called out in the most sensuous of voices that he'd ever heard, feeling his own euphoric rush that tingled in his head. It wasn't as powerful as climaxing but it in it's own right it felt good to him.

Tyler finally opened her eyes, staring up at the blue sky. Her body felt weak and she had no idea how she was even balancing on the small space until she felt his hands gripping her tightly by the waist, holding her in place. She barely had the strength to move and it was an effort but she lifted her head and looked down her body at him as he smiled up at her. He used that strength she had helped develop and lowered her back down until she was straddling him again and then pulled her up so they were face to face.

Neither spoke but she took this opportunity to thank him properly for the good deed with a kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck, feeling his go around her naked torso.

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Tyler came out of the water, still topless, holding her dripping wet tank top as she ran up the small beach to the ATV.

Steve watched the heavenly image before him with a relaxed enjoyment. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about that. She held his gaze as she slowed her pace coming up on him still sitting on the ATV.

"Ready?" she asked him with a playful grin.

"Do me," he replied, closing his eyes as she wrung out the soaking wet shirt over his head. She used it then to wipe his face off and kissed him before he had a chance to open his eyes back up again.

"Feel better?"

He looked at her, seeing something different in her eyes, wondering if he held the same look, he certainly felt it. "I've felt better ever since that day you came through my front door."

She looked down, smiling shyly over his adoration but the impact of it was making her giddy inside. She felt his hand touch her face as he moved the limp hair away from it.

"I want the best for you Tyler," he said to her. "No matter what it is, I'll make sure you get it."

She looked up at him, seeing the sincerity and truth to that in his eyes. She had never had anyone since her mother who put her first, and she felt that's where she was placed with him now. It was overwhelmingly comforting. "I believe you."

She trusted him. He loved that about her more than just about anything else. He took the shirt from her hands and shook it out, opening up the bottom as she slipped her head and arms through and he pulled it down. It stuck to her body, showing off the perfectly proportioned breasts but would dry quickly in the Hawaiian sun.

He flipped the key on the ATV and started it up. She lifted the brush again that hid their tiny piece of paradise and also a place that both of them would remember fondly for years to come. He slowly went past her out to the main path as she caught up with him.

"Hop on sexy," he grinned.

She giggled and slid her leg over, moving up close behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist. "You can go as fast as you want," she said, "I'm feeling adventurous."

He laughed and leaned to the side so he could see her face, "I promise to keep it under fifty."

Her eyes got big as well as her smile. "Ok," she replied nervously, hugging him tighter. "Do what you must. You deserve it."

He laughed again and gunned it, making her scream out and then slowed down to a respectable speed, not necessarily wanting to rush back. He was having too much fun; the time of his life actually not wanting it ever to end.


	14. Chapter 14

Danny pushed Steve up to the table after moving the chair and took the seat across from him at the table in JJ's Bar and Grill. It was a mostly local inhabited establishment off the beaten path of Kalakaua Ave where most of the tourist destinations were located. The décor displayed paintings and pictures of local well known hero's like King Kamehameha and Duke Kahanamoku as well some only the native Hawaiian's knew, like Eddie Aikau, who was just as much a hero in his own time.

"Do you want to do a pitcher?" Danny asked him.

"Sure. You're driving," Steve grinned.

"You're buying then," Danny chuckled.

"That hasn't changed."

"Whatever," he snorted, getting the bartenders attention. "Hey, can we get a pitcher of your best IPA?"

The bartender waved his acknowledgment, grabbing a clean pitcher from the ones lined up against the back wall.

"So how's work?" Steve asked him. "Any juicy cases you want to share for my pure enjoyment?"

"Nothing at work worth talking about, besides it's my day off, I don't want to talk about work."

"What do you want to talk about then?"

"Oh a few things here and there but one in particular," Danny smiled, sitting back in the chair as the bartender set the pitcher and two chilled glasses on the table in front of them "Thanks," he said to him pouring a beer from the pitcher. He slid the first glass over to Steve and then poured one for himself. "How are things going at home with Tyler?" He looked up at him intentionally, wanting to see his initial reaction over that question.

Steve reached out for his beer as a wide grin crossed his face. If there were a gun to his head threatening him, there was still no way he wouldn't be able to smile when thinking of her. "It's good. Things are coming along well."

Danny laughed and shook his head, getting the exact reaction he was expecting. "God you're predictable sometimes."

"What are you talking about?"

"I know something's up with you and Tyler. I came over the other morning and she was asleep with you on the bed. You two looked very cozy."

"What?"

"Don't what me. Unless of course she always cuddles up to her patients, and if that's the case then I might break something so I can hire her."

Steve's eyes narrowed over that remark, feeling a punch of jealousy in the gut. "Shut up. Don't talk about her like that."

Danny roared with laughter, "Damn you are a predictable son of a bitch, and gullible!"

Steve took a drink of his beer with a playful scowl on his face. "You're an asshole."

"I know." He took a drink of his beer and casually sat back in his chair again, "So…" he grinned across at him.

"So what?"

"Don't play innocent with me, the cats out of the bag so fess up. What's going on with you and my employee?"

Steve stared at his beer, running his fingers up and down the glass that was already dripping with condensation. "I've been thinking about having that operation," he blurted out, looking across at Danny now for his first initial reaction.

He raised an eyebrow, not expecting that reply from him. "Oh really? Is this your idea or Tyler's?"

"Mine," he quickly defended. "She's never said a word to me about it, unless I bring it up and ask her opinion."

"And what's her opinion, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Only if you're asking out of curiosity and not out of accusation."

He shrugged, "Maybe a little of both. She and I talked about it once before and we both agreed it was your decision to make."

"Don't worry boss she's following your orders," his tone a slightly sarcastic.

"Hey, don't get all uppity with me. This was before you and she…" Danny paused squinting his eyes in question at him, "what exactly is it between you and her?"

He hadn't really deciphered that yet, "I don't know." It was a troubling question though now that it was brought out in the open. He was sure of one thing, he was falling in love with her, but still had that uneasy lingering thought in the back of his head reminding him that she had other plans that didn't involve him, plans that he felt needed to be pursued.

Danny knew right then and there that things were serious between them, at least they were for Steve, his uneasy expression told him that. "Geez, did you go and fall in love with her?"

He shot him a quick glance and opened his mouth to retaliate that claim but couldn't get the words out to deny it, not ready to share it with the world just yet, but then again realized who he was talking to. He couldn't lie to Danny about it even if he wanted to, he'd already figured it out just by looking at him and mentioning her name.

"Ah shit, Danny," he sighed heavily, "I think so." He swallowed hard, looking across at him with sappy eyes not knowing until that second how much he not only needed his advice on this but his acceptance as well.

Danny shrugged, "She's something I know that, but let me ask you this. Are you in love with Tyler, or are you in love with the girl who pulled you out of that hell you were living in?" He looked at him sympathetically, hating to ask that question but it had to be done. "There's a difference you know?"

"I know," Steve replied knowingly, staring at his beer again. "Maybe a little of both."

"Fair enough. So…is she on the same wavelength as you?"

She hadn't verbally confessed her feelings to him and neither had he to her, so he wasn't sure how she felt, which troubled him at first until he began to think of the two of them together and the way she touched him; the way she kissed him, looked at him, and honestly, just spent time with him. She was with him all the time, if she didn't feel it too then why would she still be there.

A smile slowly grew on Steve's face at this new revelation. He looked across at Danny. "I think she does. She certainly makes me feel that way."

"Well I guess we'll find out," Danny said.

"What do you mean?"

He leaned forward resting his arms on the table, "The Governor's funky is pulling the plug on your treatment. You're cured as far as they're concerned. Tyler's services are over as of the 15th."

Steve nodded his understanding knowing this day was coming, they both did. In a way he was relieved, it meant he was forced to move forward with his life, but so was Tyler.

"She wants to be a surgeon," he announced. "She told me she applied at some medical schools in California."

"Really?! Wow, that's pretty cool. How do you feel about that?"

"It's great!" He reached out for his beer, washing down the bad taste in his mouth over that huge lie.

"Hmm, great huh? Why do you insist on lying to me? You just got done telling me you are possibly in love with her and then in the next breath you're telling me that if she jumps on a plane and goes to live in California for the next six years that that would be 'great'." He used his fingers as pretend quotation marks, emphasizing his point.

"What am I supposed to say, that it would suck if she gets accepted to one of those schools, because in all honesty it would suck if she got accepted to one of those schools. But it's what she wants and no matter what happens between us if she does get accepted, then I'll encourage her to go. She deserves that and I won't ask her to stay."

"What if she wants to stay?"

He looked across at him, "Then I'll talk her out of it."

"Looks like she has no choice."

"Jesus Danny, it's UCLA, Stanford and San Diego, those schools are hard enough to get into, but to be accepted to their medical school? I can't let her give that up, especially for me. I mean shit, look at me? What is she going to do, stay behind and wait another year or two to get into Honolulu and sit around cooking my breakfast and taking care of me? No fricking way."

"Even after everything that she's done for you and not only that but has taken it to the next level of perhaps falling in love with you and you still think you're unworthy because of the chair? Why?"

"It's not the chair?"

"Bullshit!"

"It's not! I think she's ok with me being in this thing, it's the…" he paused.

"What?" Danny asked.

"She's young, Danny."

He shrugged, "So, so are you. You're ages aren't all that far apart."

He wasn't getting the point he was trying to make so he just laid it out for him, leaning closer so the other couple of patrons and bartender wouldn't hear, not that anyone was listening. "She has needs that I can't fulfill. I can only be there for her in limited ways, but not completely and I'm having a really hard time with that."

Danny understood, knowing exactly where he was headed now. "You can't have sex."

"Right."

"Have you talked about it with her?"

Steve grinned and rolled his eyes, picturing the beach scene a couple days before. "Yes, she called me on it of course. I mean we fool around…" he cleared his throat, "you know, we do stuff, but I can't…completely satisfy her. So where does that leave us?"

Danny shook his head as if not fully understanding the question. "What do you mean where does that leave you?"

"Never mind," he huffed, taking a long drink of his beer.

"No!" Danny replied testily, not giving him an out, taping his finger on the table. "You have to for the first time in your life look beyond the sexual nature of a relationship and focus on the friendship that you have with her. Do you honestly believe that it's the sex that keeps couples together for years and years? Because if you do then you're seriously mistaken."

"Ok, I hear what you're saying but you were married, and I don't want this to sound insensitive to what happened to you, but didn't your marriage break up because of infidelity, which has sex written all over it."

"Yes, it did, but not because we weren't having sex, because the friendship fell apart. I partly blame myself for that. It's the complete opposite of what you are arguing. I took advantage of the friendship because I thought if the sex was good then so would be everything else and I was dead wrong. Marriage is built on friendship and trust and intimacy between two people who respect each other and love each other, and when I mean intimacy it doesn't mean sex, it means being fulfilled by that other person in ways that puts everything else second, including sex. That my friend is the type of relationship you need to look for. I learned my lesson the hard way, but I won't make that mistake again in the next."

It made sense and gave him a glimpse of hope with Tyler.

"You're still you, Steve. No matter how much you think that chair has changed your life; it really hasn't. You're still you. That's who Tyler is attracted to." He raised his hand up as if showing him off, "I mean look at you. For one, you look like a fucking movie star, and two, you got a great sense of humor and you're smarter than shit, plus…" he smiled, "you got a great house on the ocean. That alone is a chick magnet."

Steve looked at him appreciatively, "Damn Danny. That was good. I think I want to date you," he joked.

"Nah," he grinned, "those are impressive qualities with the ladies, but from a guy's point of view, all those things make you nothing but an arrogant dick."

They both laughed over that.

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Tyler came inside the Post Office and turned toward the row of PO boxes going down the second row where hers was located. It had been a while since she'd collected her mail, anticipating it to be crammed full.

She unlocked it and sure enough she grinned at all the letters, pulling them all out as two fell on the ground. She closed the box and locked it again.

With the pile pressed against her chest, she bent down and grabbed the two that had fallen and froze, seeing the return address stamp on one of them showing the administrative office of UC San Diego.

She scooped it up and went over to a table and dropped everything except that one, taking a couple of deep breaths and then began to tear into it. She was about to pull out the letter that could change the course of her life when Steve popped into her head, another image that had changed her life.

She looked up and out the window staring blankly at the parking lot. Without warning she got a quick scenario of being two thousand miles away from him. It wasn't a good feeling at all. It hurt. It physically hurt enough that she instinctively put her hand over her heart to ease the pain. She looked down at the letter again and felt another form of discomfort. She wanted this so badly that she had prayed and prayed for it, but that was pre Steve. She had to ask herself if she could be away from him for that long, or if they could somehow maintain a long distance relationship and still pick up where they had left off?

She didn't get a good feeling about either of those plans.

The letter that she had worked so hard for and had prayed her heart out over lost its importance in that span of time.

The acceptance offer now had new meaning. She didn't care so much about going away to medical school as she did about just being plain accepted, because she was good enough to go to their school, and they wanted her.

She took out the letter and unfolded it, reading the first couple of lines.

She felt relieved and disappointed all at the same time.

She was safe in her place with Steve, but it was also disheartening to know she wasn't good enough to go to that school.

She crumbled it up and threw it in the recycle bin next to the table, placed there for unwanted junk mail.

" _Oh well_ ," she thought, " _San Diego was my third choice anyway."_

She filtered through the rest of the mail, keeping only one letter; the notice from the Parole Board indicating her father's denial of parole.

She smiled as she left the Post Office, making plans to stop by the grocery store and pick up a nice steak for Steve's dinner, forgetting all about her letter of rejection.

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Tyler came in the house carrying the grocery bag in her arms and right away smelled the aroma of fish.

" _Salmon_ ," she thought to herself with a grin. She loved salmon.

She came around the corner of the kitchen and smiled even brighter at Steve as he closed the oven door, understanding now where the aroma was coming from.

He was making her dinner.

"Hey," he said to her, turning his chair around to face her. "Hungry?"

"What are you doing?" she asked, as if playfully accusing him of doing something sinister.

"Making you dinner for once."

She came up and bent over as he raised his lips to her. "Thank you, I'm starving," she said before kissing him. "And I love salmon…it is salmon right?"

"Yep."

"It smells divine."

He wheeled over to the refrigerator and placed a quart of cream, butter and fresh Parmesan cheese in his lap, going back over to the stove. "Did you get all your errands done?"

"Yes, and how is Danny doing?"

"Good." He left it at that, not wanting to tell her just yet about the governor pulling the plug on her job. He wanted to wait until the time was right.

She narrowed her eyes in concern at his activity, sensing he knew what he was doing but the awkwardness of being able to move around his kitchen now warranted her need to offer her services. "Can I help you with something? I can shred the cheese."

"Nope," was his reply. "I got it. There's a bottle of wine on the counter over there. You can pour yourself a glass though if you want and go out back and relax."

He placed a cutting board on his lap with the shredder and cheese and began to rub the Parmesan over the smallest part. She smiled at his lack of obstacles, pleased that he was not only making the effort for her, but that he was doing a great job at being independent of her. "Ok. That sounds very nice to me."

She took the steak from the bag that was wrapped in white butcher paper and set it in the fridge, forgoing the rest of the groceries that didn't need to be kept chilled. The wine was already opened and two glasses were sitting on the counter next to it. She poured them both and set his over by the stove, "Just incase you get thirsty."

"Thank you," he smiled up at her. "This should be ready in about fifteen."

Her hand braised over his shoulder as he continued his efforts of shredding the cheese into fine granules. "I can't wait."

He watched her go out back and heard the patio chair being pulled out away from the table.

The pot of water on the stove began to rumble the lid, telling him it was ready for the angel hair pasta. He set the cutting board and cheese on the counter and replaced it with another wooden board and then carefully took the pan off the stove, setting it on his lap. He dropped the pasta in and stirred it around getting it separated before setting it back up on the stove. He picked up an extension wand that Danny had bought for him while at the store and used it to turn the dial of the element to medium.

"Sometimes you are brilliant Danny," he whispered, praising him for his quick solution to the problem they were both going over as he helped plan the dinner for Tyler with him.

He peeked inside the oven at the salmon, estimating about another two minutes but not a second more, giving it just enough time to cool while he prepared the Alfredo sauce.

Tyler could hear him maneuvering around as she took a sip of her drink. She'd only had wine a couple of times before, but really liked whatever kind he had picked out, or maybe she thought with a smile, it was just the pleasurable idea of having a gorgeous man cooking dinner for her that was making it so tasty.

The letter from earlier came to mind and she contemplated whether or not to tell him about it. She still wasn't sure what she wanted to do if she did get accepted to one of the other schools. His doting on her wasn't making her decision any easier either. He was a lot more attentive and romantic than she would have guessed. It also made her feel special that he had gone this extra mile for her when in fact he had done nothing to prep for his date with Katie, accept to put on a clean shirt. Most of the festivities had been her idea.

"Silly, fool girl," she chuckled, thinking of the woman who had left him. She raised her glass to the ocean in a toast, "Your huge loss is my greatest reward." She took a drink but before she could get the glass to her lips she heard a loud crash in the house and some very choice cuss words being bellowed by Steve.

"Son of a bitch! Goddamnit!" he yelled, "Shit!" he flipped the cutting board off his lap that had cooked pasta spilled on it, trying to get his shirt off as the water from the boiling pot soaked the bottom of it, burning his skin at the waist, knowing it was doing the same on his legs but he couldn't feel it.

Tyler came running in and right away saw the carnage and knew exactly what had happened, seeing the pot on the floor by his chair and the angel hair pasta thrown all over, as well as covering him. "Oh my God!" she screamed, running over to him as she grabbed the handles of his chair, turning him toward the opened patio doors and quickly wheeling him outside. She forwent the portable shower knowing it needed to be hooked up to the sink and wasn't. Instead she grabbed the hose and turned the water on from the outside, spraying his red chest and mixing the cool water with the hot that he was sitting in.

He turned his face away from the spray as she doused him. "Tyler! You're drowning me!"

She handed him the hose, "Here, keep wetting yourself down."

She opened the bath doors and wheeled him inside, taking the hose from his hand and setting it in the bottom of the tub. "Lift up," she ordered, gripping him under the arms as she helped move him from his chair to the seat in the bath.

He did as he was told, not giving it a second thought to objecting to one single thing she said. She was moving like lightening and before he knew it the chair full of pasta was pushed out of the way and the hose from the yard was filling the tub at a rapid speed.

"Lean back," she ordered, "let me see your stomach."

Again he did as he was told, but felt no pain from the burn. "I think most it landed on the cutting board," he said, looking at her concerned expression as she gave him a quick once over examination.

"I need to look at your legs. I'm going to cut your pants off."

"What?! No you're not! These are my favorite jeans."

"Steve, you could possibly be blistering under there. I need to get your pants off quickly so I can look you over."

He smiled, trying desperately to hide it, knowing he'd be scolded but he found her last words amusing and rather sexy. "I've had women who have wanted me, but never in such a demanding way. Damn, that's kinda hot."

Tyler looked up at him in astonishment. "I'm on the verge of calling 911 and you're making sex jokes?"

Steve shrugged, "It was in the heat of the moment, no pun intended."

She couldn't help but laugh over that one. "How old are those jeans anyway, twenty years?"

"No! Ten years maybe, but I got 'em all broken in. They're comfortable."

"We have to get them off," she said again. "I'll lift you and you get them down."

"I'd like it better if I lifted and you took them off," he winked at her.

"Oh my god!" she laughed, "I could strangle you right now."

"That wouldn't be very nurse like."

She shook her head at him, "Lift up!"

He braced his forearms on the side of the tub and lifted his body as she leaned over the side and undid them, sliding them down.

"You're not very good at this," his voice strained from the stress of holding himself up.

"They're soaking wet," she growled, "it's…not…very…easy to work them down." She tugged them from side to side until she got them past his thighs. "Ok."

He let himself fall back down to the seat as she steadied him. "Hold on," She reached over and turned the water off as it began to overflow from the tub edges.

"I don't see anything burned," he said looking down at his thighs.

"Me either," she agreed, running her hand over his right thigh. "You're jeans must have protected your skin."

"See! And you wanted to cut them to shreds. They saved my life."

She rolled her eyes, "Ok, drama queen settle down." She looked up and sniffed the air. "Do you smell something burning?"

Steve's face became concerned, wondering if the hot stove had maybe caught something on fire, then all at once it hit him to the reason for the smell of burning. "The salmon! Ah shit! Go get it!"

Tyler ran inside seeing tiny bits of smoke coming from the oven. She turned off the broiler and reached for the hot pads, opening it up as a ball of smoke rolled out. She backed away and then reached in with her head turned to the side and took out the pan that held the black mess.

She came out back still holding it, "Well this poor fish has seen better days. Unless you like a little ash with your fish?" She set the dish on the grass to cool.

Steve blew out a long anguished breath. "Damn." He looked at her as she came toward him. "Sorry. I gave it my best shot."

"It's the thought that counts." She bent over the tub to him, "and to this day that will be the best salmon dinner I've never had." She gave him a quick kiss. "Thank you."

He leaned back, casually laying his arms on the edge of the tub shaking his head at her with a gratifying smile, "God your easy to please. You make it too easy Tyler."

"Would you rather I complain and whine?"

"No!" he blurted out, "I love you just the way you are." The words just flowed out of him, not taking into consideration the impact of that one four lettered term that stood out amongst the rest. "I mean…" he tried to reveal the true meaning of what he'd said, but then again wasn't sure it would come out right a second time and wasn't sure he wanted to amend it.

The word 'love' stunned her at first but as it began to settle she understood his meaning behind it. She decided to let him off the hook, "Ok then, no whining." For his sake she changed the subject. "This water is cold, you must be freezing. I think I've tortured you enough, and that mess inside needs…"

"Tyler," he interrupted her, knowing what she was doing. He reached out and took her hand that was resting on the side of the tub's edge. "Don't run off now and leave things weird between us because of what I said."

"I know you didn't mean it…that way," she replied, blushing slightly over their dilemma.

"I care about you a great deal. I meant it the other day when I said I want good things for you, nothing but the best. You've been like a godsend to me and in that time frame things…feelings have changed. I've got to know you, and I love who you are as a human being. You're everything I admire in other people all rolled into one."

She looked up from her shyness and met his eyes, feeling the impact of it as the hairs on her arms rose to the occasion and a wonderful tingling sensation moved through her body, making her tremble. She couldn't leave him she decided at that moment, she didn't want to.

"I feel the same way about you," she confessed. "That day we came down from Makapu'u Lighthouse and you had that revelation about your life," she smiled as tears came to her eyes over the memory of it. "I remember looking over at you and really seeing YOU for the first time. I thought my heart was going to burst. I was sitting next to the sexiest man I had ever met in my life."

It was his turn now to shy away, but she held firm to his hand.

"I know that you have reservations about being with me, only because of the chair, but I wish you wouldn't. The other day at the beach, " she smiled provocatively at him, "that was the best sexual experience of my life." She felt her face flush over the memory of it, "You're more of a man than anyone I've ever met in my life, and the bravest man I've ever met. You overcome anything that stands in your way Steve, anything." She squeezed his hand, "and that's what I love about you."

He could relate to her description of feeling her heart bursting, because he felt the need to cover his chest to prevent his from jumping out and landing right at her feet.

' _Don't go, Tyler,'_ he thought selfishly. ' _I don't ever want to be without you.'_ But he kept the thought to himself for one reason and one reason only, because he did love her, and her needs were more important than his.


	15. Chapter 15

Tyler lifted her head and looked at Steve. He was still sound asleep, breathing softly. She laid her head back down on his shoulder and stared out the open doors of his bedroom past the lanai to the sky that was beginning to show a slight glow from the sun as it made its way up over the horizon.

The house was quiet and she could scarcely hear the gentle waves rolling in off the beach outside. Normally the sound would comfort her, easing her back into a deep sleep, but this morning she was wide awake. Her head was full of thoughts that were not going to give her any peace.

The news of her job ending that he had given her the night before didn't come as a surprise to either of them, but nonetheless, it was still a blow to their current relationship and her living arrangement. She had planned for at least another month here but he had recovered too quickly, which she was delighted with, not taking one ounce of the credit, contributing it all to his strength and drive. He was stubborn. She had come to find that out in more ways than one, but it was working to his advantage in this case.

The very spot she was in felt more like home than anyplace she had ever laid her head before. The idea of leaving it behind to go to California wasn't an option anymore. She felt more and more sure that this is where she belonged, as long as he wanted her here. She smiled over that, recalling the night before as they made love.

The term wasn't defined as the coupling of their bodies, but they had a connection between them that was more stimulating than the actual act itself. He was gentle and she was always surprised by the way he could make the moment not only sexually dynamic but at the same time she felt desired. Even though his sexual drive was isolated inside of him, he didn't let that hinder his ability to please her. Emotionally he was there more than any man she had ever laid with. That was what made her climaxes so incredibly erotic, knowing all of his efforts were mainly for her. But she also didn't deny him the pleasure of being with a woman. It wasn't difficult to show him the affection of how he made her feel. His body was like a work of art and his kisses were nothing short of spectacular. His good looks could lure her in and stimulate her just as much as his hands. When they were together like that, relaxed in their own way, he was even more stunningly beautiful than usual and it made her want him all the more.

He moved in his sleep at that moment, turning his head and reassuring his hold on her, which in turn made her smile as she lay perfectly still, reaping the benefits once again of his affection, even while he slept.

His offer put forth to her to stay as long as she wanted in his home she felt was genuine. If she did, she thought, making plans in her head, then the bed downstairs had to go. It was time. Either she'd pull him up the steps every night, which was difficult, or she was going to find a way to have a lift put in, perhaps a makeshift elevator of some sorts since he was hell bent on not getting a stair lift that he could just sit in and go up and down. He had made it perfectly clear his dislike of those the first time it was mentioned. The second time he growled, but the third time she received a look that convinced her not to bring it up again. He was definitely stubborn she smiled.

For safety reasons they needed something stable that could get him down and out of the house in case of a fire. His suggestion was to just toss him over the lanai, ' _it's only about fifteen feet'_ he laughed, ' _what's the worse that can happen…I end up in a wheelchair?_ ' She smiled thinking how they both laughed and made jokes about it. She felt he had come to terms with his disability, feeling grateful for that and hoping from a nurse stand point that maybe she had something to do with it.

They did laugh a lot she thought happily, rising up once again to see his face. Only this time he surprised her.

"Can't sleep," he said opening one eye, grinning at her.

"How long have you been awake?"

"About ten seconds."

She laid her head back down on his shoulder. "Suns coming up."

"I heard that happens regularly, but sane people wait until it happens before they wake up." He squeezed her body still in his grip.

She giggled, nestling closer to him. "I was just thinking about stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

Tyler shrugged, "I don't know…just stuff."

She felt him inhale and exhale deeply, knowing he wasn't satisfied with that answer.

She had to be able to open up to him, speak her mind.

"Actually, I was thinking about being here, I mean after the fifteenth."

"Are you reconsidering?" he asked, now holding his breath.

"No," she sat up on her elbow looking down at him. His eyes were still a little sleepy and his whiskers were in need of some attention, but she was captivated by his good looks, feeling her insides well up with desire. What he could do to her with just a look. "I love it here. I meant I was thinking about some changes to the interior. I know you like sleeping in here and I could get you up and down the stairs every night and morning, but…"

"Don't say it!"

"I'm not saying THAT thing," she huffed, rolling her eyes, "I meant maybe like an elevator of some kind. What do you think of that?"

He raised an eyebrow, "I don't know, maybe." He moved his hand up and down her back, "Or maybe I could just have the operation and we wouldn't have to deal with any of that. Would that work better for you?"

In the past she had been all for it, but suddenly it took on a whole new meaning to her. She didn't see it from a nurse, patient standpoint or as a liberal 'he has his own right to chose his destiny' frame of mind. For the first time she was actually afraid for him in a way that sent a chill through her. There were three very possible options that could result from the operation. He could regain the feeling in his legs and go on to live a normal life again, or the consequence of removing the bullet could cause more irreversible damage, making him a quadriplegic, or the last which is what she considered the most frightening, death.

"Are you sure that's what you want? To have the operation?"

He wasn't completely sure of anything except that he wanted her in his life, but he had always been assured it was what she wanted, but by the look on her face which didn't show the same positive viewpoint from previous conversations that stemmed around this subject, he was getting the idea that maybe she wasn't onboard with it any longer.

"I know I've asked you this before, but I'm asking again because I'm sensing something different this morning. What do you think I should do?"

"Don't ask me that question, Steve. It's not fair. I can't answer it for you."

"I'm not asking you to. I'm asking your professional opinion as my caregiver, what you think my best option would be. Is it worth the risk?"

A couple of months earlier she would have confidently said yes, a hundred times over, knowing the progress of medicine and the three chances although they existed the one of it being a successful operation in her opinion was the greatest percentage of them all, but that was before, before she had fallen in love. The risk of losing him wasn't an option to her anymore, no matter the outcome of the operation; she wasn't willing to take that risk.

"I'm not your caregiver anymore. I don't want to answer that."

"Tyler," he said as she turned her face away from his. "Look at me." She hesitated but did as he asked. He was surprised over the tears welling in her eyes. "This is about you as much as it is about me. I don't feel like this is my sole decision anymore. Too much has changed between us. I'm not afraid of this body anymore, of this life. You helped me see what's really important and that I'm capable of moving on and living a successful life. But I want you to look at me, and tell me what you want. So I'm asking you again, what do you think I should do?"

She didn't like this part of the relationship but wasn't going to lie to him either. She was happy with the life they were slowly carving out for themselves and could continue to be so, but she also knew he wanted more capabilities with his body and to live as he once had, not only for himself but for her as well. She was making him happy now so his words of being content were understood, but in time the choice of even having the operation would become null and void and it frightened her that he would resent her for not supporting him when he had the chance.

"I want what is best for you. I think if I hadn't come along you would have had the operation regardless of what anyone else said, only because before me you had plans that didn't include my opinion. You need to stick with those plans and I'll support you either way. Can you understand that?"

"Yes, only because you had plans too," he argued. "I saw the disappointment on your face when you told me about San Diego. And then you went on to tell me it didn't matter, that none of it mattered. It matters to me and I know it matters to you. I want what is best for you too, Tyler."

She didn't like where this conversation was headed, laying her head back down on his shoulder. "This right here, being with you is what is best for me."

He slid his hand into her hair; holding her close, wishing that were true, and it will be, if and only if the next two letters came with the same results as the first. Only time would tell.

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Tyler sat in her car staring at the two envelopes in her lap, one from USC and one from Stanford. She wasn't filled with the same anxiety as she was the first time around, or when she sent out her applications.

She opened up the USC one first considering it her best hope for an acceptance, just needing that approval, not that she would go and leave Steve behind. She unfolded the letter and began to read it. The words ' _We regret to inform you_ ' were in the first line. She set it aside letting out an exhausted breath.

"Schmucks."

She sighed, knowing without a doubt that if she wasn't getting into either San Diego or USC Medical Schools, then Stanford was defiantly out of the question.

She tossed that letter on the pile of junk mail, and started the car. She was about to back out when she hesitated.

"Shit," she groaned. "What the hell."

She went ahead and opened it.

The first paragraph started nothing like the others.

 _Congratulations! It is with great pleasure that I offer you admission to the Stanford University School of Medicine._

She sat frozen like a statue staring at the words, unable to move on from that first sentence as she read it over and over, trying to get her head wrapped around the shock of it.

She had prepared herself for the rejection but was astounded at their gracious acceptance letter. Stanford had been the one she was sure she wouldn't get accepted to.

But everyone has that one unique college they strive for knowing it's long shot, but you still have to try.

The page began to become distorted as tears of joy filled her eyes.

"I did it," she whispered out loud. "I did it," she repeated with more enthusiasm. "Oh my god!" she screamed out, "I did it!" Her arms and body flailed about as she began one of her signature dance moves in the confines of the driver's seat of her car, not able to contain the excitement.

Her first thought was how proud her Mom would have been for her, and her second was how happy Steve was going to be. The idea of not leaving him had pretty much been set in stone, but this was Stanford. This was beyond what she actually thought she was capable of. Her excitement cooled as she began to really think of the decision she now had to make. She had to choose between him and the school of her dreams.

 _'We can do this,_ ' she told herself, backtracking her original plans, ' _if this is true love then we can make it work._ '

The idea seemed foolproof and easy, but as she sat there she realized with his condition and her schedule that was going to be unimaginably hectic, it wasn't going to be foolproof, nor easy by any means. She was twenty-seven, he was thirty four, by the time she finished school and would be able to move back to the islands he would be forty. How could she ask him to wait for her? Would she be able to wait for him? Would the separation inevitably come between them until they became strangers again?

She stared down at the letter again not feeling the same enthusiasm. Her head and heart torn over the decision that had to be made and made soon. The letter was already five days old and the date for registration was drawing near. A whole new set of problems overcame her, expenses. She hadn't investigated too much on the cost of Stanford, considering the chances of her getting in, which she was still reeling over, but she knew it was going to be a lot, maybe twice as much as the other two, but then again she thought, this was Stanford. The level of education and prestige that came with it would pay off in the long run. She'd make it work even if she had to work two jobs. The motivation was there, but so was the truth that her time would be even more occupied. The distance between she and Steve was growing by the second.

She leaned forward, resting her forehead on the steering wheel already feeling exhausted over the enormous decision that she was confronted with.

"I miss you Mom. I wish you were here." She sighed heavily. "Tell me what to do? Give me a sign."

Seconds after the words left her lips; her phone buzzed, alerting her of an incoming text.

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Steve sat in his chair in the corner of the living room and watched the three native Hawaiian men dressed in cargo shorts and matching blue t-shirts that displayed the business emblem for the construction company they worked for. They each had a tool belt hanging around their waists as they sawed, drilled, hammered and constructed the roll-in lift that was going to take him from the first floor to the second in forty eight seconds by the push of a button.

Tyler was true to her words, involving a friend of hers from the hospital whose husband was a contractor that had built luxury homes on all four islands, some of which included elevators. She gave him the idea and within a week he had his crew there, setting the plans into motion.

"Sir," one of the men asked, looking over at him, "do you want the gate to swing out to the left or right? We can make it go anyway you want, depending on if you are right or left handed."

Steve imitated the motion with both hands to decide on which he was more comfortable with, but in the end used a different approach. "I think I would actually like it to swing out toward the wall so I can just leave it open and it won't be in the way."

The guy made a face as if telling him that was a good plan. "Ok, sounds good, I can do that."

"Thank you."

After three days of steady work from eight in the morning until five at night, it was almost done.

He picked up his cell phone on his lap and texted Tyler.

 _'Hey gorgeous. Work almost complete. Get home soon so I can take you on the first ride up to my bedroom and thank you properly'_

Tyler smiled as she read it. "Well that's a sign," she laughed, but the smile faded. Before she had to make any decision, she had to tell him about the letter.

She put herself in his shoes and what it would be like if he told her he was going away for six years.

Playing out that scenario in her head brought fresh tears to her eyes. She wouldn't handle it well but if it were something he really wanted or felt strongly about, she wouldn't stand in his way either. She knew without a doubt that he would do the same for her.

That pleasant thought didn't help her matter it only made it more clear that the decision, whatever it may be, was going to be extremely difficult to make. She loved him, but did she love him enough to give up her dream, and would she be able to live with that decision and not regret it, or resent him for it if things didn't work out between them.

"Hell," she said out loud, "I don't even know if he feels that strongly about me. This could all be for nothing." But deep down inside she couldn't use that excuse, knowing that he did care for her.

There was no easy way in or out. Whatever choice she made she was going to be giving something up that meant the world to her.

"Damn it," she said agonizingly, "What am I going to do?"

The letter had detailed instructions alerting her of the final submission date for acceptance. She had two weeks to accept or her place would go to another applicant.

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Steve shook hands with each crewman as they finished gathering up their supplies and did some last minute wiping down of the new lift, making sure they left the house the same as they had arrived.

"Awesome job. Thank you so much," he said to the foreman.

"Good luck, Steve. I'm glad we could help you out."

"I have a feeling this is really going to change my life, so you have, a great deal."

Tyler pulled up to the house just minutes later, passing the two work vans as she did.

She came in carrying three bags of groceries, seeing first and foremost the smile on Steve's face.

"Where have you been?" he said, pushing his way over to her, taking one of the bags from her.

"Sorry, the lines at the grocery store were insane." She looked at the lift and smiled brightly, forgetting for the moment about her dilemma. "Wow, they did a great job. It looks like its always been there."

"I know," he replied, taking the last bag from her and setting it on the floor next to his chair with the other two. He patted his lap, "Hop on."

"What?" Tyler chuckled.

"Sit down. I'm carrying YOU upstairs for once."

She laughed thinking he was joking at first but realized quickly that he was serious. "Will it hold two people?"

"They demonstrated it with all three of the workman in it about five times, so yes."

"Ok then," she agreed eagerly, carefully sitting down on his lap, letting her legs dangle over the side. "Is this ok? I don't want to hurt you."

"I can't feel anything remember, plus you weigh about what, a hundred pounds sopping wet? You're fine."

He pushed over to the lift as Tyler let out a shriek from the quick movement, putting her arms around his neck to hold on. He turned his chair and carefully backed in through the open gate. The lift was attached to the wall that ran up to the hallway overlook at the top of the stairs. They had taken out part of the top railing and replaced it with an opening for the exit.

"Wait," she said, as he reached out and pulled on the gate, swinging it shut. "I just realized something. How are you going to get turned to get out the other direction toward the stairs?"

He smiled, "Wait for it…" He grabbed a handle on the side of the inside wall and pulled on it, turning the chair easily on its own, facing the other door. "It's like a lazy Susan."

"Oh my god, that is ingenious."

"I know. Your guys thought of everything." He put his finger on the blue button on the wall next to the white letters that read 'UP'.

"Are you ready?"

She held on tight around his neck, smiling down at him. "Up please."

He pushed the button and it jerked slightly and then slowly and relatively quietly began to go up.

"Were you totally stoked the first time you went up?" she asked him.

"Yes," he smiled, putting his arms around her waist, "because this is my first time. I waited for you."

"You did?" she replied surprised. "You didn't try it out first?"

He shook his head, "They wanted me to, but I wanted to wait for you." And was glad that he did, because the delighted look on her face was worth the arguing and odd looks from the foreman and work crew. It might have seemed silly and frustrating to them, but it meant the world to her.

She glided a hand over his hair and down his face, "Thank you. This is the second best ride of my life."

He cocked his head to the side, looking at her curiously, "What's your first?"

"The one you take me on when we make love."

His heart leapt over her choice of words when describing their sex life. He never thought of it in that traditional way since they never truly consummated the relationship by definition, but it didn't matter what Webster's Dictionary claimed, if Tyler considered what he did for her as making love then not only was he fulfilling his duty as a man but as her lover too. He couldn't have been happier with her choice of words.

"This gives you so much freedom," she said to him. "You don't need me anymore." She felt a wave of both fear and regret over that, but it was true.

"No," he agreed, "I don't need you anymore."

She was stunned over his response, until he finished his thought.

"Now I want you, more than anything else."

Her heart now leapt over his choice of words at the same time that the lift stopped at the top of the stairs.

Neither one reacted, too caught up in the moment as they looked at each other fondly, both reeling in the moment that was going to change each of their lives in very different ways.

' _I love you, Tyler_ ,' he thought, truly committing to it for the first time, ' _there's no doubt about it anymore._ ' That thrilled him and scared him to death too.

' _I can't leave him_ ,' she too thought, ' _I won't. I can't. I love him too much. He's worth It._ ' She had made her decision right then and there. It wasn't as difficult as she had thought it would be. It was actually rather easy and definite.

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Tyler slid down his body, feeling his grasp on her hips tighten. She understood his unspoken request and paused, allowing him to lovingly caress her breasts with his mouth, feeling the effects of it shoot through her body and past her lips as she moaned from the pleasure of it. She never realized how sensitive they were during sex until she met him, or maybe she thought dreamily, no one knew how to stimulate them like he did.

He used the grip on her waist to guide her down the rest of the way until his lips were able to partake of a kiss from her. She didn't disappoint him as she braced her hands on either side of his head and took control of it while his hands moved up her naked body, feeling a light coating of perspiration over his pursuit to satisfy that was making her sweat.

She could taste her salty wetness on his tongue from his earlier task, getting a strangely erotic pleasure from it. She lowered herself down on his body, her voice quivering over the sweet sensations that were alive and bursting throughout her body.

"I can't…" she whimpered, "don't make me…wait any longer or…I might die." She kissed him again, showing how badly she wanted to feel the final climax of their current encounter that had shockingly exceeded all the others. Every time felt like the first time and they just seemed to get more and more explosive at the end, leaving her dazed but deliriously happy and satisfied.

He did as she asked, slowly and methodically sliding one hand down between her legs as she lifted her hips invitingly. She gasped before he even touched her, the anticipation of it was just too much, getting the better of her.

The proof of her want for him was crystal clear as he touched her, feeling her body quiver. It only took seconds as he delicately stroked her with the one hand and held her head on his shoulder with the other.

"You feel so good," she whispered to him.

Her hand bound up into fists as she gripped the sheets of the bed, letting out a pleasing moan as it ricocheted through her.

Steve smiled, closing his eyes, reeling over the good feeling that came from hearing her so satisfied from his effort.

Tyler collapsed on top of him, not needing to steady herself as he did that for her, wrapping his arms around her body and holding her in place.

After letting it settle inside of her, she lifted up, craving a visual of him again.

Strands of her blond hair fell loosely on his shoulder as their eyes locked on each other.

She felt her body stir again as his hands roamed slowly over her back, one finding its way to her face as his fingers gently glided down her cheek.

"You are so beautiful, Tyler." His voice mirroring exactly what he was feeling.

She didn't hear it as a cliché' or something to say to fill the air with words, because she saw it in his eyes before he closed them and kissed her.

Her dreams of Stanford no longer occupied her mind. She was free of the burden of where her heart should lay; it was lying exactly where it was supposed to be, right up against his.

She rested her head on his shoulder as he reached over and pulled the covers over top of them both.

"I got the letter from Stanford," she said quietly. "I think I'll try for John A. Burns Medical School in Honolulu or the University of Hawaii in the fall."

His first reaction was painfully disappointed for her, assuming she didn't get in to Stanford, but he was also relieved, feeling guilty over it, but he was, immensely relieved.

"I'm sorry, Tyler," he said sincerely, holding her closer.

"I'm not," she replied in the same tone, speaking from her heart on the matter.

He didn't believe her, but let it go, finding no reason to argue the subject, it was done.

Neither said another word about it as they held each other close and drifted off to sleep.

The sun began to set over the horizon as they both anticipated the dawn that would bring new changes to their lives, but changes were coming in ways that neither of them could possibly fathom at the moment as they lay in peaceful bliss.


	16. Chapter 16

"Look at all this space," Tyler declared with her arms stretched out as she spun around in the living room where Steve's hospital bed used to be.

He laughed at her childlike behavior, "Yea, we could land a plane in here," he teased, rolling his eyes.

She stopped and looked over at him with a playful stink eye grin, "Are you making fun of me?"

"I would never make fun of you. I'm laughing with you, not necessarily….at you," he tried to hold back his smile.

She tore after him as he quickly turned and wheeled toward the open backdoor, trying to escape her playful wrath.

She reached him, grabbing a hold of the handles behind his chair, putting his flee to a quick halt. "Ha! I got you!"

He laughed as she wrapped an arm around his neck from behind.

"Make fun of me will you," she threatened, placing her other hand just below his ribcage, knowing he was ticklish there, discovering it by accident once while helping him move from the chair to the bath, using it now to her advantage.

"Stop!" he laughed, trying to lean forward, but she pulled him back and tickled him again, only making him laugh harder. "Pl…ease," he begged trying to pull her hand away but all his strength was lost on the laughter.

She finally let go and came around the front, putting her arms around his neck as she plopped down on his lap.

He wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes. "Truce," he chuckled, trying to catch his breath.

"Truce," she agreed. She ran her fingers through his hair, laying it back except for the front cowlick that stood up, but only made him look rugged. "You've got a great laugh, has anyone ever told you that before?"

He chuckled again, "No. I don't think so."

"You do."

He put his arms around her waist, "Thank you. You probably hear it a lot because you make me laugh more than anyone I've ever met."

"I do?"

He nodded, pulling her closer to him as he looked up at her, "I was thinking last night about the first time we met."

"You hated me."

"I didn't hate," he argued. "I hated the way you stood up to me. I was scared shitless of you."

"Is that why you hired Mark?"

"Yes. He was a pussy, you were a tiger."

She laughed with him over that.

He put a hand on her cheek. "I didn't know how much I needed you," he said to her.

"I did," she replied. "I saw how broken you were. I'd seen it before on patients, but you…there was something about you that tore at my heart. I thought about you for days after that, and then every once in a while I would wonder, hope, that you were doing well."

"You saved my life, Tyler."

"You make it sound as if what I did was something extraordinary. All I did was lead you in a new direction. You were always in charge of your life, Steve. I knew you would find the right path." She smiled, running her fingers through his hair again, "I'm just glad that you wanted me there, then and now."

He was overcome by her modesty, "Say what you want, Tyler Hyde, but I will always know the real truth. I was broken and you put me back together."

She blushed over his compliment, "Like Humpty Dumpty?" she joked, but he wasn't going to let it go.

"You are amazing in so many ways. I can't wait to see what else you're hiding inside that beautiful head of yours that keeps making me turn mine and see you in a whole new light."

She was convinced more than ever now that she had made the right decision to stay where she was. They were going to be very happy together.

"You better hang on for your life gorgeous," she smiled devilishly, "because you ain't seen nothing yet."

Her reply couldn't have pleased him more; neither could the kisses that followed, making his heart race. They weren't the stereotypical kisses that he had become accustom to, but a sure fire seductive ploy to prove to him that she wasn't all that she seemed up front. He was more than eager to not only accept the loving gesture but his response was just as affectionate to her.

Danny came around the corner of the kitchen and caught the performance in full bloom. He went to back away on the verge of rolling his eyes at the mistake of walking in the house and stumbling upon this private moment between them when he stopped, noticing in that second of eavesdropping that this wasn't just a kiss. It was a clear display of how two people felt about each other. It wasn't heated or even something that would lead to something more intimate, it was passionate yes, but it was also slow and unarguably exposing two people who cared a great deal for one another.

He did back away then out of sight, making his way back to the door with a wide grin on his face. He was happy for his friend who had found it, especially with the girl he had found it with. Tyler was perfect for him he thought, perfect. The lift that she had installed to allow him even more freedom that he admired as he made his way to the door proved it as well.

He was about to exit when he heard laughter, turning toward the kitchen again.

He opened the door and knocked on it, "Hey," he yelled out, "anyone home?"

"Danny?" Steve yelled back, "Out here."

Tyler kissed him quickly one more time before standing up. She bent over looking at him straight on, her face flush and her eyes sparkled with the afterglow of what they had just shared. "One last thing handsome…I love you."

"Hey you two," Danny said as he came toward them.

"Hi Danny," Tyler replied with a bright smile. "How are you?"

"I'm good. How's my ex-employee doing?"

Tyler put a gentle hand on Steve's shoulder as she walked past him, feeling his eyes on her as well as his hand go over top of hers just as she pulled it away. "I think I'll leave you two fine gentleman alone to have a nice chat. I've got some cleaning to do in the living room before the furniture is brought back." She felt a flutter in her stomach relieved that she had finally told him that she loved him. She didn't need a comparable reply, not having said it in the hopes of getting one. She said it because she felt it. The timing was perfect and she didn't want to put him in a position where he felt he had to say it back. She wanted it to come from his heart when he was ready, like hers was. And if it never came, then that was ok too, but she felt pretty certain the odds were in her favor.

"How's it going Buddy," Danny said, grabbing a patio chair and setting it next to Steve's so they could talk.

He stared off not hearing a word he'd just said, lost in his own thoughts. His fortunate little world just seconds before had gone from picture-perfect to absolute paradise with three simple words. She loved him. He felt it wasn't said in the spare of the moment but something she'd wanted to say, which only made it feel twice as good.

He looked over his shoulder in the direction she had gone, hoping to get a glimpse of her, but she had already vanished, leaving him wanting her more than he ever had.

"Hey," Danny said, nudging him on the arm. "You all there?" he laughed.

"What?" Steve finally said, looking over at him in a daze.

Danny smiled, knowing the meaning behind that look, only because he had witnessed the cause a few minutes earlier, everything except the 'I love you' part, but didn't need to hear it to see it all over his partner. "You look confused, a little bewildered," he teased. "Are you coming down with something? Perhaps…..loooovvvve," he said in deep, sappy voice, laughing at his own joke.

"Did you hear her say it?" Steve asked. "Did you hear it?"

"Hear what?" Danny now looked at him confused.

"She just told me she loved me."

Danny's right eyebrow shot up, "Really, for the first time? Right here, right now?"

"Yes! Just before she walked away." He looked over his shoulder again. "It was just…I mean, I don't want to say it was out of the blue, but it was completely out of the blue."

Danny sat back in the chair, crossing his arms, "Wow."

"Wow," Steve's sarcastic reply was in the same casual non-exclamation way in which Danny had voiced his. "What do you mean just 'wow'? This is like WOW! Holy crap, wow! I'm stunned, wow!"

Danny leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees as he chuckled at his demeanor, "Are you telling me that you never saw this coming?" he thought maybe he was mistaken at what he had witnessed earlier.

"Well…yes, no," Steve replied, his expression turning dumbfounded, "I don't know maybe. It's just that it happened so fast and I've never…" he paused, catching his breath.

"You've never what?"

He swallowed feeling slightly embarrassed, "I've never…I've never had anyone say that to me before. Not a woman I mean."

It was Danny's turn to be shocked, "What?! You've never had a girlfriend tell you that she loves you?"

Steve shook his head with an uneasy look on his face.

Danny now shook his head, only in disbelief, picturing the women that he knew Steve had been with since knowing each other, and out of those few had just assumed that at least one of them and maybe one before that had said it.

"Well," he said, "that's interesting. I guess in a way I can't blame them for never saying it. You are kind of a closed off, stone cold, unemotionally attached type of guy with every girl I've ever seen you with." He smiled at Steve's appalled expression of his brass description that he laid out so brutally, "but, then again, you're like that with everyone except for Tyler." He spoke now from the experience of knowing his partner and the display from earlier. "She seems to have been able to get beyond all that mumbo jumbo front you try to hide behind, didn't she?"

His expression softened, seeing where he was going with it now. He shrugged, knowing he had nailed it in the only way that Danny knew how, by calling him out and leaving him no choice but to just admit the truth. "I guess," he said under his breath.

Danny leaned in, "What was that? What did you say?"

Steve rolled his eyes, "I said I guess."

"You guess? Or yes, that's the truth?"

Steve rubbed his hand nervously over the back of his neck and squeezed his shoulder blade as if it were tensed up. "Ok, yes, that is the truth. I do allow her access to my closed off," he glared at him, "stone cold, unemotional attached self. But you forgot self loathing, arrogant, impatient…"

"No I didn't, I just wanted to get my point across so I picked out the top three."

"Well aren't you sweet," Steve huffed. "What are you doing here anyway?"

He reached in his back pocket and took out an envelope. "Tyler's final check. There's a nice bonus in there too for a job well done."

"Whatever the bonus is," Steve replied, "it's not enough."

"I agree, but it's all I could squeeze out of the tight ass politicians."

They both laughed.

"So if its not too personal, did you say it back to her?"

"No. She didn't give me a chance. It happened three seconds before you came around the corner. I think she did it on purpose so I wouldn't be able to."

"Hmm." Danny acknowledged that as an unselfish act on Tyler's part, not wanting to put Steve on the spot. "That's unusual for a woman to do. I mean in my experience," he snorted, "in pretty much every guys experience, that first time confession of I love you is always waited upon with hopes, or should I say expectations of getting it in return."

"That's what I thought too," Steve said naively.

"Would you have said it?"

He hadn't had the chance to think about it, but his first reaction when Danny asked was yes, so he went with that answer. "Yes," a smile slowly grew on his face. "Yes I would have."

"Wow!" Danny sat back again.

"Now I get the WOW," Steve grunted.

"Well yea! That's great. I'm happy for ya. Seriously. I am. I know you and I know this isn't something you would take lightly or say without meaning so yes, wow!"

Steve was beyond relieved with the talk between them, feeling less stunned and shell shocked over her charming confession, but he had one last question that he needed his advice on. "When should I tell her? How should I tell her? I've never said it before."

Danny looked at him oddly. "How the hell should I know? You say it when you say it. I'm not going to tell you when and how or where! It's none of my business. And you shouldn't want to it to be my business. It's between you and Tyler."

Steve nodded his agreement, "Yea, shit. You're right. Never mind. I'll figure it out."

"So I guess all that talk about wanting her to go off to California if she gets accepted to a college is now off the table?"

Steve's expression showed his disappointment for her. "She got the final two letters and wasn't accepted. She's going to try to get into a couple of medical schools here."

"Well that's good…isn't it?" he asked, confused over the painful look on his face, as if it were Steve who was the one rejected.

"Yea, I guess. I just feel bad for her. She really wanted it, even though she said it didn't matter anymore. I know it did."

Danny saw a side of him that was refreshingly new. He'd always been a compassionate person, that's what had made him a great soldier and cop, but it was the first time he had witnessed that compassion for someone that he cared for. He truly felt that Steve was pained over her rejections, even though it was something he wanted badly for himself, he was thinking of Tyler first. It was a true sign that he really did love her.

She came around the corner just then and to the fridge, "I'm getting a drink. Do you guys want a beer?"

"Sure," Danny said, "I could go for a beer."

"Steve?" she asked reaching inside.

"Yes please."

She took out two beers and a bottle of water for herself.

He watched her as she popped the tops off and made her way over to them, holding both beers by the necks with one hand. They made eye contact for the first time since their last encounter and she smiled at him in a way that made him want to say it right then, but he held back knowing it wasn't the right time. Instead he smiled back, giving her a quick wink when she handed him his beer.

"Thank you," he said sincerely, but not necessarily for the beer.

"You're welcome," she replied, biting her bottom lip, reeling with pleasure over his wink as she handed Danny his beer and who was getting the feeling he was interrupting something personal between them.

Steve put his arm around her waist as she leaned against his chair, not wanting her to go away again and also letting her know physically instead of verbally that he was happy with her confession.

"Hey Danny," she began, "Steve and I have been talking about kayaking out to The Mokes but I'll need help getting him down to the beach area and in the kayak, do you think you and Chin could help us out?"

"The what?" he asked confused.

"The Mokulua Islands off Lanikai," Steve explained, knowing Danny wouldn't know the local term for the twin islands.

"Oh right, ok. Sure, when?"

She shrugged, looking down at Steve as she put a hand on his shoulder. "How about today? We could be on the water by noon and back by three," she suggested, waiting for his approval or denial.

He smiled up at her, bringing his hand down her outer thigh just below her cut-off shorts and then back up again, "Whatever you want." He wasn't about to deny her anything at that moment, nothing.

"Let me text Chin and see if he's available," Danny said, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

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Danny and Chin held Steve by one leg while his arm was around each of their shoulders as they carried him down the access trail from the street to Lanikai Beach.

"You guys are so sweet," he said teasing them. "Carrying your Master and Commander out to his vessel. I feel like Mark Anthony."

"I'm thinking more along the lines of Cleopatra," Danny grunted as Chin laughed.

"I'm touched by your devotion," Steve went on, "I love you man." He leaned over and quickly kissed Danny's cheek and then Chin's.

"Knock it off!" Danny laughed, both of them struggling to hold him as they all three laughed. "I'll drop you right here and leave you if you try and do that again!" Danny warned.

They came out from the trail that opened up to the beach. No matter how many times they'd seen it and all three had numerous times, it was still awe-inspiring. Turquoise blue waters surrounded the white sandy beach. The two islands in the background about three-quarters of a mile off shore only gave off a greater beauty to the picturesque view. It was labeled as the most beautiful beach in the world several times over by numerous vacation and travel sites. But it had to be seen in person in order to fully appreciate the magnificence of it. The area was perfect for kayaking on a nice day since there was no wave breaks due to the coral reef that ran just off the coast practically all the way to the two small islands.

"It's quiet out here today," Danny said of the beach that was mostly barren.

"Monday," Chin said. "Good day to Kayak out there. Its off limits to rentals and tourists who don't know what the hell they're doing."

"Remember when we went out there, Chin," Steve reminded him, "and speared all those fish on the other side?"

"Heck yea! That was like fishing in a bowl, too easy. They were everywhere."

"That was a pretty cool day," Steve recalled, getting a jolt of excitement over this one as well. He hadn't been in a kayak since the shooting and was really looking forward to it, especially now after seeing their destination off the coastline. He then saw Tyler in the distance preparing each of their kayaks as they made their way to the shore.

"Looks like a weather front moving in out there," Chin warned of the dark clouds in the distance.

"I checked it out," Steve replied. "The Tradewinds are blowing northeast, pushing it out to sea."

"Hey!" Danny yelled out to her. "You ready for Cleopatra?"

Tyler looked over her shoulder and laughed. She stood up with her hands on her hips as they came toward her. "He looks more like Caesar if you ask me," she countered, smiling at Steve.

"Danny's just jealous," he said, "because the only time I ever carry him is during a gun battle."

"That's it! Let's dunk him," he said to Chin as they came out in the knee deep water where the kayaks were waiting. They began to swing him, pretending to throw him.

"You do," Steve laughed and you're both going in with me. He put both of them in a chokehold with his arms still wrapped around their necks.

Tyler rolled her eyes at the horseplay as the three men laughed and fought each other.

"Hello!" she yelled out, "Can we please knock it off, or I'm pushing you all in."

"Is that a threat?" Danny asked.

"Careful Danny," Steve warned, "I know her strength and she'd wail on you."

"You're on your own for that one," Chin laughed.

"Ok," Danny grinned at her, "another day."

They set Steve down in the boat as he reached for his life jacket and slipped his arms through it but neglected to fasten it yet. "Thanks guys for the lift." He reached his hand up and fist bumped both of them.

"Anytime Buddy," Chin responded.

"We're going to head out," Danny said, "we'll be back about when…" he looked at his watch. "Two?"

"Sounds good," Tyler agreed.

"See ya then. Have fun." They both walked off back toward the beach access that led to the street.

Tyler pulled on the end of his kayak getting him out into deeper water. "Are you ready for this?"

He smiled at her, picking up his oar, "Absolutely."

"Me too." She went to walk by and he reached out for her hand, pulling her down to his lips, "Thank you for this."

"My pleasure." She responded with a kiss.

He watched her carefully climb in her boat, wondering if she were waiting for the 'I love you' return. He felt it and had every intention of telling her too, but wanted it to be just the right time. It was his first time saying it and he wasn't taking it lightly.

"Hey," Tyler said, motioning to his life jacket, "zip up."

He looked down, and then did as he was told. "Yes Ma'am."

"Ok," she said, using her oar to push her way out next to him. "Do you want to lead or should I?" The uneasy look on her face explained her choice between the two.

"How many times have you kayaked out to the islands?" he asked.

"Three."

He considered that the same as telling him once. "I've done it countless times. How about you follow me?"

"I like that idea very much."

He dug his oar in the water and got a good head start in the first three strokes. It felt even better than he imagined it would. It was like he was walking on the water as the kayak glided over the surf.

"Hey," Tyler shouted, paddling hard, trying to catch up to him.

He glanced over his shoulder at her, holding the oar down in the water, slowing himself down.

"Don't lose me," she said to him.

He held off the urge to feel the speed and freedom for her, "I'll keep a respectable pace, but I would never, ever lose you either."

She liked that answer and told him so by blowing him a kiss.

They made it out to the island in less than forty-five minutes, having stopped a couple of times to look at a school of fish feeding on the coral in the crystal clear shallow water and then again so he could get a drink, which was only an excuse to give Tyler a small break. She seemed to be doing fine, but he didn't want to wear her out on the trip over. They still had to make their way back and getting out and roaming around the island as a relaxing period wasn't going to happen in his condition. The most they could do was pull up to the beach and rest, but it wasn't as calm as Lanikai Beach being so close to the open water.

Tyler jumped out as they came upon shallow water on Moku Nui, quickly pulling her boat up on the small beach and then waited as Steve got a good speed up and slid in next to her as she jumped out of the way.

"Wow!" she said impressed, "you really have done this countless times."

"Experience."

She pointed at the other three kayaks that were sitting on the beach. "They must be on the other side enjoying the cliff jumping."

"You can go if you want," he said sincerely. "I can hang out."

She looked at him annoyingly over that suggestion, "No way. I like it better on this side of the island." She bent over with her lips only inches from his. "The scenery is way better." And then kissed him.

This day was just getting better and better he thought, thinking about someplace nice he could take her to dinner. Maybe he'd tell her then? But then quickly recanted that idea, a restaurant would be too impersonal. He wanted to be alone with her. ' _Maybe in bed tonight'_ , he considered next, that was usually the time and place when he felt the closest to her, wondering then if that was too much of a cliché'? He rolled his eyes at himself over the pressure he was putting on himself over it. ' _When the time comes you'll know and you'll say it and it will be fine. Don't be a pussy about it.'_

"What?" Tyler asked, looking up at him as she dug through her backpack.

"What?" Steve repeated.

"Did you say something? You sounded like you mumbled something?"

"No." He shook his head, producing a quick smile and an excuse. "It was probably my stomach. What do you got in there?"

She pulled out a zip lock bag with two hearty sandwiches inside. "Turkey and pepper jack cheese."

He reached out for the bag, "That'll do."

She tossed it over and then took out two bottles of water handing him one as he handed her the other sandwich. She knelt down in the sand next to his kayak and took a generous bite, feeling her stomach growl as well.

"So I'm assuming," she began, covering her full mouth as she spoke, "that you've kayaked pretty much all over Oahu."

"Yep," he replied with a mouthful too, but wasn't as modest as her about it, "pretty much."

"Where is your favorite place to go?"

"Well as of today, the Mokulua Islands."

Tyler grinned shyly, picking at a stray piece of bread before putting it in her mouth. He was always saying sweet things like that, which made her believe that their feelings were mutual, but he'd yet to verbally express those feelings to her or even bring up what she had said to him. She wondered if maybe she had told him that she loved him too prematurely, beginning to second-guess herself for the first time since saying it.

She looked up as the three other kayakers came around the bend of the island.

"Aloha!" two yelled out as they went for their rafts.

"Aloha," Steve and Tyler said back.

"Hey," one of the men said in a native accent, "the wind started picking up on the other side, Brah. Don't hang too much longer. It could be a long trip back to Kailua."

"Mahalo," Steve yelled back, "but we're pulling out at Lanikai."

They all three nodded their understanding knowing it was at least half the trip they had to make and easier being a straight shot across. They all pushed out into the water giving the shaka sign before paddling away. They were out of sight in a matter of minutes as they turned north toward Kailua Beach.

"All alone," Tyler said with a wide grin.

Steve glanced over his shoulder in both direction, "Yes we are."

"What do you want to do?"

"That's a loaded question, Tyler," he chuckled, "there are so many things I want to do with you."

She stood up, setting the rest of her sandwich on the end of his boat and slipped out of her life vest, letting it fall in the sand, exposing her black bikini top. "Can you name one? If I like it, I'll keep going."

He smiled with a raised eyebrow, liking this game.

"I'd like to take you out to a nice dinner tonight."

She tilted her head, approving of that, slowly slipping her shorts off next, displaying the matching bikini bottoms. "Ok. Another?"

"I'd like to take you and a bottle of wine up to my bed and watch the sunset again."

She knew he was referring to the night they first put in the lift and made love and then fell asleep watching the sun go down.

She approved of that one as well, putting her hands behind her back and untying her top. She glanced around once more before slipping it over her head, holding it out in front of her with two fingers and then dropping it in his lap as she sat down on his kayak, lying across him, sliding her hand around his neck. "Ok. Another?"

He kept his eyes on hers as he ran his hand up her body and over her breasts, seeing in her eyes the sensual feeling she received from it. He only did it once, moving his arm around behind and pulling her in closer to him.

"There is one thing," he said softly, "that I wish I could do more than anything else."

She kissed his cheek, "Tell me."

His eyes changed in that moment, becoming somewhat saddened, having only one regret in their relationship.

"I wish I could be inside you."

She wasn't expecting something so incredibly intimate or romantic. It took her breath away as well as assured her of his true feelings, not having to hear the words directly, because in a way he had just told her.

She put her hand on his face, letting him know that wish had already been granted and they didn't need to have sex in order for her to feel him.

"You are inside me."

He stared at her, riveted by that reply. It was tender and so truthfully spoken that he didn't doubt it for a second, which only amplified his true feelings for her. He was completely captivated as new and indescribable emotions overcame him. Never in his life had he encountered another person that he truly believed could change him, or that he would be willing to change for them. Tyler was capable of both. He couldn't remember who he was before her, or what his purpose was, but suddenly he felt an overwhelming belief that he was there for one reason and one reason only, to love her unconditionally. This was the moment he'd been waiting for. It felt so strong that even saying it almost wouldn't do justice to what he was actually feeling for her.

Her heart fluttered over the saddened expression that vanished with one simple truth had transformed into a look that she could only describe as fascinated by the way he was studying her. He was pleased with her reply; she could see the results of it all over him, wishing secretly for the first time in that second that he physically could be inside of her. Just the thought of it was almost too much to take, not able to even comprehend what the actual feel of him would be like, but knowing it would be explosive to say the least, that she was sure of.

It was on the tip of his tongue, begging to get out. But the certainty of her declaration of love for him from earlier and this new form that she bestowed upon was getting the better of him. He was afraid if he spoke at that very second that he'd stumble or his voice would fail him from the ramped up emotions that were coursing through his body. So instead he showed her how pleased he was, saving the words for after the kiss that was going to change both of their lives forever.

She had never anticipated anything more than the kiss in which he was drawing her in for. She moaned softly the second they connected. She'd kissed him countless times, but this one was different. She felt she could see inside him for the first time and knew by the way he held her that a part of her lived in him as well. It was a kiss that told her loud and clear that he loved her.

They were both too caught up in the other to feel the breeze that wrapped around them until one that refused to be ignored rolled over the beach as if it rose up and took aim at the two of them purposely.

They broke from the kiss as Steve held her head down against his chest, blocking the wind and sand that blew at his back. Tiny pellets pelted him and shook the kayak and then all at once it was gone, replaced by the smaller breeze once again. The air-cooled as well, they both felt it in that instance as he let go of her and they looked up to the sky seeing the clouds that had rolled in unexpectedly.

The kayakers warning that it was getting windy on the other side should have alerted him that perhaps the Kona Winds, which blew from the southwest had moved in. The warning should have also alerted him that the pending storm which was moving out to see from the Tradewinds could easily shift and move back toward land, which he nervously felt was happening.

"We should get going," he said, looking back at her, the moment shifting as he felt an urgency to get on the water and head back.

She understood the importance from experience and his tone of voice. She stood up with his help as he handed her the bikini top.

"Damn, that came out of nowhere." She looked up at the sky again as she tied the top behind her back. The wind picked up again and she turned her back seeing another gust move across the beach as the brush and sand in the distance became victims of it.

"Shit!" she yelled feeling the sand hit her.

It calmed once again and she looked down at Steve.

"You ok?" he said.

"Yes. We have to get moving."

"Yes we do. Push me out."

She did just that and got him out in the water that was still relatively calm. He paddled out a way to get a better look at the pending storm between the two islands and out toward the open ocean, deciding they would probably make it back just in time. He looked over and saw Tyler jump in her kayak as she pushed it out. It wobbled back and forth on the verge of tipping when he called out to her.

"It's ok we got time."

She rolled her eyes and took a deep breath, calming herself. "Relax, Tyler. You're a native Hawaiian don't be such a baby." She liked the water but like most people she enjoyed it when it was calm and placid not when she was a mile off shore with a storm brewing.

She trailed him by about forty feet as they came out from the channel between the two islands and could see Lanikai Beach in the distance. Paddling seemed easier this time with the wind at their backs. It was easier to maneuver too until she suddenly realized why, looking down.

"Holy shit! Damn it!" she shouted, putting the paddle in the water as she turned her boat. "I forgot my fricking life jacket!" she yelled out to him.

He turned around and saw that she was heading back the hundred or so yards to the beach. "Tyler!" he yelled back turning his kayak to catch up with her. "Wait."

"I'll hurry." She dug deep in the water, going against the heavy breeze.

"Damn it!" he growled. "Don't go back," he yelled out. "You can wear mine. Just leave it."

She looked over her shoulder at him as if telling him that was completely out of the question, ignoring his plea as she pushed on.

She could see that it had been blown up against the rocks as she neared the beach, surprised at the tide that had already covered the area where they had anchored earlier. She jumped out of the kayak and ran up to where it was lying.

"Stupid thing," she grumbled as she slipped it on and ran back to her boat. She looked up seeing Steve about twenty yards out in the channel again, his kayak bouncing up and down in the water that had suddenly become more turbulent. "Sorry," she yelled out to him.

"It's ok," he said calmly but cursed himself for not paying more attention once again as they left, instead wanting to get out and check the water to make sure it was calm enough for her to maneuver. He shook his head irritably at the two errors in which he attributed to his head being in the clouds. They had already lost precious time by going back, considering for just a second to stay and wait it out on the island, but in his condition that might prove just as hectic.

She caught up with him quickly as the wind picked up since their last attempt.

He waited this time and reached out for the side of her boat, pulling it in next to his.

"You ok?"

"Yes."

Her breathing was rapid and he couldn't tell if that was from nerves or from paddling, but decided not to ask either. "Maybe we should just go back to the island and wait it out?"

She didn't like that idea in his condition. "I'm fine. Let's go."

He reluctantly agreed, something he would later regret. " OK, Just take it easy, stay close to me and keep your front pointed straight at the beach." He pointed to a large house, "See that house with the blue tile roof? Head straight for it."

She sat up straight and saw the distinctive house knowing he chose it for the obvious reason, it stood out amongst the others. "Ok." She smiled reassuringly at him, knowing he was concerned for her. "I'll be fine. I got this." She motioned with her head, "Go."

He leaned over and kissed her. "I know you do." He shoved off of her and began to paddle. "Think about where you want to go for dinner tonight," he shouted to her over his shoulder.

"Rainbow!" she yelled back, and heard him laugh over that.

She got about three strokes in and felt the kayak lift from the back, catching a small swell and catching her off guard.

"Whoa," she exclaimed, grabbing the side of the kayak to steady it and herself. The waves were getting bigger the further away from the island they got, feeling the tide gaining strength as she felt drops of rain on her face. She dug in deeper with the oar and made more brisk strokes trying to keep up with him. Another larger swell lifted the back of the boat as it began to turn sideways into the wave. She used the oar to try and straighten out fearing she was going to capsize as she heard Steve's voice yell out to her.

"Paddle with it," he yelled, "go with the wave like your surfing." He knew she'd both surfed and paddle boarded before, but being in a storm and the waves coming at you from unpredictable angles was not the same as catching a wave on a nice day. "Shit," he growled. Trying to keep control of his kayak and looking over his shoulder to keep a visual on her was proving difficult.

She did as he said, looking back and seeing another one coming. She dug deep and as the wave lifted her from behind she saw a large coral boulder just below the waterline unable to paddle around it or over it. The front of her kayak tipped the top of the rock, pushing her sideways.

"Tyler!" he yelled out as the wave came over top of her boat and flipped it.

She saw the rock before she hit it, taking in a breath and putting her hands out, but the force of the wave was too great as it slammed her into the coral.

"Tyler!" he screamed seeing her kayak surface without her and then seconds later her limp body floating in the water as another wave crashed over top of her. The rain pelted his face as he took two quick strokes trying to maneuver back to her, but quickly gave up the feeble attempt, rolling out of his kayak into the water.

Danny saw the first drops on his windshield as he leaned forward glancing up at the sky. He saw nothing but blue, attributing the drops as nothing more than mist blowing in off the mountains. It wasn't an oddity to be in the middle of a rainstorm in Hawaii without a cloud in the sky. The wind as well as the rain suddenly picked up as they neared the southeastern part of the island where they had dropped off Tyler and Steve.

Chin leaned forward as well, looking up and out the windshield, seeing the dark clouds that were becoming visible just beyond Koko Head Crater as they went past it.

"Damn," he said uneasily, looking nervously back over at Danny. "I hope that storm didn't shift and strand Steve and Tyler on Mokulua."

"Steve said he checked it out and the storm was blowing out to sea."

"The Tradewinds were blowing east earlier, but look at it now, now the wind is coming from the east and blowing westerly, the Kona Winds."

Danny looked at him oddly having no idea what that meant, glancing out the windshield again as he turned the wipers on. "The Kona Winds?"  
He pointed at the palm trees they passed. "The Kona Winds blow the opposite direction and are common this time of year." He leaned forward again, looking out, "Let's blow off lunch and head back to Lanikai."

"I'm already ahead of ya." He began to get a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach as the highway curved around the bend of the island toward Waimanalo Beach as the rain fell harder. Tourists who were driving convertibles were pulled over the side of the road, putting their tops back up. "You think they could have made it back already?"

"I don't know…I hope so. The surf can get pretty heavy out in that channel during a storm." He motioned with his hand for him to hurry. "They're probably on the beach getting soaked, so pick up the pace." He hoped that was the scenario, prayed more like it that it was.

Steve battled against the pounding surf with every stroke, fighting Mother Nature as she brutally tried to keep them apart, but he only put his face in the water and swam harder. The uselessness of his legs didn't slow him down, his adrenalin in full force as he reached her before another wave could thrash her into the coral again.

He stretched his arm out and grabbed her life jacket pulling her to him. She was unconscious and her head was bleeding from a gash just below the hairline. He pulled her to his chest and turned his back to a wave that crashed over them. He tried unsuccessfully to roll on his back to prevent her any more damage from the coral, willing to take the impact himself instead, but needed his legs to help the cause. He swam backward away from the reef pulling her limp body along until he felt they were back in deep water again.

He got his bearings, looking first for his kayak or hers, but both of them now were out of reach and too far off to make an attempt to swim to, especially with Tyler's condition. He looked toward Lanikai knowing that wasn't going to work either, fearing a riptide that could only cause more havoc in his attempt to get her to shore.

He looked back toward the two Mokulua Islands and decided that was his best chance. He'd never make it to the beach they had stopped at but felt confident enough he could get them to the front end of the island and hopefully find a secure spot to hang on to and wait out the storm. He'd yet to assess her condition not having the means or the will, afraid he'd lose all motivation to even save himself if she became a casualty to the storm. He had to get her to shore first and then worry about the other. He had to keep his head straight and work one problem at a time. Right now this was the most critical.

Danny drove slowly past Steve's truck, hoping to see the two of them inside, but it was empty. He wasn't sure how she would get him there without assistance but then again didn't put anything past Tyler's abilities when it came to Steve.

He stopped in front of the beach access trail that they had carried Steve through earlier and turned the police lights on just incase a squad car came around or someone questioned his parking spot. They both jumped out and started running toward the beach with the rain now at full force.

"Shit, shit, shit," Danny repeated nervously under his breath, already seeing turbulent waters that were normally calm as they neared the end. Chin passed him as they came out to a deserted area of beach, no kayaks in sight. He followed him as he ran up to an area that was slightly elevated, both of them wiping the rain from their faces as they scanned the horizon toward the islands.

"Do you see them?" Chin asked, one hand over his temple trying to block out the pending rain hoping to get a better view.

"I can't see shit!" Danny yelled. "Wait, wait!" he said pointing to the right of the islands. "I think I see the kayaks."

Chin looked in the direction he pointed and saw one and then as another swell rose he got a glimpse of another one, but they were not anywhere close together as he would expect them to be. "I'm going to get the binoculars from the car. Get the Coast Guard out here."

Danny kept his eyes riveted on the two kayaks as he pulled his phone out of his soaking wet pants, not able to tell from the distance or through the rain if the boats were occupied or not.

Steve used one arm to swim against the waves as he held Tyler around the chest trying his best to keep her head out of the water. He'd been swimming for close to ten minutes and felt he was making progress. If he could just get pass the channel between the two islands he felt the water would be less turbulent. He knew the island well enough to know the shoreline around it although parts of it rocky had a sandy bottom and wasn't impossible to swim up to. His only hope was that the waves would be less turbulent so he could drag them up to a shallow area without getting knocked around too much.

Chin came back moments later with the binoculars as Danny spoke to the Coast Guard. He pointed to the kayaks that seemed to be moving further away, telling the person on the phone as such.

Chin scanned the water until he saw one, feeling his heart sink to his stomach. "Its empty." He looked for the other one and saw too that it was abandoned. "So is the other one."

He looked over at Danny and neither had to say a word to know the fear and worry that the other felt. He relayed the news to the Coast Guard.

Chin stepped back trying to get higher elevation as he slowly scanned the water for Steve and Tyler, knowing they'd have life jackets on but in Steve's condition and the fact that he wasn't in his kayak anymore he could only assume the worse. He couldn't see them as he skimmed the water moving slowly in the direction from the islands to where the kayaks were, assuming if they were in the water they'd be heading in the same direction that the tide carried the boats.

He saw nothing on his second scan, shifting back to the islands and started again when he saw something colorful on the rocks. He ran over to an outboard canoe that was sitting in the sand owned by the house with the blue tile roof. He stood on top of the seat, getting another five or so feet in elevation and looked in the place he had seen something.

"I got em'!" he shouted to Danny. "I see them!" he kept his visual on them and pointed, "Tell them they're on Moku Nui on the leeward side."

Steve took in a mouthful of seawater and spit it out, coughing out the rest. He pushed off the rock to his left and reached out, gripping onto a smaller one that was just above the waterline, using all his strength to pull the two of them further up with the help of a wave that carried them closer to where he wanted. He felt his weight become heavy, knowing they were in shallow water now, reaching down as his hand sank in the sand, pushing back and pulling Tyler with him. He laid back getting another face full and grabbed ahold of another rock and waited for the next wave and then hauled the two of them up finally feeling satisfied with his position and not a second too soon, not sure he had the strength left to do that again. He was finally in a place high enough out of the water that he could sit and so far the waves were only crashing over his thighs, which were bruised and cut up from being battered against the coral, but he felt nothing and for the moment didn't care, all his concern directed toward Tyler.

He used the next wave to help pull her up on his lap, getting his arm under her legs as he held her like a child. Her head lay back and he could see the gash on her forehead from where she had hit the coral, blood running out of it and down her face. He closed his eyes and held his breath, putting two unsteady fingers to her throat.

He let out a gasp mixed with a thankful laughter as he felt a steady pulse, knowing she was just knocked out. He pulled her head down on his shoulder, kissing her temple and holding her close as he looked up at the clouds overhead, squinting at the rain that fell down on them, speaking to the storm.

"Ok, enough is enough! Move on already!" He knew these types of storms and also knew as quickly as it arrived it could vanish. He glanced at his watch, knowing Danny and Chin would be returning soon. Help was coming; he just had to wait it out.

He shielded her the best he could with his body from the rain and surf, keeping a firm grip on her while mindfully watching the water and the current, on the constant surveillance for a sneaker wave that could come up at any second and try to sweep them away.

He thought he heard a slight moan come from her and looked down. She didn't show signs of consciousness but he spoke to her anyway.

"It's ok Tyler, I've got you. Don't move and don't be afraid," he whispered to her. "I love you. You're safe and I swear on my life that I'll keep you that way until we're out of this mess. Just hold on baby, just hold on."

And so did he to her, with every bit of strength he had.


	17. Chapter 17

Steve heard his rescuers before he saw them.

The RH Inflatable Coast Guard cruiser came around the bend of the island and headed straight for he and Tyler as if knowing their exact location without so much as a hand gesture from him. It surprised him at first and then he looked toward Lanikai, knowing it was Danny and Chin's doing. They must have spotted he and Tyler with the binoculars. He knew it would only be a matter of time and true to his belief in the two men, it was even shorter than he had anticipated.

"Commander," one of the men yelled out as the other one prepared to jump in the water. "Can you give me a status on the injuries?" he called out.

"I'm banged up but I'm ok," Steve shouted back, "but she has a gash on her head and is unconscious but has a steady pulse." He looked down at her removing his hand from the open wound that he had been trying to conceal to stop the bleeding. As soon as he removed it, the blood ran freely down her face. He whimpered from the sight just as the other man reached him.

"Hey Steve, how you doing Buddy?" he said, lifting his mask and showing his identity.

"Billy!" Steve said, relieved that help was there but even more so that it was someone he trusted. "We need to get her out of here. Her head," he removed his hand again showing him the wound. "She's hurt pretty bad."

"So are you," he said, looking at the battered and bruised legs, seeing a couple of gashes that were going to clearly need stitches.

"I'm fine, I can't feel anything." He looked at him, reminding him of his condition. "I literally can't feel anything."

"I know Steve."

"So I'm fine, please take Tyler now and deal with me last."

"Alright," he said calmly, seeing the urgency in Steve's eyes and hearing it in his voice, "We're going to get you both out of here."

"Take Tyler first and then come back for me," he ordered.

Billy reached under her, taking her from him, as Steve hesitated letting her go, "Be careful."

"I got her Steve, don't worry and we're taking you right now too."

He looked up seeing another boat appear next to the other one. The rain had subsided and the water had calmed some as the storm passed and moved over the island.

"Be careful," he said again as Billy lay on his back with Tyler securely in his grip on her back against his chest as he made his way to the awaiting boat. He held his breath until she was securely aboard, keeping his eyes fixated on her as the boat raced away with her safely onboard as the another diver appeared to take him to safety as well.

He helped when he could but let the experience of the rescuer do his job, which was for the best because his mind was consumed with thoughts of Tyler and the danger he had put her in. They should have stayed on the island and waited out the storm. If he would have followed his instincts they'd be making their way back to Lanikai right now, wet and hungry, but she'd be safe and sound.

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Danny sat next to Steve's bed as the ER nurse finished cleaning the open wounds on his leg, getting them prepared for the doctor to stitch them up.

The two men exchanged a quick glance but once again the only eye contact was brief as Steve looked shamefully back at his legs as if watching the nurse but Danny knew he wasn't paying one bit of attention to her, his mind too preoccupied with the events that had taken place on the water.

He didn't have to hear a word from his partner to know the blame he was putting on himself, only because it was Tyler who was the main victim in this unfortunate accident. If it had been anyone else, whatever decision Steve had made out there would have been the right one, argued till the death. He never second-guessed himself, but this wasn't just anyone else that was out there with him.

The nurse pulled her gloves off and stepped on the trash can lever as it opened and she dropped them inside. "Just sit tight Steve the doctor will be in shortly to stitch you up." She laid a clean gauze bandage over the wounds to keep them clean and then went to the cupboard and took out the supplies the doctor would need. "Would you like some water?" she asked.

"No, I'm ok, thanks."

"Ok, just relax," she said before leaving, swinging the curtain closed as she did.

He forced a small smile for her and then looked over at Danny as he stood, repeating the same ole routine by looking away first, his expression showing so clearly on the outside what he was feeling on the inside forcing Danny to speak up first and getting it settled now before it had time to fester anymore than it already had.

"Knock it off," he said with a long sigh.

"What?" Steve asked innocently.

"You know what? Quit with the self-loathing. If you want to beat yourself up over what happened then I'll gladly go out to the car get my tire iron and do for ya."

Steve looked in the opposite direction and shook his head. "I knew we should have just stayed on the island and waited out the storm."

"Then why didn't you" Danny asked irritably.  
Steve shook his head, "I don't know. It wasn't that bad when we left. I never thought it would turn that quickly. And in my condition and the tide coming in, I wasn't sure how safe the island would be."

"Ok then. So you did at the moment what you thought was best. Case closed. I've never known you to make a haste decision Steve. The only reason you're agonizing over this one is because of Tyler. Am I wrong?"

He knew he was right. He could play it over and over and had several times, and in the end he still would have made the same decisions. Tyler was the only factor in this equation that changed everything for him.

"When I saw her kayak flip and she came up face down," he closed his eyes, recalling the panic that over came him. "It scared the life out of me, Danny. I was trying to get her to the island and I didn't even know if she was…" he swallowed, trying to dry his throat that suddenly closed up as the emotional turmoil of the events really began to sink in. "I was afraid to know if she was gone or not. I was afraid it would make me lose the will to keep going if she was. So I didn't look. I just kept pulling her along."

He stared at him, shocked over what he was telling him. He thought he understood his feelings for her, but grossly misjudged the love he had for her. "Hey, Steve," he said passively, putting a hand on his shoulder, "it's ok buddy. She's all right. You made sure of that. She's just a couple of doors down getting some stitches and sleeping it off." He squeezed his shoulder, "Seriously, let it go." He went one better, hoping to ease him. "Do you want to see her?"

His eyes brightened over that, "Yes."

"Ok, I'll be right back."

He watched him leave past the curtains and swing them closed again, laying his head back in the pillow. "Just relax," he whispered, "she's fine. You're fine. Danny's right, you did what you thought was right. No excuses."

The curtain pulled back again and he sat up, hoping to see Danny and a picture of her, but to his surprise another familiar face came in the room.

"Hey Steve," Dr. Kidder said, reaching his hand out to him. "How you feeling? You look good considering I'm about to stitch you up."

"Hey, Dr. Kidder, how you doing?" he was surprised to see the man who several months earlier had delivered the life altering news to him that he was paralyzed.

"Not bad, not bad." He removed the gauze from his leg, "I heard you had quite the adventure today out on the water kayaking," he smiled. "Your paralysis doesn't seem to have slowed you down. I'm glad to hear it." He moved over him, getting a better view of the wounds. "I also hear that you saved Tyler's life." He glanced up at him, "she was all over herself bragging about you when I stitched her up."

He pushed himself up, hearing the news, "You stitched her up? Is she ok? Is she hurt badly? I think she might have taken in some water."

He smiled, hearing his plea over her well-being rather than her pleas over his heroism. "She's fine. We're going to keep her overnight just for observation."

He settled back down in the bed.

He could see the relief that swept over him. "You did good."

"It was a struggle," he confessed. "I had a hard time keeping her head above water. Dragging her through the surf with one arm and no legs was a bit of a challenge."

"But you came through in spite of the obstacles. You sound like you're coping well with your paralysis Steve. How is life treating you?"

"To be honest, in the beginning it pretty much ran me over and over and over," he huffed, and then smiled. "And then I met Tyler. She pretty much turned it around for me. She's my nurse. Was…I guess. She took care of me in those first few months after. She kicked my ass is what she did," he laughed.

"Yep," he said, slipping on a pair of gloves, "that sounds like Tyler."

"Do you know her?" he asked, surprised over that statement, "I mean besides today?"

He nodded, "Yes. I volunteer at the rehab center she worked at. She was great." He prepared the suture needle and thread while he talked, making it look as if he could do it blindfolded. "I was the one that hooked her up with you actually."

That really shocked him. "What?!"

"Yep. After what happened with Dr. Carney it was unethical for me to keep in contact with you, since you weren't my patient anymore. He made that crystal clear to me," he winked at Steve, "but I don't listen very well," he smiled cunningly. "I followed your progress and when I heard you were going home I knew you'd be needing help. I told Tyler about you and she applied for the job, but I guess you hired someone else at first?" he asked as he stitched up the first wound.

"Yea, some very unqualified guy named Mark." He blew out a breath, recalling that month and how it almost destroyed him, but a smile slowly grew on his face thinking of her. "Tyler was his replacement. I never knew any of this about you and her. She never said anything."

Dr. Kidder shrugged. "Why would she? She was referred several times for in home jobs but only took on a couple here and there. I think yours was the longest. We miss her at the rehab place. She's a great nurse. She took care of a lot of the patients that I ended up operating on." He glanced up at him as he snipped the thread, "she also helped them in the recovery process after they got their legs back too."

Steve's jaw literally dropped open, "That's you? I mean…" he stared at him in shock, "she told me about this doctor that she knew that could operate…" he shook his head in disbelief over the coincidence, "that's you?"

"I don't know what she told you," he chuckled over his demeanor, "but I have operated on people in your condition. I was a surgeon in the Marines and worked in mobile hospitals on a lot of gunshot and shrapnel wounds. Some I saved and some I couldn't, but the majority of them that I did also recovered with full use of their legs. After I got out of the service I wanted something that looked nothing like the desert," he smiled, "paradise called." He opened a fresh suture package, "Come to find out, a lot of wounded servicemen end up in Hawaii before being shipped home. Before you know it, I found myself volunteering over at the VA hospital. That's where I met Tyler."

"I'd like to…" Steve began when Danny came past the curtain.

"Hey," Dr. Kidder said to him, "Danny right? How you doing?"

He was just as shocked as Steve to see him. "Yea, hey…how's it going?" he replied clearly shocked over the greeting, but not as pleased to see him as Steve was, recalling the night in the hospital as he witnessed the argument between he and Steve's surgeon Dr. Carney about how Kidder had given Steve false hope in his recovery, hoping he wasn't doing it again.

"He and Tyler know each other," Steve said. "Did you know that?"

That sent a red flag up to him almost immediately, recalling also the arguments with Tyler about the same subject. "No, I didn't."

"He's the one that told Tyler to apply for the job to be my nurse."

"Really? Interesting. What a coincidence that you're here today? Aren't you a surgeon? Why are you down here in the ER doing simple stitches when you could be upstairs working miracles." He used his fingers as quotations for the word 'miracles'.

"Jesus Danny," Steve said, embarrassed over his obvious hostility toward the man, "relax."

"It's ok," Dr. Kidder defended, recalling that same night as well only in a different way, understanding Danny's suspicion. "You're right, this isn't my usual department. I'm down here because I heard Tyler was brought in and I wanted to check on her. It just so happens the ER doctor on duty was busy and I wasn't, so I jumped in. Tyler told me about Steve and so I came over to see him and help out." He smiled at Danny, "There's no ulterior motive here Detective."

"How's Tyler doing?" Steve asked, trying to change the subject and ease Danny down from the obvious irritation that had set in, only seeing him this way when they were interrogating someone that he was sure was lying to them. He hated liars as much as Steve did. "Danny," he said again, getting his attention this time.

He looked away from Dr. Kidder and pulled his phone out. "She sends greetings."

He held it up for Steve to see the video of her as it played. He winced at the bandage on her forehead but the video ended up getting a wide smile out of him.

" _Hi,"_ she said sleepily, her image as well as her voice showed that she was obviously under the influence of some heavily prescribed pain medication. " _I'm ok. Danny said you are worried._ " She smiled over that. " _That's sooo sweet. I was worried too. He's said you're ok too. I'm ok too; we're all ok too. So that's ok,"_ she giggled. _"You know what I mean. I want to see you. Thank you. You're such a bad ass,"_ she giggled again. _"My boyfriend's a badass,"_ she declared looking away from the camera and up at presumably Danny. _"He is,"_ she said to him. Steve heard Danny agree as if appeasing her and told her to tell him goodbye. " _Bye, bye gorgeous badass_ ," she attempted to blow him a kiss but did the best she could under the circumstances.

Danny pulled the phone away, "This is were she laid back and fell asleep about ten seconds later." He slipped the phone back in his pocket, "Feel better now?"

Steve nodded with a grin. "Yea, thanks Danny."

"When I was in there, admittance was asking me about her insurance information. Do you know anything about that?" Danny asked him.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do. There's a large manila envelope sitting on the closet shelf in the spare room at the house. It has her Passport, Birth Certificate and other things as well as her insurance card. She showed it to me once just incase something like this happened. Can you go get it?"

He didn't mind running the errand on Tyler's behalf, but was more concerned about wanting to make sure that Kidder left before he did. "I feel kinda funny going through her stuff. It's your house. I thought I would wait for you and then I could give you a lift home."

Steve rolled his eyes, "Geez Danny, it's not like I'm asking you to go through her pantie drawer, it's in the closet on the shelf. I'm sure she wouldn't mind. Besides, I'm not going home," Steve, announced, "I'm staying with Tyler. And I'll need my chair; it's in the truck, and a change of clothes too? If you wouldn't mind, please and thank you," he smiled graciously.

All done here," Dr. Kidder said, placing gauze over the second wound and then pulling the gloves off and dropping them in the same trash can as the nurse had.

Steve looked down at his legs, "Thanks Doc. Could you hold up for a sec before you take off." He glanced over at Danny who was still standing there. "Can you do me that solid Danny?"

"Ok, ok, I'm going."

"Thanks Buddy."

He reluctantly left the room, not giving Dr. Kidder a farewell greeting but smiling curtly at him instead.

"Sorry about that," Steve said once he left.

"It's ok," he said, sitting on the edge of the bottom of the bed and resting his foot on the chair next to it. "So what's up?"

"I wanted to talk to you about the surgery on my back and if you think it would be something that would be achievable? I mean my being able to have use of my legs again?"

"I'd have to see current x-rays to see if the bullet has shifted at all. I can't really say Steve."

"I understand that, but in your professional and experienced opinion when it first happened, do you think I should have had surgery back then?"

"No. You were too weak and your body had been through a traumatic event, but," he sighed, wishing he had been his patient, "once you were strong again I would have liked the opportunity to examine that possibility very much."

Too him it sounded like a yes. "Why would Dr. Carney discourage me from that?"

"Because it's a risk. Any surgery is risky, but this one in particular has a lot of factors that could make you worse off than you are now. Doctor's are trained to heal, that's what we believe in, and that's what we want to do."

"Then why would you even consider operating on someone like me?"

"Because some of us also want the best quality of life we can offer to our patients. I feel I have the skills to perform that, if the patient is willing, but you have to understand too Steve that this is a risky procedure. I'll take a look at your x-rays if you want, but I will also sit down with you and tell you flat out the possibilities and the outcome of those risks if things should not go as we plan. It won't be a pretty picture and I won't blow smoke up your ass and try to sway you one way or the other. I'll lay the cards out but it's you that will have to decide whether or not you want me to deal."

"I'm dealing ok with the hand I've currently been dealt pretty well, thanks to Tyler, but there are parts of me…" he looked sheepishly at him, "you know, that I wish functioned for relationship purposes."

Kidder knew exactly what he was leading up to. "I heard on the video that Tyler called you her badass boyfriend," he smiled, "so I'm assuming you two have formed more than just a nurse, patient relationship. If I'm being too personal, then please just tell me it's none of my business."

"No, it's ok, you're right, we have. It's a good thing we got going. She's amazing in more ways than one. We get along great, but…" he paused.

"You wish sex were involved?"

"Well, it kinda is already, but not in the traditional way. I want that for her more than anything else, even more than for myself." Their sex life was working for her now, but would it sustain her for a lifetime? He wasn't so sure and it scared him more than anything else.

"I understand. Have you talked to her about this? Is this the reason you're wanting the operation?" he didn't like the idea of another person swaying the patient's decision, even if it were Tyler. Relationships don't always last and if the operation isn't a success then the patient could be left regretting the decision and feeling resentful toward everything in their life.

"No it's not all because of her. Well not really, and yes we have discussed it. She says its my decision but she also loves me the way I am and seems to be happy."

Kidder smiled over that, pleased to hear it, but was still weary over the idea of him doing it for sexual purposes because if that was the case, then he more than likely was doing it exactly for her and not for the reasons he felt he should be doing it. "Well then maybe the risk isn't worth it. You seem to be coping well, and if you are concerned about the future, I mean of having a family and all. That's still a possibility you know."

"I know. We've talked about that too."

"You sound like you have a very healthy, open relationship. It's good to be able to lean on someone when times are tough. Tyler's smart. I'm sure you know about her ambition to be a doctor."

Steve nodded, "Yes. She'll be great at it."

"I know she applied at Stanford, San Diego and UCLA. I wrote up some letters of recommendation for her. Do you know if she heard back from them?"

Steve expression showed his disappointment. "She did, and she didn't get in."

"Oh…I'm sorry to hear that."

"She seems ok with it. She's going to stick around home now and apply at a couple here."

"Good! I'm glad she's sticking with it. We need good physicians like her. It's a shame though; she was really excited about the Stanford application. She wasn't even going to apply for it thinking she didn't have a chance, but I talked her in to it. That's where I went. I hope she doesn't hold that rejection against me," he smiled nervously. "It's their loss that's for sure."

"I agree," Steve said, sincerely feeling that loss for her, knowing now more than ever that she really wanted it, getting the feeling that she had played down her disappointment more than he had thought.

"I have to take off," Kidder said as he slid off the bed.

"Thanks for sticking around and talking me through this."

"Anytime. You think about what I said. If you want me to look at your x-rays I will, but also don't forget what I said, this should be for all the right reasons Steve and not for someone else. This is your well being you may be potentially putting on the line, so chose wisely."

"I will, thanks again Doc."  
Kidder came out from behind the curtains headed for the elevators when Danny approached him.

"Hey, can I talk to you?"

' _Shit_ ,' he thought but smiled anyway. "Sure, Danny. What can I do for you?"

"I just want to ask you one question. Did you send Tyler to work for Steve so she could try and talk him into getting that operation for some medical quota your trying to meet? Using Steve as a perfect candidate?"

Dr. Kidder glared at him over that accusation. "No, I didn't! And I resent the fact that you would even ask me that question. I would never do anything like that, and Tyler, if I even suggested such a thing to her would have told me flat out to fuck off."

"Ok," he said uncomfortably, "I had to ask, sorry…but Steve has strong feeling for her and if that was the case…"

"Its not!" he said again. "Look Danny I don't know what your beef is with me, but I have nothing but good intentions when it comes to Steve's health, and no matter what you might think you know about me, I can assure you its probably wrong! I have no plans to throw him under the knife right now, not even if he begged me to. He has to prove to me first that he is doing it for the right reasons, and right now, I don't think he is. You say he has strong feelings for Tyler, well I believe that because I think he's thinking with his Johnston right now and not his head."

Steve laid his head back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. His thoughts on the woman recovering two doors down and the doctor who had just left the room, both of them equally had the ability to change his life, but in very different ways. A couple of months ago he would have jumped at the chance to have the operation, regardless of the risks. He had nothing to live for if he couldn't walk again, or so he thought, until she came into his life and gave him one again.

They were happy together. She never complained about anything or made him feel he wasn't capable of pleasing her, ever, not even in bed. She told him she loved him first, even though he was pretty sure he felt it first. He was happy, he thought, for the first time in his life he was genuinely happy. Why mess with perfection, he thought.

"You don't need it all," he whispered out loud, "you already have it all," and then smiled, tucking his hands behind his head, feeling relaxed over his decision.

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Steve sat in a borrowed wheelchair as he rolled into Tyler's hospital room while the nurse held the door open for him.

"Thank you," he said over his shoulder as she smiled at him and left.

He pushed himself up close to the Tyler's bed as she slept soundly with her head turned towards him. The white bandage covering the stitches ran across her forehead. He couldn't look at it without wincing but couldn't look at her without smiling. It was a catch-22, but the smile won out.

He reached out and touched her arm, sliding his fingers down until he could hold her hand. The moment turned on him as he saw her lying face down in the surf. He bent his head and closed his eyes tightly, trying to ward off the horrible fright of seeing it. He came so close to losing her. It would have killed him if he had. The pain of it would have swallowed him up and left such a huge hole in his heart he was sure he never would have recovered from it.

But she didn't he told himself, lifting his head and seeing her drowsy eyes looking back at him. It was what he needed at that second to pull him out of his slump. She always knew what he needed and when he needed it, and as always, delivered, even while lying in a hospital bed.

She could see the fatigue on him but could also see the days events that she was sure he was agonizing over, knowing she would have been too it if it were the other way around. They came so close to tragedy but had pulled through, thanks to him. She didn't say anything, feeling drowsy and on the verge of sleep again, unable to fight it off but before she drifted off again she felt the need to calm his turmoil that she was sure he was harboring.

What a simple touch from her could do to him. He closed his eyes letting the feel of it on his face move through him, healing him everywhere. She glided the back of her hand over his cheek in the most gentle, sensuous way it almost felt as if he were going to float right out of the chair, wishing he could crawl in next to her and just hold her close. Gone in that instance was all the fear from the day and the only thing left was the genuine feelings of love that he felt for her.

"I love you, Tyler," he whispered, opening his eyes to see her reaction and smiled brightly over it. Her eyes were closed and she was already back asleep.

He chuckled softly to himself. "One day you are going to hear me say it loud and clear."

Danny peeked his head in holding the envelope and a bag containing a set of clean clothes for Steve.

"Hey," he whispered loudly, motioning with his hand for him to come out.

Steve carefully set her hand back down on the bed and pulled the blanket up over her shoulders.

Danny held the door open as he wheeled out, seeing his own chair parked by the door.

"Thanks Danny."

"No problem. Chin went and picked up your truck and left it at the house."

Steve moved up next to his chair and flipped the arm down on the one he was sitting in. Danny held the back of it as he made the quick transition, plopping down in the familiar seat.

"Ahh…home."

Danny tossed the plastic bag on his lap, "Shorts, shirt, your cell and some undies."

"So you went through my undies drawer instead of Tyler's," he joked, "that's creepy."

"You're not as funny as you think you are," Danny replied grinning at him. "Here's the stuff you wanted from the closet."

Steve took the envelope from him, "Thanks again."

"So are you going to hang out here or what?"

"Yes, you can go. I'll get home somehow or I'll just crash here tonight."

"Ok, just keep me posted."

"We'll do. You're a good man Daniel."

"Yea, yea," he mumbled as he began to walk away. "Cash is always nice too."

"Checks in the mail."

He heard an annoying grunt come from his partner before he turned the corner.

Steve went back in the room and held the door, so it would close quietly and not disturb Tyler while she slept.

He set the bag of clothes on the floor first and then opened the envelope, shuffling the items out onto his lap.

He unfolded a heavy stock piece of paper and smiled as he looked over her Birth Certificate. He was already aware of her actual age of twenty-six and her birthday was a special date etched in his brain for the rest of his life. She was born in Queen's hospital the same as he.

He put it back in the envelope for safekeeping and moved on to the next paper looking for her medical insurance card.

He shuffled through them, seeing car insurance, W-2's from the previous year and her Mother's Death certificate, which he didn't even bother removing from its own protective envelope, putting it quickly back in the larger one. He was still shaken over almost losing Tyler, not wanting to look at anything that mentioned death.

He finally found it amongst some remaining papers as it slipped off his lap and onto the floor. He leaned over to pick it up when a couple more items slid off his lap as well, falling in the same area.

"Damn," he huffed, reaching down to pick them up when one of the papers caught his attention, a letter with the heading from Stanford University.

He ignored the other discarded papers and picked up that one, opening the folded document.

The first sentence was like a punch in the chest.

 _Dear, Ms. Hyde,_

 _Congratulations! It is with great pleasure that I offer you admission to the Stanford University School of Medicine._

He stared at the words reading them over and over just to make sure he was understanding it clearly through the haze that had gathered around him, but there was no mistake about it, she had not only been accepted, but she had lied to him about it.

He looked across the room at her as she slept, feeling an array of emotions overcome him. How could she lie to him? He hated that more than anything else. He hated that she didn't trust him enough to tell him the truth, but in that same instance he realized she was only doing it to protect him, to protect what they had. He couldn't argue the point that maybe she turned it down because she simply didn't want to go, knowing that wasn't true by the disappointment he could see when she told him she hadn't been accepted, and by the newly obtained information from Dr. Kidder of how badly she wanted in, and last but not least, if she didn't care then why would she save the letter of acceptance in the envelope with all her important personal papers?

She cared he thought, feeling overwrought as if a heavy sack of weight had been laid across his shoulders, pushing down on him harder and harder with every second that ticked by until he finally reached up and began to kneed it away, trying to release the tension, but it was useless. He had another grave decision to make about his life, but already knew the answer to this one too. It wasn't so much the decision that he was wrestling with, as it was the will to force himself to follow through with what he had to do.

This acceptance to Stanford was like winning the lottery and who was he to take that away from her. No one. This was her destiny; he felt it as strongly for her as he did the day he was accepted into the BUDS program for the Navy Seals. It was her calling as much as that was his. He had to force her hand and make her see how important it was.

He loved her, and it would be torture to let her go. It would be the hardest thing he ever did, but he had to do it only because he did love her so much.

He had to let her go, he had to.


	18. Chapter 18

Tyler woke up to an empty hospital room.

She expected to see him there, perplexed that she didn't, rolling over and looking at the other side that was also empty.

She thought back over the night and swore that she had woken up with him sitting quietly next to her as if keeping a vigil, it was comforting to say the least, but perhaps she had dreamt it in her drug-induced state.

She dreamt about him a lot, almost every night so maybe she had the night before as well. She couldn't blame him for going home; it would have been difficult to sit up all night in his chair. She couldn't expect that of him.

She sat up in bed and suddenly recalled one instance when she had awoken to him kissing her hand, holding it close to his lips with his eyes closed. It made her feel sad for him she remembered, as if he were battling something painful and using her as a shield to fight it off. She also remembered trying to say something comforting but was cut off by him telling her to close her eyes and go back to sleep, everything was fine. His voice didn't include the same conviction as his eyes so she did as he asked. Maybe she had dreamt that too, but it seemed so real.

She began to worry about him, hoping he wasn't beating himself up over the kayaking accident because that was her fault for forgetting her lifejacket. If she hadn't they would have made it to the beach in time.

She pushed herself up further to a full sitting position and whimpered at the pain coming from her head, reaching up and touching the bandage. She looked toward the door hearing it open in hopes of seeing Steve, but instead a young nurse in dark blue scrubs came inside.

"Good morning," she said quietly. "How are you feeling? Any dizziness or nausea?"

Tyler shook her head, "No. I have a headache but that's about all."

She smiled as she took her pulse. "I can give you something for that."

Tyler waited until she was done taking her pulse, understanding the routine and how annoying it could be when someone would talk to you and you'd lose count and have to start over.

"Can I go home today?" she asked.

"Yes. I believe you are going to be released this morning if all your vitals come back normal," she smiled, "which they seem to be."

"Good. Did you just come on shift or have you been here all night?"

"I came on at seven last night. I'm off right after I log your vitals."

"Was there someone here with me last night? My boyfriend I mean? I swear I remember him being here."

"He was. He left at about four or five I think."

She was glad for that, knowing he must have been exhausted.

So she hadn't dreamt his presence, which delighted her, making her feel special that he had cared enough about her to stay all night. But it also concerned her over the incidence where she had woken up to him clearly pained over something. That didn't sit well with her. Again, she hoped it wasn't due to what she suspected, she'd put a stop to that immediately. He had saved her life because of her mistake not his.

She felt an urgency just then to see him, getting an odd premonition that he was stressing over something horrible, putting her hands over her heart as if she could feel it too, hoping she was wrong, but needing to hear his voice just to ease her own anxiety over it.

Danny helped push Steve over the threshold of the house and closed the door behind him.

"You couldn't wait until eight or even eight thirty to call me," he whined, "you had to come home at six in the morning. Why? I don't know."

"Sorry," Steve replied unemotionally, "and thanks for coming to get me."

"Yea, yea… I need coffee." He went straight for the kitchen, passing Steve as he sat in his chair just past the door entrance, not having the will to move another inch. He'd left Tyler's room a little after five in the morning and sat outside by himself, wanting to be gone before she woke up, unable to face her just yet. He wasn't so afraid of the confrontation that was looming nearby, but more afraid of falling prey to his own weakness over his dilemma. He needed a plan and knew once he'd made one that it would become solid and put this weakness to rest, but he also knew that was never going to happen sitting next to her all night and even more so if she woke up. It pained him now just contemplating it, wishing Danny would get the hell out so he could feel what he needed to and find a way through this stinking mess.

"You look like you could use about a whole pot of coffee," Danny said as he came back in the room.

Steve looked up at him, feeling the pressure and the length of the night catching up with him. "I'm tired. I haven't slept."

"Why not? Wasn't there an extra bed in Tyler's room?"

Steve shrugged that off, not wanting a conversation.

He saw exhaustion on him but in their line of work he'd seen that hundreds of times, this was something else. "Don't tell me your still hung up on that kayaking thing? Please tell me you're not?"

"I'm not!" Steve snapped. "I just got a lot of shit on my mind right now and need to think and I can't do that with you here yapping at me!"

Danny's eyebrows shot up in surprise over the sudden attack. "Ok then, I think I'll be taking my coffee elsewhere today." He reached in his pocket for his keys as he headed to the door. "I'm not the one that dragged you out of bed, but I'm the one being a nuisance?"

"Danny," he quickly cooled his jets, knowing that outburst sounded selfish and uncalled for. "I'm sorry. I'm just really tired."

He hesitated before leaving, knowing it wasn't because he was tired and would bet his life it had to do with Tyler. He pointed toward the kitchen; "I've got a pot of coffee on do you want to talk about it?"

Steve slowly shook his head, "No. I just need to get my head wrapped around something and…" he rubbed his hands over his face, not able or willing to tell him what it was about just yet. Danny wasn't a fan of his plan before when they had talked about if she got into Stanford and he didn't have the energy to argue with him about it now. "I need to be alone."

"All right," he caved, hoping it didn't have to do with Tyler and then at that second something else crossed his mind, Dr. Kidder. Wondering if he was agonizing over the decision to have the surgery. That scared him more than anything else. Kidder had said he wasn't in the right frame of mind to make that decision, and then the blunt statement made by the doctor that Steve was thinking with his Johnston and not his head.

"Get some sleep," Danny said to him. "I'm headed to the office, if you need anything just call me. I'll swing by and pick Tyler up from the hospital later."

Steve looked up and gave him an appreciative smile. "Thanks, Danny."

After he left, Steve pulled the envelope out from the side of his chair where he had it tucked in next to his leg, taking out the acceptance letter and looking it over again. He read through the whole thing again for about the fifth time, focusing on the date in the last paragraph. The cut off time to let them know if you accept was the next day. He found that both a blessing that he had stumbled across it in the nick of time but it was also a curse, knowing if she chose to argue the subject, then all she had to do was wait him out and the offer would be null and void.

He looked up from the paper as an idea to kill two birds with one stone struck him.

He pushed on the wheels of his chair over to the table where his laptop was, flipping it open and setting the letter down next to it.

He'd simply get the ball rolling for her he thought cleverly, as he navigated to the Stanford University acceptance website.

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Tyler sat on the edge of her bed, dressed and ready to go, surprised she hadn't heard from Steve yet that morning, but then assumed he had fallen asleep after being by her side most of the night.

"Geez," she mumbled to herself, "aren't you the selfish one. He keeps a vigil by your bed all night and you're upset you don't hear from him the next morning. Brat," she smiled.

The door to her room was open and she glanced up hearing voices in the hallway. Two doctors stopped and were discussing a patient's diagnoses and the best way to go about treating it. She listened intently understanding some of the conversation but some of the medical terms were foreign to her. They decided on something called a pneumonectomy and moved on. She wished she'd had her laptop because she would have looked up the term.

It made her feel excited over the process of learning something new in the medical field, but that same good feeling was cut short as Stanford crossed her mind. It would be another whole year and maybe even two before she could start medical school, whereas she could begin in a couple of months at one of the most prestigious medical schools in the country if she wanted to. The idea seemed so hopeful to her when she had first applied, but after the shock of being accepted had worn off she was actually kind of relieved that she had decided against it. The whole place made her nervous and she had even questioned her ability to do well there. It was filled with people who were wealthy and came from private schools and homes whose parents were doctors and lawyers. She came from one that was broken in so many ways it was like a horror story.

' _You don't belong there,_ ' she convinced herself. ' _You're a North Shore girl. North Shore girls don't go to Stanford. They marry local boys and go to U of H."_ She smiled thinking of Steve.

"Well," Danny said as he came in the door, "you look happy today. Feeling better?"

Tyler scooted off the side of the bed, "Yes I do, thank you for asking. And thank you for coming to get me."

"No problem at all," he replied, taking her by the elbow as if she needed steadying. "You feeling dizzy at all with that bump on your noggin?"

She giggled, "No, I'm alright. No concussion, just a bad headache is all." She walked with him to the door already having signed the papers for her release. "Have you talked to Steve today?"

"I picked him up from here this morning at about six and took him home. He was pretty tired." He neglected to tell her about his mood that was not all from exhaustion, figuring it was none of his business.

"I'm sorry, Danny," she said apologetically, "for making you run all over the place catering to us."

He gave her an annoyed glance, "I'm not catering to you. I'm just doing exactly what you guys would do for me in the same situation." He pulled out a deep Jersey accent, "So forget about it."

She giggled again, clasping onto his arm as they made their way to the elevator.

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Steve pushed himself up in his bed, hearing Tyler come through the front door. He'd laid down feeling exhausted after making her arrangements, but had yet to sleep a wink, too consumed with the thought of soon being alone again in his house. It wasn't so much the idea of the solitude that bothered him as much as the loneliness that would come from being without her.

She waved at Danny as he backed up, giving him the shaka to thank him one more time for the ride home.

The front room was empty and she noticed the lift was at the top of the stairs, assuming he was up there. She didn't call out for him in case he was sleeping; instead she made her way up wanting to slip into bed with him.

"Hey," he said as she came in the room. His joy over seeing her was spontaneous, but it was quickly diminished over the battle that he knew was on the horizon. ' _It's the right thing to do,'_ he told himself for the hundredth time. ' _Don't look at her, just stick with the plan.'_

"Hey there yourself," she said, crawling up on the bed to him and giving him a kiss.

He reciprocated the move but not with the same enthusiasm as normal. "How's your head?"

She touched the bandage that covered the five stitches. "It's fine." She looked down at his legs and winced over his two wounds. "How are you?"

"Fine." He looked away from her out the lanai doors that were closed.

She went to remove the taped gauze over his stitches when he grabbed her hand. "It's fine," he said again. "I just changed them not too long ago," he lied.

She sat back on her heels, picking up on something that was out of the ordinary with him. She couldn't quite put her finger on it yet, but he seemed…standoffish

"Steve?"

He swallowed knowing what was coming next. He couldn't deny the fact that he was acting odd, but he didn't know how else to be at the moment. His insides were a mess and he was fighting against everything he felt in his heart to keep his head straight. "What?"

"I'm sorry," she said mournfully.

For just a spilt second he thought maybe she was apologizing for lying to him about the letter, but quickly realized she was blaming herself for the accident. "For what? You didn't do anything wrong."

"I went back for my lifejacket," she shook her head, "I can't believe I forgot it. If I hadn't…"

"Tyler," he cut her off, "it was an accident. It's done and over with and were both safe. No one is to blame. It was just bad timing." He could see the troubled feelings in her eyes, wanting to reach out and comfort her along with the words, but resisted the strong urge.

She nodded, feeling slightly comforted by that. "I guess we were pretty lucky and should just count our blessings."

"Exactly."

She was satisfied with that, letting it go. "Are you hungry? I could make us some lunch."

He shook his head. He was about a million miles away from an appetite.

"Ok," she narrowed her eyes, confused over his one-line answers and distant attitude. Maybe he was just overly tired she thought, deciding to let him sleep it off. "I'm going to jump in the shower. You just take it easy." She leaned over and kissed his cheek, a little surprised again that he didn't turn and give her a lip kiss.

She slid off the bed, "It was really sweet of Danny to come and pick me up," she said as she turned toward the door and toward her room that still held her clothes even though they shared his bed every night.

He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply and let out it out slowly, knowing both of their secrets were going to be blown wide open in about ten seconds.

"I think I'll make him a nice dinner or something for…"

He swallowed hard knowing she saw the items left on her bed. ' _Stay strong. She has to go. You know it. She knows it. It's her fate, you can't take that away from her.'_

He opened his eyes, feeling her presence as she stood in the doorway, finally giving her the attention she had been searching for since coming home, but not in the same way she had expected.

"What the hell is this?" she asked bewildered, not understanding the one-way ticket to San Francisco and the check for twenty-five thousand dollars she held in her hand. It seemed to her that he was sending her away for no reason whatsoever.

"The tickets will get you to Stanford and the check is for tuition."

Her mouth dropped open in shock, realizing just then that he knew. She tried to piece together how and then it dawned on her that the letter was with her insurance papers that he gave the hospital. "Steve," she began, catching her breath. "I'm sorry I lied to you but…"

"Don't say anything," he jumped in. "I'm not mad that you lied to me about it. I'm not," he said sincerely, because he wasn't. "But you need to go to that school."

She felt her heart sink to her stomach over the separation. "No! I don't want to. I want to stay here with you. I've already decided."

"Tyler," he said gritting his teeth. "This isn't where you belong. I don't know what you were thinking by not accepting that offer. You don't belong here."

She came in the room and up to the edge of the bed. "Yes I do," she pleaded with him, feeling her emotions beginning to surface. "I love you. I want to stay with you. I don't need to go there." She knelt on the bed.

"You're not hearing me," he said pulling his hand out of her reach that she tried to grab on to. "This is too big to let go of. It's bigger than me, it's bigger…" he knew he had to be brutal to make her listen and to force her hand, "it's bigger than us, than what we have."

She stood back up, "No it's not. We love each other. The separation will be too hard. I'm not willing to take that chance over a school. I can go to…"

"I don't love you the same way that you love me," he blurted out, facing toward the lanai again because there was no way in hell he could face her at that second, too afraid she'd see right through that enormous lie.

"What?" she said barely above a whisper, feeling tears begin to sting her eyes. She had felt love from him. She knew she had. It wasn't her imagination. They loved each other. No, they were in love. She was sure of it. "Why are you…doing this?" her voice cracked.

"I told you," he replied dryly, "you don't belong here." He swallowed hard, "I've been trying to find a way to tell you…" he had rehearsed more to say but that was all the further he was going to get knowing he'd cave under the emotional turmoil that was stabbing at him from every direction. His body felt numb as he stared out the doors, wishing to god that she'd just storm out of the room so he could release the tension that was literally breaking his heart.

Her voice was filled with sadness as she asked him bluntly for the truth. "You don't want me here anymore?"

He struggled one last time to find a solution that would make it all better but there wasn't one. Her going was the only answer no matter how badly he wanted her to stay.

"No, I don't want you here anymore." God he hated liars. He fucking hated them!

She felt her head begin to spin; realizing everything she thought that was true and pure between them was just her imagination. That's why he hadn't told her that he loved her too, simply because he didn't. She backed out of the room, stunned over the events that were turning her life at that second completely upside down.

He didn't want her anymore. She tried to piece together an argument but his words had cut her so deeply that she didn't know how to reply to them. The cruel and unemotional way in which they were delivered had severed any form of communication between them.

She bumped up against the doorframe and stumbled catching herself as she turned and practically ran to her room.

The pictures on his dresser as well as the one on the wall shook as she slammed the door. He cringed at the angry tone of it, but he was physically hurting over the pain that he was causing her.

Tyler sat down on the bed stunned, feeling as if she'd been slapped hard across the face. He may not have physically hit her but the betrayal felt just as painful as if he had. Tears welled in her eyes over the fact that it was over with him. The perfect life she thought she had found with him was over.

No, she thought sadly, it had never really existed to begin with. She loved him that was true; there was no denying it no matter how angry she was with him. She loved him, and to her horror, she feared that she always would. She couldn't just turn it off, too much had happened between them. She'd have to somehow live with it and worse than that, live without him.

She lay out on the bed, pulling the pillow down and cried into it, not wanting him to hear her. It was already humiliating enough that she had confessed her love to him only for it to be denied.

He stared out the lanai doors at nothing, his body raked with a horrible gut wrenching pain that could not be described. His head hurt, his shoulders hurt, even his hands hurt but more than anything else his chest hurt, as if a thousand tiny knives were piercing it.

He heard a muffled sound come from the other room, turning in that direction, knowing what it was without having to even guess. It seized ahold of him and was squeezing the life out of him. He couldn't breathe as he pictured poor Tyler in the other room heart broken and in tears because of him. And the worst of it all was that everything he had said was a lie, but he couldn't tell her that. He had to stand his ground and let her go and follow her dream. He had too.

He looked away fighting off the feelings of betrayal that he was guilty of, assured that she was feeling the same over his cruel words, telling himself over and over that it was the right thing to do and someday she'd see it too, but no matter how strong he fought he couldn't control the relentless tears that began to show over the thought that she was gone. He loved her but what they had was no more, he'd made sure of it.

She laid on the bed for what seemed like hours, watching the shadows move across the walls as the day drug on slowly and painfully, but she had no will to move or to worse yet, go out the door and face him. She couldn't understand how he could turn his feelings on and off so easily. She not only felt betrayed over his quick abandonment of their relationship but she felt like a fool for allowing herself to get caught up in it. She came to the only conclusion she could to what had gone wrong. She never should have told him that she loved him. She felt that was the beginning of the end.

Steve lay in the same position with the same frame of mind in the next room, unable to move and think of nothing but what he was giving up. He'd made difficult sacrifices in his life before for good reasons but nothing like this. This sacrifice wasn't for God or Country, it was for Tyler. She had saved his life in so many ways he couldn't even count them. He was convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that he never would have made it without her coming into his life. He owed her so much that even if he spent the rest of his life sacrificing anything and everything for her happiness he still wouldn't feel the evenness of what she had given him. And to top it all off, she loved him. Even if he never saw her again, he'd always hold that moment when she first told him as one of his top days, if not the best day of his life.

Neither of them heard Danny as he knocked twice and then peeked his head inside. He held a bag of items that had been secured on the kayaks and returned to them by the Coast Guard.

"Steve?" he yelled out, and thought he'd just give one shout out and if he didn't hear a reply then he'd assume they were asleep or something else, and didn't want to interrupt either.

Steve turned toward the sound but had no will to shout back not wanting to see him yet. It would be best to wait until Tyler was gone before he told him.

Tyler rolled off the bed and used the ends of the pillowcase to wipe her eyes. She needed more of an explanation to the bomb that Steve had laid at her feet, assured that Danny held the answers.

She came out of the room and refused to glance in his direction but somehow felt his eyes on her as she took the steps down.

The door was closed and she saw the bag on the floor by it that Danny had left.

She came out and caught up with him as he walked to his car.

"Hey," he said to her, "I thought maybe you guys were sleeping." He noticed right away the blood shot eyes as if she had been crying.

She shook her head, "No, we weren't." She sighed heavily and leaned back against his car, bending over and bracing her hands on her knees, suddenly feeling light headed, but not for the reasons that Danny became concerned over.

"You ok?" he said in a bit of a panic. "I'll help you inside." He put a hand on her arm as she straightened back up, but she pulled it away from his grip, moving down the car away from him and away from the house. "No! I can't," she felt the tears resurface. "I can't go back in there again. I can't."

"What's going on, Tyler?" he demanded, glancing back toward the house, getting an eerie feeling that something was seriously wrong. "Is Steve alright? Did something happen?"

"Like you don't know," she blurted out, glaring at him as if he were just as guilty as Steve for breaking her heart. "Don't play dumb Danny. You and Steve are like conjoined twins, neither one of you makes a decision without the other knowing, so please spare me the innocent face!"

He went to say something, his mouth moving but no words came out at first. He was completely dumbfounded over what she was saying and even more so of the surprised attack on him. "Tyler," he said passively holding his hands up in front of him as a way of defense, "I swear to god I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh really?! So you are going to stand there and tell me you had no idea of his little scheme to get rid of me. Now that I'm thinking with a clear head I bet he was thrilled beyond belief when he found that acceptance letter to Stanford, what a perfect solution to his dilemma!"

"What?"

"Oh please!" she huffed, "Its was probably your idea to buy me the plane tickets and give me the fat check, as what…" she accused, "a nice parting gift? Perhaps to pay me off with a nice gesture! Thank you so much Tyler for your services but now that I'm back on my feet you can go fuck yourself! Well you can go fuck yourself," she shouted, "the both of you!"

He reached out and grabbed ahold of her arms trying to calm her down. "Hey! Settle down."

She pulled away from him, "Don't touch me!"

He quickly showed his hands, "I'm not touching, ok? Just please, calm down and let's talk about this because I have no idea about any plane tickets, a check, or you getting into Stanford. As a matter of fact he told me that you didn't get in."

She wiped away tears of frustration and sniffed, fighting off the others that were coming to the surface.

"I swear Tyler," he said sincerely, "I had no idea what he was up to."

She began to believe his innocence, glad for it too. She'd always considered him a stand up guy, just like she had Steve, until he blew it all to hell. "I told him I didn't get in because I didn't want to leave him." She leaned against the car again as Danny opened the door and reached inside the glove compartment and took out a couple of paper napkins he kept in there.

"Here," he said, handing them to her.

She sniffed again, using them to wipe her nose. "He found my acceptance letter in with my insurance papers. I was so stupid to trust him. I should have known it was too good to be true. Men suck! They're all bastards!" she looked at him remorsefully. "I mean most men, not you."

He smiled, "No, you're pretty much right about us all, except Steve." He shrugged nonchalantly, "Let me rephrase that, except Steve when it comes to you."

She shook her head, "No, no. You're wrong about that. He doesn't want me here anymore."

Danny chuckled over that knowing first hand that was not true. He'd already figured out the situation by just piecing together what she told him and from the argument between he and Steve over his plan to force her hand if she got accepted to Stanford. It also explained the odd mood he was in earlier, assured that his mind was working on just how to bring that unreasonable plan to light. But he also knew that if Steve had already set the plan in motion then his mind was made up and there wouldn't be any changing it.

"He does want you here, Tyler."

"No he doesn't! He told me…"

"I know what he told you, but it's bullshit Tyler." He wiped his hand over his mouth, knowing he should just get in his car and drive off. But something was keeping him there and some other stronger force was propelling him to go behind Steve's back and tell her the truth. He didn't think of it as a betrayal to Steve, using his partner's own method of thinking to persuade him. He felt just as strongly about what Steve was doing to Tyler was wrong, just as strongly as Steve felt what he was doing was right. Danny felt he had a firm line of defense; Steve couldn't argue this as betrayal on his part or hold it against him. It would be like calling the kettle back so to speak.

They belonged together. She loved him and he loved her. Steve was making a huge mistake and some day, probably when it was too late, he would know it too. But at the moment Danny just couldn't let Tyler go without telling her the truth. She deserved it.

"What do you mean its bullshit?" she asked him, holding the fresh napkin up to her face, wanting him to enlighten her over that statement.

"Look," Danny began letting out a frustrating sigh, "you have to understand Steve's brain. I know you two have become close but his relationship with you is different from his and mine. I see the way his mind works and…it's hard to explain, but once he gets his mind set on something, that's it," he clapped his hands together, "case closed, especially if he believes it as strongly as he does that you should be going to Stanford College. He's adamant about it, Tyler. If he thinks that's the best course of action for you, then there won't be any changing of his mind."

She looked at him horrified. "That's ridiculous! Who the hell is he to tell me how to live my life?"

"He's not forcing you in the way that you think. Tell me this Tyler…" he looked her straight on, "if there had been nothing between you two, would you have gone? Or would you have still turned it down?"

She would have gone. She knew that answer without even having to think about it. She looked away from him, not having to tell him either.

"He knows that. Don't you see, he's not forcing your hand because he wants you to go; he's forcing your hand because he feels like you need to go and he also feels like he's standing in your way of this incredible opportunity." He blew out a breath, shaking his head. "And that's where the stubborn Steve McGarrett comes into play. He won't back down. He's made up his mind and he won't change it. He feels strongly that this is what you need to do."

"That maybe right Danny, but it's not the real reason. He made that perfectly clear. I think I scared him when I told him that I…" she paused, looking down feeling that humiliation all over again.

"Told him what?" he filled in the gaps for her, knowing the story all too well, "That you loved him? You said it yesterday before you guys went kayaking. You were in the kitchen and said it to him just before I walked in." She quickly looked back up at him, "That's right. He told me. And he also told me…" he was at that point again when he wished he would have got in his car and driven away.

"Told you what?"

He stared at her for a moment knowing he was crossing that line but made the jump anyway, hoping to enlighten her on Steve's true motives and not the ones he was filling her head with. "He told me that he loves you."

"But he never said it," she argued.

"Maybe not, but he feels it. And you have to believe me when I say that. I've never heard him use those words before, about anyone, ever."

She stared at him in astonishment as a smile slowly grew on her face, "He does?"

Danny shrugged, "Yep. And that's all I'm going to say. I'm already dead meat for saying what I have, but…I just felt you had the right to know."

"I'll just tell him I'm not going and that's that."

He shook his head, "Won't work. He's already made his mind up, you might as well accept the fact that you're going."

"No I'm not," she stammered as she started to cry again.

"Don't do that," Danny winced, hating the sight of any woman crying. "C'mon now," he tried to soothe her by putting his arm around her.

"If he loves me," she sniffed, "then how can he let me go so easily."

"Easily?" he practically laughed. "This isn't easy for him. This isn't easy by a long shot. Believe me Tyler. You're going off to college and I'm staying here to clean up the mess that will be Steve."

"Then why? Why put himself through that?" she asked, clearly still confused.

"Because he loves you," he replied as if it were obvious, "and he wants nothing but the best for you and he'd walk through fire to make it happen."

She was gradually beginning to understand.

Steve sat up hearing the front door open and close and her footsteps on the hardwood floors until they stopped. He knew precisely where she was by the sound, picturing her down there, confused, angry, sad, perhaps even heart broken. He felt a new low, never before experiencing anything like it, not even when he was laid up in the hospital. This type of isolation had a different feeling all together. He had put it on himself wondering now if he should have gone about it a different way, but knew the results would have ended up the same. She would have argued until it became what it is now. It was better this way. He never deserved her to begin with.

He began to feel that ole' form of depression begin to set in that had been alluding him for months. He had nothing to offer her, still not sure where his life was going, and even more so now. She deserved so much more than that and was assured she would find it where he was sending her. The thought crept into his head that there was also a good chance she would find somebody else that could give her everything he couldn't. She deserved that as well, he thought sadly and would just have to take his chances. He'd come clean with her after she was gone and settled in her new life, but then again, maybe he wouldn't.

His father's words came to him from something he had said many times over the course of his life. He'd always thought of it as a meaningless quote, a silly cliché' in life, rolling his eyes every time he heard it, but now that he was faced with it, it was probably the most valued thing he'd ever heard from his dad.

' _If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they are yours, but if they don't, they never were.'_

It was all he had left, and while she was gone he'd have to make the strides to find out where his new destiny now lied, because if by some miracle she did come back, he was going to be ready and able to offer her the world.


	19. Chapter 19

Happy Mother's Day!

* * *

Tyler stood in the middle of the family room still reeling over her conversation with Danny. She glanced up toward Steve's room not sure how to approach him with this newfound information or even if she should, still angry with him. She knew of his stubbornness but it had never been directed at her in such a personal way.

Part of her was furious with him for being so bold as to try and force her hand, but the other half was grateful that she had someone in her life who cared about her, no she thought, who loved her enough to go the distance that he was, all for her benefit and at the expense of his own feelings.

She walked through the kitchen and out the back door and just kept on walking until she came to the edge of the grass where it met the beach, sitting down and digging her toes in the sand. She needed some time alone to recoup and think before she could face him, knowing he couldn't make it down the grassy slope without assistance and probably wouldn't try anyway.

The sun was beginning to make its daily departure and she stared off into the horizon trying to come to terms with this new life-altering event. She'd had many, but somehow this one hurt almost as much as when she lost her mother, almost.

She began to think about her mom and wondered what she would tell her to do in this situation, but even before she could finish that thought tears sprang to life in her eyes and she chuckled to herself, knowing without a doubt that she'd be kicking her butt up and down this beach for turning down such a golden opportunity.

"Shit," she groaned, realizing for the first time that Steve was right. She had to go, not just because of him, but also because she owed it to her mother for giving her the strength to make it through such a horrible childhood. She could have easily been swallowed up by that life without her guidance and protection. She had to go; otherwise it would be like a betrayal to everything her mom had taught her.

She lay back on the grass and watched as a strong breeze blew a patch of clouds by overhead. She would miss Steve more than she could even comprehend at the moment, but she would also miss this place, home. Hawaii life wasn't the same as mainland living. Even though Oahu was busier than the other islands, it also had its serenity that overshadowed the other. She'd only been to the mainland once in her life and didn't remember too much accept that it was busy.

She'd had contact with tourists on a regular basis, some good, some not so good, but she had to assume that life on the mainland was going to be extremely different than anything she had ever known.

She took in a deep breath and let it out feeling her stomach begin to tighten over the anxiety of leaving. She wouldn't know anyone there. Where would she live? How would she live? She began to make a mental calculation of all her assets.

' _Two thousand in checking, I could sell my car for probably three thousand. I have the bonus check from the Governor, three thousand. That's eight thousand and with the financial aid I applied for I could probably cover the first year, but I'd have to get a job to cover the other living expenses.'_

She sat up on her elbows remembering the check that was with the plane ticket.

"Twenty-five thousand dollars," she whispered. "That's a lot of money." She shook her head; "I can't take that from him." She lay back down again, "Just forget about that money, it doesn't exist."

She began to fantasize about walking to her first class, imagining what it would be like. The fear of the unknown vanished and was replaced with an excitement she could hardly contain.

She opened her eyes as she felt a drop of rain hit her on the cheek and then another one on her leg. She stared up at the sky as the white clouds turned dark and the drops began to become more frequent.

She got up and began to walk back toward the house as the light from the sun vanished behind the incoming storm and the evening dusk quickly began to turn to night. She felt her stomach growl realizing she hadn't eaten all day. Just as she came in the house she felt the wind at her back, looking over her shoulder at the rain that had picked up just in that short time span. She loved afternoon rainstorms, ' _as long as I'm not on the water_ ,' she thought humorously, leaving the back doors open to let in the fresh air.

She came in the kitchen and glanced toward the stairs knowing if she hadn't eaten then fore sure Steve hadn't either.

She loved cooking for him and he made it so easy, eating anything she would put in front of him and always thanking her for it. The smile she wore over that slowly faded as she thought of the separation for the millionth time. Her body suddenly felt weak as she leaned against the counter.

How was she going to survive it? Especially now, knowing his true feelings.

She couldn't think about it now she decided or she'd go mad. She went to the fridge instead, thinking what she could make the two of them for dinner.

Steve opened his eyes to the sound of rain pounding on the wood railing on the lanai. The doors were open which he didn't recall were that way when he fell asleep. Maybe a strong breeze blew them open he thought, knowing that had happened before during a storm, but just then he got the aroma of something that made his stomach rumble, glancing at the nightstand by his bed and the plate of food with a napkin over top of it.

He reached over, hesitating before sliding the napkin off, not sure if what he smelled was actually edible. He could just picture her cooking him up some worms in a nice butter sauce as revenge for her last meal preparation, slightly cringing as he slowly slid it off and then smiled.

What he saw was nothing short of one of Tyler's delicious creations of chicken and rice, one of his favorites.

He sat up and looked toward the opened bedroom door, knowing now that she had been in there and had probably opened the lanai doors as well. He was stunned to say the least, not sure how he should react. He was hesitant but called out for her anyway, despite his apprehensions on how it would be received, or if she would even answer, but the fact that she had cooked him dinner had to mean something.

"Tyler?" he said in a normal volume and waited, hearing nothing. He waited a few seconds and spoke louder. "Tyler?"

"I hear you. I'm in the next room. What do you want?" She understood his reasoning for wanting her to go to Stanford, but she was still angry at him for the way he went about it.

The tone of her voice spoke volumes to him, she was still angry. "Um, I just wanted to say thank you for the food."

"Sure," she replied back to him in the same condescending tone, "it's the least I could do since I'm still a guest in your house for another five days until my plane leaves. I felt it was my duty. Or should I leave tonight? I wasn't sure on your plan for my life."

He felt his appetite diminish, not just because of her anger toward him, which he halfheartedly expected, but also because of her announcement of leaving in five days. The plane ticket had been an open dated one, not expecting her departure so quickly, but then again he thought drearily, could he blame her?

"You can stay as long as you need to."

The sadness in his voice was unmistakable, which stung but so did her anger over his ridiculous plan that was now backfiring on him. ' _Let him stew a little bit more in the pot of shit he made for us,'_ she thought stubbornly. _'Men!_ ' she thought to herself, but let out a verbal growl.

She didn't reply but again, he didn't blame her. He stared mindlessly down at the plate of food on his lap, pushing the contents around with his fork, but had yet to take a bite. His stomach was in knots and his chest felt like a hundred pound weight was sitting on it. It took everything he had to just breathe let alone eat.

He looked out the lanai doors at something that caught his attention; seeing a flash of lighting over the water and then moment's later hearing thunder in the distance as the rain fell harder and a breeze blew in the room. The temperature had dropped in the past ten minutes but he hardly noticed the chill, his mind too pre-occupied on the thought of her in the next room, and what he had done to her. He'd been a coward at the way he had gone about it. He knew that now. He should have been straight up with her. The battle might have ended the same but at least she would leave knowing that he did love her, saying it now was completely out of the question. It would hold no meaning to her and could very likely start a new war because he was sure she would consider it a lie.

He took the uneaten plate and set it back on the nightstand. She deserved something but he couldn't think of anything to rectify what he had done, so he just stuck with the classic simple words.

"I'm sorry, Tyler," he said, hoping to bring some peace to her over his foolish mistake.

And it did, hearing so much remorse in his voice. It was so sincere it actually brought tears to her eyes. She sat on her bed and looked out the door toward his room. She couldn't see him but she could easily picture the man she had got to know so well sitting there and punishing himself for their earlier fight. He was mostly to blame, but she had also lied to him. She should have told him in the beginning about the letter and maybe they wouldn't be where they are now, in separate rooms.

She thought of her conversation with Danny and her epiphany that had struck her while down on the beach, that Steve had been right all along. She had played the victim in her own story instead of facing her fears of going and leaning on him for support. In the end, instead of being angry with him, she'd be thanking him.

They were only a few feet away from each other but it felt like miles already, her heart aching for him now. They didn't have much time left and she didn't want to waste any of it on anger.

She slid off her bed and walked toward his room that was dark now from the storm that had concealed the sunset.

He looked over hearing her footsteps as his heart began to beat like a drum over the anticipation of whether or not she would come to him or go down the stairs and continue to avoid him.

When she showed herself at his door it actually beat harder, ringing in his ears, but when she crawled on the bed with him, putting her arms around his body and rested her head on his shoulder, he felt assured that his heart was going to jump out of his chest and land right in her lap.

The relief he felt was astounding as a euphoric rush swept over him, filling him with the most delightful sensation that he hoped would never go away.

She closed her eyes as his arms went around her and they held each other close. Gone was any anger that had been built up between them, torn down by the one thing they mostly shared in common, love.

He ran his hand down her long blond hair finally having her full attention to say what he wanted to all along.

"I love you, Tyler."

She smiled, squeezing him tighter. "I know you do."

He loved that reply, kissing the top of her head as they sat quietly watching the storm outside, together.


	20. Chapter 20

**_Sorry for the long delay in posting...life, work and sunshine are a horrible combination for distractions._**

* * *

Tyler handed the keys to her car over to the man and woman and shook their hands.

"Thank you so much," the young woman said as she got in it and the man went to his car thanking her as well.

She came in the house and waved the wad of cash at Steve, "Forty-one hundred bucks! That's over a thousand more than I thought I could get for it. Thanks to you."

He smiled but it was bittersweet. He was glad to help but it was just another reminder that she was leaving. "You didn't have to sell it. You could have kept it here for when you come back."

"I need the money."

He gave her a knowing look over that. "I gave you money."

She rolled her eyes as she walked past him, "I'm not taking that money."

He spun around in his chair, following her to the base of the stairs. "Then take half, a third, a quarter!" he yelled as she went up.

"No!" she yelled over her shoulder.

"You are so stubborn!"

She turned around at the top and glared down at him, "You are calling me stubborn? Please, you wrote the book."

"You need that money, Tyler. If you feel funny about it then consider it a loan, interest free. You can pay me back when you become a filthy rich doctor."

That got a smile out of her. "Ha, ha. And the answer is still no."

He growled at her as she disappeared into her room. "Stubborn!" he yelled.

"Learned from the best," she called out from her room.

He gave up for now going in the kitchen for a drink, mumbling under his breath at her.

Tyler heard a crash and then a few choice cuss words coming from Steve as she came out of her room.

"What happened?!" she yelled, running down the stairs as she came in the kitchen and saw the broken glass on the floor.

"Shit!" he groaned, reaching over the side of the chair and picking up the broken pieces.

"Stop!" she scolded him. "You'll cut yourself."

"I can clean it up," he demanded as she reached in the nearby closet and took out the broom.

"I got it," she argued, ignoring his request. "I'll move the glasses down to the bottom shelf too, and if there's anything else you can think of let me know. Those glass bowls up top worry me too."

He grabbed ahold of the broom handle, "I said, I can do it myself."

She held firm, as did he. "Let go, Steve. I got it."

"No."

"No?"

"No! I can clean up after myself."

"Steve," she chuckled over his stubbornness, assuming he was playing with her because of their earlier debate.

"Tyler."

"I can do it a lot faster."

"Are you going to fly home every time I break something and clean it up for me? And I don't want you rearranging anything. And I especially don't want you worrying about me when you should have much more important stuff on your mind."

She let go, staring at him, knowing he was doing it to prove a point to her. "Ok."

"I know you like to think of me as helpless and all, but I was a Navy Seal. I think I can clean up some broken glass."

She smiled, slightly embarrassed over her mothering of him. She'd just been doing it for so long that it felt natural to her. "I don't do it you know because I think you're helpless." She shrugged, "I just like taking care of you, the same way that you like taking care of me."

He looked up at her from sweeping, not ever thinking of it in that way before. He just always assumed it was because she felt she had to. This new revelation just made him love her all the more.

"I'm going to miss you," he said genuinely, showing it in his expression but even more so in his eyes.

She took the broom from him and set aside, squatting down next to his chair, "I won't be that far away. Not really. We can talk and even Skype with each other." But she knew it wouldn't be the same as being next to each other like now.

He smiled for her benefit, trying to make the best of a horrible situation. "I know. We'll work it out." But it scared him to death that in reality the distance would eventually do them in.

Unbeknownst to him, she held the same fear as she returned the fictitious smile.

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The night before her departure was bittersweet. He offered to take her anywhere on the island for dinner but she declined, instead wanting to stay home and be alone with him rather than in some noisy restaurant.

He was happy with that as well. They were having a good time, despite both trying to avoid thinking about the next day.

"I want to do something," Steve said as he watched her prepare two of his favorite dishes, "let me help."

"Nope," she replied placing the dish of lasagna in the oven on broil to get the cheese on top crispy the way he liked it, and then checking the pan on the stove with the sautéed zucchini noodles and lemon chicken. "Actually," she recanted, holding up her empty wine glass, "I could use a refill."

"Yes Ma'am," Steve smiled, wheeling backwards to the table and reaching out for the bottle. He tucked it securely between his thighs and then pushed once on both wheels, gliding across the floor, stopping perfectly right before her.

"You're quite the efficient bartender," she grinned, holding out her glass as he filled it. "Cute too." She bent over giving him a kiss.

"I'm off at eight if you want to hang around and sleep with me," he joked.

Tyler laughed, "That's the best offer I've had in years," she bent over again face to face, "maybe ever." She kissed him again and then quickly jumped backed, remembering the lasagna on broil. "Oh crap!"

He backed up out of her way watching her pull it out just in time. It was cooked exactly the way he liked it. He looked up at her as she grinned triumphantly at him.

"Saved in the nick of time."

God he was going to miss her. He felt a sudden wave of regret wash over him; selfishly wishing he'd never said anything to her about Stanford. He couldn't believe he'd been so stupid to let the love of his life potentially slip away like this, what was he thinking? His head was silenced as his heart spoke up. You love her, that's why you did it. Case closed.

She looked over her shoulder at him, "It's ready." She caught the sullen expression on his face as he turned his chair, trying to hide it.

"Good, I'm starving." He pushed just slightly on the wheels, scolding himself for letting that depressing thought try to ruin his night.

Her smile faded as if the same depressing feelings jumped across the room and attached themselves to her as well. She forwent the food and walked over to him, bending over and wrapping her arms around his shoulders from behind.

"What am I going to do without you?"

The sincerity in her voice was so pure it tore at his emotions, wondering the same thing himself. He caressed her arms, "You'll be too busy to think about it. It's going to be an amazing experience for you, Tyler. Don't waste it missing me because I'll still be here when you get back, I promise." He swallowed and for the first time asked something of her. "With all the excitement and new people that you meet…just try not to forget about me too much, ok?"

The risk of losing her from an ocean between them was hard enough, but what began to scare him the most was the risk of losing her to someone else. She'd be surrounded by people, men in particular that she shared common interests with. She was smart, beautiful and had an amazing personality. She'd be like a magnet for any man on that campus, he knew it beyond the shadow of a doubt. Distance could make the heart grow fonder, but it could also become vulnerable amongst the lack of stimulation from moments like this and the thousand others they shared by being together everyday. His fear of losing her to another man was quickly gaining momentum as the hours ticked down to her departure.

She squeezed him tighter, "You'll always be with me, every second of the day. My goal is to work hard and excel as quickly as possible so I can come back home to you. I promise that to you too."

He knew she was being completely sincere with him and hoped over time that she could hold true to that promise, but if she couldn't, then he had only himself to blame for sending her away in the first place. All he could do was hope and pray that her heart would stay true as well.

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Tyler came in his room seeing him out on the lanai.

"I think I'm all packed."

He looked up over his shoulder at her, "Good. Sit down and relax." He reached over pulling one of the two chairs over closer to his wheelchair.

She took the seat and admired the same view he was as the sun made its final appearance for the day.

"I'm going to miss this," she replied.

"California has some pretty views. You'll find one."

"No," she replied quietly, looking over at him, "I mean I'll miss this, enjoying the sunset with you."

He didn't return the glance but instead reached over, taking her hand and setting it in his lap as he stroked it. There was nothing left to say. It had all been said. The plans were set and there was no use dragging it out anymore. He just wanted to enjoy this time with her, fearing if he let the conversation roll in that direction then he might possibly recant everything he had said in the beginning and beg her to stay.

She didn't try and fight the tears, knowing they were imminent. She'd kept herself busy most of the day to avoid them, but now that it was quiet and it was just the two of them with nothing standing in their way, she let herself feel the sadness over leaving him.

He didn't look over to know she was crying, sensing it only because he loved her, his heart able to detect such things since it had given itself over to her. And he didn't have to see it in order for it to shred him like someone reaching inside his chest and squeezing until it hurt beyond words. A small whimper escaped from his throat because of it.

She felt his hand tremble slightly as he held hers tighter. She looked up as he turned his face away from her but through her tears she could see that he fighting off the same powerful emotions as well. She wanted to tell him that it was ok, but her voice had vanished. There was nothing she could say, the same as he to take away what they were feeling at the moment.

He heard her chair creek and for just a split second felt a stab of pain as her hand left his but then felt her arm go around his shoulder as she sat down on his lap, careful of his nearly healed stitches.

He looked up at her tear stained face, forgoing the urge to wipe them away. Somehow they made him feel confident; assured that she did love him and would miss him enough to shed tears for him. But he still harbored that fear that it would be the last time, unable to fight it off any longer, needing her verbal assurance as well just for now, hoping it would ease him down from the frenzy that was engulfing him.

"Tell me that I'll see you again, Tyler. I need to hear it," his voice wavering under the pressure of fighting to keep his emotions in place as he laid his forehead against her shoulder not wanting to or able to face her.

She stroked her hand over his hair, bending her head to speak to him not sure she could get any words out that would be louder than a whisper, and they weren't.

"I love you. You don't need to hear anymore than that because that is your assurance. I love you."

He raised his head searching out her lips, tasting the salt from her tears on them that only made him more eager for her. God he wanted her, more than he ever had before. He swore he could feel his need even in places that had been dormant for months, but it was her that could wake him up to feelings of passion that he feared no one else on this earth could or ever would again.

He broke from the kiss but their lips remained close. "I love you too. I've waited thirty four years for you, I'll wait another thirty four if I have too."

She smiled over that, assuring him again of their bond that couldn't be broken. "I'll be back. I promise."

He finally had his verbal promise, nodding his head that he believed her. "I'm sorry Tyler, for the things I said to you. You have to know that I didn't mean them. I would never do anything to hurt you."

"Of course I know. You only said those things because you felt I needed to go. And you were right. I do. I owe it to my mother. Why are you apologizing again for that?"

He looked up at her; "I don't want anything bad between us before you go. When you think about me, I don't want there to be one negative thought to get in the way."

Her expression became perplexed. "What are you so afraid of? That I won't come back? That I will forget what this feels like? I'm scared too Steve but I'm trusting in this, what we have right now, because believe me, I'll never forget what this feels like, ever."

He wanted to add other men to her scenario but let it go. He'd never been a jealous person before, but then again he'd never sent the one woman he'd ever loved to a place that could potentially take his place.

He replaced the sullenness with a smile, not wanting her last night with him to be a somber one. "You're going to have a great time, Tyler. I want you to enjoy it and get as much out of this incredible opportunity that you can." His smile became cunning, "Besides, I love the fact that I'm dating a college girl. Does that sound creepy for my age?" he asked jokingly.

Tyler laughed, wiping the old tears from her eyes, "No, just don't say it to anyone else, or then yes it does."

They both laughed then.

Her somber mood vanished in the blink of an eye, loving that he could make that happen with just a few choice words. "And just because I'm away don't think that I'm not going to keep tabs on you, Mr. McGarrett," she teased with a playful stink eye, "no slacking off in your workouts. I'll be watching you."

He raised an eyebrow, "Now that sounds creepy, and a little scary. You blew my plans of sitting on the couch and eating cheese popcorn while watching war movies."

Tyler kissed the top of his forehead. "While the cats away…" she teased. "Ok, I give you one day of rest to eat cheese popcorn and watch war movies, but other than that..."

"Yes, ma'am," he agreed.

She put a hand on his face, moving it up and down over his five o'clock shadow, "You know what I want to do right now?" she asked him.

"Shave me?" he grinned.

Tyler chuckled, " No, I love this look. But I'd like to go downstairs, snuggle up on the couch and eat a big bowl of cheese popcorn and watch a movie."

Steve smiled widely over that suggestion, "Can it be a war movie?"

"Hmm," she contemplated, "How about Iron Man?"

"Deal!" he agreed, moving his chair back with her still sitting on his lap.

She shrieked and held on around his neck. "Do I get a ride down in your fancy elevator?"

"Hold on tight baby." He laughed with her as he zoomed across the wood floor of his bedroom and out to the hallway, stopping just before the gate to the entrance of the lift. He carefully wheeled the two of them in as she closed the gate and pushed the button for down.

"You should make sure you carry your phone when you go up and down in this while I'm gone, just in case it breaks down."

"Stop worrying about me."

"Impossible," she declared with a shrug. "I can't just shut it off." She leaned back and looked at him, "And look who's talking," she mimicked his voice, "Don't go out alone at night. Always be aware of your surroundings," she repeated his earlier counsels, "use a simple key as a weapon."

"Ok, ok," he rolled his eyes, "I get it." He sighed heavily as he stroked her back, "Perils of being in love I guess. You never stop worrying about that other person."

She nodded in agreement as the lift stopped. "So true. So true."

He kissed her before wheeling them out.

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Tyler stared at the TV screen but her mind wasn't on the movie that played, it was focused on the gentle hand that slowly glided up and down her body. She lay snuggled up close with her back to him, feeling the warmth of his touch. He would begin at the nap of her neck after having moved her hair and then using just his finger tips, methodically moved down her body as far as he could reach and then repeated the same wonderful sensation as he followed the path back up again.

It was the most seductive move ever played on her and she loved even more than he knew exactly what he was doing to her.

She reached her hand back and cupped his neck just as she felt his lips on that soft spot behind her ear and then his equally seductive voice whisper to her.

"I love you, Tyler."

She didn't respond with words, but shifted her body so she was facing him, and without any hesitation kissed him long and hard, moving her body over top of his while it lasted.

She raised her body just slightly and broke from the kiss just long enough for him to pull up on the bottom of her shirt, lifting it over her head.

The room went dark as he used the remote to turn the TV off and then tossed it aside. It landed on the coffee table and then slid off.

Tyler sat up, straddling him as she slid her hands under his tank top, feeling his body as he let out a soft moan from the feel of it. He repeated her move as he lifted up with his elbows and allowed her to remove his shirt altogether.

They made eye contact as she lay back down on him, her face intimately close to his.

"You're hands feel so good on me," she said to him.

He moved them up into her hair holding her head in place as he spoke to her. "Is it enough for you, Tyler? What if I can never pleasure you more than that? Will that always be enough for you?" He felt that wave of fear over the men that would be surrounding her, able to offer her all the things he couldn't and more.  
"Yes, you're hands feel good on me, but it's not just your hands that make the difference, it's the man they are attached to. You are more of a man to me than anyone I have ever met. I need you. I need YOU," she emphasized the last word. "So to answer your question, yes, it is enough. It's more than enough for me."

He did love her, not just for being who she was and for making him whole again, but for making him feel like a man again.

His hands slid down her back and inside her athletic shorts.

"What about you?" she asked, "Am I enough for you? Do you need more from me?"

"All I need from you is to be honest with me, Tyler. Everything else is like a gift and I'll never forget how fortunate I am to have you in my life. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you dancing in my kitchen. I couldn't take my eyes off of you. And that night after Katie was here…" he smiled, recalling the powerful feel of her hand in his as she just sat and held it, "there's been so many times that you've stopped me from shaken when I felt the fear would overtake me. I'm not afraid anymore. No matter what happens from here on out, you need to know that I love you and I will always be there for you no matter where you go or how we end up. I will always come if you call. I promise you that."

It was a promise that held merit, she would bet her life on it. She hadn't felt that type of unconditional love and security since her mother and was quite certain she would never find it with anyone else no matter where she went or how long she lived.

He used his thumb to wipe away the first tear that slipped out of her eye. It was impossible not to feel that same emotional impact that she was. He pulled her head down on his shoulder and looked up, trying to control the moisture that teetered on the edge in his own eyes over his words that he hoped would never be tested, but if they were, he knew without a shred of doubt that he would go to the ends of the earth crawling, fighting and begging just for her.

They didn't make love, but instead found an even better form of stimulation in the warm embrace of each other's arms where they remained for the entire night, not knowing when time would allow them to be together again.

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The airport was crowded but neither one of them noticed another single person, not even Danny who vacated their space and took a seat in another area to give them some privacy before Tyler's plane boarded. They used their badges to get through security without a boarding pass so Tyler and Steve could spend every last possible second together.

She knelt down next to his wheelchair as he glided his hand down her hair. The look of panic in her eyes was beginning to make him feel the same anxiety.

"I don't want to go," she blurted out.

"I don't want you to go," he replied, but they both knew they were useless pleas but felt the need to express them anyway because they were justifiable feelings, neither taking the others appeal too much to heart though, it was a done deal.

She smiled through her sadness, "So much for small talk."

He chuckled, but then his smile slowly faded as the reality of where they were and why began to sink in again.

"I'm going to miss you," he said, considering those words an understatement for how much he was actually going to miss her.

She nodded, wanting to say the same thing to him as she bit her bottom lip to prevent it from quivering. She put her head down and leaned into him as he pulled her close.

He wanted to hear one more time the assurance for her return, but kept it to himself; not wanting their last few minutes together to focus around his own insecurities, so he assured her instead with the three words that he hoped she would remember fondly while she was away.

"I love you."

She nodded and sniffed before looking up at him, "I love you too." She wiped away fresh tears still holding his hand not wanting to let go. It wasn't from the fear of leaving her home and going to a place that was foreign to her, it was simply the worry of leaving him and the fear that went along with it of whether or not she was doing the right thing. Getting accepted to Stanford was a rare gift, she agreed with that, but so was meeting and falling in love with him. Was she giving up one dream to try and accomplish another? That was the question that haunted her now and the one no one seemed to understand, especially Steve.

"It'll be hard at first," he said, "but we'll adjust and time will go by fast."

"You'll come and see me right?" she asked, the panic in her eyes returning as she searched his out for the answer she needed to hear.

"Yes. And I'll fly you home as often as possible."

She smiled over that, which pleased him.

"I'll call you every night," she promised.

"I'll wait by the phone all day," he grinned.

Tyler chuckled, "Who's going to make me laugh everyday?"

They both looked up, hearing the announcement for the boarding of her plane over the loud speaker and then focused back on each other.

"Time to go," he said quietly.

"Time to go," she repeated, hoping his next words would be ' _please don't go. I love you and I don't want to risk losing you'_ , but the words never came. She wondered that if he did beg her to stay, would she have…' _yes_ ,' she thought without even having to debate why she was leaving in the first place, she would.

"Tyler," his voice stressing the seriousness of what he was about to say, squeezing her hand. "I'm sorry again for the way I went about this. I want you to be happy. Our time will come but there's other things that need to come first." He reached up and touched her face, "You have an amazing gift that needs to be nurtured to its full capacity, that's why I fought so hard for you to go. Not because I don't want you, but when you do come back I'll know there won't be anything standing in our way. Do you understand that?"

"I do," she swallowed hard, "and I know that I should be going for so many reasons but the one thing that's tearing at me, I'm struggling with the fear that…you won't need me anymore?" she pleaded, gripping his hand, stressing her own fear over their separation for the last time.

He almost laughed over that, "Tyler," he grinned, putting the hand he was holding up against his heart, "I don't need you anymore, not in that way, but I do want you more than you'll ever know. I've never been in love before and what I feel when I'm with you, there isn't anything or anyone that could ever take your place or come between us, not even time."

"I know I had plans before you and you feel it's somehow my duty to fulfill this destiny of going to Stanford, but what if my destiny is with you. Everything happens for a reason Steve. You're the most important person in my life and I'm afraid to leave you." She gulped for air as the tears reappeared.

"Tyler," he said calmly, "you seem to be under the impression that if you go then I'll somehow forget about you, forget about us. That's not going to happen. All my future plans include you. You need to leave today knowing that this separation isn't going to change anything for me. If anything, it'll prove that this bond we've created between us is stronger than ever."

She smiled seeing the truth in his eyes as he looked at her. No one had ever looked at her like that before, showing so much love and conviction of wanting to be heard; she felt the fear and anxiety of what she was doing slowly fade away. "I'll be back for you, so just sit tight," she grinned, leaning in and kissing him.

He cupped the back of her neck and held her there just a few seconds longer before finally releasing her.

"Go," he said, "fill that beautiful head with doctor stuff, and I'll be here when you get back."

She stood up still holding his hand as they took one long last look at each other.

He let go first as she backed up, winking at him, "Next time you see me I'll be able to professionally give you a full body exam Mr. McGarrett," she teased.

He raised an eyebrow, "Dr. Hyde, you're making me blush with that kind of talk. I can't wait."

She laughed and held her hand up as she gave the attendant at the door her boarding pass.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Tyler, be safe," he said for good measure.

With that she blew him a kiss and turned, disappearing down the walkway to the plane.

He stared at the empty spot where she had been standing, feeling the first wave of separation wash over him, it was painful to say the least.

"Thank you, Tyler," he whispered, "for all that you did for me. If you don't find your way back, then it was never meant to be, but I'll always love you."

He looked over seeing Danny approaching him with a woeful expression.

"Hey," he said with a sheepish grin, "You ok?"

"Yea," Steve lied, trying to hide the anguish as he pushed on the wheels of his chair wanting to get out of there before he tore past security and down the walkway demanding her return.

He backed up into a row of seats feeling the thud, "Shit," he growled and then tried to go forward but was caught on something. "Goddamnit!" he grumbled, trying to shake the chair loose.

"I got it," Danny said, lifting up on the handles of the chair. He held on even as Steve tried to get away. "Hey! Just relax, I got it," he said, pushing him instead.

Steve looked to his side, but not up at him, not wanting to make eye contact with him. The weight of the situation began to come down hard on him and he was glad Danny was there to take over because all of a sudden he hadn't the strength to move let alone push himself through a crowded airport.

Tyler found her seat and smiled at the older woman as she stood up and allowed her to take her seat by the window.

She sat down and held her backpack staring out the window at the familiar green mountain peaks that barely showed over top of the airport terminal. She'd climbed them several times over the course of her life, missing home already. Tears blurred the image but it wasn't from the potential homesickness, but from missing Steve. It had barely been five minutes and time was already taunting her, not sure how she would survive the next hour, the next day, the next week.

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They pulled up Steve's driveway after dropping Tyler off at the airport.

Danny parked next to his truck and turned the engine off, both men staring at the house. He felt a familiar hesitation before going in. It was similar to the one he'd had several months before on his first visit after bringing Steve home from the rehab center, knowing the inside of that home where they'd shared so many good times and laughs was not going to be the same, not by a long shot.

But then Tyler came along and had blessed the house with love and laughter again. Her departure he thought sadly was going to be hard to overcome. He was already feeling the loss after only an hour, so he could only imagine what Steve was feeling, glancing over at his friend who had been silent most of the way home.

He'd been doing so well, Danny thought, and only hoped this wouldn't set him back on the course he had almost taken before her arrival.

"I was thinking," Steve blurted out in the silence of the car, looking over at his partner, "maybe it's time I came back to work."

Danny's eyebrows shot up in surprise over that unexpected suggestion.

"I mean, "Steve shrugged, "I know I won't be able to go out in the field, but it would be convenient to have someone at the station that could work the details and relay them back to you rather than you having to come back, you know?"

"Yea," Danny agreed wholeheartedly, "I think that's a great idea. It would be helpful."

Steve nodded, looking back toward the house feeling the same anxiety as Danny about going inside. He didn't want to, knowing the absence of Tyler's infectious laughter was going to be the thing he missed the most, and the quiet solitude was going to be the thing he was going to hate the most.

Danny got out and came around the back of the car getting out the wheelchair. He felt a weight lifted off of his shoulders over Steve's stunning announcement to return to work. It was a step forward toward regaining his life as they had all once known it; relieved it wasn't going in the direction that he had feared only moments before.

"Here we go," he said with a broad smile, setting the chair next to the open passenger door.

Steve grabbed the side of the chair and lifted himself out and on to the seat, adjusting his legs on the footrests. "Thanks Danny, but I got it from here. You can take off, you don't need to hang around here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea, I'm good," he replied looking up at him with a forced grin, trying to keep up the charades that he was doing just fine, but deep down inside he felt like his life was in shambles without Tyler, never realizing the magnitude of her absence until he was faced with going inside that house for the first time, knowing she wouldn't be there.

Danny put a hand on his shoulder, "How about Monday morning?"

"What?" Steve asked bewildered, tearing his eyes away from the front door as he looked over at him with the same perplexed expression.

"Work? I can swing by and pick you up at about eight?" he asked him as he closed the passenger door.

"Oh right" he sighed, "yea, eights fine. I'll see ya then."

Danny stared at his back as he pushed his way up the smooth path to the house. "I could come by tomorrow and we could do some fishing from the beach."

Steve stopped and turned the chair to the side so he could see him, "No. I think I need this time to figure things out around here by myself. I need get a routine going."

Danny understood that only because he understood Steve. That was going to be his salvation, getting into a day-to-day routine. It's what his life had been based on; chaos was not something he dealt very well with. "Ok, if you need anything give me a call."

Steve lifted his right hand and waved before he resumed his effort of getting up the path to the house.

He heard the Camaro back up and drive off as he stopped on the front porch before the door.

"You had to fall in love didn't you?" he scolded himself. "And there's no getting around it, it's there, and it's not going anywhere soon so you better just get on with it and learn to deal with it and her being gone." He remembered his dad saying once that love came in waves; the first wave was the best of times, and every one after that was a struggle to maintain but if your partner was working just as hard, then when that new wave came it was the best of times again. He felt at this moment the wave had crashed over him and he was at that stage of having to get to the top again to enjoy the best of times. He just hoped that Tyler would be able to maintain that same effort; otherwise he felt strongly that he'd drown over the remorse of talking her into leaving him in the first place.

He'd very seldom ever second-guessed his final decisions, but this one was taunting him mercilessly.


	21. Chapter 21

Steve spent the remainder of the first day since Tyler's departure, trying to keep himself occupied.

He picked up a book that he had begun to read months before but had never finished due to lack of time since most of it had been occupied by either Tyler's workouts, scheduled activities or just the fact that she was so much more interesting to both look at and hold his attention than a book.

He heard his phone ringing and set the novel down, wheeling over to the kitchen table with a wide grin, assuming it was her; and it was.

"Hey!" he answered happily, anticipating hearing her voice.

"Hi!" she replied with the same enthusiasm. "I made it!"

"How is it? How's your room?"

She was set up in a dorm like area with other medical students, some her age, some older but the majority were a couple years younger, having begun college fresh out of high school, whereas she had to take a couple of years to support herself and save money before starting.

"The rooms good," she replied. "It's small as expected but it's all mine thank god. I'm glad I don't have to share like the freshman dorms. That would stink."

"Good," he sighed, relieved that she was at least partially settled. "How was the flight and getting to the school?"

"Easy really. And all my boxes were here in the holding area so I'm able to unpack tonight. I just wanted to call you first before anything else."

He smiled over that. "I'm glad you did. I've been staring at my phone all day waiting for it to ring," he joked.

Tyler laughed, "You have not. What did you do today?"

Steve huffed, "Read. And then I read some more and then after dinner I read even more. By the way…" his tone thankful, "thank you for all the meals in the freezer. Geez, I think I'm taken care of for the next year."

"I don't think they'll last that long, but at least a week, and you're welcome."

There was a pause before he spoke up first, saying what they both were thinking. "I miss you."

Tyler took in a deep breath and let it out slow, "I miss you too. It's only been one day."

"I'm going back to work on Monday," he announced.

"You are?!" she asked surprised. "When did you decide this?" She thought it odd that he hadn't mentioned it to her until she heard his reasoning behind the decision.

"It came to me the second I pulled up to the house after dropping you off. I need to get a routine going and sitting around here reading all day is not healthy, plus you're everywhere here and it'll drive me mad."

She smiled slightly over what should have been a compliment but she could feel his pain. "I understand, I'm planning on burying myself in my studies."

"We're pathetic, you know that? We're useless without each other. No life."

Tyler did laugh over that. "But when this is all over, we'll have a great one, together. And I swear I'll never leave you again."

He smiled now, "I want that in writing."

"I'll send an email ASAP, but for now I have to go. There was a note on my door that orientation is tonight at eight, then next one is at seven am, so I'm catching the late shift."

"Eight o'clock?" he mumbled, looking at his watch and then to the sunshine in his backyard, "What time does it get dark there?"

Tyler quietly grinned, putting her hand over the phone incase she broke out in laughter.

"I packed a thing of mace in your suitcase, find it and take it with you."

"Steve…" she chuckled.

"Hey, I'm two thousand miles away, just humor me and say you'll take it, ok?"

"Once a cop always a cop."

"I've seen too much. It's something about me you're just going to have to deal with. I love you, so…" he sighed heavily, "just take it alright?"

She couldn't argue the point he made, and didn't want to now that she understood it, "Alright, I'll take it. I promise I will."

"Thank you."

"I'll call you when I get back to say goodnight."

"Ok, I'm going to go make a bowl of cheese popcorn and watch Platoon."

"Have you worked out yet today?" she scolded him. "You better be breathing hard when I call."

"Damn," he laughed, "is that your idea of phone sex? I like it."

Tyler rolled her eyes, "I'll call you later pervert."

She made a kissing sound in the phone before hanging up, leaving him with a smile.

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Steve grabbed the bar over his head and lifted himself up to a sitting position on the workout bench.

He reached over for the towel on the back of his wheelchair and wiped off his sweaty face, running it over his equally damp hair.

"Happy now!" he yelled out as if Tyler were in the room. "Two thousand miles away and she still has me wrapped around her beautiful little finger." He shook his head in disgust, "You are so whipped."

He heard his phone ringing that was sitting on the floor next to the weight set.

"Speak of the devil," he grinned, leaning over and picking it up.

He began to breath hard as he answered it… "Heel…looo, baa…bby. What are you wearing? If you say nothing then I'm FaceTiming this call."

There was silence and then he heard a small whimper as the smile disappeared from his face.

"Tyler? Are you there? What's wrong?"

She sat down on her bed and grabbed a pair of shorts from her suitcase and wiped her eyes. "I don't belong here. I don't know why I came. It's ridiculous! I'm ridiculous for thinking that I'm smart enough to compete with the other people here!" She threw the shorts across the room and grabbed a shirt as fresh tears welled in her eyes.

"Whoa, whoa," Steve said, "back it up. First off, you do belong there and second, the only thing that is ridiculous is you thinking that you're not smart enough to be there."

"I have no idea what anyone was even talking about at orientation tonight. It was like gibberish. Some of the medical terms they were using and, and," she shuttered, "they expect perfection out of everyone. I just don't…"

"Tyler," he said calmly, "do you honestly think you are the only one in your group that is back at their room scared out of their wits right now? I remember my first day of BUD/S class, I got the shit kicked out of me simply because I thought I knew too much. I didn't know squat. If everyone knew everything they were talking about tonight, then why would they even have classes? You'd just show up for your first day and get a diploma."

She chuckled over that and sniffed, "I'm so nervous for class on Monday."

"Preparation," he said to her. "You are the most organized person I know. Spend the weekend preparing. Go get your books tomorrow morning and spend the rest of the weekend studying the first couple of chapters. You'll feel better about your first day, I know it."

She sniffed again, contemplating his advice and finding it helpful. "I think you're right." A smile slowly grew on her face, "You're right. I need to get ahead of the game." She let out a long deep breath. "I'm actually feeling better now. Thank you. What would I do without you?"

He liked the sound of that, "I don't know, spend your life avoiding medical school maybe, you big chicken."

She laughed, "I am not. Did you workout today? And don't lie to me?"

He laughed now, "Yes I did. As a matter of fact I'm still sweating from it." He used the towel to wipe his face off again.

"I miss that smell. I liked it."

Steve's face changed to disgust, "What? Seriously? I think maybe you are being a little ridiculous now."

"No way," she replied in a soft tone, picturing him all sweaty and pumped up after a workout. "You have this incredibly masculine scent about you. Sometimes I get a whiff while we're fooling around too. I love it."

He shook his head in disbelief, "I don't think I'll ever be able to figure you out Tyler."

"Good," she grinned, "it'll keep you on your toes."

He didn't mind that at all, it was like an adventure knowing her. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'm going to bed now. I have a lot of work to do tomorrow. Nighty, night detective."

"Sleep well, Doc."

He heard her sweet laugh before she hung up.

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Tyler leaned against the wall in the hallway of her first class; her backpack slung over one shoulder as she looked down at her phone, texting Steve one last time before the doors opened to allow them in. It was early were she was knowing he'd still be in bed or maybe just getting up to hopefully workout.

 _Here I go. Wish me luck! And good luck to you on your first day back to work. I'm excited for you! Enjoy your day._

"Hi."

Tyler looked up, seeing the person the voice was attached too. His dark hair and blue eyes instantly reminded her of Steve, but the facial features although attractive didn't equal to the man that she compared all others to.

"Hi," she replied wondering why he was talking to her.

"I saw you the other night at orientation," he began, his expression turning somewhat uneasy, "what did you think of all that?"

Tyler looked back down at her phone, checking to see if Steve had replied before she put it away in the handy slot on her backpack. She looked back up at him. "It was kind of intimidating, I guess. What did you think?"

He leaned against the wall next to her and kept his voice down, "I didn't get anything they were saying. For a second I thought I was in the wrong place, maybe had stumbled into the second or third year orientation. It freaked me out!" he whispered not wanting anyone else around them to hear.

Tyler chuckled, "Ok, to be honest, it freaked me out to. I mean seriously, I think they did it on purpose just to freak us out."

"That's just mean man," he huffed. He looked over at her with his hand held out, "Jason Puto."

"Tyler Hyde." She shook it as a blond girl approached them.

"Hey Sis," Jason said, motioning to Tyler. "This is Tyler. She agreed with me about orientation so I don't feel so stupid anymore."

She laughed, "You're far from stupid Jason, but then again you don't know everything either, even though you think you do."

"Brat," he chuckled. "Tyler, this is my little sister Breanne, but we call her Bre."

"Hi," Tyler replied holding her hand out to the woman that looked like her brother only younger. "Are you a medical student too?"

"Shit no!" she laughed, "I'm an art student. I hate the sight of blood, grosses me out."

Jason put an arm around her shoulder, "She's brilliant with a paint brush," he bragged.

She wiggled his arm away, "Stop! I'm not that good."

"Yes you are, that's why you're here."

"Yea," she rolled her eyes, "I had to fight my way in, while you casually stroll in with a scholarship. It's not fair."

Tyler looked up at him, knowing one thing for certain about Stanford; you had to be somebody or something to get a scholarship there.

He smiled uncomfortably at her and then defended himself against his sister, "I didn't stroll in I worked my ass off."

She rolled her eyes again, "I know," she glanced over at Tyler. "It's that sibling rivalry, I hate him," she stood up on her tippy toes and kissed his cheek, "but I'm proud of my big all-star bro." She laughed as he looked overly annoyed by the gesture, wiping away the kiss on his cheek while she walked away. "I got class, see ya. Nice meeting you Tyler."

"Bye," Tyler laughed seeing Jason's face turn a slight crimson.

"She's funny," Tyler said.

"Yea, well she can be a brat too."

"What sport do you play?" she asked him just as the doors to the room opened up.

"Soccer," he said as she pushed herself off the wall. "Have you ever played?"

"No," Tyler replied, more interested now in the river of people going in as she scanned what she could of the inside of the room, scoping out which seat she wanted in the auditorium style room.

"You look like you play sports," he said, trailing behind her as she made her way inside.

"Nope." She eyed her spot and went up the center isle to the third row and took the fourth seat in, turning and getting a view of podium where the lectures would take place. "Perfect," she mumbled, sliding her backpack off as she sat down.

"Where are you from," Jason asked, taking the seat next to her.

She glanced over at him, almost startled that he was not only still there, but also sitting next to her. "What?"

"Where are you from? Where's home?"

"Hawaii," she replied, digging out her cell phone and checking the text messages one more time for a reply from Steve before she shut it off for class.

"Really? That's cool. Were you born there?"

She hoped he wasn't going to be this talkative during class because if so she was either going to have to tell him to shut it, or make the even bolder decision of moving her seat away from him.

"Yes." She took out the book she'd been studying all weekend that already had post it notes along the edges to mark pages she thought were significant and opened to the first chapter.

Jason got the hint that her one line replies were a clear clue that she wasn't interested in talking to him anymore, at all. He glanced at her one more time considering moving to a new chair before class started but was too late as the professor appeared in front of the room with a clipboard. His first announcement was that the seat they were in was theirs for the remainder of the term, handing the clipboard to the student in the front row that had a blank seating chart on it, instructing him to add his name to his seat and pass it on.

He then instructed them to a website on their laptops where he would begin the days lecture.

Tyler took out her laptop and opened it up; it flickered on and then went black. She tapped the 'On' button but nothing happened as she felt her heart rate begin to soar while she thought back to when she had last charged it, cursing herself for this amateur error.

"Shit," she groaned, glancing around the room in a panic as everyone else already had the site up and waiting further instructions.

She felt a nudge on her arm and looked over at Jason. He moved his computer to the edge of the table allowing her to see.

She looked up at him, smiling appreciatively, especially after she had practically ditched him minutes before.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"No problem," he whispered back. "I didn't want to be rude by ignoring you." He smiled and winked, letting her know he was just teasing her with that reply.

She felt her face flush after being called out on her behavior just moments before, and then having to rely on him for support was borderline humiliating, regretting her attitude earlier.

"I'm sorry I was so short."

Jason shrugged, "I can be kinda nosy. My girlfriend says I can be intrusive. So my apologies."

Tyler chuckled, "Well my boyfriend would probably say I'm not intrusive enough, so I guess we even each other out."

Jason nodded with a wide grin. "Guess so."

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Steve replied to Tyler's text as he went up the lift in his house.

 _Sorry I missed you. I'd wish you good luck, but you got this! I'll let you know how mine goes._

He came out and started for his room but stopped, looking across the hall at Tyler's old room; he hadn't been in it since she left, not having a reason to, but suddenly he felt drawn to it. She had left some of her clothes there and other personal things that she felt she wouldn't need.

He wheeled in, looking around at the empty dresser top that had once held a picture of she and her Mom and one that was taken recently of she and him on one of her mandatory outings. He was glad to see it gone; pleased to know that it was one of the items she needed with her.

He looked on the bed and noticed an envelope with his name on it and a new purple IPod. He reached out for the envelope first, opening it.

" _Hi, Steve_ ," she wrote, _"since I can't perform for you in person, I left you a copy of my music instead so you can let your imagination run wild. Listen to it knowing that I love you, and miss you. xxxooo Tyler."_

He smiled as he lowered the note and looked at the IPod, never using one before.

He picked it up and examined the small square object, wondering how you even turned it on. He found the switch and moved it over as a green light came on but no music, again he was confused over where the speakers would be on such a small object.

"Oh shit," he said, feeling embarrassed, glad no one was around to see his error. "Headphones stupid. You are seriously out of touch."

He picked up the pair that was also left for him and slipped them in his ears, right away he heard the first song from Tyler's secret stash that he had many times over wondered the genera of her music was.

He smiled, knowing the song but not enough to know either the words or the artist, but he'd heard it on the radio. It was a couple of years old he guessed. He moved his thumb over the white circle with the small arrows on the IPod and hit one. It started the song over again. He moved his thumb down and tried out each arrow to get the logistics of what each one meant. Two were volume, up and down and the two side arrows advanced the songs forward or backward.

He laughed out loud as the infamous Barry Manilow song ' _I Can't Smile Without You,_ ' that he had teased her about came on next. He was shocked that he recognized it, only because it was popular when he was a kid and his mom played it. The recollection of the words was sketchy but he could picture his mother in the car singing to the radio with he and Mary in the backseat. It instantly brought back fond memories for him, missing his mom, which he hadn't felt for some time. It also gave him an understanding now of why Tyler found it relaxing and made her feel close with her deceased mom.

He set the device on his lap with the headphones still in and picked up his phone, texting her a thank you.

 _Barry knows me so well. He's right, I can't smile without you. Thanks for the gift. I love it and I love you_

He wheeled into his room to get ready for work, thinking how they both had big days ahead of them.

He went for the bottom drawer of the chest that held his cargo pants, his signature uniform, which he hadn't worn for months. He grabbed the first pair not caring really about color and then went to the closet for a Polo style shirt.

He was ready and anxious to get back to work but also a little apprehensive, not sure how it would feel the first time they all left on a call and he'd be stuck back at the station. He tried to forgo the negativity of it for now and just deal with it when it happened; a piece of advice he had learned from Tyler.

His thoughts went to her then, missing her more than ever at that moment. The new routine he was trying to establish was colliding with his old one. He hated the quiet breakfast he'd had by himself, settling for a bowl of cereal, and the bath that took twice as long to accomplish on his own. He missed her help, but more than anything else he missed her companionship.

Not only was she just a pleasure to look at but also their conversations were never boring or routine. She challenged him as did he her, never in a negative way but always with the others best interest at heart.

"God I miss you," he sulked, staring at the bed across the way that they shared the last month together. Sleeping alone again was proving hard getting used to as well. He did sleep, but only because he was so exhausted from the lack of it the night before and the strenuous workouts he was putting himself through left him depleted of energy, but it was helping. He felt strong both mentally and physically, she would be proud he thought with a grin.

He heard the latch on the front door open and then Danny's voice yell out to him.

He turned his chair and headed for the balcony that overlooked the downstairs."Hey," he replied, looking down at him as he turned his head up in his direction. "You said nine-thirty, it's only nine."

"I know. I'm early, so what?"

Steve squinted his eyes accusingly at him, "Did you think I might need some help or something stupid like that?"

"No, of course not! I just got a head start is all." He cocked his head to the side, "Why? Do you need any help? Did you eat?"

He didn't believe him for a second. He hated the pity card, but on the other hand appreciated the concern, deciding to end any more pity visits going foreword. "Yea,'" he replied, trying to hide his grin. "It's been kind of a struggle since Tyler left. I could really use some help changing my catheter, why don't you come on up. Grab a pair of those surgical gloves on the way."

Danny's mouth literally fell open as he stared up at him, speechless.

Steve couldn't control his smile anymore over the priceless expression on partner's face and busted up laughing.

Danny let out a relieved breath and glared at him, "That's not funny. I thought you were serious."

Steve laughed harder just picturing the horrible scene, "You are so gullible sometimes Danno."

"And you're an asshole," he chuckled, going in the kitchen to avoid him.

"I don't need help," he yelled down as Danny disappeared around the corner.

"Don't worry, Buddy, after that you won't be getting any from me either."

Steve went back in the bedroom to get dressed.

He laid himself out on the bed and began the tiresome routine of getting his pants on. The event was annoying to say the least and one that he wasn't sure he would ever get used to. After he was done he hoisted himself back in the chair and slid the shirt over his head.

It actually felt good getting back into uniform.

He wheeled past the mirror on the way to the closet for his shoes when he stopped, backing up and looking at himself in the reflection.

The uniform was the same but the image had changed dramatically. The excitement of going back to work began to fade rapidly.

He stared at himself, beginning at the bottom and slowly making his way up, stopping at his face and looking into his own eyes, the part of him that he felt had changed the most. He no longer could command a room as he once had; he was far from it now. He wasn't their leader anymore even if the position he still held said he was, he was far from being a Commander.

How could the team respect him like they once had when he'd be staying behind safe and sound in the office while they went out on the calls and into potentially dangerous situations? Eventually they wouldn't hold him to the prominent stature they might be at this moment, it was inevitable. He couldn't even holster a gun. He wasn't a cop anymore.

His square shoulders slouched in the chair as he scanned his body once more, wondering why he had made the ridiculous suggestion of going back to work. The first day they would all welcome him back with open arms but after that he felt he would simply disappear to them all and become what he feared more than anything else, a charity case around the office.

It was quite possibly the most disheartening moment of his life, knowing the career he loved so much was officially over.

He felt the cereal in his stomach turn to bile in his throat as the staggering realization of it all began to sink in. Everyone had and would move on with their lives. Tyler would become the doctor that she wanted to be, Danny would take over Five-0 if he hadn't already, gaining the title that he would leave behind. Chin and Kono would both follow him without a doubt, and him, he was stuck in the chair going nowhere.

The image became grotesque to him as he turned away and went for the lanai.

Danny came up the stairs a few minutes later looking at his watch, "We're going to be late if you don't get a move on," he said coming in the room through the open door. He scanned the surroundings and saw him out on the lanai looking out toward the water. "What are you doing? Are you ready?"

Steve turned his head just slightly as he spoke, "You go ahead. I don't think I'm going to go."

"What?!" Danny replied sharply, coming around the front of him and bracing his hands on the railing of the lanai. "What are you talking about? Get your shoes on and let's go."

Steve stared past him out toward the ocean, "I was wrong. I'm not ready."

"You're just nervous about going back." He pushed off the lanai and went behind him," Once you get there you'll be fine." He took ahold of the handles of his chair.

Steve reached out and grabbed the railing with his right hand and the steel bar on the wheels of his chair with the other, preventing himself from being moved. "I told you no!"

"What happened?" Danny demanded, letting go of him. "Ten minutes ago you were ready to go and now all of a sudden your not? What happened in the last couple of minutes to change your mind?"

"I'm just not ready yet," he said again. He looked up over his shoulder at him, "I can't Danny. Not yet." He looked away from him again but not before Danny caught the reason for the dismissal. It was clear as day. For the second time since knowing him he felt sorry for Steve, the first being the night he came to the rehab place and he had begged him to take him home. He had that same look of fear now, maybe not to the extent of that night, but it was there.

"Ok," he said soothingly to him, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Ok." He couldn't argue with what he was going through because he simply couldn't comprehend it. "Steve, does this have anything to do with Tyler being gone?" Wishing she were there now, she'd know what to say to make him change his mind.

He shook his head, "No. I'm just…I'm not the same man anymore, Danny. It'll come to me what I'm supposed to do. I think I just need some time to sort it all out, you know?"

He squeezed his shoulder, "Yea, I know. Ok." He then patted it. "You call me if you need anything. You don't have to hang around here all day you know. We can go grab a bite to eat at lunch or dinner. You let me know."

He turned his head slightly acknowledging the invitation but more so the fact that he understood and didn't try to argue or force his hand, "Thanks, Danny."

"Yep" he backed up, "I gotta take off." He hated leaving him behind, but really had no choice. "I'll talk to you later."

He didn't know how long he had sat there after Danny left, staring down at the water that had once been like therapy to him on days like this when he felt confused, stuck on a case or just stressed out. All he had to do was simply walk down to the beach and swim until he felt the problems drift away. He missed it. He missed Tyler, knowing she'd somehow work up a strategy so he could achieve a swim.

He thought about calling her, but knew she was probably busy with her first day of classes, not wanting to ruin that for her or add any more stress to her day. He also knew that she'd be disappointed if she knew he hadn't gone to work. She would worry, which he didn't want. She had enough on her plate right now to think about without having to deal with his issues. He didn't want to lie to her either, but felt it was best for her not to know. He'd just tell her he gave it a shot but didn't feel comfortable going anymore, so he stopped, she'd understand that.

A wave of guilt washed over him, knowing he was doing the exact same thing that she had done to him about Stanford, but he justified the lie, convincing himself that it was different. Her admission to Stanford was way more important than him going back to work.

His mind drifted back to the original problem, his life in general. Where was he going from here?

He pictured himself in several different job scenarios, including instructor or even a teacher, but not one felt comfortable or even gave him the slightest bit of motivation to act on.

He was a Police Officer plain and simple. There was no other job out there for him. He had to find a way to succeed in this one or he might as well just pack it in.

He stared down at the water again, knowing he couldn't go back to work and just hang at the office all day, he had to be able to work the cases and be out in the field.

"Strength," he said out loud. "You need to be stronger than you are now."

But as he said it, the core strength of his body didn't matter if he couldn't chase a suspect down. He could learn to drive a car without his legs but he couldn't sweep through a house with the others or even have the quick response to protect them if need be from a wheelchair.

The decision to have the operation crossed his mind again. With Tyler leaving and the initial excitement he'd had about going back to work, he hadn't thought about it, but now it was dangling in front of his face, a temptation that brought on another round of scenarios of where his life could end up.

Death was a possibility but so was loosing everything from the neck down, and he almost considered that ranked right up there with death.

He thought of Tyler, and knew he couldn't do that to her. Death might be something she could get over and move on with her life, like she had with her mother, but if it ended up being the alternative to a full recovery; then he knew without a doubt that she would stay with him out of loyalty and perhaps love, and he just couldn't do that to her. They had a good thing going right now and he believed that she was happy. The question he had asked the night before she left about their sex life also left him believing she was happy there as well. At least he could touch her and satisfy her in other ways than the traditional love making, but if he were a quadriplegic, then there would be no physical contact at all and he couldn't do that to her. He loved her too much to force that possibility on her.

So the risk of having the operation became null and void. He was right back where he started with the same problem. How could he become a cop again?

' _Strength_ ," he thought again, ' _independence, training.'_

An idea suddenly occurred to him, using those three core words that were the staple of his Navy life.

He felt a release of adrenaline as the military side of him suddenly sprang to life.

' _I need to develop my own BUD/S class that will strengthen my character, make me mentally independent from this chair and give me the skills needed to protect my team.'_

His chest heaved as the brilliant idea exploded within, rousing that inner drive that had been slumbering for far too long.

"Why not," he whispered as the determination inside of him grew; already strategizing a plan in his head as he quickly turned his chair and headed for his laptop.


	22. Chapter 22

Tyler walked through campus on her way to class with the second week of school under her belt. She had her head in her book even though it was tucked securely in her backpack, yet she had studied the outline by the professor so much she had it memorized, ready for her first quiz that she was headed to.

"Tyler!"

She heard her name and turned seeing Jason jogging up to her.

"Hey," he said as he caught up, "Thanks for the notes, they were awesome."

She smiled, relieved and pleased that he was on board with her note taking style. "Good! I was a little worried that you might think it gibberish." She had got a job through the Student Services Department taking notes for athletic students who couldn't attend classes due to practice or out of town games. Jason was one of three she was assigned; the other was a girl on the women's soccer team and the other athlete played football.

"You did great. I used them last night to study for the quiz."

"Well let's hope they work for both of us then. I'm a little nervous about this quiz."

"Me too," he agreed. "Rappaport can be such a hard ass, I imagine his tests are going to be the same."

Tyler sighed, "I feel like I'm ready…but then again, I don't know."

Jason casually put his arm around her shoulder as they walked, "You'll do fine," he said knowingly, "but me on the other hand. If I don't I'm benched for the first game. This school is strict when it comes to academics vs athletics."

"Yea," she said nervously, looking up at his six foot three height, "I heard about the consequences. That's tough."

"No its not, its good. It'll keep me on my toes because I love playing soccer just as much as I want to be a doctor, and believe me, Stanford scholarship or not, my chances of being a doctor are wayyyyyy better than playing professional soccer."

She liked that he wasn't arrogant about his sports talent, not like the other two; the woman soccer player barely spoke to her and the football player came across as practically blaming her if he didn't get to play in the next game.

Jason on the other hand was modest and became embarrassed when given a compliment, reminding her of another man that she knew who held the same qualities, missing Steve at that moment.

"I'll see you in class," she said to him, "I need to make a quick call."

Jason stepped away from her and smiled, "Spreading a little aloha, perhaps?" he smiled, knowing about Steve.

She rolled her eyes as she shooed him away, "Go to class," she chuckled.

Steve's phone went unanswered so she left him a quick voicemail, letting him know that she missed him and was headed to class so she'd call him back later.

As the message was being left, he rolled up to the ramp that went from the edge of his back yard to the beach.

The word 'ramp' was a descriptive word that did not necessarily coincide with the two boards that he had drug down to the beach by himself from the garage. It had taken over an hour to tear apart the old wooden ladder and cut the pieces down to the size he wanted with the miter saw, almost cutting his hand off in the process, having to reach up on the counter that was no longer waist high to him. He then had to take each one individually down to the edge of the grass, barely able to maneuver his chair and hold the wood at the same time.

By the time he got the materials set up and in place he was sweating, but highly motivated. He was going for a swim today and nothing was going to stop him.

He took his shirt off and reached over the side of his chair for the life vest lying in the grass. He slipped it on and zipped it up, tightening the straps.

He moved his chair forward until the front wheels where lined up with the two boards, grabbing ahold of the spikes of his chair wheels and pulling back, lifting the two smaller wheels off the ground as he inched forward, feeling confident in his strategy, having become quite the master at maneuvering around.

Once the back wheels were in place on the ramp, he set the fronts down again making sure to stay lined up as he slowly made his way down, using his hands as brakes.

The incline he guessed was about 25-30 degrees, which was doable amid his plan that had originated the night before as he soaked in the tub after a strenuous workout, staring down at the water on one of those early evenings just before sunset that would have been perfect for a swim.

It was then that he began to strategize how he was going to make it happen. Less than twelve-four hours later, here he was.

He steadied himself with all four wheels on the board and a good solid grip on them as he slowly worked his way down the ramp.

"You got it," he whispered reassuringly, repeatedly looking over each side to make sure he was indeed on track. "Take it easy, almost there."

A bright smile emerged on his face as the two front wheels hit the beach and he leaned back, lifting them up so as not to get stuck as he made his way down until all four were now on sand.

"Booyah!" he cheered, tightening a fist and giving himself a couple of pats on the chest with it. "Nicely done."

He moved his legs out of the foot holders and stretched them out in front of him and then leaned over the side of the chair and braced a hand on the ground as he slid out onto the sand and lay out on his back.

He smiled up at the cloudless sky over his brilliant scheme to conquer the water, feeling pretty good about one of the three core words he had been working to achieveduring the past couple of weeks. "Independence," he said out loud, "I got this one covered," feeling pretty confident in his endeavor.

He turned his head toward the ocean, the only way to get out there was to just drag himself across the beach, so he sat up and maneuvered his body so his back was to the surf and began to make his way to the water using his hands as leverage, lifting his hips and then dragging the lower half bit by bit.

He smiled on the third attempt of this technique when his hands hit the water.

"Strength," he growled, picking up the pace as he worked faster and faster until he was floating in the knee-high surf.

He reached in the back pocket of his board shorts and pulled out two baby arm floaties that had been in his garage for years, assuming they were he and Mary's when they were younger, blowing up each one with two deep breathes. He shifted his body to bring his legs in closer, putting one of the floaties on each of his ankles to keep evenly buoyant as he swam.

"This is fricking genius," he chuckled, looking down at his feet as they bobbed in the surf.

He flipped his body over easily feeling weightless and ducked his face down in the water, rinsing off the sweat.

"Training," he yelled out, feeling a renewed strength at his triumphant achievement, putting his face back down in the water and began to swim away from shore.

He hadn't even got ten strokes out when he felt the triumphant pleasure over the task that he'd been determined to accomplish; to get back to this place that was like heaven on earth. It was amazing and incredibly liberating to be able to swim again all by himself.

He was about a hundreds out when he stopped and turned over, stretching his arms out and letting the life jacket hold him up as he floated.

It was one of those perfect moments in life that he knew he would remember fondly for years to come. He was at peace, feeling an incredible bond with the nature and his liquid surroundings. People often found sanctuary in churches or places that were sacred to them, but to him, this place was where he could find harmony with everything that existed. It was quiet and gave him time to reflect with a clear head what his troubles were and allow this personal haven to speak to him without any kind of distraction.

"What do you want?" he asked himself. "What is it that is holding you back?" It was two questions that had been bothering him for days.

He felt he had come to terms with his disability and refused to use it as an excuse anymore, needing to dig deeper and find the answer to those two questions.

One word kept popping into his head, one perfect and beautiful name.

"Tyler," he said out loud. It was as if the words came out of nowhere and not from him, but spoken to him. "You need her. For the first time in your life, you actually need someone to feel complete."

He sat up in the water and looked out toward the horizon, "You want her," he answered the first question. "This vast ocean is what is holding you back," he said, answering the second and final question that would put him on the path where he felt strongly he belonged.

"You need to move to California and be with her, now, not later, but now."

The plan was complicated but the reasoning behind it was so simple he almost laughed at the simplicity of the answers that were right there the whole time.

He smiled and lay out on his back again and began to make his way to shore using his arms and the tide to bring him home.

"I love her," he said, feeling the impact of those three words and also feeling the painful distance between them. He had to get to her, picking up his pace wanting to get back now so he could tell her he was coming, assured that she would be just as elated as he was.

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Tyler heard the vibration of her phone during class and quickly reached in her backpack, seeing whom the text was from and the semi-visible message that read, ' _need to talk, call when you can, no rush'._

She wondered what had come up that needed her attention, alarmed at first, but the ' _no rush'_ eased her down from that. She was tempted to reply and even leave class to call him back but felt a nudge from Jason distracting her from that thought.

She looked up and saw the class looking at her as well as her professor.

She glanced over at Jason hoping for some sort of explanation when the professor spoke up first.

"Miss Hyde," he said with a slight annoyance to his voice. "You were here on the first day of class were you not?"

Tyler felt her face flush, "Yes, I was."

"Then do you recall my adamant rule of no cell phone use during class?" He never gave her time to answer before going in to a small rant. "I know it is difficult for some people to be away from their precious object for an hour and a half but you better learn to set boundaries with your toy, because I can't think of anything less professional than a doctor checking their cell phone while with a patient."

Her whole body was aflame with crimson red by now as she shut the phone off and dropped it in her bag. "Sorry. Won't happen again."

She wondered again why Steve would be calling her? He knew her schedule as well as she did, and also knew she would be in class at that moment so she would never be able to answer. If it wasn't an emergency, she thought irritably, then why the call at that time? She felt a slight annoyance with him for the reasoning behind the call that put her in a bad place with her professor, needing to work harder than she already was in order to overcome whatever stigma he had of her now.

Jason looked over at her and cringed over the berating as she rolled her eyes, not so much over the professors scolding but to herself for not shutting her phone off before class like she normally did, wondering again why Steve would be calling her now?

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Steve's next call was to Danny, not completely thinking through his "brilliant" plan of how he was going to get back up on the grass from the beach. Rolling back up on the ramp was not an option, seeing nothing but a bad idea in that strategy.

He lay back on the beach and waited, letting the sun dry him off. The relaxed feeling of being tired after the swim and the feel of the warm sun on his body was stimulating. It had been a while since he'd felt so relaxed and happy; at least not since Tyler had left. He couldn't wait to talk to her, glancing at his watch for the ETA of Danny's arrival when he suddenly realized Tyler was in class when he left the message, cringing over the call, hoping she had turned her phone off but he'd been so anxious to speak to her that he neglected to mentally check her schedule.

He heard sirens in the distance, narrowing his eyes in confusion as they neared, cringing again as they stopped but he could hear the Camaro's engine as it roared up the street, knowing it was Danny and silently cursing him for using such measures to get to his house so quickly. It wasn't like he was in any desire straits; he was just hanging out, enjoying himself actually.

He sat up seeing he and Kono come around the corner of the house. She picked up her pace to a sprint as Danny slowed, seeing clearly there was nothing wrong with him, but the scowl on his face told Steve that he was going to get a tongue lashing for the crazy stunt he pulled.

"Are you ok?" Kono asked, jumping down off the small knoll onto the beach, squatting down next to him.

"I'm fine," he replied casually, sitting up on his elbows.

"Here!" Danny said irritably, taking his gun from his holster as he stood on the edge of the grass looking down at him. "Just take it and shoot yourself if you are so hell bent on trying to kill yourself."

"Don't be so dramatic," Steve huffed.

"Do you see what I have to deal with?" Danny shook his head, speaking to Kono, "He's like a two year old that needs to be kept in a playpen."

She chuckled as she stood back up. "He's adventurous! Geez, you act like you just met him last week."

"Thank you, Kono," Steve replied with a wide grin as she lifted his chair up to Danny.

"Don't encourage him."

"How was your swim?" she asked him, gripping him under the shoulders, looking up at Danny as he jumped down to help her.

"It was great! The best I've ever had actually." He looked down at Danny as he lifted up his legs, "And safe," he added, "I never struggled for a second."

"Don't do that again," he warned, with a look that spoke as clearly as the words.

"I'm not a kid, and I wouldn't put myself in danger. I had a life vest on."

They lifted him over the short knoll and set him on the ground in the grass as they both stepped up beside him. Danny adjusted his wheelchair for easy access. He went to help him when Steve nudged his hands away.

"I said I'm not a kid, I can do it myself."

"Fine!" he held his hands up and stepped back. "Then next time don't call me when you need help getting off the beach."

Steve hoisted himself up into his chair and looked sheepishly over at Danny who stood with his arms crossed glaring at him.

"I'm sorry, all right. I appreciate you coming over here to help me." He sighed loudly, knowing he might have been on that beach for a long time before getting himself up. "I'll think it through next time." He looked out toward the water. "I just needed to get out there is all, badly."

"It's ok," Kono said knowingly, with a hand on his shoulder, "I get it." She knew that he loved the water as much as she did and also knew if she were band from it for as long as he had been she would have done the same thing, dangerous or not.

He looked up at her appreciatively, "You know how it feels to want to go out there."

She nodded and then looked over at Danny. "He doesn't get it."

"I get it," Danny whined. "Ok, ok, it's the lure of the water, the need to conquer, the feeling that you won mind over liquid."

"No," Steve and Kono both said simultaneously as she elaborated more on the subject.

"It has nothing to do with conquering anything in that shape or form, it has to do with feeling a part of something bigger than yourself and the feeling of being alone with your thoughts while Kanaloa embraces you."

Danny rolled his eyes, "Ok."

"See," Steve said to her, "he doesn't get it."

"No, I don't," his voice becoming passive, "but I do understand your need for it. The same as I feel the need every once in a while for a huge slice of dough, sauce and mozz." He licked his lips, "Like right now."

"I think I have a frozen pizza in the freezer," Steve said as Kono laughed while he turned his chair toward the house.

"What?!" Danny made a horrified face over that suggestion, "Ok then," he retaliated, "I guess swimming in a pool would replace the ocean, right?"

Steve smiled as he pushed his way toward the house. "We can put some pineapple on it if you want?"

"You're making me sick, so just shut up."

Kono laughed, grabbing the back of his chair handles, helping push him as she bent over whispering to him. "You still got it, Boss," she chuckled, speaking of his ability to get a rise out of Danny, missing the friendly banter between her two partners.

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Steve waved to them from the front door as they backed out of the driveway. He pushed back in his chair and closed the door, hearing his laptop that was out on the patio table chiming, alerting him of an incoming FaceTime call, knowing it was Tyler.

He wheeled across the floor hearing the third chime knowing it would ring only six times before hanging up. He was anxious to talk her and tell her the news of his plan, and to just talk to her, missing her more that day than ever before.

As he came across the threshold of the door to the patio when his wheels stuck, forcing him to back up and make another go at it across the small lip on the floor, hearing the fifth chime as he reached out and pressed the button allowing the call on the sixth ring.

Tyler stared at the screen waiting for him to accept the incoming call, needing to know what was so important. She was worried about whatever he needed to tell her, but was still a little irritated that he had called her during a class.

She turned her head hearing a knock on her dorm room door and looked back at the computer one last time knowing the call would delete automatically after the sixth attempt. She stood up and went to the door, just missing the image of Steve as he popped up on the screen.

"Hey," he said to her as she walked away. She didn't turn back around over his greeting so he called out to her again. "Hey, Tyler." Realizing just then that her computer was on mute. "Shit," he mumbled, chuckling as he sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, waiting for her to come back and hopefully notice him.

He could see her across the room and scanned her body in the cut-off jean shorts, admiring the tanned legs and her perfectly round butt, letting out a low growl over the pleasurable sight of it.

She opened the door seeing a wide grinning Jason leaning against the doorframe.

"What are you doing right now?" he asked.

Tyler shook her head eyeing him suspiciously; it was the first time he had shown up at her door unannounced. "Nothing really, why?"

Jason pointed toward the inside of her room, "Put some shoes on we're going to celebrate," he smiled happily.

"Celebrate what?" she asked, "What's going on, Jason?"

Steve leaned forward, his eyes now fixated on the man at her door. He was tall, maybe six-three and extremely fit and trim; an athlete he thought to himself, but what got his attention the most was the way they were interacting. They knew each other well, he wondered if he was one of the athletes that Tyler had been taking notes for and was maybe there to pick up the latest work, but his stomach suddenly turned as she reached up and put her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Steve stared at the man's arms that held her just as warmly.

"Oh my God, Jason," Tyler exclaimed, squeezing him around the neck, "that is so great! I'm so happy for you. Congratulations!" She let go, letting her hands innocently slide down his chest as she gently shoved him with a wide smile that equaled his. "I can't believe you're getting married! When did you propose?"

"About two hours ago. She was surprised too. I wanted to catch her off guard and I succeeded. I think she knew it was coming but probably not for another year or so."

"You are so sneaky," she laughed.

"C'mon," he said, "grab your stuff, we're meeting my sister and fiancé' and some others over at Salutes for some beers. I'm sure she'll tell you all about it."

"Fiancé'," she teased him as she went for her shoes and wallet, "you already have that down."

"What can I say," he laughed, "I'm in love."

Steve felt like he'd been punched in the chest. Tyler disappeared from the camera view but he continued to stare at the vibrant young man alone on the screen as he spoke to her, wishing he could hear the conversation, but then again was glad he couldn't; the visual was painful enough.

She came back into view again, putting a hand on the man's shoulder as she followed him out the door and closed it behind her.

He told himself it was innocent enough, but couldn't get that one thought out of his head that was pulsating and throbbing mercilessly, whispering the fleshly deed that was lacking in their relationship knowing full well that the man in the photo was fully capable of achieving it. He and Tyler were an ocean apart, while she and that man were an arms length. His greatest fear began to surface once again as his mind played out the horrible intimate visual of her with the tall athlete in a way that he never could. She told him she was happy and he believed her, but seeing her first hand so happy with another man sent his mind reeling. He loved her, but deep down inside he could never blame her for straying in that way, not now, not while she was so young and the need for it so vibrant. He had to trust her, he had no other choice, but that voice still tormented him whether or not he deserved her at all. In another lifetime he could compete with the man on the screen, but not now, now he was just hanging on and praying that if something does happen between them, that she won't fall in love, but knowing Tyler as he did, she wouldn't do it unless she was.

He thought about his plan to go to California but just as quickly as it had surfaced, he snuffed it out.

She had left with both of them in a good place in their relationship. He feared now that if he did go it would only allow her to see him for what he really was compared to the other man. He couldn't compete with that. But as that thought flickered in his head the solution to his problem whispered in his other ear. It was a catch-22, if he had the operation and became a quadriplegic, then he'd loose her for sure, if he didn't have the operation than more than likely over time he would loose her as well, so in his own fearful conclusion, he had no choice, if he wanted her bad enough he was going to have to risk life and limb to keep her.

He had tried to accept all this time that he could make her happy but deep down inside he knew the operation was inevitable, he just never had a good enough reason to go through with it…until now.

He'd risked his life countless times before in circumstances that meant far less to him than Tyler, why should this risk be any different?

It was time, he thought, knowing that timing was everything in life and the time for the surgery was now. He'd do it for her.


	23. Chapter 23

Danny gave Steve a courtesy knock on his front door but didn't wait for a reply as he grabbed the handle seeing that it was locked. He pounded his fist on it while he reached in his pocket with his other hand for his keys, shuffling through them for the spare key.

It had been four days since he'd spoken to him but wasn't too alarmed over that until the call came from Tyler that she hadn't heard from him either and had tried several times to reach him. Her voice was beyond concern when he had talked to her less than half an hour before, promising her he'd go over right away and check on him, not that he wouldn't have anyway, his own concern growing by the minute as he raced from his home to Steve's.

His hands trembled slightly as pushed the key in the slot and undid the lock, not sure what he would find. The last time he had seen him he'd been summoned to carry him off the beach after his ridiculous ocean swim stunt, hoping he hadn't tried it again or something else that could cause him imminent danger.

"Steve!" he shouted as he came in the front door, going straight for the automatic lift, not seeing him inside it as he called out again and raced up the stairs.

"Steve!" he shouted, halfway up and then stopped, feeling an urgency to check the beach.

He turned and went for the back door, feeling a wave of relief wash over him as he came out, seeing him down by the edge of the grass in his wheelchair looking out at water.

"Hey," he said as he came up behind him. "Did you not hear me? What are you doing?"

Steve looked over his shoulder, his expression unaffected by both the scolding and his presence. "Hey, I was just going to call you."

Danny came around and stood in front of him. "I called you about five times, so has Tyler. She's worried sick! Why haven't you been answering your phone?"

He looked away from him and back out toward the horizon. "I've been thinking."

"Thinking?" he slammed him again. "You can't think and answer your phone at the same time?"

Steve shrugged, not really listening to him anymore about that subject, having another one occupying him and trying to come up with the best possible way to tell his partner of it.

"Steve?" Danny persisted, becoming irritated with him, "What's the matter with you?!"

He glanced up at him, "I need a favor from you. Can you do me a solid without any backlash or argument or…" he sighed, looking out to the water once again. The vision before him was like a focal point, keeping him calm over the task he had to accomplish. He'd been sitting there for the past hour trying to come up with a way to tell him but decided in that second that there would be no easy way. He just had to come out with it.

Danny sensed something big on the horizon, walking over and grabbing one of the lawn chairs and setting it down next to the wheelchair. He rubbed his sweaty hands on his pants before sitting down.

"Ok, what's up?" he asked in a tone that told Steve to just spit it out. "What's the favor you need?"

"I need a ride," he replied.

"Where to?"

"Queen's Hospital."

Danny's eye's narrowed, "For what? Do you have a doctor's appointment?"

"No, not exactly."

"X-rays?"

He shook his head this time, looking over at him, keeping his focus on his best friend, hoping for encouragement but knew it was going to be the opposite, mainly from fear, which he was ready for.

"Are we playing twenty questions here?" Danny huffed; getting impatient with his dancing around whatever it was he had to say.

"I have surgery scheduled for nine-thirty tomorrow morning," Steve blurted out.

He watched Danny's first initial reaction which was confused and then all at once it sunk in and the confusion turned to worry, followed shortly after to anger as he bolted out of the chair, running his hand frustratingly over his hair as he walked briskly away and then turned to him.

"Why? Why now?"

"I'm ready."

"Says who?"

"Me, and Doctor Kidder."

His expression became confused again but his tone condescending, "So you just called him up and said, 'Hey Doc I'm ready, can I come in tomorrow and get sliced up?'"

Steve rolled his eyes at his choice of words, "No Danny, of course not. I called him four days ago and he agreed to see me and we talked it over and then he used the next two days to fit me in and get all the tests and x-rays done and it turns out that he thinks I'm strong enough and the chances of a successful outcome are good."

"Good?" he questioned, staring down at him bewildered, "Good? Not great, not better than average, not excellent? Just good?!"

"Every surgery has risks. He's performed several of these with successful results."

"And how many unsuccessful? How many did he perform where the patient ended up worse off?"

He wasn't going to get into a statistical battle with him. He had already discussed the morbid details with his doctor and made the final decision to go through with it anyway. "He sent me home for a day and made me really think about it, and I did." He looked out toward the water again, "I want my legs back Danny. I want my life back."

"You have a life. Don't use that as an excuse."

He looked over at him wanting him to understand, but not necessarily needing him to. In the end it was already a done deal, but he wanted his acceptance.

"Sit in a chair with me Danny and mirror my life for just a week. After that week I'll give you the choice of staying in it for the rest of your life or getting up and walking away. Tell me what you'd choose?"

"If the outcome was either death or worse off paralysis then I'd stay put."

"Bullshit you would," Steve argued. "You'd do it. You'd do it for Gracie. You'd risk everything for her."

He was playing hardball now Danny thought, throwing it back at him. "Are you doing this for Tyler?"

"No." But his response was too quickly tossed out there, knowing it wasn't convincing enough.

"Bullshit your not."

Steve's eyes turned away and focused on the ground, feeling that all to familiar pain in his heart over her that had surfaced over the past couple of days.

"I don't want to lose her Danny," his voice stressing his fear over it.

Danny sat back down in the chair staring out at the water, contemplating his response over that, but couldn't come up with anything.

"I love her," Steve added.

He glanced over at him. "I know you do," his tone expressing his sincerity over that.

They sat in silence; neither one feeling the need to argue it any longer.

After several minutes Steve finally broke the silence.

"So will you take me?"

A look of wonderment came over Danny's face. "How have you been getting back and forth the past few days?"

A slight smile crossed Steve's lips, "The first day I Ubered it, after that Dr. Kidder sent an ambulance to pick me up."

"Why didn't you request that for tomorrow too?"

Steve looked him square in the eye, "I don't want to go alone tomorrow. I'm hoping I don't have to."

Danny felt the impact of that wish all the way to his core. He'd been with him since the day he was shot and laid on the ground bleeding to death, and then through the trial and tribulation of the recovery until he could function on his own. It was not only his duty to take him as his partner, but it was his privilege to see him through the rest of the way as his best friend.

"Sure," he said, nodding his head in agreement. "I'll take you."

Steve smiled as he let out a sigh of relief and focused back out at the crystal blue waters off the shore of his house, "Thanks Buddy."

"When do you plan on telling Tyler?"

Steve gripped the arms of his chair and fidgeted just slightly over the uncomfortable question. "After I guess."

"You can't do that. She's the reason I'm here. You need to call her now."

"I don't want her to worry about me."

"Too late. She's already worried sick about you. She's knows something's up. You need to be honest with her…" he was interrupted by the vibration of his phone in his pocket as he pulled it out, seeing her incoming call. He handed it out to him, "Tell her now. She deserves to know what's going on."

Steve stared at the phone feeling his heartbeat accelerate. "What do I say?"

Danny shoved the phone closer, "Tell her the truth."

He apprehensively took the phone from him just as Danny accepted the call.

"Hello?" Tyler said as she paced back and forth in her dorm room. "Danny? Are you there?"

"Hey Tyler. Its me," Steve replied as Danny got up and walked toward the house.

She stopped dead in her tracks and closed her eyes with her hand over her heart in relief. "Oh thank god," she sighed and then quickly scolded him. "Where have you been?! Why haven't you been answering my calls or texts? And why haven't you called me? I was worried sick about you! I had to call Danny. I was about to call the police!"

Steve smiled over her rant, not listening to the anger and frustration coming from her, but hearing the proof that she loved him.

"I'm sorry."

"You should be," she calmed, hearing the apology in his voice. "So what's up? What's going on? Why the distance? Are you mad at me about something? Are you trying to torture me for no good reason?"

"No," he chuckled, "I've been kinda busy with some stuff at the hospital."

That got her attention, "What do mean? What kind of stuff? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he assured her, "but I have some news and I didn't want to worry you."

She sat down on her bed, feeling her legs get weak over that statement, hating that she was so far away. "What news?"

He paused, trying to think of the right way to tell her without it sounding overwhelming.

"Steve," she whined, "what?"

"I'm going in for surgery tomorrow morning."

"Surgery?" she questioned, "For what?"

"The surgery," he replied.

Just like Danny she caught on immediately, feeling her heart drop to her stomach.

"Why?" she gasped, trying to control the tone of her voice that was beginning to mirror the fear that was shooting through her. "Why now? Why all of a sudden is this a priority?" It dawned on her then that he wasn't even going to tell her. "You weren't even going to tell me."

"Tyler," he began.

"No!" she growled. "How dare you keep this from me! Am I no one to you now? Is that it? Am I just a figment of your imagination because I'm so far away? How dare you!" she yelled, bolting off the bed as she paced back and forth again.

"Tyler," Steve laughed, unable to control himself. "I wasn't being malicious. I'm sorry. I realize now it was wrong of me not to tell you."

"Yes it was! It was mean."

"I'm sorry," he said sincerely.

She sat down on the bed again as her temper calmed. "Why Steve? What made you change your mind?"

"I just feel it's time. I'm ready and I'm healthy now. Dr. Kidder said I'm strong enough for the surgery and he's very confident for a positive outcome."

"So it's a guarantee then?" she asked, knowing it wasn't but wanted to get that out there rather than just pat him on the back like he was hoping for.

He knew it wasn't going to be that easy with her, the same as it hadn't been with Danny. "Nothing is a guarantee."

"My love for you is," she replied, catching him by surprise. "Do you believe that?"

He swore he felt his heart skip a beat, understanding now all too well that famous cliché. A smile slowly grew on his lips, knowing her well enough to know her declaration was from her heart and true to fact.

"Yes," he replied barely above a whisper, missing her and letting go any false accusations that he might have had about her and the athlete.

"Then why are you shutting me out?"

"I don't want to."

"Then tell me why? The real reason, Steve."

He had to come clean with her. She deserved to know the truth. "I can't be…" he paused swallowing down the lump that had formed in his throat. "I can't be with you anymore like this. I know you say it's enough for you, and I believe that Tyler and I love you for it, but…for me, I can't do it anymore. I can't. You deserve more and I'll never be content with you like this. Can you understand that? It's not about you Tyler, its about me. I think I just realized that."

She felt tears sting her eyes understating all too well what he was saying to her. He wasn't doing it for her; he was doing it for them. And there was nothing she could say now to argue his point. It was checkmate and he won.

He could hear her tears through the phone, which tore at him from every angle.

"I love you, Tyler. You're the only woman I've ever said that too. It has to be all of nothing. That might be selfish and cruel but I love you too much to let it be anything else. Please tell me that you understand that?"

Coming from anyone else she would have thought it incredibly cruel and narcissistic, but coming from him she saw the opposite. He was risking his life to give her the one he felt she deserved, how could she think of it as anything but incredibly giving and noble. She wanted to beg him not to go through with it, but she couldn't. She had to back him up or she'd lose him anyway, that was the cruel part.

"I understand," she sniffed as the tears fell freely now, hating that she wasn't sitting next to him at that second. "I love you," she choked and then began to sob as the horrible fear overcame her that this could possibly be the last conversation they ever had.

He bent his head, rubbing his thumb and index fingers over his eyes, wiping away the moisture that was building over hearing her turmoil that he was causing. "Please don't cry," he begged, but it was useless words and in a way it was overwhelmingly comforting to him knowing that she loved him enough to shed them for him. "I'm sorry, Tyler."

"No," she sniffed, "don't be sorry," she gulped as her voice trembled, "this is why I fell in love with you, because you're the most generous and bravest person I've ever met. I'll support you in whatever decision you make." She tried her best to stifle her tears and sound strong for him, "I promise."

He felt an incredible sense of relief overcome him, wishing more than ever that she were sitting next to him so he could kiss her. "Everything's going to be all right," he assured her, as he was assured himself. They belonged together, not believing for one second that things wouldn't go their way after the operation.

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Danny stood next to the gurney where Steve lay with a light blue blanket covering him to mid-chest and an IV inserted in his arm below the bend of his elbow.

"You ok?" Danny asked him as he lay with his eyes closed but he knew he wasn't asleep.

Steve opened them and looked up at him with a slight grin, "Yea, I'm good. Thanks for hauling me down here Danny, and for staying."

"Of course," he replied sharply, "What did you think I was going to do, drop you off at the entrance and go grab a bite to eat?"

Steve chuckled, "No, but you've been very cool about this, so thanks."

"Actually, my tongue hurts from biting it but I know it's something you feel strongly about so there really is no use for me to argue with you. Your mind is made up so…" he shrugged having said his peace. "I'm glad you told Tyler though. She deserved to know."

Steve nodded, "Me too, and you're right, she did deserve to know. It was a good conversation." He had refused to get in to any kind of morbid discussion with her the day before, ending the call on a good note, telling her again how much he loved her and how important her happiness was to him. She cried some more but her tears were silent into the phone as she reciprocated his words and struggled with her own doubts to plead with him not to go through with it, but in the end she didn't want to end their conversation with him having any doubts about her loyalty to not only him but their relationship. He needed her now more than ever.

"I wish she was here now," Steve said, but knew that was impossible. One of the reasons why he hadn't wanted to tell her was because it would be difficult for her to leave medical school right in the middle of a semester, even for a short period of time. It could end up hurting her grades and set her back, which he didn't want.

Dr. Kidder approached them wearing a pair of dark blue scrubs and a matching hat that had the words 'Surfer Dude' embroidered across the front.

"How you doing Steve? Are you ready for this? I am," he added enthusiastically as two orderlies each took a place at the front and end of the gurney, ready to wheel him into the surgery room.

Steve let out a deep meditating style of breath and smiled up at him, "Yep. Let's roll." He looked over at Danny whose expression was anything but calm, cool and motivated, on the contrary the worry in his eyes expressed the anxiety that he felt. "Hey Danno," Steve said seeing it clearly, "It's all good man," he reached his hand up as Danny took it in a 'bro' style hold bending over and giving him a hug the best he could.

"I know it'll turn out well," he lied, but came back up with a new and more pleasing attitude, "I'm just dreading you coming back to work. It's been very liberating driving my own car and calling the shots without actually getting shot at."

Steve chuckled, "I promise to be more passive when I come back."

"Liar," Danny snorted, patting him on the shoulder. "Ok, go."

"I love you brother," Steve said to him, squeezing his hand one more time before letting go. "I'll see you soon."

Danny nodded fighting off the horrible apprehension that suddenly hit him over the separation, fearing the possibility that it could be the last time he spoke to him. "I love you buddy, even though you drive me crazy."

He heard Steve laugh as they wheeled him through the two double doors, but once out of sight Danny leaned back against the wall, thankful for the support as he closed his eyes trying to tell himself over and over that it was going to be all right, but deep down inside he feared the worst. This wasn't a routine surgery that Steve and Dr. Kidder so casually portrayed it to be. It was dangerous. It was risky and could leave Steve worse off than he was, or likely dead if things didn't go as planned. There were scenarios that he couldn't help but think and worry over.

"Danny!" Tyler yelled out as she came running down the hallway jumping out of the way of a nurse as they came around another corner, apologizing only briefly as she caught up to him. "Where is he? Has he gone in yet?"

He was surprised as hell to see her but was also greatly appreciative to not only have the company but it would do wonders for Steve as well. He had made it clear to him the day before that he didn't want anyone else to know what was happening, not even Chin and Kono, which Danny strongly objected to, but had to respect his wishes, keeping it under wraps as promised.

"Hey! I can't believe you're here! They just took him in through there about five minutes ago," he pointed to the doors as Tyler went in that direction, ignoring the 'Authorized Employees Only' sign on the door.

"You can't come in here," the nurse on the other side expressed fanatically pointing in the opposite direction which was the exit.

"I have to see Dr. Kidder's patient before he goes under!"

"Impossible," she shook her head. "He's already in surgery."

"Dr. Kidder!" she yelled out. "Matt!" she yelled again.

"Call security," the nurse shouted to one of the other nurses.

"Dr. Kidder came out of the room labeled _Surgery 4_ after hearing his name while scrubbing in. "Tyler,' he said surprised.

"I want to see Steve before he goes under," she pleaded. "Please!" she begged, "Please, just for a second."

He looked around at the others and then motioned with his head to follow him. "Come on," he sighed as if only slightly irritated by the request. Grab a mask," he ordered, pointing at the supply box by the door. He brought her in the next room where he was scrubbing up and handed her pair of clean scrubs. He replaced the ones he had on as well after having left the sterile room.

He led her inside the operating room and stopped motioning for her to go ahead as the staff halted their preparation clearly shocked over the intrusion.

"Don't touch anything, not even him," Matt ordered as she nodded her understanding. "She'll just be a second," he told the others. "She's a medical student and knows the routine," he added to ease their anxiety over the visit.

Steve lay on his stomach with each of his arms stretched above his head. The special spinal surgical table that inclined in the middle lifted his body to an arched position for easier access during the operation. His head lay on two pillows on its side, facing the opposite direction of her. She could see the tubes in his arms already where the Anesthesiologist had put in an IV to sedate him and the other to administer fluids during the procedure. Tyler glanced up at him. "Is he awake?"

"Barely," he replied.

Steve opened his eyes, feeling groggy and tired but the sound of her voice alerted him out of the altered state that began to overtake him.

As he was deciding whether or not what he heard was an illusion or her actual voice, her face appeared as she squatted down in front of him. Half of it was covered by the mask but her eyes unmistakenly belonged to the woman he had fallen in love with.

"Hi," she said, fighting desperately with the urge to touch him.

He stared at her and then blinked, "Are you here?" he asked dreamily.

She smiled knowing he was close to being out. "Yes. I love you. I'm here."

That got a slight smile out him as he fought to keep his eyes open. "I love…too," he barely got the words out as his eyes closed for good.

Her smile faded as she stared at the peaceful expression on his face.

"I need to get his breathing tube in," the Anesthesiologist announced, but was speaking to Dr. Kidder as if telling him to get her out of there.

"Ok Tyler let's go."

She stood up and looked across the room at him. "I want to stay for the operation."

Matt huffed, "No way."

"Please, I won't…"

"Out of the question, no!" he said firmly, pointing toward the door. "Waiting room, now!"

She glanced down at Steve one last time with a look of regret and fear that it might be her last time.

"Tyler…"

"Ok, ok, I'm going," she said regrettably and left the room.

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Tyler closed her laptop and set it on the vacant chair next to her in the waiting room. She stood up and stretched her arms above her head, leaning to one side and then the other. She gripped both hands and bent over, stretching her back out next, feeling like she'd been sitting and waiting for days.

She glanced at her watch and moaned at the small amount of time that had passed since she had last looked. She fell back into the cushioned chair with a plop, frustrated over not hearing anything yet.

It had been over four hours and nothing. She went to reach for her laptop again but forwent the useless task of trying to study. She had been staring at the half written report for an hour and had barely got two sentences produced, knowing it was pointless.

She looked up seeing Danny come in holding two cans of pop, handing one to her.

"Thanks," she said with a bored sigh, "I want Dr. Kidder to take his time and be careful, but I wished he'd hurry up."

Danny chuckled over that as he popped the top on his drink. "That makes no sense, and you're in medical school."

She sat back and rolled her eyes, "I'll never make families wait like this. I'd send a nurse out to keep them updated."

"No you won't," he laughed again.

She rolled her eyes at herself this time and chuckled with him at how ridiculous that was, "I know, but geez at least I'll know what their feeling. This sucks."

He patted her leg as he took the seat next to her, "No news is good news."

"No its not! Why do people say that? That's not true at all. What if there are complications and that's why it's taking so long? What if he…"

"All right!" Danny stopped the rant not wanting to hear any negativity. "You need to relax."

She held the pop in her hand, toying with the top as she stared at it, feeling bad for her outburst. "Sorry, I'm just scared. I love him so much. I'm just scared."

"I know."

"Danny?" she began, her voice low as if what she were about to ask was troubling to her. It got his attention as he glanced over at her.

"What's on your mind?"

She hesitated and then looked over at him showing the signs that he heard in her voice. "He's doing this because of me. I want you to know that I tried to talk him out of it but it was no use. He got it stuck in his head that he thinks I deserve more than what he can offer me, but he's wrong. I fell in love with him as is and I would spend the rest of my life with him as is and be very happy. I told him that but it was no use."

"You've been good to him Tyler. You saved his life in so many ways," he smiled. "You have to know Steve the way I do, above anything else he's loyal as hell. If he thinks this is what is best, then this is what is best. Don't beat yourself up over it. To be quite honest I think even if you hadn't come along he would have found another excuse to go through with it. He never would have been content with his life otherwise."

"I hate to bring this up, but what if he becomes completely incapacitated? What then?" Her bottom lip quivered as she tried to get out her next sentence as her voice broke and tears filled her eyes. "I'm afraid he'll shut me out for good." She bent her head as he leaned into her, putting an arm around her shoulder, but knowing full well that's exactly what would happen.

"Hey," he comforted her, "if you love him and he loves you, which I know he does, then it'll all work out." It was all he could think of to say to ease her fear.

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Tyler and Danny both stood up as Dr. Kidder came in the room. He still had his scrubs on not wanting to waste any time with bringing them the news. The surgery had lasted longer than he had anticipated.

"Have a seat," he said to them as she came forward.

"How is he?" Tyler asked, searching his face for any sign of a negative outcome.

"He's stable," he replied, grabbing one of the chairs and positioning it in front of them as he sat down, motioning to theirs, asking again for them to sit. "The surgery went well. He…"

"Just well?" Danny blurted out. "Not excellent. Not even great, just well?  
Matt continued on, "We had some complications in the beginning with his blood pressure dropping," he saw the horrified look come over Tyler and quickly snuffed out any fear she might have, "BUT we got him stabilized and were able to continue without any more issues."

"And the bullet?" Danny asked, "Did you get it out?"

Matt slowly nodded his head, "I know what you're next question is going to be and I don't know yet. I can't tell you what the outcome of his paralysis is going to be until the swelling goes down. We were wise to hold off on the extracting of the bullet until now. The nerve roots damage around the T11 and T12 vertebrae where the bullet was lodged was not as bad as I had anticipated. His body had already begun the process of healing and regenerating the damaged nerves around the infected area."

"That's possible?" Danny asked with a look over shocked wonderment on his face.

"Yes," Tyler answered for him. You'd be amazed what the body is capable of achieving on its own. That's why they had kept him on Steroids and Antibiotics to help the process and fight off any infection that could cause deterioration."

"Very good," Matt grinned at her. "That's exactly why. Once I got in there it was pretty clean." He held his hands out, "I can't tell you right now if it was a success, like I said, we have to wait until the swelling goes down, but the surgery did go well."

"How long before the swelling goes down," Danny asked.

"That varies with patients. I don't want to tell you two days and with Steve it takes four and worry you. It could take up to a week before we know the final outcome."

"Is he breathing on his own?" Tyler asked, knowing that one task alone would be a huge factor of whether or not the procedure had potentially set them back as far as his paralysis went.

Matt shook his head, "No, not yet. We have him hooked up to a ventilator." Of all the news, that was the hardest for him to deliver and the results of it on their faces was even tougher to take. "Don't let that discourage you," he said to them, knowing exactly what was going through their minds. "Like I said, once the swelling goes down we'll know more."

"In other words," Danny said as he sat back in the chair and ran his hand down his face, coming to the conclusion that all was not in actuality 'well', "We beat the worst case scenario and he's still alive, but now it's just a matter of whether or not he can breathe on his own or has any movement from the neck down, right? That's what you're telling us? He's not completely out of the woods yet?"

Matt shook his head, "No, he's not completely out of the woods yet."

"He'll be fine," Tyler said reassuring, as her posture straightened, "He's the strongest most capable man I've ever met. He wouldn't have gone through with this unless he knew he could beat it," she smiled as she looked over at Danny. "You know that as well as I do."

Danny knew she was trying to make the best of a potential bad situation. He wasn't about to deny her nor Steve the benefit of the doubt, especially now, no matter what he thought. "You're right about that. He even told me yesterday sitting out in his backyard that he knew everything was going to fine."

She reached over and took his hand, "It will be."

He held it and could see the encouraging look in her eyes, but the uncontrollable trembling of her hand told him how she really felt.

She was as scared as he was.


	24. Chapter 24

**_Soooo sorry for the long delay, but I have a good excuse. I'm in Hawaii at the moment. :) I've felt guilty for not finishing this chapter but have been consumed with paradise...sorry again...here you go. Thanks for reading and being patient!_**

 ** _Aloha!_**

* * *

Steve looked up toward the peak of Koko Head, feeling energized as he sprinted up the last few hundred yards, not even feeling winded. The blue sky shimmered in his dream and the sun that was directly above him wasn't hot but felt good on his bare shoulders. He looked down, watching his feet as they gracefully moved from rock to rock, his legs carrying him like he was weightless. He glanced back up again for clarification and smiled as the summit lay right before him, having reached it at incredible speed.

A bright light flashed before his eyes and he turned, hearing his name being called.

"Steve," Dr. Kidder said to him, holding one of his eyes open and quickly flashing the small light in his hand over his pupil to try and stimulate brain activity to wake him up. "Steve? Can you hear me buddy?" he said to him again. The pupil dilated and Matt smiled. "That's right, c'mon back now."

Steve blinked and slowly opened his eyes, seeing the brightness of the room and closed them again, not liking it.

Matt reached over and turned down the light dimmer, "Better now?" he said to him as Steve slowly reacted to the voice and blinked several more times before opening them again fully.

"Just relax and look up at me," he said to him, leaning over the bed to give him a direct line of sight so he wouldn't have to move his head with the breathing tube still stuck down his throat. "That's right," he smiled at him, " easy does it."

He had no recollection of the dream only moments before, yet felt oddly restless. He lifted his hand, needing to stretch his fingers and looked down to see it but it wasn't in his line of sight. He tried again and realized he couldn't move it.

"Steve, I want you to focus on me right now," he said to him, knowing that at any second he was going to come to the staggering realization that either he could move, or he couldn't.

He was confused. The tube in his throat made a hissing noise that he could hear next to the bed but he couldn't for the life of him take in a deep breath on his own. He moved his mouth to say something but felt the tape from the incubation tube preventing any kind of movement there as well. He tried again to lift his hand and looked down his body but saw nothing, feeling a wave of panic begin to overtake him as his state of consciousness improved and he began to realize he couldn't move at all.

Matt recognized the rattled expression, as his voice became firm. "Steve! Look at me! Hey, look at me!" he snapped his fingers getting his attention. "What you're feeling right now, or lack of is caused from the swelling around your spine from the surgery. Everything went well and the bullet was extracted successfully."

He stared up at him, processing the words as he repeated them over and over in his head. _'Success. Swelling from the surgery that was a success.'_ He glanced down his body again and then back up at him, wanting to know the obvious.

"I know you have questions," Matt said to him. "I know you have a lot of questions. The one you want to know more than any is if you will fully recover?"

Steve blinked using that as the universal sign for 'yes'.

"I can't tell you that right now. I don't know yet. We talked about the swelling remember, and how it could be a couple of days post surgery before we knew anything. Well we are at that stage now. We have you hooked up to respirator because you don't have the motor function ability to breathe on your own yet. YET," he said adamantly.

Steve closed his eyes, fighting off the panic that was making him feel dizzy. He remembered the conversations and the pages of information he had read over that Matt had given him, but in the end he was sure that when he woke up he'd be pre-shooting victim Steve, not like this. He had strongly felt that having the operation was like taking a huge step forward in his recovery, but this current paralysis only felt like a gigantic fall backwards. He couldn't even breathe on his own.

"Steve," Matt said again, willing him to open is his eyes. "Don't you dare give up yet. This is only stage one of several, do you hear me?"

He opened his eyes back up but couldn't help but think of the worse case scenario, being trapped in the chair was one thing, but being trapped in a body that had no motor function whatsoever was frightening beyond words now that he was faced with the possibility.

Matt turned and walked briskly through the open door and down the ICU hallway picking up his pace as he did until he came out the doors and to the waiting room, motioning for Tyler and Danny.

"Hey, I need you." He spoke mainly to Tyler but wanted Danny along just incase she couldn't do the trick.

"What's wrong?" they both spoke simultaneously, following his long strides back down the corridor to Steve's room.

"He's awake," Matt said stopping two doors down from his room and turning to them. "Hold up. He's awake but he's pretty shaken up. I need you guys to help calm him down."

"What happened?" Danny asked.

"The swelling around his spine needs to go down before we can know for sure…"

"He can't move can he?" Tyler blurted out, putting her hand over her mouth as she choked out the words, "He can't move anything, can he?"

"I told you," Matt explained again, seeing the horrified look on her face, "we don't know the final outcome yet." He gave up on her already and turned to Danny. "He needs to know that. I feel like he's already giving up and that's not good."

"What do I say to him?" Danny asked, clearly shaken himself.

"I got this," Tyler replied, letting out a deep breath and quickly regaining her composure. "I got this."

She went past the two men and pointed at the room as she glanced back at Matt who nodded that he was in that one.

She came inside and had to stop for just a second to collect herself once again over the sight of the machines that were working to help him breathe and basically keep him alive. She'd seen this scenario thousands of times in her career but never had it been with someone whom she loved. It was quite a different perspective to say the least.

She slowly walked toward him seeing his eyes were closed, wondering if he had gone to sleep until she put a gentle hand on his forehead. His eyes came open and looked directly at her.

A thousand words passed between them in that second.

She could clearly see the fear in his eyes and his pleading for her to ease him down like she had done so many times before when he was faced with something that was beyond his scope of reasoning. She was a master at calming his conflicting inner voice that tormented his spirit, like now.

"Hey," she smiled, moving her hand over his hair, feeling the perspiration that had built up from the anxiety. "Matt said everything went really well. There is some swelling around the spine but that will go down in time, but we have to be patient, ok?"

He stared up at her, hearing her words and wanted so much to touch her, overcome once again with the fear that he'd never be able to ever again.

He closed his eyes as a single tear slid out the side and disappeared into his hair. She reached over on the table for a tissue and wiped it away.

"Open your eyes, right now," she demanded.

He did as he was told, recognizing the tone that would not be argued with.

"If you are giving up already then I might as well just reach over and unplug the machine and let you go. I can't believe we've come this far together and you're not even willing to give your body the chance to work it's magic. Believe it or not Steve, you are not some special case that's just going to wake up from this massive surgery and walk out of here on the first day. I know you think you're something special, but you're not." A smile slowly grew on her face as the tone softened. "What you are is extraordinary, and extraordinary people take it slow…and achieve miraculous outcomes."

How she did it he had no idea, but once again she had managed to shut the hysteria down. He could have been told those exact words from a thousand people, even his own doctor had expressed the same theory, but coming from her it was like the gospel according to Tyler and the truth in which he believed wholeheartedly. She had never lied to him before, so why should she start now.

"So," she said to him, "are we on the same path now?"

' _I love you,'_ he thought to himself and then blinked his answer to her.

"Good." She kissed his forehead twice. "I love you. Stage one complete."

She leaned back so she could see him and smiled brightly over the one that formed naturally on him, even with the breathing tube she could see it, but it was his eyes that told the real story. She had accomplished what she had set out to do, only God could heal the rest, it was now out of her hands.

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"Good morning," Matt said as he came in Steve's hospital room with a nurse on duty from the ICU.

Tyler looked up from the book she was reading to Steve and smiled at Matt. "Good morning. Good time for a break. I didn't like where this story was heading." She glanced down at Steve seeing his eyes sparkling with laughter over the part in which she was referring. One of the main characters was about to murder his girlfriend.

"How we doing today?" Matt asked coming into view so he could make eye contact with Steve. "You look cheerful, must be a good book."

Steve made a sound in his throat that was taken as laughter by both Tyler and Matt.

"Don't encourage him," Tyler chuckled, running her hand over his hair. "Being an ex Seal I'm sure he knows a thousand ways to harm a person without leaving a mark. That's why I'm always on his good side."

Steve looked up at her and winked.

Matt laughed, "Ok, I don't I want to know what that means so let's move on." He put a hand on Steve's shoulder as the nurse stood at his feet. "Were going to roll you on your side Steve so I can get a look at your incision. You know the routine."

Tyler helped them by standing on the other side of the bed and holding his arms in place as they carefully rolled him. She leaned over his body and looked at the incision as Matt removed the long, thick piece of gauze from the wound that was eight inches long down the center of his back.

She glanced up at Matt's face to get his first initial reaction, which she found encouraging as he laid the gauze back over the staples.

"Ok, looking good."

They carefully rolled him on his back as the nurse went about her duties of checking his IV bag and vital display that recorded them every thirty minutes.

"Everything looks good here," the nurse smiled down at Steve. "I see some heart fluctuation increase but that could have been from the book or," she smiled at Tyler, "the good company."

Tyler reached out and ran her hand over his hair, which was becoming a habit. At the moment it was the only place where she could touch him and he'd feel it. It was nurturing for both of them. He needed the physical contactand she couldn't be next to him without touching him.

Matt pulled the blanket down from his upper body and took out a small dull but pointy needle from his pocket and gently poked Steve in the chest, watching his face for any type of reaction over the prodding.

"Nothing here?" he asked him, moving up closer to his neck.

Steve blinked twice, telling him no.

"How about here?" Matt said, poking just below his collarbone.

Steve blinked twice again and looked over at Tyler who caught his eye, quickly replacing the concerned looked with a smile.

"It's only been four days," she said to him. "Right Dr. Kidder?"

"Right," he smiled down at Steve. "Spinal surgery is traumatic on the body. It's a waiting game."

Steve tried to read into his words for encouragement, wanting to ask so many questions. It was becoming frustrating not being able to talk with the breathing tube down his throat. Tyler was with him most of the day and Danny would come daily as well but for those brief times when he was alone it was hard not to think about the isolation of being trapped inside his body, unable to even call out if he needed assistance. He hated being alone.

"Ok, it looks like your vitals are all steady and your wound is healing nicely. No signs of infection so I think I'm going to cut down on the antibiotics for now." he motioned to the nurse, "I'll update his chart." He leaned over the bed producing a warm smile, "I'll see you later on before I go home, ok? Just relax and watch some football. Navy is playing tonight." He patted his shoulder and turned to leave, his smile fading as he did.

Tyler leaned over the bed with her hand on Steve's hair, "I was waiting for him to get here before I ran down for dinner. Can I get you anything? Nachos maybe for the big game?"

The familiar chuckle like sound came from his throat and she leaned over and kissed his forehead. "I love you. I'll be back in a couple of minutes."

She came out the door and looked in both directions, seeing Matt down the hall as she jogged after him. "Dr. Kidder," she called out.

Matt stopped before going in the next patient's room, motioning to the nurse to go in ahead of him. He had a feeling he knew what the conversation was going to be about and wanted to speak to Tyler alone.

"Can ask you something?" she said to him.

"Sure," he replied, producing a courteous smile for her.

"Truthfully, how do you think his recovery is coming along?"

"His wound is healing nicely," he said. "The rest is…" he paused, "like I said, it's a waiting game."

"Truthfully," she asked again, her tone expressing her desire for something more solid and not textbook. "I know you're not happy with the outcome. I've been around enough hospitals and heard enough 'doctor talk' to patients to know the difference."

He took her gently by the elbow and moved her to a more private area only a few feet away. He shifted his weight nervously from one leg to the next and then finally looked at her. "Truthfully, and this if off the record Tyler, for your ears only. Do not mention this to Steve in any way, shape or form."

She nodded her head in agreement, feeling her heart sink to her stomach.

"It's not progressing in the way that I was hoping. I was sure by now he'd at least have some feeling in his upper torso and be breathing on his own. I'm concerned." He shook his head frustrated over the situation more than he was letting on. Of all the operations he'd performed, this one was the one he wanted the most success for. "Everything went so well in surgery," he said as if speaking to himself, "better than normal. I was just so sure by now…" he stopped there, afraid he'd already given away too much in his frustration.

She felt her knees buckle just slightly but caught herself before showing any signs of weakness over hearing what she was dreading but felt inside was true. "I had a feeling…" she paused and turned her head toward Steve's room as tears filled her eyes.

"Hey," Matt said to her, "it's only been four days. I'm not giving up hope yet and neither should you." He felt for her, knowing she wanted it just as bad as he did, but the conversation and agreement he'd made with Steve pre-surgery was also weighing heavy on him, wishing now he wouldn't have promised such a scornful deed to him, but his arrogance in the whole procedure had overlooked his better judgment and he had made a promise he didn't want to fulfill, hoping he didn't have to.

She slowly walked back to his room, stopping just before the entrance and leaned back against the wall. She wished now she wouldn't have even asked. She hated lying and even though this lie was one that she felt strongly was necessary, she was frightened that Steve would see through her. He was always joking about how well she knew him but the truth be told; he was a master at calling her out as well.

Steve diverted his eyes toward the window as Tyler left the room. Matt wasn't fooling him, none of them were. He knew things were not going as planned.

The days before the operation, Matt had always tried to refrain from any kind of post surgery predictions, but the list of recovery symptoms he had revealed were not anywhere on the list of what he was experiencing now. The breathing tube was the biggest clue of all that he wasn't progressing. From his own research he knew it was a huge factor and one that was not in his favor at the moment. He should at least be breathing on his own.

He knew for a fact, regardless of Dr. Kidder's encouragement to be patient that the only thing that was healing on him was his wound where he had cut him open to remove the bullet. The nerves were not however healing. He was in actuality worse off than before the surgery. One of the worst-case scenarios was slowly but ever mindfully becoming a reality to him and it wasn't the one he would have chose if he had a choice, even if it meant he was alive, too him it was worse than death.

His thoughts would drift back to his days in the military, he would even dream about it, not sure why but maybe it was because it was the time in his life when he was the most physically active and healthy. He had dodged so many bullets back then, literally thousands, and now here he was, taken down by one only a few miles from his home with a one chance meeting with a car jacking. He didn't even have his vest on which he wore half the time on the job. The odds of him lying here now under these circumstances were mindboggling to him.

' _What am I going to do now?_ ' he thought to himself. He had been able to mentally overcome the original paralysis only because of Tyler, but under the present circumstances he was going to be on his own, hoping that Matt would follow through with his wishes that they had discussed, but even that major adjustment to his life was not the biggest concern for him at the moment, too caught up in the one he'd feared the most. ' _What am I going to do?_ ' he asked again, as if hoping the answer would just magically appear and all would be well, but there wasn't one on the horizon that had become dark and dreary once again, knowing full well the pain and fear that could accompany him where he was headed. He'd faced it before but this…this was on a whole new level which he couldn't even get his mind wrapped around, even leaving the hospital seemed impossible to him. He was 100% incapacitated but his mind was as sharp as ever. A new fear arose inside of him, one he'd never experienced before; claustrophobia. As if he were trapped, bound and gagged and at the complete mercy of everything and everyone around him.

The physical image of Poke came to mind next, filling him with a dread. He hadn't thought of him and his physical and mental bullying since the rehab place. At least he'd grown capable enough in the wheelchair to be able to defend himself if a situation like that should arise again, but not anymore. There wasn't a chance in hell he could do a fucking thing to prevent anyone from harming him. The idea of going to another rehab place startled him as well, but how could he fight it? He couldn't.

He looked toward the door and saw Tyler come back inside.

"Hi handsome," she smiled, leaning over the bed and kissing his forehead. "When you get out of here I'm going to make you that rice and chicken dinner that I cooked for you my first night at your house. Remember that? You pretended to hate it, but now it's your favorite."

He heard the words but was focused on her face as she went on about their first encounter. She was so beautiful and it pained him that he had failed her, wishing he could tell her how sorry he was. He had given everything he had to make it work but for some reason the forces of nature were working against them. ' _Maybe_ ,' he thought sadly, _'maybe there is someone else out there that she's supposed to be with.'_ He believed in fate and maybe it was Tyler's fate that was working against him.

He looked up at her as she fussed over his blankets and continued to reminisce about their first couple of weeks together and how they had overcome so many barriers by breaking them down together, using examples as she did. Reminding him of some of his most trying times and his mental strength that was amazingly stronger than any kind of physical barrier. He began to wonder if she weren't preparing him for the worst, perhaps she knew more about his current condition than she was letting on.

She folded the blanket down to his waist and smoothed it out, clearing away any imperfections, trying to keep herself calm under the circumstances that if this was as good as it was going to get, how was she going to get him through it? He'd eventually be set up with a tracheotomy so he could speak, but being completely incapacitated was going to be a challenge of such huge proportions that she had no idea how to even tell him let alone help him survive and move on with it. She felt sick to her stomach just thinking about it. They would be back to square one but this time she had no back up plan.

She met his eyes and smiled but didn't get the same reaction from him. Her heart took the brunt of the pain now, getting a very bad feeling that he knew exactly what she was thinking, it wouldn't be the first time.

She leaned over him, pushing on the sides of his pillow, "Are you comfortable?" She met his eyes again, waiting for the sign of a yes, but it never came. He didn't even blink as his gaze bore into her.

She had been a nurse long enough to know that look of 'dashed hopes'. In the past she'd always been able to soothe the patient with a kind word and then leave the room to continue her job, but this patient she couldn't walk away from.

She sat down on the edge of his bed and leaned over bracing her elbow on the other side of him so they were face to face.

"I can see you," she said to him. "I can see the man I fell in love with. I don't want you to worry about anything. I've got everything covered. If things take a turn in a direction that we hadn't planned on, then don't worry," she smiled, "you know me, my bedside manner has never let you down before." She waited for a reaction…and waited.

Her plastic smile slowly began to fade as his relentless stare challenged everything she said. He knew. How could she be so naïve' to think that he didn't realize the magnitude of what was happening to him?

She bent her head and rested it on his shoulder, "Please," she whispered to him, "please don't look at me like that. I love you so much and it scares me. I shouldn't ask anything from you right now, but I need that."

' _Go back to school Tyler,'_ he thought, _'that's what I need from you. Go back and forget all about me, please.'_

She lifted her head back up and was met with different eyes. They softened as he looked at her, soaking in the beauty that he would need to sustain him for a lifetime, having the privilege of knowing that at one time in his life he was loved by someone as perfect as her.

Tyler's smile returned, not by force but by a sheer natural reaction that could trigger it from just a simple glance from him. Even in this troublesome situation, he still had the power to make her feel weak in the knees. They were going to make it through this, one way or another, the thought of leaving him no matter the outcome was not even in her thought process.

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Danny came inside Steve's room and held a hand up in greeting to him.

He was on his side facing him as two nurses tended to his wound and then carefully rolled him back over on his back and checked his breathing tube.

"Hi Danny," the older one acknowledged him as the other went about her task of cleaning up the discarded wrappers and old bandage.

"How we doing today?" he asked them, catching Steve's eye for just a brief moment before he turned away.

"Good. His wound is healing nicely. Dr. Kidder will be by in a little while too." She gently patted Steve on the shoulder, "I'll be back in a while too to change your IV."

He blinked at her and she smiled at Danny as she passed him, but beyond the pleasant gesture he couldn't help but see the look of sympathy, wondering if it were more for him, or Steve. It had been five days and still nothing. The tension was growing by the minute for everyone and the charade of keeping up a good face was proving more and more difficult.

He came toward his bed and could see the weariness in his friend's eyes, not sure he could muster up another smile to cover the heartbreak over the situation.

"Hey, I have to tell you I'm having a really hard time keeping Kono and Chin away. They want to come see you."

Steve blinked hard twice, letting him know the answer was defiantly no.

"Fine, whatever," he sighed. "I stopped by the house and saw Tyler. The yard guy was there. He was trimming the bushes by the front window hacking the shit out of them so I had him stop. I think I might have pissed him off. You might need a new yard guy. But anyway, the grass looks good. I think he's been fertilizing it." He watched Steve's eyes divert to the TV as if bored with the discussion.

Danny rolled his eyes and walked over to the window, looking out at the courtyard that was a miniature Japanese garden. It was vacant of people at the moment. He hated the situation and hated even more having to come up with conversations on his way there just so he would have something to say. It was becoming obvious to Steve now as well, and the huge elephant in the room wasn't helping either. Kidder was dragging his feet on Steve's condition too as far as Danny was concerned, and he was about fed up with it.

The thought was still in his head when the door to the room opened and he came inside.

Danny turned and leaned back against the windowsill with his arms crossed, glaring at him from across the room. "Hey Doc. Looks like you got a fresh tan, been out surfing?"

Matt picked up on the sarcasm but refused to play along. "Nope." He came up to Steve's bed, bracing his hands on the metal railing that ran along the sides. "Hi Steve." He used his fingers tips to press his chest and the surrounding area. "Anything?"

He blinked twice, wanting to scream out at him to do something, tired of waiting and waiting for nothing.

"I have you scheduled for an MRI," Matt said. "The orderly will be here in a couple of minutes to take you down. It's a 3-D scan so it might take a little longer than normal. I apologize for that but I think it will give a us a clearer image of what we're dealing with."

The pleading in Steve's eyes was unmistakable. He wanted answers, but to Matt's dilemma, he didn't have any for him, hoping the MRI would give a clue into why he wasn't reacting positively to the surgery. The only theory he and his colleagues whom he'd shared questions and x-rays with was that Steve's body simply wasn't reproducing the Peripheral nerve cells needed for a successful outcome. There was no form of medication that could help the cause, only the bodies will. He didn't understand it, seeing it before in other patients that were far less capable candidates than Steve, yet his body was rejecting the procedure, as frustrating as it was for Steve it was just as frustrating to Matt.

"What if the MRI doesn't show you what you want to know?" Danny blurted out, "What then?"

Matt looked over at him but didn't have an answer, because there wasn't one.

"What?" Danny said angrily, "There is no back up plan? Nothing?! If you don't see a solution in the MRI then its 'hey sorry but I tried. See you later?!"

"It'll never be 'see you later'," Matt replied in the same threatening tone. "I'm Steve's doctor and I don't just roll over and give up!"

Danny gritted his teeth but kept his mouth shut, considering that Steve was listening to the whole thing.

Steve closed his eyes hearing the panic and blame in both of their voices. In his opinion they had both already given up, which diminished any kind of belief he was hanging on to. The MRI was his last bit of hope.

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Matt waited purposely until Danny had left the hospital before he went in to talk to Steve.

He stood outside the door of his room and ran his hands down his face, mentally preparing himself for the one on one with Steve. He'd had dozen of heartbreaking conversations with patients over the years and their families, but this one seemed more personal than the others. He had been so sure, wondering now and hoping that with his arrogance that he hadn't somehow talked Steve into going through with it in the first place? He had tried to be neutral but was so excided when he had come forward, maybe that doctor, patient friendship had grown too close. He just wanted this so bad for him.

"Just get on with it," he whispered to himself. "He already knows you failed anyway."

He came inside and closed the door behind him. As he came toward the bed he saw his eyes divert from the window to him.

"Hey Steve."  
 _'It's over,'_ he thought to himself, seeing but mostly hearing the bad news in his tone. If it were good news he was sure Matt wouldn't be able to contain his excitement. His head began to swirl as the reality of his existence finally closed the door on any kind of recovery. He took his chances and lost, now he had to pay the price for the risk and it wasn't going to be good in any way, shape or form. In his mind he was already half way to dead.

Matt saw his eyes dart away and toward the window again. He knew. He didn't even have to say a word, he already knew. He felt his body suddenly weaken over the distress in his patient who had become a friend. It was heartbreaking to say the least and probably the lowest point he'd ever felt in this profession that he had once loved so much, hating it now and second guessing his ability to perform successfully in the future.

"I'm sorry, Steve. I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened? I just…" he let his head fall as his emotions got the better of him, "I don't know."

Steve looked back over at him, not hearing disappointment but pure anguish. He didn't blame him. Matt had, as his doctor and friend pointed out the risks to him several times and even sent him home with information to think it over clearly. But he had ignored the leaflets, just wanting it so badly, not just for himself but for Tyler as well.

That sudden thought hit him and a new wave of fearful reality hit him, it was over with her. He'd never see her again, ever. He couldn't feel his chest or anything below the neck, but the pain from his heartbreak was real and close to being as devastating to him as the rest.

Matt looked up feeling like a coward for not facing him straight on, determined to do so for the rest of the conversation, knowing they had things to discuss and work out that had been set in motion before the operation even occurred. He somehow felt the worst was yet to come.

"I wish I had good news for you, but the MRI shows no changes in your condition. I don't have a text book reason to give to you except that…" he shook his head, "you're body is doing everything to heal on the outside but the swelling around the extraction area is not going down. I don't see any reproducing of the peripheral nerves that surround the spinal cavity. I see no changes from before the surgery in that area. I'm so sorry."

Steve began to feel sorry for him. There was no one to blame, yet he seemed to be taking it all on himself. If words could pass his lips at that second he'd remind him that it was he who had broached the subject of the operation, not him. He himself was to blame and no one else.

Matt fell silent for a minute before bringing up the subject he didn't want to talk about, but he'd promised Steve days before, not taking into consideration that he'd actually be faced with it.

"Listen Steve…" he hesitated hoping he'd changed his mind now that the circumstances were actually true to form. "About Tyler and what we discussed."

That got his attention and his eyes opened, staring at him as if pleading with him not to back down.

"Shit," he groaned. "You still want to go through with it, don't you?"

Steve blinked hard just once, stared at him for a few more seconds and then blinked again, silently telling him. 'Yes! Yes!'

"Are you sure? She could be an incredible asset…" he stopped midsentence as a vicious noise came from Steve's throat imitating a low growl. The look in his eyes spoke of his certainty. "Ok, ok," Matt reassured him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I hear you." His tone became less than enthused, "I'll make it happen today, as promised."

He watched Steve's expression relax as if relieved over that. He'd mark this day as one of the worst in his career of being a doctor.

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Tyler came down the corridor of the ICU toward Steve's room carrying a new mystery novel in hand to read to him. It had been on the New York Times bestseller list for weeks and was even looking forward to reading it as well after going over the summary of it.

She came to his room and turned the corner and stopped; her heart skipped at the sight of an empty bed.

She turned and ran down the hall to the nurse's station.

"What happened," she asked practically breathless, "where's Steve? Where is he?"

"Tyler," Matt said, standing behind her anticipating her arrival but not with any form of eagerness.

She turned her head at the familiar voice. "Dr. Kidder, Matt, where is Steve? He's not in that room anymore."

"I know," he replied, walking to her and taking her by the elbow, "Come with me Tyler, we need to talk."

She pulled away thinking the worst as her body began to tremble, "No! Tell me now! Is he…oh god," she whimpered.

"No," Matt quickly assured her, "he's fine, he's just been moved."

She put a hand over her heart trying to ease down the fear that had engulfed her. "Oh thank god." She looked up at him, "Moved? Moved where?"

He motioned to an ICU room nearby that was currently vacant of a patient, "Come with my Tyler, we need to talk."

She felt another form of stress begin to rise in her as she followed him, pressing the book tightly against her chest.

He waited at the door for her to enter and then closed it.

He put his hands on his hips as his head fell forward. He'd been rehearsing his lines for over an hour but at that second he couldn't recall the words to start off the conversation.

"Matt," she said, her voice barely audible, "what's going on?"

He looked up at her and uncomfortably ran his hand over his bearded stubble, "His condition isn't improving as you know and at the moment we don't anticipate any changes. As a result of that he requested another room."

"Where?"

He swallowed hard hating having to speak his next line.

"I can't tell you that Tyler. He's not taking visitors any longer except for Danny."

He watched as the stunning news plagued her with bewilderment and then all at once it came to her that he was moved because he didn't want to see her anymore. Matt felt his heart go out to her as tears began to fill her eyes.

"I'm sorry Tyler. He was very adamant about this before the surgery. I have a duty to my patient as his doctor…"

"Stop!" she cried out. "How can you say that? How can you let this happen? You know he needs me now more than ever!"

"It's not my decision, it's his. Believe me Tyler, I…" he stopped feeling he was on the verge of crossing that line by contradicting Steve's wishes. He hated that he had to stay neutral in this situation. If he was given a choice to choose a side, he'd be standing next to her, but he couldn't. "I'm sorry. You of all people know my obligation as a doctor to my patient. My hands are tied on this. I'm so sorry."

"Stop saying that! So what then…that's it?! I'm just cut off?! Go away, leave me be?!"

He went to say something to ease her but closed his mouth not sure what to say and worse off to say the wrong thing and make it worse. She was going to be belligerent and inconsolable for the time being, and as far as he was concerned she deserved the right to feel all the anger she was at the moment.

She turned away from him and began to pace the floor, "I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe he's doing this." She quickly whipped back around facing Matt, "I need to see him just for a second Matt, please? He's obviously distraught over his condition and I know why he's doing this, but just give me five minutes to talk to him."

"Tyler…"

"All I need is five minutes and…"

"Tyler!" he practically yelled, "I can't, not without his permission, and he won't give it. He won't. We talked about it before the surgery and…" he recalled the conversation and Steve's unwillingness to even discuss it, "it's done Tyler. He won't budge."

Her expression grew angry over the betrayal she was feeling, "Fine!" she spat, throwing the book in her hand to floor angrily, "Screw him and screw you too!" she yelled as her voice broke and she stormed out.

He stood staring across the room at nothing in particular, shaking his head, not at Tyler but at Steve's foolishness.


	25. Chapter 25

_**Author Note: Sorry the update is sooo late. Made it back from Hawaii in one piece with no help from Hurricane Lane…He cut my trip short by 2 days! Hate him! But still had a great time! No Five 0 sightings which was rare. They stopped production I heard the day before we left so they could prepare for the storm that never came! Oh well, next time. Aloha! And thanks for reading.**_

* * *

Tyler looked out the window of the 747 as it took off from Honolulu International Airport. She searched out the areas below that she felt the most intimate with, not sure when she would ever see them again, and then spotted the pink hospital on the hillside, staring at it as tears filled her eyes, watching it slowly disappear as they ascended into the sky.

She sat back in her seat and closed her eyes, wiping away the moisture as she did.

She pictured his house that she slowly took one last walk through, recalling so many memories from the relatively short time she had spent there. Some were hard to recall, some were good but most were wonderful, leaving her even more heartbroken over the thought that there wouldn't be an opportunity to ever produce more.

He had just shut her out, slammed the door in her face. She winced as she played back the conversation between she and Matt and the painful realization that Steve simply refused to see her anymore. It stung just as sharply now as it did at that moment barely twenty-four hours before.

Her emotions were raw and bleeding and she refused to leave without being heard, feeling just a small miniscule of closure over the letter she had left him, hoping he'd read it. She wrote it under duress and regretted now some of the harsh things she'd said, but at that moment she was feeling every bit of the betrayal that she penned out to him. She needed it for closure or so she thought, but didn't feel any different now than she did before she wrote it. Not sure this chapter of her life she was leaving behind would ever be fully resolved.

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Danny sat in one of the Adirondack chairs in Steve's backyard down by the water. He held the sealed envelope with Tyler's letter inside in his right hand as he tapped the edges of it on the arm of the chair, perplexed over what his next move was going to be with Steve.

He was right back were they had started as the year to date of the shooting neared, yet he felt all the progress and struggles they had accomplished since then were just gone as if none of it had even existed.

He looked at Steve's name written on the envelope and could only guess what was inside, hoping that whatever she had written in words would somehow miraculously change his partner's mind about sending her away. He himself hadn't even got a chance to say goodbye to her. He came straight here when he found out but she was already gone and the letter sitting on the coffee table was the only thing left behind by Tyler Hyde, although he glanced around the room and saw her everywhere. The lift to the upstairs had her experience and wisdom on it, the bath on the lanai was also her doing, all for the sake of her patient's comfort but he felt confident she had gone above and beyond for Steve.

How was he going to replace her?

He huffed and rolled his eyes over having to go through the process of interviewing nursing candidates again and potentially coming up with another Mark.

Tyler in his eyes was irreplaceable, not only for Steve's physical health but his mental and emotional one as well.

He tapped the letter harder on the chair, becoming irritated over the bad judgment call by his friend, knowing full well Steve was making a mistake but had he absolutely no control over it. He thought it selfish and cruel what he was doing to Tyler but in the same breath he knew he was doing it because he wouldn't be able to stand having her care for him in the state he was in. Post surgery quality of living was one thing, but this was a whole new ball game.

His emotions quickly got the better of him as he pictured his friend before the shooting. He hadn't done it in a long time and had even come to terms with the wheelchair seeing the success story first hand that had come out of a bad situation. He recalled the first time they had met all those years before and how much he hated him. Steve was everything any normal red-blooded American man wanted to be. He was smart, strong, capable, loyal and above all confident which only made him even better looking than what God had blessed him with.

"God I hated him," Danny chuckled as he wiped away the moisture from his eyes. "He always had to be right. And the SOB usually was. How he ended up being my best friend I'll never know," he chuckled again, yet the smile on his face slowly disappeared as his best friend's dilemma came back to him.

He leaned over running his hand through his hair, feeling nauseous. "What am I going to do? How am I going to get him through this alone?"

He sat up again as a fresh round of tears filled his eyes over his frustration and the unfairness of the whole situation. "It's unjust," he whispered bitterly. "He doesn't deserve this! He's one of the good ones. He risked his life and took a bullet to save that woman and this is how he's repaid?! Fuck!" he growled, his eyes narrowing as the anger inside of him built up, needing to hit something to release the pressure that was building.

He dropped the letter in his hand and stood up, stripping his shirt over his head and kicking his shoes off as he walked toward the water. He undid his belt and slipped out of his pants until he was wearing nothing but his boxer briefs as his feet hit the water leaving a trail of clothes behind him. He dove in and started swimming as fast as he could, taking his best friend's advice that a good swim in the ocean always set his head straight.

He pushed himself, not taking into consideration that he hated the ocean but just wanted to feel something, anything besides what he was feeling on that beach, even if it was the fear of the unknown deep water that had always frightened him since he was a kid. It was a more calm and controlled fear than he had for his friend at the moment.

He finally stopped and looked back toward the house, surprised at how far he had gone.

He treaded water for a few minutes staring at the house and the beach where he and Steve had enjoyed a beer or two after a strenuous case or even on a weekend, cooking up some steaks on the BBQ.

He slapped his hand in the water and yelled out a few choice cuss words before beginning the swim back which wasn't as vigorous as the one out, taking his time, hoping the clarity that Steve had talked so highly of would strike him, but as he touched the sandy ground beneath his feet he felt neither rejuvenated nor the slightest bit of relief.

He forwent the chair and sat down in the sand, breathing heavily as his head fell into his hands. "Help him," he said to know one in particular, but hoped that the spirit of something out there would hear his pleas, "please help me, help him."

He was glad he was alone because the frustration and anger came out as tears as he cried for his friend.

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Steve looked up at the ceiling of his room and then to the side toward the window. He had given up the view since moving to the new room, but there wasn't anything he wanted to look at anyway. There wasn't one thing in the world at the moment that he felt could make him happy except of course the use of his body, but that wasn't something to dwell on anymore, it was in the past and his future looked dark and ominous.

The TV played an old episode of _Friends_ , a show which he never particularly cared for, but he couldn't even change the channel or turn it down for that matter. He was stuck with whatever the current setting was in the room and had no choice but to accept it.

He was going to hate this new life. He was going to hate it even more without Tyler.

He closed his eyes and pictured a good day with her. They lay in his bed together as he held her while she rested her head on his shoulder. It was a good memory but bittersweet. Post surgery it would have brought him happiness but now it only made him feel sorry for himself, an emotion that carried with it anger, bitterness and solitude. It had always been foreign to him but was quickly becoming the norm.

After the shooting he had felt less like a man having no feeling below the waist, but now he barely felt human having no feeling below the neck.

His eyes darted to the side hearing the door open.

Dr. Kidder came inside forcing a somewhat acceptable grin for Steve's sake. He was glad Danny wasn't there.

"Hey," he said sitting on the edge of the bed so their line of sight was more focused. "We need to talk about a couple of things going forward."

Steve had a feeling he knew exactly what he wanted to discuss.

"I want to set you up with a Tracheotomy." He knew the word alone was frightening to anyone so he rambled off the pluses for the procedure. "It'll give you mobility and freedom from the stationary ventilator and will give you your voice back. Would you like that?" he smiled, assured he'd get a positive reaction from him, or at least a nod.

 _'A hole in my neck,'_ Steve thought miserably. _'Sure that would be great. It's what I've always wanted. It'll just add to the misery.'_

Mark let out a small sigh, not getting the reaction he was hoping for, but not really surprised by it either. "I thought I would schedule it for Friday," he told him.

Steve diverted his eyes elsewhere, not looking at anything in particular just not wanting to hear anymore. It was the first step in the process to convert his life into one that would be acceptable to the Dr. and everyone else, but to him it was the beginning of a prison sentence, feeling trapped as that fear of claustrophobia began to set in again. He missed her now more than ever, needing those words that she could miraculously put forth that could talk him down from the ledge.

Mark stood up and reached over pushing a button on the heart monitor to get the latest reading. It had a few more fluctuations here and there which was normal in his opinion, attributing it to the stress level of Steve's situation. The absence of Tyler was already showing. The room had a dreary, depressing feeling to it. She somehow had always brought some sort of laughter in moments like this.

"I'll be back later on this afternoon," he said to him with a gentle pat on the shoulder before he left. What he really wanted to say was that he thought him a fool for sending Tyler away, but it wasn't his place, hoping that Danny would step up and show him the error of his ways.

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Danny stood outside of Steve's room, envelope in hand. He stared at the closed door feeling torn between the want of going inside and seeing his friend, and the other half wanting to run down the hallway and out the door, afraid to face the uncertain future that plagued them both.

He could leave if he wanted to, there would be nothing stopping him; they were only work partners, they weren't related by blood. He really had no obligation to be there.

He smiled over that as he went inside the room.

"Ohana," he mumbled as he went in, taking into consideration that blood had nothing to do with it. The task at hand was going to be difficult, twice fold compared to what he had to deal with just months before, but the fact that they weren't related by blood really had nothing to do with why he was there. They had come to depend on each other in ways that he never had with another person before, not even Rachel. He trusted Steve with his life and would stand in the way of a speeding car if he told him that it was safe. He trusted him that much, and he also knew the feelings were the same from Steve's point of view.

His smile faded as he neared the bed, finding it difficult to continue to pretend that everything was going to be all right. It was a dreary situation; Steve knew it as well as he did. Why play that game anymore, it was pointless. He thought of Mary just then, considering the idea of going behind Steve's back and calling her, regardless of their pre surgery argument not to if the results became what they had. He could understand Steve's reasoning, knowing she would rearrange her life and move back to the islands to care for him even though she didn't want to. He didn't want that, not in the least, but it was becoming difficult every day that went by not to call her. It was incredibly unfair to her as well he thought, to keep her in the dark of what was happening.

But that subject would be for another day; today he had another agenda that he wasn't going to let Steve shy away from.

He came up to the bed as they made eye contact. Danny reached across his body and muted the TV that was playing the early evening news. He held up the envelope in front of Steve that showed his name written in Tyler's handwriting.

"She left this for you," he said as he ran his index finger down the sealed end and opened it. "I found it on the kitchen table."

He looked back down at him as he took out the folded piece of paper. "Open your eyes and read it," Danny demanded as he shook it out and held it up in front of him.

Steve's head began to tingle and swirl over the idea of reading something so personal from her. It would be her last words to him and he wasn't sure he could take it, knowing her and knowing her temper and the fact that he had just shut her out, he knew the words were not going to be gentle.

"Hey!" Danny said sternly, shaking the paper in his hand and held up before Steve's eyes, "Read it! You owe her the last word!"

He slowly opened his eyes and was met by the familiar handwriting neatly displayed before him but some was also written in hast, that he could tell by the words scratched out and replaced by a second less impulsive thought by her.

' _Steve'_ it began…not _Dear Steve_ or _Hello Steve,_ but just his name, hearing her voice as he read it, the venom in it taking place of the sweet tone that used to speak love and encouragement to him.

' _I've been sitting here at the kitchen table where we shared countless dinners and conversations, just staring off into an empty space trying with all my might to understand why. I tried to put myself in your shoes and reason with the…'_ she had scratched out several words before continuing on, _'turmoil that you must be feeling, knowing how much you hate being taken care of in the way that you need now. It wasn't hard to feel the loneliness and isolation that you must feel because I'm feeling it now by this_ _hateful_ _decision that you made to cut me loose from your life.'_ He stared at the word 'hateful' that had a single line drawn through it. She changed her mind about expressing it but wanted him to see it, unlike the others scratched out that were unreadable.

Danny watched the painful expression in his eyes, not knowing what he was reading, but knew it couldn't be good.

 _'My only reasonable explanation is that you feel an obligation to not burden me with a life that would be spent changing catheters, feeding you, dressing you, bathing you, monitoring your health. BUT did you even take into consideration what else you took away from me? YOU! YOU! You_ _stupid_ _fool!'_

The physical writing became more aggressive not just in her words but by the ragged display and boldness of the words, picturing her hand forcibly scribbling out the words as they crossed her mind. It broke his heart wondering if perhaps she were crying as she wrote it.

' _How dare you! I gave my life to you and I gave you life when you felt there was nothing! I gave you my life! I let myself feel things that I never had before and for what? Nothing! Nothing, but to be pushed aside like I never meant anything to you. I can only come to the conclusion that I never meant to you what you meant to me. It was all a lie!'_

He closed his eyes not wanting to read anymore, feeling an array of emotions wash over him as he fought not to cry in front of Danny.

"Finish it," Danny said dryly, knowing it was tearing him up inside but didn't care. Tyler deserved the last word.

He opened his eyes back up and was met by the sight of the letter that would forever be etched in his mind. He wasn't sure which was worse, sending her away, or reading this now, they were both incredibly painful to him, no one would ever know just how much.

' _I hate you for this! I hate that I never got a chance to fight for something that I believed so strongly in. You told me you loved me and I felt it, but I don't feel it now. All I feel is sadness and betrayal. You betrayed me the same way my father betrayed my mother…'_

Danny saw his eyes well up with tears and looked away from the disheartening sight but continued to hold the letter in front of him.

She paused after that last sentence and continued a few lines down as if letting him know she had, but the rest of the page was distorted in his vision, forcing him to blink and let the built up moisture run out and down the sides of his temple before he could continue on.

' _I had to walk away from this letter,'_ she continued. _'I barely know what I wrote above and I won't re-read it or make any corrections. It's what I was feeling and I won't make excuses or take back any of it. I spent the time walking around the house and packing my things, trying to recall good times. It was easy. We had lots of them. All I feel now in this place is sadness, knowing I'll never spend another day of laughter here. I'm being pushed away from the only two places I ever really could call home. I'm certain I'll never be able to return to Hawaii, at least not for a long, long time. You took that from me too._

' _I'm done now. I think I've said my peace. I won't call or write you ever again. I know for a long time that I'll feel this anger and pain that I am now, but I also know that in time it'll fade and I'll remember how good I had it at one time in my life._

 _I wish you nothing but the best in life Steve, I have to…because I love you, and no matter what happens or who I end up with, I always will._

He felt an instant hollowed space in his life where she had once been when he finished the last words. It was officially over now and it hurt twice fold, wishing she would have just ended it with telling him she hated him rather than she loved him.

He felt certain that he would forever be cursed by the pain that he caused the both of them. His would be his punishment, but hers would always be a deep regret, knowing it was done only because his love for her outweighed any of his needs for her. She was free now to live the life he felt she deserved.

He looked up at Danny and wished he could speak because the only thing he had left was a desperate request.

' _Kill me. Please, just let it end now and kill me.'_

Danny felt a cold shiver run down his back as he lowered the paper in his hand.


	26. Chapter 26

The rain on the hospital room window pounded against the glass. The small area in the right corner of the frame whistled where the wind was blowing in from the cracked seal.

Steve lay awake in the dark listening to the sounds in the room that had awoken him. As well as the storm brewing outside, the humming of the machine that was keeping him alive was also evident. A reckless noise that he had become accustom to during the day when the hospital seemed noisier, but in the middle of the night it was just a constant reminder of what a nuisance his life had become.

He hated being awoken when there was nothing to occupy his mind except the annoying sound of the life support and his thoughts of Tyler.

It had only been four days but it already felt like years as his dreary life dragged on with nothing, absolutely nothing to look forward to.

In the pre surgery mornings of his home, she was always up first, cooking his breakfast before he even blinked his eyes for the first time. It's what he used to look forward to the most, seeing her beautiful, always smiling face first thing. He could never figure out how she managed to slip out of bed without him knowing, especially on those nights when she would practically sleep on him rather than closely next to him. She never ceased to amaze him, day after day.

He closed his eyes and tried to think of something else, clearing his mind of her.

' _Afghanistan_ ,' he thought, recalling a particular mission he had been on in which he was pinned down in a house with two other Seals. The room was riddled with bullets that sprayed in every direction hitting everything, except miraculously them. When it stopped they all lifted their heads from the shielding position and looked at each other, assured at least one if not both of their comrades would be dead, but smiles slowly erupted on their faces knowing each had made it through unscathed.

He pictured the two of them whom he'd kept in contact with, both married with kids, living on the mainland. Their lives were so different from his, even more so now, wondering what they would think if they saw him like this? Shame perhaps, guilt, sorrowful, none of which he would want to see on their faces or hear in their voices. He wouldn't contact them ever again, feeling a wave of regret over that. Many people would see him that way now, helpless. It was bad enough when it was just the wheelchair, recalling the night of the awards ceremony and how nervous he was to go inside and face people for the first time.

With that thought in mind Tyler's image instantly appeared before him from that night. He wouldn't have made it through without her. He wouldn't have made it through many of nights without her.

' _Stop!'_ he scolded himself, ' _think of something else, not her. You have to program yourself not to think of her anymore. She's gone. She's gone.'_

Life. It was the next logical think to think of, knowing going forward she would not be a part of it so it would be a reasonable thing to contemplate without Tyler Hyde coming into his thoughts.

He pictured his home and the preparations that would have to be installed to accommodate his new existence. He mentally walked through each room of his house and tried to find one that would not accommodate him, especially now, but there wasn't one; Tyler had made sure of it. She had thought of everything, even the portable shower, which next to the lift was by far his favorite addition. His thoughts drifted back to the first time using it and how skeptical and angry he was at her for even being there, until she got her hands on him. She was gifted in so many ways, missing that womanly touch that could send his heart racing out of control.

' _Damn it,'_ he groaned, realizing after a few seconds that he was fantasizing about her once again.

It was useless; she was there, she was everywhere. He would never get her out of his head.

The wind picked up and so did the whistling through the window crack. It reminded him of a night they lay in bed together with the lanai doors open as a storm came across the water. They were both covered with a light mist of sweat from making love in their own covert way and the breeze felt good, but it was Tyler's description of it being a magical moment that he most remembered. It wasn't the phrase that entertained him so much as the way it made him feel. She always had a way with words.

It was a good memory.

He must have drifted back to sleep thinking of that night because when he opened his eyes it was light out and the nurse was attending him. Even in her absence he thought amused, she soothed him.

He couldn't wipe her from his memory and trying to avoid thoughts of her was like trying to elude his own existence. He was there in that room, hooked up to that machine, about to go forth in a life that he had no expectations for only because he loved her and wanted the best for her. It was also the reason she was no longer in his life. How could he ever forget that?

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Danny set the folder down on Steve's stomach and flipped it open.

"We need to talk about some stuff. I'd prefer to discuss it now before you have your procedure this afternoon and can potentially argue with me." He smiled down at him, "Might be my only chance to get the last word in."

Steve ignored the joke, knowing the procedure he was speaking of was the tracheotomy. It was at two o'clock. He'd be able to speak again but nothing else would ever be the same. He wasn't even sure what voice would actually come out of him, assured he wouldn't recognize that new part of him either.

"A nurse," Danny began, holding up a form. "I have three candidates from the rehab center where we hired Tyler from. Two males, Mark not being one of them," he added, not bothering to look for a smile from Steve, knowing he was already in a pissy mood, "and one female. Do you have a preference or should we just interview all three and see what they have to offer?"

Steve rolled his eyes in an I could care less sort of way at the thought of going through this process again and worse yet, having a stranger taking care of him the way Tyler used to.

"Ok," Danny sighed, "I take that as an I don't give a shit, so we'll interview all three then."

Steve looked away from him, not caring anyway. No one would ever be able to take care of him like Tyler had. Her passion and devotion came from love which he'd never find again, so what difference did it make anymore who cared for him. It would be like having a robot as a nurse. Danny was right; he didn't give a shit.

He glanced at the clock and counted forward two hours, knowing she'd be in Chemistry class about now, hoping that she would fall hard into her studies and forget all about him.

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Tyler dragged herself out of bed and answered the pounding on her dorm room door.

She grabbed a black hair tie sitting on the desk and did her best to reel in the mess on top of her head.

She opened the door and barely had time to react when Jason and his sister Bre came pushing in the room.

"Hey Tyler, what's going on?" Jason said to her as Breanne went straight for the small dresser in the corner of the room.

"We're going out for beers," Bre said, opening the top drawer and finding what she was looking for. She pulled out a T-shirt and tossed it over to Tyler, hitting her in the chest. "Put this on." She opened up the next drawer and did the same thing with a pair of black Capri yoga pants. "These too."

"You guys, I don't feel like…"

"We aren't asking," Jason replied, "we're telling you. We are going out for drinks." He looked her up and down. "And food. When was the last time you ate?"

Tyler shrugged off the question, not able to give a definite answer because she didn't know. The four days since she'd been back had been like a blur.

"I don't know exactly what happened to you in Hawaii," Bre began, "and it may be none of our business, but you have not left this room that I know of since you got back. So whatever happened must have been awful, but you need to get out and see the light of day." Her face suddenly turned horrified, "Steve didn't die or anything like that, did he?"

Tyler bent over and picked up the shirt Bre had tossed her off the floor, "No, but I could certainly kill him for what he did to me."

The two siblings looked at each other, assuming it was either infidelity or he just plain dumped her.

"Drinks are on me," Jason said. "If you want to talk about it, ok. If not…ok."

Tyler shrugged and motioned for him to leave the room so she could change, not having the energy to argue of not going out, plus the mention of food made her stomach growl.

Bre guided him out the door and closed it behind him. She turned to Tyler as she slipped the shirt off she had on and replaced it with the clean one. "So," she began, "I know we have only known each other a short time, but seriously, if you need to talk about what happened, I'm a good listener."

Tyler let out a long sigh, "It's complicated," she said, feeling the impact of it once again just over the thought of talking about it. "You have no idea."

"Well," Bre said, "we'll have a couple of drinks and un-complicate it."

Tyler smiled at her, deciding it was time to get out of that room and on with her life. Maybe this is just what she needed to break out of the depression and heartbreak that she was feeling.

They sat at a corner table of one of the local establishments close to the football stadium frequented by students.

"Wow," Jason said as he sat back in the booth, shaking his head over the story of Tyler and Steve. "That's probably the most tragic story I've ever heard."

"It's heartbreaking, " Bre added, wiping her eyes with a napkin. "No wonder you have been so upset." She reached across the table and put her hand over Tyler's, "I'm so sorry."

"I'm so angry and hurt that I want to hate him," Tyler replied as her shoulders slouched, "but I can't."

"I think I would have done the same thing," Jason blurted out. "I actually admire his courage and the noble act of putting you first. He must really love you."

The comment was sweet but just made her feel all the more saddened by the event. She missed him terribly. "I would have stayed," she admitted, "not out of loyalty, but because I loved…" she corrected herself, "because I love him too. Very much," her voice trailed off as a good memory of the two of them cluttered her thoughts.

Jason looked at his sister sheepishly, "We need a shot of tequila."

"Absolutely," Bre agreed, rising from the booth and going to the bar.

As she got up a friend of Jason's came up to the table.

"Hey Bud what's up?"

"Hey Tuck," Jason replied with a grin, reaching across the table and giving him a fist bump.

Tucker turned to Tyler holding his hand out. "Tucker Trost, nice to meet you."

Tyler forced a pleasant smile as she looked up at him, startled over his good looking appearance that reminded her instantly of another man with dark hair, a deep tanned face with bearded stubble and dark blue eyes. She held her hand up to him as he shook it.

"This is Tyler," Jason spoke for her.

"How you doing?" he said casually.

"Hi," she said, quickly taking her hand back and looking away from him. It hurt to look at him, yet at the same time she had a funny feeling in her gut that kind of tickled.

"My buddy just ditched me for some theatre major chic," he chuckled.

Jason motioned to the seat next to Tyler, "Have a seat. Bre is here getting shots at the bar."

Tucker slid in next to Tyler as she moved over, giving Jason an annoying glare that went unnoticed as the two men began a conversation about Jason's upcoming soccer game. She picked up her phone and checked her messages, something that had become a habit since leaving the island, hoping by some miracle that Steve would call or text her and tell her to come home, that he'd made a huge mistake. But just like the other hundreds of times she had hoped for and was then disappointed, her phone was void of any communication from him. She slammed it down on the table as the three drinks in her began to surface and her frustration mounted.

"Whoa," Tucker chuckled, as both men turned their attention to her. "Is social media getting you down?"

Tyler looked over at him with a disgusted look, "I don't do social media."

"Ok," he said startled over her outburst, "you and the other 1% of people in the world who don't."

"Not everyone walks around with their phones attached to their hands."

She had unknowingly and by that frustrating habit of checking on Steve at that second picked up her phone and was holding it.

Tucker looked from her to her hand and then back at her, "Oh really?"

She looked down and dropped it on the table. "I'm expecting a call."

"Really?" Jason jumped in, "Are you really expecting that call?" He spoke to her in a tough love tone that he should have said to another guy, not a heartbroken woman, realizing his mistake.

She felt a wave of dread wash over her as the three drinks switched gears and were now playing on her unstable emotions. At that very second Bre showed up with the three shots of tequila, setting them down on the table.

"Hey Tuck, what's up?" Bre said to him. "Sorry I didn't see you sitting here or I would have got you one."

"No worries, I'm good. I got practice tomorrow morning."

 _'He's never going to call me,'_ Tyler thought sadly, knowing of Steve's stubbornness, feeling that pain in her chest that just seemed to be getting worse and worse as time went by. She missed him terribly and the horrible realization that deep down she knew that he loved her as much as she did him, yet the fact that he was completely unattainable was hard to comprehend.

She glanced over and saw the shots and just wanted to stifle the pain anyway she could.

The three others at the table watched in amusement as she reached across Tucker without warning and downed one of the shots, but they laughed in astonishment as she did the same with the other two, taking a long drink of her beer to suppress the bad taste.

"Holy shit," Tucker laughed. "Feel better now?"

Tyler ignored the comment and sat back in the booth, feeling a wave of nausea that quickly passed as the alcohol slowly but surely began to make its mark on her.

"I'm glad we ate first," Bre huffed as she picked up the empty shot glasses, "be right back with round two. None for you!" she said to Tyler, knowing she wasn't a big drinker and also hoping she could handle what she just took down.

The two men stared at her in different ways, Jason with sympathy and Tucker in amusement. He himself wasn't much of a drinker and was assured he'd be puking within minutes of doing what she just did. Besides, he'd seen his dad do it most everyday since he could remember, until it finally killed him.

"Bad day?" he said to her.

"Bad day, bad month, bad year, bad life!" she blurted out.

"Wow, that's some serious negativity. You really think alcohol is going to cure it?"

She looked over at him as if he'd just transformed into a huge bug that she'd like to squish. "Who are you? And who are you to tell me what I should do? You don't even know me."

"You know alcohol is a depressant. The more you drink the more depressed you get."

She then glanced over at Jason with a look as if asking him the same question, who is this guy?

"Big game this weekend," Jason said to him, wanting to get him off the subject of Tyler.

Tucker heard him but had his attention on Tyler. There was something about her that intrigued him. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about that, but she was feisty and even more so, she had no idea who he was which pleased him beyond words. Most women flaunted over him only because he was the starting quarterback for the football team with promises of going pro. He could almost see the dollar signs in their eyes as they flirted with him, but no one ever asked about him off the field. He would bet his athletic career that not one of them new his major; nor did they ever bother to ask.

Tyler stared back at him as the ritual almost turned into a staring contest.

"What?" she finally said, feeling the shots of tequila getting the better of her now as her vision began to form two of him as she tried to blink it away.

"You ok?" he halfheartedly laughed. "You're kinda swaying."

"Oh my god, you are so annoying!" Tyler huffed, turning her body straight ahead so she wouldn't have to look at him.

He slid a glass of water that was sitting in front of him over to her, not able to stop the torment. She was just so incredibly spirited that it had him smitten. "Drink this or you'll regret it later on."

She glanced over at him, "Maybe if I dump it on you, you'll go away."

He looked over at Jason as they both laughed.

"You better be careful Tuck," Jason said. "She'll do it."

"No she won't," he smiled at her almost daring her to do it.

"Do you even go to school here?" Tyler asked him. "I can't beweave," she slightly slurred, "that you could possibly keep up in any of the classes here."

"I'm a chemistry major," Tucker announced proudly.

"Oh great," Tyler snickered, "you'll probably blow us all up."

That got another laugh out of him. "What's your major, smarty pants?"

"Medicine," she replied arrogantly, pushing him on the arm to let him know she had to get up. "Excuse me."

"Wow, a future doctor," Tucker said impressed as he slid out of the booth. He held his hand out to her for assistance, which she declined.

"I'm going to the bathroom," she announced, "hopefully you'll be gone by the time I get back."

Tucker smiled brightly and then quickly reached out and caught her by the arm as she swayed while trying to grab the top of the booth to steady herself.

"I got it," she argued, mildly tugging her arm back away from his grip.

"Good luck," he grinned as he watched her walk through the crowd, stopping once to find her bearings and then turned toward the direction of the bathrooms. He sat back down in the booth with a wide grin. "I like her! Do you know if she's seeing anyone?" he asked Jason.

"She's already irritated by you," he laughed. "And besides, she recently had a bad break up," Jason told him.

"His doing or hers?"

"It wasn't mutual, so I wouldn't push it." He left it at that, not wanting to reveal Tyler's personal feelings or story to him.

"She was dumped then?" he asked, surprised over that. He glanced around the side of the booth, hoping to catch another glimpse of her. "Maybe she just needs to move on."

Tyler closed the door to the stall and used her hands to brace herself on the sidewalls, feeling sick to her stomach, wishing now she wouldn't have done those shots. The memory of coming home and finding Steve drunk and passed out in his wheelchair suddenly flashed before her. It was the same night that horrible woman had dismissed him, but it was also the same night that she had sat up with him and just held his hand. It was the beginning of something special between them.

She opened her eyes as the relentless tears filled them over her loss. It was hurting now more than ever, realizing that irritating guy out there was right; the tequila was just making her more depressed. She took in a couple of deep breaths to relax her stomach wanting to just go back to her dorm and sleep it off.

She came out to an empty bathroom, which she was thankful for, going to the sink. She splashed some cool water on her face and looked in the mirror trying to focus as she blinked several times.

She steadied herself before exiting with a plan to return to the table, grab her phone and get out. She appreciated Bre and Jason's attempt to cheer her up but she didn't want to be cheered up, she was just too miserable for now, it was hopeless.

She made her way back to the table and saw Bre still at the bar talking to a couple of people. As she neared the booth she saw Tucker's leg sticking out, frowning over the fact that he was still there.

"Hey," Jason said as she approached, "I got you a diet coke."

Tucker looked over his shoulder seeing her and went to stand up to let her in but she put a hand on his shoulder, preventing it.

"Don't bother," she said, reaching across the table for her phone. "I don't feel well. I'm going to take off." Her attention directed toward Jason. "Thanks for dinner. I'll see you in class tomorrow."

Both men heard a slight slur to her words but it was Tucker who spoke up first.

"Hey, you should sit down for a while. Drink the coke and sober up just a bit before you go."

"Yea," Jason said, "let me get the check and we'll walk you back." He slid out of the booth, "Give me two minutes." He went towards the bar where his sister was.

"I'm fine. I just want to go," she replied but Jason was already out of earshot.

"Going back to your room and crawling under the covers isn't going to make this guy disappear," Tucker said to her. "I heard you just had a bad break up. They are never easy and sometimes it's good to vent a little. You know, get your frustrations off your chest." He respected women but honestly knew little about them in his twenty-two years, but what he had experienced up to date with heartbroken ones was that they loved to trash their ex, assuming she would too. He assumed wrong.

"He was probably a douchebag anyway with little or no respect for you, or anyone else for that matter." He thought he was getting an advantage by being on her side but it only backfired. "You'll probably wake up tomorrow and be glad you're rid of him. He deserves to be alone the rest of his life and probably will be," he chuckled.

That last sentence although innocent in Tucker's defense hit a nerve with her. It was one of the countless items on her list of things that she agonized over with Steve, that he probably would be alone, not that he deserved it at all, but because he wasn't selfish and respected other peoples feelings over his own.

"Who do you think you are," Tyler growled as she turned on him, anger replacing the tears in her eyes, "talking about him like that, about us, as if you know our story?" She watched his face turn to dread, realizing his mistake as she continued her rant, glad for his shame. "You don't even know him. He's more of a man than you could ever hope to be. Steve put his life on the line countless times to save others, and paid the price for it." Tears of frustration but mainly over her love for him began to fill her eyes again. She could be angry with Steve all she wanted, but God help the person who spoke ill of him. She wouldn't have it, not now, not ever. "Don't you ever speak about him as if you know shit, because you don't!"

She turned to leave and stumbled through her tears into another person as the bar began to fill up with patrons, making it difficult to get out. She searched for the door suddenly feeling overwhelmed with so many different emotions that it was making her dizzy. She couldn't catch her breath amongst the crowded room that began to spin from not only the alcohol floating through her system but also from the grief that plagued her. She loved him beyond words and he loved her too, that was the hardest part to overcome.

She felt her dinner begin to surface as a wave of panic swept over her, needing to find the door so she didn't throw up right there. She was at a loss as the stuffiness of the room began to overtake her, feeling now she was going to pass out as well.

Tucker wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her toward him, practically lifting her off the ground as he moved her toward the entrance. He'd seen enough drunk women in his four years of college to know when one had gone too far.

He ignored a couple of hoots and calls from friends, teasing him over her condition as he carried her out, pushing through the front door and going straight for an alley on the side, hoping they made it in time and she wouldn't puke on him.

He held on to her hips from behind as she leaned over, bracing her hands on the wall of the building and threw up on it.

She felt a hand wrap around her hair and hold it up, wanting to protest his help but another wave of nausea hit her as the second round came flying out.

He held steady with her for as long as she needed until she finally stood up but continued to sway under the circumstances.

"You ok," he asked gently with a hint of sympathy in his voice.

She didn't respond but nodded needing the stable structure of the building to steady herself, but found it instead on him as he put his arm around her waist once again, holding her up.

"It's ok," he said assumingly, "I got ya. Just take a minute and breathe. No rush."

She closed her eyes letting her stomach settle. The caressing of his hand up and down her arm felt good, relaxing her even more, reminding her of Steve when he would hold her.

Tucker squeezed her a little tighter as she began to cry, feeling guilty that maybe some of it had to do with him and his stupid comments. It didn't seem like a typical break up anymore.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to her. "I shouldn't have said those things to you about him."

His voice was so sincere that it caught her attention. She sniffed and wiped her eyes not feeling the embarrassment and humiliation that she should have. She looked up at him, seeing the expression that mirrored the voice. "Thank you for getting me out of there," she chuckled slightly. "Just in time too."

He moved a piece of hair from her face that had attached itself to a bead of sweat, finding her even more attractive in this vulnerable stage. "Where do you live? I'll walk you home."

She began to point toward the street that led to her dorm when both Jason and Bre came past the alley and then saw the two of them.

"Tyler!" Bre shouted running over to her. "Are you ok?"

"I feel better now." She rolled her eyes, "I'm sorry for running out like that but I had to." She looked up at Tucker sheepishly. "He led the way, thank god."

"When I saw you do those shots," Jason laughed, "I don't know…you're not a drinker and I had a feeling that wasn't going to go off well."

She nodded, feeling nauseated again, as well as completely exhausted. "I just want to go home," she announced.

"Come on," Bre said, taking her hand and leading her out of the alley.

Tucker watched as they walked away, a little disappointed that it wasn't he who was helping her home.

"Sorry man," Jason said as they trailed behind them. "Thanks for getting her out in time."

"No big deal," he replied. He turned to his friend, "Do you think she'll still remember me in the morning?" he asked hopeful.

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Danny got up from the chair in Steve's room and went for the bathroom, glancing over at the bed and seeing him asleep, glad for it. It had been a particularly harsh morning discussing his future that looked bleak no matter how hard he tried to see or pretend otherwise, and now with the tracheotomy procedure that was scheduled in a couple of hours, he was glad that Steve was able to have some peace in a nap.

He was going to leave at one point but decided to stay, just incase he needed him, so he planted himself in a chair and dosed off a couple of times as well.

 _Steve stood on top of the cliff just before the edge and looked out on the vast ocean and the lush green valley that ran down below his feet and then up the other side all the way to the tallest peak opposite his. It was stunning to say the least. He held his arms out wide and breathed in the salty air that filled him with a sense of pride over the climb. He was strong. He was resilient. He was free from the perils of life._

 _He turned around seeing Tyler standing there smiling at him._ His body even in sleep reacted to the sight of her, coming alive as his heart rate on the monitor began to increase.

 _He motioned for her to come closer but as she did he noticed for the first time the wheelchair as she pushed it toward him over the rocky terrain._

 _His heart rate soared again only for a different reason as he took a step backward to get away from object that he wanted no part of._

 _He took another step feeling the edge of the cliff at his heels._

 _A split second later he felt the sensation of falling. His arms reached out for something to grab and hold on to but it was too late._

He heard his name as his eyes flew open from the dream just before landing at the bottom of the cliff, seeing Danny hovering over him with a look of utter shock and disbelief, calling his name over and over.

"Steve!" he said frantically, his eyes wide and shocked, yet he held a brilliant smile on his face as he tried to get his attention. "Wake up!" he shouted again, his hand over top of Steve's which was miraculously grasping the steel railing of his bed with a strong grip that Danny could not break free.

He blinked a couple of times as he came out of the slumber. His hand came loose from the bed railing and Danny took a hold of it in his.

"Squeeze my hand?!" he frantically ordered. "Do it now!" He held up both of theirs in front of him.

Steve looked at him confused and then at the grip he had on his hand, it was too tight hurting the muscles that had become stiff from lack of use, but he felt it! He had feeling in his hand.

 _'Oh my God,'_ he thought paralyzed from the shock of it himself. He stared at his hand as his mind told him to squeeze, seeing his fingers slowly wrap around Danny's hand and squeeze it ever so gently with the little strength he had left at the moment.

"You did it!" Danny cheered as tears sprang to life in his eyes. He reached for his other hand and grabbed it, careful not to disturb the IV inserted in the back of it. "Squeeze your left."

He did and got the same delighted reaction from Danny.

Steve put his right hand on his chest and began to poke and feel himself getting the sensation on his fingertips as well as on his body.

Danny watched as his hands prodded his body and then all at once froze.

Steve reached his right hand out and grasped Danny's bicep. At the same time he looked down his body at the foot of the bed and watched with absolute joy the movement from under the covers as he wiggled his toes.

Danny followed his line of sight and saw the same thing Steve did. He put his hand over top of the one gripping his arm, "Oh my god Steve," he whispered, barely able to get the words past his lips from the wave of emotions that practically knocked him over.

He looked back at his friend who met his eyes with the same overflowing of tears that had them both crying openly over the jubilation of what seemed to be a full recovery.

Danny leaned over the bed and hugged him the best he could trying to avoid the ventilator tube. "I can't believe this," his voice shuddered through tears of happiness.

Steve grunted and tried to maneuver the tube in his mouth wanting it out, assured he could also breathe on his own now.

Danny grabbed his hand with a wide grin, "Hold on! Wait, just wait!" he held his finger up to him as he backed away from the bed. "I'll get someone to take it out."

He ran to the door and flung it open, "Hey!" he yelled down to the nurse's station. "We need help in here!"

Two nurses quickly appeared in the hallway from other rooms, looking startled in his direction.

"Find Dr. Kidder and get him in here! Steve can move! He can move his hands and feet!"

One of the nurse's mouths dropped open in shock while the other smiled brightly and clapped as she ran to the nearest phone.

Danny came back in the room and up to Steve's bed, wiping away the most recent moisture in his eyes.

"They're coming, just sit tight."

The two men looked at each still amazed over their good fortune as Danny reached out taking ahold of the outstretched hand before him.

"I swear to god, Steve," he said with laughter, "you are the most inspiring son of a bitch I've ever met."

Steve smiled and looked down the bed again and slowly moved his feet just to be assured he still could. His muscles already ached from just that small amount of activity but he didn't care, it was the first time in his life that pain actually felt good. It felt amazingly good.


	27. Chapter 27

"Take it easy," Dr. Kidder warned, holding Steve's left arm while the male Physical Therapist held onto his right and Danny stood before them just incase, but he was mainly present just because he wanted to witness the event.

They slowly lifted him out of the wheelchair, holding him firmly, both men knowing he would never have the strength to stand on his own right now but Steve was insisting if not begging for the opportunity, so they happily obliged him.

"Slow," Matt repeated. "We're just going to take it very, very slow for now."

Steve looked down at his feet, feeling the cool laminate floor beneath them and couldn't help but smile. His legs felt shaky and unsteady, knowing too that walking right now was not going to happen, but it would happen soon he thought joyfully. He was eventually going to walk again.

"Try and move your feet forward," the therapist instructed. "It'll probably just be a shuffle so don't expect too much."

Steve stared at his right foot, trying to lift it off the ground to take a step but it felt like it had a five hundred pound weight on it. He slowly inched it forward, dragging his heel as predicted. The effort was painful and strenuous but he never uttered a discouraging sound.

"That's good!" Matt encouraged, "Now try the other foot."

He felt a tiny bead of sweat slide down from his temple but was determined to take a step with both feet no matter how small or painful it was.

Danny stood back crossing his arms with a wide grin on his face feeling the excitement of the moment almost as if it were his own achievement.

Steve looked up after taking the last step as Danny clapped and leaned forward, patting him on the shoulder.

"Good job, Buddy. You'll be running trails again in no time."

Steve smiled over that wanting to take another step but was denied.

"That's good for now," Matt said as he motioned to the therapist to set him back down. "Let's not overdue it the first day."

"One more," Steve begged, his voice still slightly raspy after being taken off the ventilator.

"No," Matt said adamantly. "You need to build up your strength first. We'll get there," he added reassuringly.

They set him back down in the chair as Matt wheeled him back over to his bed. "Do you want back in yet?"

"No," Steve replied hoarsely and very adamantly.

"I didn't think so," Matt chuckled.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning at eight sharp," Austin, the Physical Therapist said to him, holding his hand out to him. "It was great meeting you Steve and I'm looking forward to working with you."

"Me too," Steve replied, slowly reaching his hand out to shake Austin's. His mobility was slow and took most of his effort to accomplish, but he didn't consider it a burden whatsoever, it was a blessing.

Matt thanked Austin as he left and turned back with a broad smile. "You did great, Steve."

"Thanks," he said sincerely. "And not for that praise," he added with even more sincerity in his voice. "I mean thanks Matt, for putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. You're seriously a miracle worker."

He shrugged off the compliment even though it was taken with the upmost gratification. "You had me worried for a while there," he laughed nervously. "I had several sleepless nights over your condition after the surgery."

"I never doubted your skills for a minute," Danny joked.

Matt and Steve both looked at each other and scuffed over that.

"Jumping on the bandwagon Danno," Steve teased him.

"There were times, "Matt confessed, "that I actually avoided this room knowing you were here. I like my face and wanted to keep it in tact," he grinned.

"Whatever," Danny chuckled, reaching his hand out to Matt. "My apologies, hopefully water under the bridge. Seriously, good work doc."

Matt shook his hand. "Forgotten." He clasped his hands together, "Ok, I'm going to head out." He pointed a firm finger at Steve. "Do not try to walk again on your own and do not try to get back in bed without a nurse, understood?"

"Yes, sir," he responded. "You're the boss."

"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow after your session with Austin."

As the door closed behind him Steve turned to Danny. "While I'm still in a generous mood, I might as well thank you too, for sticking by me."

"What?!" Danny replied with his hands held out with a less than satisfied account of that 'thank you'. "Are you kidding me? That's all I get? A sloppy second thank you that by the way did not even sound closely sincere as what Matt got."

"He operated on me and gave me my legs back!" Steve argued.

"And if he would have failed, who was the one who would have stood by Humpty Dumpty for the rest of his life?" he pointed at his chest. "That's right…ME! So you better dig deeper than that and make me feel appreciated."

Steve rolled his eyes, "Ok, ok, beers are on me for one year. That's it, one year, no more!"

Danny narrowed his eyes at him and then nodded, "Done! Starting today," he added, "not back when you first got shot almost a year ago."

"What?" Steve chuckled, "you think I'd be that cheap?"

"Yes, "Danny replied seriously, "I do."

Steve grinned at him, "You're a good detective, because that's exactly what I was planning."

They both got a good laugh out of it.

"It's been a pretty good day," Danny said to him, "but you know what would have made it even better?"

Steve knew exactly where he was headed with that statement.

"Yes," he replied with a long sigh, "If Tyler were here."

"When are you going to call her?"

"She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you."

"I sent her away," he reminded him. "I refused to see her. I read the letter. She's certainly not happy with me."

"Different times, different scenario. Don't you want to call her?"

"Of course I do!"

Danny reached in his pocket and pulled his phone out, extending it out to him, "Then call her."

"And say what? Oh guess what? I can move now, so c'mon back, sorry to have made you feel like shit and put you through hell but all is well now?" He huffed, "She'll put me in a coma."

"It might take some schmoozing on your part, but I think she would forgive you."

"I thought I was doing the right thing," he confessed regretfully. "I was so scared Danny, petrified. I didn't want her to see me like that. I shouldn't have done it the way I had, but I knew otherwise she never would have gone. I didn't want her to stay out of pity or loyalty. I think that scared me more than anything else. Day after day not knowing if she really wanted to be there."

"She did. She's a rare find Steve, and I wanted to thump you for what you did to her, for what you were doing to yourself, but I knew it was useless."

"That letter…" he moaned. "I could hear the pain in her voice as I read it." He shook his head, "I can't call her just yet. I have no idea what to say to her."

"Write her a letter back, or even better an email. It'll give you a chance to get out what you want to say and you won't feel like you're putting her on the spot. Let her make the choice you never allowed her to before."

He looked up at him, liking that idea. "That's not a bad idea, Danno. I won't stumble with words and I can beg for forgiveness without saying something stupid in between."

"Exactly."

He slowly lifted a shaky hand, showing his inability to move freely, "It'll be slow typing."

"Then you better get a move on."

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Tyler walked slowly down the hallway to her morning class carrying a bottled water and two more in her backpack. Her head throbbed even though she'd already taken three aspirin, afraid to take anymore than that.

She had the worst hangover that anyone ever had; she was assured of it. She wondered why anyone would drink on a regular basis if this is how you always felt the next day. Her alcoholic father was an even bigger idiot than she remembered. She learned her lesson, he…never.

"I'm impressed you made it to your morning class," Tucker said as she walked by him, hoping she would remember who he was.

She looked up hearing a familiar voice and turned her head, seeing him leaning against the wall holding a brown paper lunch sack.

"Oh, hi," Tyler said, narrowing her eyes at him, trying to recall his name.

"Tucker," he reminded her.

"Right. I remember," she lied.

"I saved your reputation in that bar and you forget my name," he joked, "that's harsh."

"I remember you," she argued.

"Oh yea? What's my major then?"

She tilted her head to the side sarcastically and grinned at him, "Chemistry. And I apologize for the blowing up the school comment."

He smiled, pleased that she did remember him. "Ok, ok. I'm even more impressed now." He pushed off the wall and walked up to her. "How do you feel?"

Tyler shrugged, "Like a rag doll that's been put through the ringer."

Tucker laughed, "That's pretty bad." He held up the paper sack. "I brought you breakfast. Somehow after a night like that food that would normally make me cringe, tastes pretty darn good." He shook the bag, "Two sausage McMuffins. Guaranteed to cure any hangover pains."

She looked at him queerly over the visit as well as the gift, wondering why he was there. "Do you have classes in this building this morning?"

"No. Jason told me last night you had class this morning. He bet me you wouldn't make it. I won," he grinned widely.

She couldn't help but be amused over that. "What did you win?"

"We didn't actually wager anything," his smile turned charming, "but I did get to see you this morning, so that's my prize."

Tyler shyly rolled her eyes at him. The attention was flattering but she really didn't want it or necessarily need it right now. Everything she did, every step she took, every thought in her head somehow reminded her of Steve and her heart just didn't have any room for another person at this time.

"Thank you Tucker, but…"

He knew what was coming; he'd used that line and tone enough times himself to know what it meant. "Before you toss me aside at least take the breakfast, trust me you'll enjoy it."

She sighed, not feeling pressured by him, but feeling slightly guilty over dismissing him after the nice gesture. She reluctantly took the bag from him, "Thank you."

He was completely captivated by her. Not able to put a finger on just what it was about HER of all the other women on campus, but he felt an attraction that had him helpless in his plea for her attention. She was beautiful, yes, that was obvious but there was something else that just naturally fed his fascination over her.

She pointed sheepishly over her shoulder to her nearby class door. "I have class, so..."

"Oh right," he said, feeling awkward, which only added to his magnetism for her. "Enjoy the McMuffins. I guess I'll see you around campus then, hopefully. I'd like to," he added, his sense of humor and playful personality making an appearance. "I hope I run into you again soon. I mean, it's a big campus but who knows. Will I at least get a wave from you?" he asked, displaying the gesture to her.

Tyler couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, I promise, I will wave."

"Awesome, then I'm not being tossed aside completely. I have that to look forward to."

She wasn't annoyed with him in the least but found him surprisingly entertaining, noticing just then that her headache had vanished and the aroma coming from the bag had her stomach growling as well.

"Bon appetite," he said as he turned and sauntered down the hall. Not disappointed at all over the encounter, but on the contrary, very, very pleased. He had a plan. He'd never had to struggle before so much to get a woman's attention, but she was making him work for it. He wasn't a quitter by any means. He'd never given up on any goal in his entire life and wasn't about to give up on her just yet. She was broken hearted, that was clear, but broken hearts mend he thought thankfully.

It made him wonder about the culprit that he was competing with. From her defensive behavior the night before, it was clear to him she still had this guys back, but why?

It didn't matter, he thought. That guy was gone and he was here.

Tyler smiled, watching him as he walked away. He was tall and lean with broad shoulders, an eye pleasing spectacle of a man.

Her smile slowly faded as she was reminded of another man that held the same qualities.

She reached in her backpack and took out her phone, hoping for a message from him, but was once again disappointed that there wasn't one.

Her heart sank and so did her appetite, feeling the headache suddenly reappear as she slowly and sadly entered the classroom and took her seat.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Ten more seconds Steve," Austin encouraged him as he stared at the stopwatch in his hand.

Steve watched a bead of sweat slip off the end of his nose and fell on the mat below him as he held the perfectly straight Pilate position. It mirrored a standard push-up but instead of the traditional move of going up and down, Austin had him hold it for one minute.

"Ok," he said, and with that word of release, Steve did, dropping down on the mat with a loud groan.

"Holy shit," he breathed hard, wincing from the pain in his muscles that hadn't been worked that hard in a while.

"That's a great exercise to wake your muscles up," Austin explained. "We'll increase the time by ten seconds every week."

"Can't we do that one at the beginning of the session instead of the end," Steve commented as he rolled over on his back.

Austin tossed him a towel that landed on his chest, "Is it too much for you? Do you want to take a vacation already?"

Steve looked up at him, startled over that question. "No."

Austin smiled, knowing that would be the answer. "Ok then. Let me do my job and I'll have you running marathons in no time."

Steve smiled as he wiped his face off and sat up. "Were you in the military by any chance?"

"Nope," Austin replied, "but my old man was an Army Ranger, why?"

Steve chuckled, "You have that ' _get up and move your ass soldier'_ way about you. I like it." He felt a dull, sharp pain in his chest being reminded of another person who held those same qualities when it came to his recovery.

Austin came up behind him and slipped his forearms under Steve's armpits. "Up," he said as he helped get him to his feet and then kept ahold of him while Steve got his balance.

"It still feels weird to stand." He looked down at his feet, needing that visual to make walking happen.

"It's just like riding a bike. You'll get the hang of it again." He wrapped Steve's arm over his shoulder and held him around the waist as they slowly walked back to the wheelchair.

"Can I walk back to my room?" he asked, hating having to get in that chair.

Austin contemplated that thought for a second before approving it. "Ok, on one condition."

"What?"

"We increase the push up hold by ten seconds every fourth day rather than the seventh."

"That's blackmail," Steve chuckled.

"Then let's sit in the chair and talk about it," he grinned.

"Ok, ok!" Steve quickly agreed, "deal."

It took a while and a couple of breaks to get there, but as they came down the corridor toward his room Steve was overcome by the sense of accomplishment and the greeting he got by the nurses as they applauded his success.

"Thank you ladies," he bowed slightly and applauded them in return. "Couldn't have done it without you."

Austin sat him down on his bed and he scooted back, relaxed but exhausted.

"You did great today," Austin complimented as he marked the digital chart on the wall of Steve's return from the session.

"Thanks man," Steve said to him, holding out his fist. "So did you."

They bumped them together with pleasing smiles.

"See ya tomorrow at nine sharp," Austin said over his shoulder as he left the room.

"Can you close it?" Steve yelled out, wanting some privacy, hoping he would get the ok from Matt to go home in the next couple of days. He was sick of hospitals and wanted to be in his own bed again, hopefully with Tyler he thought as he reached for his laptop that Danny had brought him.

He flipped it open and pulled up the letter that he had started for Tyler, staring at the only two words he had managed to get out so far.

 _Dear Tyler,_

He sighed heavily, hating the formal and impersonal greeting, hating even more that he didn't know what to say to her after that.

"I love you," he whispered, wishing he could just write that and send it, but she deserved more than that. He just wished he could find the words to say what he was feeling towards her and explain why he had done what he had.

He reached over and picked up his cell phone, pulling up her number as his thumb hovered over the send button, wanting to hear her voice and tell her all about his good fortune.

He set it back down again and closed the laptop, placing it back on the side table as well.

He pushed the button on the bed until he was laid out flat and rolled over on his side away from the door. He held his left hand out in front of him and squeezed it over and over into a fist just because he could, smiling over the freedom of it. He then glanced down his body and moved his foot, pulling his knee up so it was bent, smiling even broader over that uncomplicated move that was still surreal to watch.

His life had taken a complete 180 degree turn from a just a couple of days before. Everything in his life that had been out of reach was suddenly attainable again. He wanted to experience all the things that he had thought he lost, including running up Koko Head stairs at a full pace until he reached the top, surfing up at the North Shore and kayaking out to the Makulua Islands again.

His thoughts went to Tyler then, recalling their last adventure out there that had almost cost both of them their lives. He also remembered holding her unconscious body as he waited for help to arrive. They had made it through and survived, which brought him to his next want, a family, a family with her.

A smile slowly grew on his lips as he pictured the two of them together creating a life in his bed at home. He'd eventually be able to do it the good ole fashioned natural way again.

He'd yet to experience an erection since the nightmarish ordeal had vanished, but was quickly put at ease by Matt, explaining that his body was still recovering and in time he was sure that would happen as well.

Steve nervously hoped at least. He certainly felt the desire and will but had yet to display the tool to accomplish the job.

He closed his eyes, picturing Tyler lying beneath him. It was a perfect vision that carried him off to sleep.

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Tyler walked across campus to her next class but wasn't in a rush; she had thirty minutes before it started.

She saw a familiar face approaching her and she let out a laugh as Tucker appeared again, holding up a Subway bag with a sandwich inside.

"I thought after a McMuffin that a good healthy sandwich would be ideal for lunch."

"You're crazy," she laughed shaking her head at him.

"Hey Tuck, good luck Saturday," another student said out of the blue as he passed them, holding out his fist to him. The small group he was walking with all replied with similar good lucks.

"Thanks," Tucker replied, touching his fist against a couple of the ones that held it out.

Tyler looked over her shoulder as they moved on, "Your friends are very supportive. What's Saturday?"

Tucker smiled, "They're not my friend's, I don't know them."

She looked at him queerly, "What? How do they know you? What's Saturday?" she asked again.

"I have a big game Saturday against Oregon."

She instantly thought of Jason. "Oh, do you play Soccer with Jason?"

Tucker grinned, loving that she still had no idea who he was. "No, Jason would walk all over me on a soccer field."

"Go Cardinals!" Another male student said to him as he passed.

"Good luck Tucker," A group of young girls said only seconds later as they passed him. All of which smiled sweetly at him and then eyed Tyler interestingly, wondering who she was.

"Thanks," he grinned and waved, rolling his eyes over the attention. "Sorry," he responded to her. "It's a big game."

She looked at him questionably, "Who are you and what exactly do you do?"

He shrugged nonchalantly, "I play quarterback for the football team."

She wasn't a fool or naïve by any means, knowing exactly what that meant. His stature made him a celebrity around campus that was obvious. She was at that school for one reason and one reason only, to get her degree in medicine. She hadn't had time to get involved with the athletic social part of it. Only knowing the stats of the soccer games because of Jason and Bre. She felt slightly embarrassed over the fact that she didn't know who he was.

"I guess I have kinda been living under a rock you would think, because I should probably know who you are."

"Why?" he asked shocked over her response. "Not everyone follows football."

"Yea but…" she blushed, "being quarterback for Stanford University is a big deal."

He shrugged again with a smile, "It has its perks." He held the sandwich up wanting off that subject, already seeing the change in her over his status, liking it better when he was just another student to her. "How about lunch?"

She looked at him, not seeing what she would have thought if she would have been introduced to him as the quarterback, he was humble which she found refreshing considering he had every right to use his status to his advantage, but didn't. She also couldn't help to think that it was incredibly flattering that she had become the object of his attention, assured he could have just about any girl on campus, wondering then if maybe he had and she was just someone who he felt was a challenge, simple because she had no idea who he was.

"I have class in a few minutes."

His hand holding the bag dropped to his side, feeling foolish himself now for following around someone who obviously had no desire to be followed. "Ok," he said disappointed. "I get it." He shifted nervously staring at the ground and then looked up at her. "I won't bother you anymore Tyler." He forced a disheartened smile for her. "I'll see you around."

His attitude wasn't what she had expected. As he turned to leave she felt something in her wanting to pull him back. "Wait."

Tucker stopped and turned as she came toward him, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be…" she wasn't quite sure of the right word to use, but she had absolutely no desire to start or be in a relationship at this time in her life, that was until she saw him turn and leave. "I'm just going through something very difficult right now."

"I know," Tucker responded. "I don't want to complicate things for you either. It's just that when I met you last night…" he smiled shyly, "I don't know. You have this thing about you…I don't know how to explain it, but I like it. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I don't know what happened between you and this Steve guy and it's none of my business, but I know you still hold a lot of respect for him, even after the breakup, which probably means he wasn't bad to you, which also means the breakup must be hurting pretty bad. I just thought maybe I could be a distraction from that," he shrugged, "or not."

He was sincere and she didn't see him as being the womanizing type either, especially after that heartfelt confession. He respected her feelings and her relationship with Steve. That name crossing her thoughts made her want to call upon that new habit of reaching for her phone, hoping for something from him, but knew it would just be a disappointment like the other hundreds of times she'd looked. He turned her away. She felt that stab of pain over his rejection and yet standing before her was a man who was trying his best just to get to know her. In the heat of the moment she decided not to be too hast and let him walk away.

"I could maybe meet you after class if you want," she bit her bottom lip, looking down at the ground. "I'm not saying it's a date or anything like that, but…"

"I'll take it," Tucker interrupted.

She looked up at him seeing his pleased expression over her change of heart. It jumped across to her as she smiled back at him. "I'm not a big football fan."

"I actually find that extremely charming about you."

He seemed to surprise her around every turn.

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 _Steve watched her from a distance in his dream. The location was sketchy but it felt like home even though it wasn't the one he lived in. Tyler turned to him as if feeling his presence and smiled as she pulled out the clip that held her hair in place, letting it fall naturally over her bare shoulders and breasts._

 _He felt his body stir as she walked toward him, feeling the incredible anticipation of her beautiful body up against his before even making contact._

 _"I love you," he said to her as she slid her hands around his neck and greeted him with a kiss._

 _Her skin was warm to the touch as he laid her down on the ground and moved between her legs that she happily opened for him, feeling her body wrap around him as he entered her._

The intensity of it was so powerful it woke him from the dream.

His eyes flew open and he took in a deep breath as if he'd been holding his, feeling his heart pounding in his chest and his body hot and feverish.

He'd dreamt about her before, but never like that.

The tingling throughout his body continued as he felt a sensation that he hadn't for sometime, reaching his hand down under the covers of the blanket and smiling over the erection that was as stiff as if he were reliving his adolescences.

"Thank god," he whispered with overwhelming relief, rolling over on his back with his hand shielding it.

He had the desire but not the means to relieve himself from the afterthought of the dream in his hospital room. He was just thrilled over the fact that he could. That was satisfying enough in itself.

He wanted her. He wanted to feel what he got a glimpse of in his dream. He'd wait. He'd wait for her. It would be well worth it he was assured.

He pushed the button on his bed as it rose to a sitting position and reached over for his laptop.

The dream had not only awoken him with a heated passion for her but had given him the words in which he felt he'd been lacking to beg for her forgiveness and call her home.

His unsteady fingers moved too slowly for the words that poured out of him, forgoing any misspellings or sentence corrections, needing to get what he was feeling out of him and in text so she could fully understand why he had done what he had.

Twenty minutes later he was done, glancing over the page that had red and green italic notifications all over it showing errors, but he didn't care. The words that made up the letter were from his heart, and he actually felt every bit of the emotions that it took to write it as he re-read it.

If this didn't win her back, he wasn't sure anything would.

He corrected the errors and copied it into an email but hesitated sending it just then, knowing she'd be in class and he didn't want her to read it then or have any distractions when she did. He decided to wait until a later time so she would hopefully see it while she was studying that night.

He ended it with the three words he'd said to her in his dream, hoping her reply would hold the same for him.

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Tyler laughed out loud as Tucker threw another football in her direction.

He was on the fifty-yard line while she stood in the end zone of the stadium field.

"Both hands!" he shouted to her, tossing another one high up in the air so it sailed to her and wasn't a line drive bullet that he was accustomed to throwing, afraid he might hurt her.

On the fourth attempt she caught one as they both cheered.

He threw another one straight up in the air and bolted down the field keeping an eye on it as it came down and landed in his arms on the twenty-yard line.

"Wow," she said with wide eyes, "that's impressive! You don't even need any other players. You can play quarterback and catcher."

"Receiver," he corrected her.

"Whatever, " she chuckled throwing the ball in his direction as he jogged toward her.

It spiraled in the air as it came at him, but was slightly short as he ran forward stretching his arms out and caught it.

He slowed down to a jog and flipped it around in his hands like a familiar toy as he came up to her. "Hey, that wasn't a bad throw."

Tyler raised her right arm and flexed her muscle. "Not bad for a girl huh?"

"I have nothing against girls and their abilities to play sports. My little sister plays short stop for the Arizona State softball team and is a way better athlete than I am."

"You come from a very talented family."

He shrugged, "Who taught you how to throw like that? Brother?"

Tyler huffed over that suggestion, but then felt a tug at her heart over who really taught her. She recalled being in Steve's backyard and playing catch with him. It was a good workout for his arm and he loved throwing the football even from his chair. She learned a thing or too as well.

"A friend taught me," she replied, turning away from him.

"Steve?" Tucker asked, wishing he knew about this person but then again didn't really want to either. He felt strongly he was in competition with this ghost of a man that still held a strong tie with her even though he was nowhere to be seen. It was hard to overcome, especially since the more time he spent with her, the harder and harder he was falling for her.

It was the first time he had asked about him since the night they had met. She wasn't sure she was ready to divulge their relationship just yet, not really sure where this one was going either. She liked spending time with him, he was fun and easy to be with, but there were times when she felt guilty for being with him, like somehow she was being disloyal to Steve. It was a difficult emotion to overcome and one she couldn't understand either. It was over with him, he had made it clear, but she wondered at times like now, if it would ever really be over for her.

"He played football too. He liked to throw it around," she finally replied to his question but wanted to move on to another subject. "I tried to get tickets to this 'big game' on Saturday," she said, "but it was sold out. Jason said it was on TV though."

Tucker smiled brightly over her attempt to come watch him play. "You want to come to the game?! I can get you tickets, no problem."

"Really?" she seemed impressed by that since it had been sold out for some time she had heard.

Tucker twirled the ball on his fingertip like it was a basketball, acting as if the request was nothing. "I'm the quarterback, remember. I told you, it has its perks."

"Well," she said playfully, acting snide, "aren't you special. Mr. Big Quarterback going to get little ole me tickets. I should say aren't I special."

He shrugged and played along in the same manner, "Well, they are a hot commodity right now, so it will cost you a little something."

"Oh yea, like what?"

He stood before her as she leaned against the goal post, taking another step toward her eliminating any person space between them. "Let me think of something," he whispered to her as he kept eye contact until he was close to her lips and then closed his eyes, wanting a kiss from her so badly he was willing to risk the chance of rejection, but she was just too beautiful and perfect not to try.

Tyler held her breath as her heart screamed out to put a stop to it, but her conscience didn't have the will to turn him down. He'd been so patient the past couple of days, making time for her in his busy schedule and more than anything else not pressuring her toward anything romantic. She felt she was bordering on that thin line of teasing his emotions because she was spending the time with him and not wanting to turn him down because of it. He'd been a surprising distraction in her life at the moment from all that had been ailing her, wondering how one kiss could hurt anything. Maybe this is what she needed. She liked him very much and besides that, she couldn't help but feel special knowing all his attention was geared toward her when he could have anyone he wanted. So she let it happen, shocked over the outcome that she hadn't expected.

Tucker felt an explosion ripple through him like nothing he'd ever experienced before. It was everything he had imagined it would be and more, and the fact that she was on board with it only heightened his pleasure. His feelings toward her skyrocketed during those few seconds of bliss. He was intoxicated over who she was and this strange power she had over him that left him completely helpless. The chemistry he felt with her was off the charts and more satisfying than any winning touchdown pass he'd made in his career. This kiss topped everything good that had ever happened so far in his life.

Tyler opened her eyes and looked at him as his hand slid out from her hair and down her arm. His expression was almost dreamlike as he stared at her. She on the other hand wanted to cry. _'You will never get over him,'_ she thought to herself, wishing now she would have put a stop to the kiss. All she could think and feel during the moment was Steve and how different his kisses felt compared to another man, even one she was attracted to, which vanished the second he touched her in that intimate way. She felt nothing romantic for Tucker; her heart belonged to the one man that had sent her away and she knew now without a doubt that it always would.

She felt even more lost now than she did on that flight from Hawaii to back to California, missing him terribly.


	28. Chapter 28

Steve read the email over one more time, which was probably the hundredth time since writing it. The contents of it were the most honest he'd ever been with himself or another person, not regretting or wanting to change a single word of it.

He felt his heart begin to race as the mouse hovered over the send button.

It was do or die time he thought. ' _You've got nothing to lose by sending it…except your mind if she doesn't respond.'_

He felt a little sick to his stomach over that, but also knew if he did nothing then she would be gone forever. With that notion he pushed send and closed the laptop, taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

It was done. The ball was in her court now.

It was an odd feeling knowing that he'd poured his heart and soul into that letter and it had nothing to do nor did it even mention his ability to move freely again, yet alone walk, which was the main focus of why it had even come about in the first place. He realized after waking up from the dream that what they shared wasn't just a physical bond, it was more than that; it was a spiritual connection that he had realized too late and had foolishly severed ties with. It pained him knowing how much he must have hurt her, because if the tables were turned he wasn't sure he could go on breathing. He had been the culprit in the whole scheme of things, but he was paying the ultimate price for it now, being without her was like living in a constant state of loneliness and regret. He'd made errors in his life before but none as grave as the one he'd made by sending her away.

If she came back to him he'd spend the rest of his life making it up to her, and if she didn't come back then he'd spend it regretting and punishing himself over it.

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Tucker scooted closer to Tyler as they sat together at a table in the university library. They hovered over his textbook as she highlighted sections as a study guide for him from a Biology class she had taken a year before in Hawaii.

"You're so smart, " he said as she pointed out a formula to help him on a test that was coming up.

"It's all right here in the book," she pointed out. "I didn't write it, I just read it."

He slid an arm around her lower waist and kissed her cheek. "You could have written it."

She leaned back and looked at him as he smiled seductively at her. "Are you paying attention?"

"I'm trying, " he whispered, "but I can't take my eyes off of you."

She rolled hers and scooted her chair back. "You have a test on Friday. If you don't pass it you won't get to play on Saturday."

Tucker let out a laugh that turned several nearby heads to the interrupted noise.

"Shhh," Tyler scolded him.

"Believe me," he countered her previous statement, "I'll play Saturday regardless of the test results. BUT," he also pointed out, "I want to do well on the test because I want good grades. I want to work for my degree and not have it handed to me because I know how to throw a perfect spiral."

She admired that about him, especially after tutoring other athletes who thought the complete opposite. She couldn't help but be enamored over his ideals. She also hated that about him too; wishing he were spoiled and felt entitled like so many others in his position, that way she wouldn't be so confused on why she didn't feel the same way about him as he did about her. He was smart, fun, talented and gorgeous, but when she looked at him all she could do was constantly compare him to Steve. It was driving her crazy. She knew he wanted more from her, but like his patience for that first kiss he didn't pressure her to come back to his dorm room or try to make his way into hers at the end of the night. He was a gentleman but she knew eventually if the feelings toward him didn't change she was going to have to tell him. It wasn't fair to lead him on anymore than she already was.

She pointed at the book and then at her laptop. "I want those notes on that page typed into there by the time I get back from the bathroom."

Tucker smiled at her firm tone, "And if I do, what's my reward?"

"I'll buy you some cookies from the vending machine out front. How's that?"

His eyes lit up as if that excited him. "Ok!"

She smiled over his playfulness but when she went to stand up he leaned over and whispered to her. "Just so you know, I'd do it for nothing. I have this strange need to please you, Tyler." It wasn't so much the words that were spoken as the way they were delivered. He kept his gaze on her for a few more seconds before he gave her a quick kiss. She felt strongly there was a hint of his true feelings in that statement, which any girl in that library whom she couldn't help but notice had indeed noticed them would have probably gushed over, yet the first thing that came to her mind was the time that Steve had said those very words to her as she tried to con him into ten more minutes of a workout.

She was beginning to hate him for sending her away, feeling his love was almost a curse that would taint any man she ever tried to love.

' _Jesus she's beautiful,'_ Tucker thought as he watched her make her way to the stairs that led to the restrooms, keeping the one-sided gaze until she disappeared. _'You really need to get a hold of yourself, buddy,'_ he told himself, missing her already. He couldn't help it though, she was on his mind constantly and when they were together he was like a kid on Christmas morning.

He was getting to know her little by little everyday and was thrilled the night before when she had told him about her childhood which had similarities to his own, making that bond with her even stronger. It had only been a few days but his feelings toward her were growing by the second. He'd never felt this way about anyone before and couldn't put a finger on exactly why Tyler was the one that kept him so enthralled, but she just had a way about making him feel like he had to work for her affection. It was crazy but he loved it. She was a challenge and he was willing to do just about anything to win her over.

And the proof of that was about to be put to the test.

He focused back on the book and shifted the laptop in his direction, glancing up at the staircase every few seconds anticipating her return, but also wanting to get the notes typed in like she had asked, once again wanting to please her and hopefully get a pat on the head for it. She was torturing him in the most seductive and entertaining way, and he was having the time of his life with it.

He typed word for word the yellow highlighted section of the book on the laptop when a pop up appeared in the corner of the screen alerting her to an incoming email.

His heart sank to his stomach, seeing the recipients name come across and then fade away as the alert disappeared.

'SteveMcG' was the name, and he knew without a doubt that the email belonged to the man who for the first time in his life he felt in competition with over a woman. Only this guy was even harder to compete with because he was nowhere to be seen, until now. The ghost was trying to rise from the dead and he felt an unnerving feeling that the email sent was going to break his heart.

He stared at the mail icon on the side of the screen, showing the number '1' displayed, alerting her again that there was an unread message needing her attention.

He felt a panic rise up in him over losing her. This guy had broken her heart. Hurt her in ways that he could visibly see, not physically but emotionally. She had yet to share with him any personal details about him, but Tucker was assured that whatever it was, it was harsh. She deserved to be happy. He could do that, not this guy who came and went and toyed with her feelings. His feelings were true and he'd stay by her side, not two thousand miles away.

The combination of fear and panic got the better of him and he clicked on the icon and then the email, glancing up at the stairs again only this time not wanting to see her just yet. He read the first line and knew it was exactly what he had anticipated, a plea for forgiveness.

He maneuvered the curser over the delete button and paused, knowing it was wrong but anger and his own selfish need for her took over, not wanting to see her hurt anymore by this guy, denying that he was doing it more for himself. He hesitated too long over the icon as the computer took command. The email disappeared before his eyes.

"Oh shit," he whispered but did nothing to retrieve it.

He glanced around the room as if he'd just committed a crime, seeing if anyone else had noticed the dirty deed, but of course everyone else in the room simply went about their studies except two women across the way that smiled at him.

He quickly turned away from them, evaluating what he'd just done. He knew it was wrong but told himself that Tyler was better off not reading it, but even as he tried to convince himself of that he knew he was dead wrong. He felt trapped; if he told her what he had done she would be furious with him. If he didn't tell her…he contemplated that thought. Only he would know and both risks of losing her would be null and void.

He looked toward the stairs and saw her coming down, feeling an ache in the pit of his stomach. He still had time to retrieve it and put back in her new email file, but he didn't move, watching what could potentially be his future coming toward him, still arguing with himself, but all that was put to rest as she smiled at him. He closed the email site and brought up his notes.

"So, how far did we get?" she asked as she sat down in the chair next to him.

He didn't look at her; afraid she would see right thru him and know the awful thing he had just done.

"Umm," he mumbled, "just this." He showed her the Word Document on her laptop. "I got a text from my coach," he lied. "I had to respond."

"Do you have to go?" she asked.

He looked up at her then, swearing he heard disappointment in her voice over that question. He'd been searching for a sign that showed her true feelings, assured this was it. The timing was perfect he thought. "No," he replied. "It was nothing too important. I'm not going anywhere."

She turned away from him and reached in her backpack for a bottle of water, "Oh, ok." She should have cared, but she really didn't either way.

"Tyler," he said quietly, but in a tone that told her he wanted her full attention.

She looked over at him, giving him what he wanted, surprised over the seriousness in both his tone and his expression.

"What?" When he didn't answer right away she looked at him concerned. "What's wrong Tucker? Are you nervous about the test?"

He could give a shit about the test. What he needed was personal justification for what he had just done. "I like being with you, Tyler."

She smiled shyly over his heartfelt confession, which he thought was about the sexiest thing he'd ever seen, feeling halfway there to his validation. "I don't want to pressure you, I know you went through something difficult and I don't want you to think that I don't understand. I do, and I don't want you to feel like I'm pushing you into something either. I don't want to pressure you and I want be patient and helpful, and…I don't know, I guess I just want you to know that I'm here," he felt like he was rambling now, blushing slightly over his words that just didn't seem to come out and mirror what he was feeling towards her. He looked down and away from her line of sight, feeling like a fool, until he felt her hand reach over and cover his that rested on his leg.

She couldn't help but be flattered over what he was trying to say, knowing it must have been difficult. She also couldn't deny that she did like being with him too. Steve was an image that lived in her head and her heart and was impossible to dismiss, but she also couldn't help but feel that she wasn't maybe giving Tucker the chance that neither he nor perhaps she needed to see where this relationship could take them. She was torn between two men, not able to refrain from one and now afraid to refrain from the other. Tucker wasn't in the position to hurt her, but she was to him and that bothered her. It was the first sign that maybe she needed to give him a chance.

Tucker looked down at the gentle touch and then up at Tyler who smiled tenderly at him. There were always people around him it seemed like, day and night. It was funny but he never minded and had become so accustom to it that he began to find it comforting, but now since meeting her, he just wanted to find a nice quiet place where they could be alone and no one could find them, and no emails could reach them. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep the feelings inside of him that were urging him to take her in his arms and show her intimately just what she meant to him. He was falling in love. He was sure of it.

"I like being with you," he repeated, keeping a steady gaze on her, it pretty much summed up everything.

' _Give him the chance that Steve never gave you,"_ she told herself.

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Steve stared through the windshield of the Camaro at his house. The homecoming was a catch-22. He was thrilled to be there, but it would never feel the same again until Tyler would grace it with her presence.

He thought about the email he'd sent the night before and the lack of response from her so far. It hadn't even been twenty-four hours, yet he was already going out of his mind with anticipation for her reply, hoping to God that he even got one. She was stubborn as hell; he knew that very well, especially when it came to him. She might just be torturing him on purpose by making him wait, if she were, it was working. He could barely keep a thought in his head that didn't consist of Tyler Hyde.

"You ready?" Danny asked, bending over and looking at him from outside the driver's side door. "Or are you going to sit there all day in the car?"

Steve glanced over at him, "What? Oh," he replied with a small chuckle, lost in his own thoughts, not noticing he had even gotten out. "Yea, I'm ready."

He opened the door and got out, which was a simple reflexive move for most people, but not one he'd been able to perform on his own for close to a year.

He stood next to the car looking at the front entrance where the ramp used to be from the yard up to patio, which was now gone, assured Danny had removed it knowing it wasn't in need any longer.

"The place looks great," he smiled over at him.

"A little cosmetic work here and there," he replied walking ahead of Steve to the gate and swinging the waist high entrance open for him as he slowly made his way to him. "Take it easy, we got all day."

He put a hand on Danny's shoulder when he got there for support, stopping and taking a breather.

"You ok? You want me to run ahead and get your chair?" The second those words came out of his mouth he regretted it.

Steve looked at him like he'd completely lost his mind, removing his hand from his shoulder. "Hell no! I got it!"

"Bad choice of words. What I meant was that I know how you are and you like to rush everything and there's no rush here."

"Then say what you mean and not something ridiculous like that. I don't even want to see that chair."

"All right, all right, sorry." He did go ahead now and unlocked the front door and went inside. He took the wheelchair that was sitting by the lift and hid it in the coat closet by the front door. "Good riddance," he said to it as he closed the door. He turned to see Steve just then making his way on the front patio and across the threshold.

"Welcome home Buddy."

That got a smile out of him as he came inside and glanced around his house. "Everything looks great Danny, thanks," he replied sincerely. He stared at the lift that Tyler had installed for him; her presence was everywhere yet she was nowhere to be seen. Being home was a blessing, but it only made him miss her all the more.

"You know what I want to do?" he added.

"What?"

"Go down by the water in the chairs and have a beer with you." He missed that so much. They'd done it since the shooting but it was never the same as sitting in the wheelchair as it was in the lawn chairs. It would feel like old times again and that things were on the road to getting back to normal.

Danny smiled brightly over that idea, "I could use a cold one. Why don't you head down and I'll grab the beers."

He'd caught up with him before Steve was even barely out the backdoor. His motor skills were still slow but gaining momentum everyday. Austin, his physical therapist assured him he'd have him jogging and hiking again, but not to expect too much too soon.

Danny held his forearm out for support as Steve sat down in the chair, letting out a small breath of relief as he did. He handed him the open beer and took the seat.

"Thanks," Steve replied both for the beer and the assistance.

The two men looked at each other with pleasing grins as they tapped the bottles together.

"Just like old times," Danny said happily.

"Just like old times," Steve agreed.

They both took a long drink and sat back enjoying the view.

"I sent the email," Steve finally blurted out after a minute of silence.

"When?"

"Last night."

"Anything yet?"

Steve shook his head, "Nope. I told you, she hates me." He took another drink to wash down the bad taste in his mouth over that.

"She's punishing you. I told you, you're going to have to schmooze her big time."

"The letter," Steve said somberly, "it was good Danny. I mean, I thought it was. It wasn't just an apology it was more than that." He looked over at him, "I didn't tell her I could walk again. I didn't even mention the paralysis at all. I just talked about her and I."

"Wow!" He was clearly shocked over that. "Why? Do you want to make sure that she hasn't had a change of heart after being away from it all for a while?" he asked.

Steve nodded, "Maybe now she thinks what I did was the best thing. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, and sometimes it wises up."

"She'll call or respond to the email," Danny reassured him.

"I hope so."

"She will. If she loved you two weeks ago, she'll still love you now. You don't just shut it off."

"She thinks I did."

"No she doesn't. She knows why you did what you did. Have a little faith."

"Maybe I should go there?" Steve suggested.

"You can't fly yet, doctors orders. At least not for a couple more weeks."

"I hate this waiting. It sucks." He tapped the edge of his beer on the arm of the wooden chair.

"Why don't you just call her?"

He'd thought about that about a hundred times but always refrained from it. "No. She has my letter. It's up to her now. That's it."

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Tucker watched as Tyler came toward him from across the campus. She didn't see him yet but he could spot her from a hundred yards away amongst a group of his peers. She stood out in his line of vision simply because all other souls, mainly women, just seemed to disappear when she was around.

He couldn't help but smile as he admired her casual yet confident stroll through the maze of sidewalks that was leading her straight to him. She had her hair in a knot on top of her head. It wasn't elegantly done, a last minute grooming he was sure, but it took nothing away from the beauty that could stop his heart. He watched as she passed other students and faculty, some turning their heads to get a second look, yet she was completely oblivious to it all. He admired that just about more than anything else about her. Who wouldn't?

His smile slowly faded as he thought of the man who had once held this same privilege. He envisioned the first line of the email that he had read and felt a pain of guilt strike him. He still had no idea who he was or anything about him.

He used Tyler's silence about the subject as a weapon against this ghost, assuring himself that it meant surely he had hurt her deeply, the first words of the deleted note had said as much, wishing now he would have read it all, needing to know why she still held so much respect and admiration for someone like that.

His curiosity over this man had grown to almost an obsession. He couldn't think about Tyler without thinking about him. He wasn't sure if it was the guilt over the deception that he had created, or the fact that he was trying so hard with her, yet this other man seemed to hold all the cards in he and Tyler's relationship.

She was more forthcoming it seemed in her attempt to be with him, but there were times that he could see the distance and hesitation in her eyes, knowing she was thinking about Steve.

He smiled slightly as they met eyes and she approached him, wondering if her thoughts as she walked alone were consumed with him now? His jealousy reached its peak in that moment. The request he'd been wanting and now needed came out before any greeting as she stood before him.

"I want you to tell me about him?" he asked.

She looked at him quizzically but had a good idea to whom he was referring, asking him anyway. "Who?"

His expression was a cross between slightly annoyed over that question and pained over having to say his name out loud. "Steve."

"Why?" she asked as she walked past him, but at a pace telling him to keep moving with her. She simply didn't want to face him and talk about this subject; afraid he would see too much in her eyes.

"Hey," he said, taking ahold of her hand to stop her flight. "I just want to know the story. You don't have to tell me details, but…," he wanted to say that he thought he deserved to know, but held back from that demand. "I just want to know about him, that's all." He thought he would start it out for her to maybe make it easier and more approachable. "What did he do for a living?" That piece of the puzzle alone could tell so much about him.

Tyler knew this topic was inevitable if she were going to move forward with him, deciding now would be a better time than ever since she had another class in half an hour so they couldn't dwell on it.

"He was a Police Officer for the state of Hawaii. Actually," she corrected herself, "he was an exceptional Police Officer that worked strictly for the Governor. He had his own team."

Tucker hated him already; she spoke as if this guy was a fucking hero.

"How long were you with him?"

"Almost a year, kind of."

He wished she'd just come out with it instead of him having to drag it out with simple rhetorical questions. "So you were friends first," he assumed.

"Not really," she sighed, feeling that urge to reach for her phone, but knew it would be void of any messages from him.

"Ok, never mind," he caved, but his tone slightly irritated.

"This is hard for me Tucker."

"I just don't understand how you could obviously hold so much respect and admiration for someone who hurt you as badly as he did. I can see bits and pieces of you that I'm sure were the real you before him. There are times when you laugh and I can see this spark but then it fades and I just know it's because you are thinking about him. He makes you so sad, but yet you still…" he almost said 'love' but held back not wanting to know if it really was that deep, "miss him? Do you miss him?"

"You don't understand. The details of our relationship were unique."

She was defending him again he thought bitterly. _'Why?!'_

"The details are that he dumped you, but it seems like you are going to hold this lifelong vigil for him anyway, right? I don't get that!"

She hated that he used the word 'dumped' when describing their breakup; Steve didn't dump her! In his eyes he set her free. He was a good man and to her he always would be no matter what. She felt that urge to defend him, not wanting anyone ever to view him as anything but her hero.

She looked up at him, her expression hard at first but turned painful as she blurted out their storyline. "He was shot in the line of duty and paralyzed from the waist down. I was hired as his live in nurse to help him through the ordeal until he could function on his own." She held her hands out as if it were a normal situation, "We fell in love."

She was going to stop there but somehow it felt good to talk about, even to Tucker.

"Things were going well, no they were great. We were happy but he wanted more. He wanted more for me. He chose to have a risky surgery that could potentially give him mobility," she felt tears sting her eyes, "but it didn't work." Her voice broke as she looked away from him, feeling that familiar worry over him in his current condition, hoping whoever his new nurse was took good care of him, but also knew no one would ever do a better job than she could have. "The worst case scenario happened," she continued, "and he lost everything from the neck down. That's when he refused to see me anymore." She looked back up at him, wiping away the moisture just before it fell, "He didn't dump me. He sent me away because he loved me."

She didn't feel like she owed him anymore than that, nor did she want to stand there in the middle of campus and grieve over the one man that she held above all others.

"Tyler," he called out as she briskly walked away, but it came out as a muffled plea, shocked over what she had just told him. It was nothing of what he had anticipated to hear, not one shred of it.

He felt like a sheet had been thrown over his head, wishing he could just sit down where he was because he was floored by the impact of her story. He couldn't chase after her. What would he say? The deception that he thought he had done to protect her turned ugly, borderline evil in his opinion. The words he had read in the email changed, meaning in that second of clarification. He had made a crucial error in judgment, and knew at that second that he couldn't live with the deception anymore, even if it meant losing her.

He began to slowly walk in the direction that she had taken, knowing what he had to do next. He couldn't help but think that although he felt they were getting closer, he never really had her to begin with, and probably never would. His jealously toward Steve changed as well. Here he was, a star football player that could throw a perfect spiral into the end zone and yet there he was, a man with no mobility whatsoever yet still had the ability to win her heart. He began to admire him as much as Tyler did.

She skipped her class and went back to her dorm instead. It hurt worse than she had thought to talk about it.

She sat down on her bed and stared across the room, picturing Steve in his house, in his current condition. The lift would have to be manipulated in order to accommodate his new wheelchair she thought, which would be slightly more cumbersome, hoping the new nurse would do it sooner rather than later, knowing how much he loved sleeping in his bedroom. Worrying again that he would be stuck downstairs in another hospital bed. She also worried that he'd fall back into that state of depression, dropping her head into her hands, trying to fight off those feelings of despair she felt for him. Worse yet, she wouldn't be there to help him through it.

Tucker knocked softly on her door. When she didn't answer he knocked again.

"Tyler, I know you're in there. I saw you go in. Open the door."

She wiped her hands over her eyes, "I just need to be alone for a while Tucker, ok?"

"Please Tyler. I have to show you something. It's important. Let me in." He felt sick to his stomach, but stood his ground, knowing it was the right thing to do, and hating that he had to do it.

She reluctantly got up and made her way over to the door and opened it. He slipped past her as he came inside.

"Tucker," she said, slightly annoyed over his intrusion. "Can we just meet up later?"

He went for her laptop and flipped it open. "Come here."

"What are you doing?" she asked, not hiding the irritated tone anymore. "If you're looking for your notes…"

"You have an email." He brought up her email account and went to the deleted items folder, seeing it there. He clicked on it as it opened and then stepped back. He looked over at her with a pained expression. "I'm sorry."

She looked at him confused as she made her way over to him. "Sorry for what?"

He looked down at the opened document seeing the first sentence that made so much more sense to him now. "For this," he moved away from her and towards the door. "I deleted that the other day when we were in the library. I don't know why," he began and then backtracked, now wasn't the time for any more deception, if he had any chance at all with her he had to just come clean. "That's not true, I know why I did it. I was afraid of losing you."

She stared at the email address from the sender feeling her heart stop as she looked over at him, his hand on the open door with his back to her.

"I'm so sorry Tyler." There was nothing else to say as he left and closed the door behind him.

He stood in the hallway and knew without a shadow of a doubt that it was over with her. He'd never been heartbroken before. It hurt worse than any blind-sided hit he'd ever taken during a game.

Tyler slowly sat down in her desk chair, her eyes riveted on the screen as she began to read the message that she had been longing for.

 _Tyler,_

 _I just had a dream about you. It was so real I felt like you were still with me. Waking up was a horrible, lonely feeling that I can't live with anymore. I miss you. I miss you so much sometimes I can barely function in my life that has become just a routine. A routine to make use of myself in ways so I won't think about you, but it's impossible. You're in my thoughts every second of the day, and now at night in my dreams._

 _I don't know anymore why I did what I did. I thought it was to save you from a life of having to care for me, but it wasn't. It was to save me from having to watch you waste your life on me, but it was my choice and the thing that bothers me the most now is that I never gave you a choice. I'm sorry for that._

 _I'm not asking you now to come back and care for me, but I am asking you to forgive me for what I did to you, to us. We were happy despite the set backs, I realize that now. I don't know exactly what I'm asking from you, but I want you to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted. If being in California makes you happy then I applaud that and I will never regret my decision, but if what makes you happy is to be here, then come home. I'm giving you the choice now that I didn't before. If I never here from you again I will understand. I will, you know that's true. I'll move on with my life and try to live it the way you always encouraged me to. But if you come home, then I'll live it the way I always wanted to, with you._

 _I love you and always will, no matter what, Steve._

She read it over again two more times as the initial shock of it evaporated and she understood it more clearly. He wasn't asking her to come home; he was giving her the choice if she wanted to.

There was no decision to be made. It was what she had been waiting for all along. Tucker was never a thought in her mind, nor was his deception. It didn't matter now; Steve wanted her home!

She could hardly contain her excitement as all the pain and heartache suddenly vanished, replaced with a flutter in her heart as if he'd reached inside her chest and physically touched it himself.

She picked up her phone to call him, and then stopped as a smile spread across her face. The email was two days old which meant he had been waiting for her call or reply, what would another few hours hurt she thought, deciding to call Danny instead, assured he must have been the one to compose the email for Steve, not sure how he could have done it on his own. She was sure by now that Dr. Kidder would have performed a tracheotomy so the breathing tube could be removed, giving Steve the ability to communicate.

He answered on the second ring, overly pleased to see that it was her calling. " Tyler! Hey! How are you?"

"Hi Danny. I'm fine. How are you?"

"Good, good. It's good to hear your voice. We miss you around here."

She decided to cut to the chase and avoid the ridiculous small talk; they both knew why she was calling. "I just read the email from Steve."

"You did?" he said, trying to read into her voice, hoping she was pleased.

"Yes, and," she paused, "I'm coming home."

A broad smile broke out across his face. "That's great, Tyler. I can't tell you how happy he's going to be."

"I don't want you to tell him. I want to surprise him. Is he home now? How is he managing with the new nurse? I have some great ideas to help him function better. I'm sure the new wheelchair is more difficult to maneuver around but we'll work on it. I'm so excited."

He'd forgotten that she didn't know yet of his recovery, deciding not to say anything about it either. She was going to surprise Steve but she was the one that was going to get the biggest surprise yet. It made him admire her all the more; she was coming home not out of guilt or loyalty but because she loved him unconditionally.

"He's doing ok, I guess," he told her, "but I have a feeling his life is going to get a hell of a lot better though. When are you coming?"

"As soon as I can get a flight out of here."

"What about school?"

She hadn't thought about school in detail but as a spare of the moment decision, she would choose Steve over Stanford any day of the week. "They have great schools in Hawaii. I've always said that. I think he's finally on board with that too considering his circumstances now."

' _Yea,'_ Danny thought to himself with a low chuckle, ' _he finally realized he couldn't live without you.'_

"I can't wait to see you Tyler."

"Me too, Danny."

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Tyler packed as much as she could into her suitcases, leaving behind only the things she could live without for the time being. She had plans to come back and close up what needed to be once she got Steve settled and comfortable to leave him for a couple of days. Or the thought of him joining her wasn't completely out of the question either. It might be good for him she thought, to get off the island for a day or two. It would be like a mini vacation.

She had so many plans for him she could hardly keep them all in her head, creating a spreadsheet to keep them organized and adding to it with new ones that would make his new life as normally functional as possible. Not once did the word burden, or work cross her mind. On the contrary she was looking forward to the challenge and just being with him again. Whatever problems he faced, they would work through them together and come out on the other side victorious like they always had before, she was sure of it.

She got the text that Bre was downstairs waiting for her, slipping the letter to Tucker inside her pocket for Bre to deliver to him. She didn't want to see him again but she also didn't want for him to be left thinking that she held any ill will against him either. She didn't fully forgive him for what he had done, but she understood. She apologized herself for perhaps leading him on when she knew all along that the feelings were not mutual.

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Steve sat on Tyler's bed in the spare room and stared out the window. It had been four days and nothing.

He had to finally accept the fact that it was over. She had obviously made her decision and it didn't include him.

He laid back on the bed feeling every ounce of energy leave his body over the conclusion that he would probably never see her again.

His body, his mind, every part of him felt weak. It was hard to be happy even though he had so much to celebrate. Even the smallest of things that seemed insignificant to most people could make his day just to be able to accomplish them. He never took one second for granted and she was never far from his thoughts as he praised himself, wishing as always that she were there to witness it.

After all was said and done if it wasn't for her, he was assured he never would have gone through with the surgery. He couldn't even imagine what his life would be like now if Tyler hadn't graced it and given him the courage and will step back into the world that he had closed out. He would forever be grateful to her for that, having no harsh words or thoughts about her, even now. Part of him wished he would have told her about his recovery, but in the end, he had to know whether or not she loved him enough regardless of it. It proved to him that then that she had only stayed with him before out of loyalty and guilt. He had done the right thing by sending her away.

He let out a long deep sigh wondering how long a broken heart lasted; days, months, years perhaps? There was no medication, just time.

He lifted his head, hearing Danny's car pull up and then let it fall again, not really wanting to see anyone at the moment. He just wanted to lie there and feel like shit. He had his life back to almost the full capacity that he had been praying for so hard, but somehow without Tyler it all seemed worthless, at least for now until time could work it's magic, hoping it was sooner rather than later, but had a very bad feeling it was going to be a very, very long time before he could honestly say he was over her.

He heard the front door open and sat up feeling like he had a five hundred pound weight on his chest, his expression showing the displeasure of it.

"What Danny," he moaned as he slowly got up, sitting on the edge of the bed now.

Tyler smiled over at Danny as she opened up the car door.

"You go ahead," he said to her. "I'll wait here."

She nodded, agreeing with that, wanting to see Steve first on her own. It was going to be a heartfelt moment she was sure of it.

She noticed there was no other car in the driveway; pleased that Danny had informed her that he'd sent the nurse out for a while so they could be alone, not considering for a second that that was nothing more than a lie, as well as the description that he'd made up of this fictitious person just to keep the surprise alive.

She came through the gate and as she approached the house she could feel the warmth from it wash over her, having to wipe away the tears of joy that sprang to life in her eyes.

She was home.

She slowly opened the front door and peaked her head inside, not sure if he would be right there or not. Danny had been vague when answering all her questions but she assumed she would find all the answers she wanted soon enough.

There was no hospital bed in the living room, which pleased her. She closed the front door and looked around, not seeing anything out of the ordinary or any new equipment whatsoever that would accommodate his new paralysis, thinking it odd, but perhaps this new nurse was just tidy she thought.

She glanced at the lift that could take him upstairs, it was currently on the first level, which also told her he was somewhere down here on the bottom floor, but where?

She came around the corner of the kitchen and looked out through the doors that led to the lanai and the bath she had purchased for him, feeling a wave of good memories overcome her of times they had spent out there, with even more new ones to come.

She opened one of the doors and peered outside, still not seeing him, becoming perplexed that perhaps he wasn't even home, but turned her head back toward the family room when she heard a creak on the steps, as if someone were coming down them.

Steve held the handrail and made the last step, looking up just as she came around the corner of the kitchen. They both saw each other at the same time and froze in their tracks, each wearing a shocked expression but for completely different reasons.

It took a moment for him to get control of the situation as his mind quickly processed the details. She was really there. She'd come home after all, and by the look on her face, she was just as shocked to see him standing, as he was to see her standing right there. He followed her eyes as they scanned his body up and down as if she were seeing a magic trick being played on her. But once the reality set in she cupped her hands over her mouth as tears of joy flooded her eyes.

"Oh my God," she whispered as she made her way to him.

The long awaited eagerness to be close to her again was too much as he met her halfway.

She rose up on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, letting out a joyful sob as she did. She felt his arms tighten around her and it was undoubtedly the most wonderful feeling in the world.

Neither one spoke as they embraced, too caught up in the moment. The reunion surpassed any fantasy either one of them could have imagined.

When they finally broke apart Tyler stepped back, resting her hand on his chest as he put one of his over top of it.

"How? When?" she asked almost breathless. It was surreal to have to look up to see his face. His movements weren't as agile as she knew he wanted them to be, but she was home now, her mind racing with all sorts of new possibilities from what she thought she was walking in to. It was the best surprise she could have hoped for.

"A couple of days after you left. I just woke up and…I could move. Danny was with me," he replied, closing his eyes, still pained over the mistake he had made. "Tyler, I'm so sorry you weren't there."

"I know. I understand why you did it too." She touched his face, letting him know all was well. "No one has ever loved me this much before. I can't be angry for that."

He felt the burden of carrying that guilt around for the rest of his life slide off his shoulders. He swore to himself at that second that he'd never risk losing her ever again. Nothing was off limits to him now. She was here and he felt like he'd been reborn, nothing was off limits.

"I love you. I can't believe you're standing here with me. I can't lose you again, Tyler, ever."

"You won't," she promised, taking a step back, needing another look at his stature, "and you can't believe I'M standing here with YOU?!" she replied. "I can't believe you're standing period! You're so tall," she half laughed and cried at the same time. "Look at how tall you are?"

They both laughed over that as she stepped in and hugged him again.

"I missed you," he said into her hair, holding a handful of it as he gently pulled her head back, searching out her lips.

She knew what he was wanted and by no means resisted.

He could taste the salt from her tears but it only enhanced his pleasure knowing how happy she was to see him.

Now she was truly home.

His lips made their way to her neck and she giggled over the familiar feel of his five-o'clock shadow as it tickled her skin, making her heart soared over being this intimately close with him again. She was still a little in shock over his recovery, not expecting it in the least. Being with him was like a gift, but having him standing in front of her now was like a dream. She had never fantasized about him making love to her in the traditional way, not wanting to make light of the intimate moments they did share together. He pleased her in so many ways that it made up for the fact that they couldn't. But now, she couldn't help but wonder how good he would feel. "I'm so happy for you, Steve."

He smiled broadly holding his arms out to show himself off. "I need work," he announced. "I need someone sharp and beautiful to get me back into shape. Do you know anyone like that?" he grinned.

Tyler moved up against him. "I would like to apply for the job."

"You're hired."

She kissed him again and as if he read her mind he pulled back with a wicked grin. He too had other, more stimulating intentions on his mind over this reunion.

"You know…" he whispered to her, "its not just my arms and legs that are working properly now."

She raised an eyebrow getting his hint, "Really?" she said in low sexy voice. "How fascinating."

"And you know something else?"

"What?" she smiled.

"Since things have been functioning…properly," he blushed slightly with a sheepish grin; "I haven't…" he laughed nervously.

"What?" Tyler giggled with him. "Tell me."

He looked at her lovingly, putting a hand on her face. "I waited for you. Let's just say it's a good thing you came home otherwise I might have become a monk."

She knew then what he was referring to, almost as shocked over that sweet confession as she was about him standing before her. "Not once?"

He slowly shook his head, glad now that he hadn't. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about that, but her heartfelt expression over that gift was priceless.

"You must be in so much pain," she teased him as he let out a laugh, loving that she could make him do that at the most unexpected moments.

"It has been a challenge," he confessed.

She moved up close to him, running her hand down the side of his body as it went around the back and rested on his buttocks, "Well as your newly hired caregiver, I think we should begin with the most important aspect of your recovery process."

"I'm listening," he said, barely able to get the words out as his body reacted to her seductive move. There wasn't a nerve ending in his body that wasn't alive and kicking. He was almost fearful for her if he did get her into bed at that moment; he wanted her that badly.

She kept her eyes on his as she moved her hand up his back. She felt the bandage under his shirt from the operation as her eyes narrowed, "Does it hurt?" she asked concerned, gently gliding her fingers over it.

He'd forgotten about the healing scar on his back, "No, not really. Not anymore." He suddenly felt self-conscious over his ability to perform. Here he was, setting the mood when he suddenly became aware that he wasn't even sure he could move in the suitable fashion that would please her, let alone himself. "I'm still not able to…move freely, you know what I mean?"

She saw the apprehension appear in his eyes before he looked away from her, almost embarrassed over it. She on the other hand would have nothing of it.

"Look at me," she demanded.

He did as he was told, forgetting in that moment who he was speaking to; she quickly reminded him.

"Do you have any idea how important you are to me? We have overcome so many obstacles to be standing right here, literally standing right here," she reminded him of the obvious. "Besides," a smile slowly grew on her face as she bit her bottom lip, getting the mood back on track. "I don't think we've ever had a problem in that department, so why would a little stiffness in your back impede on the stiffness that I will be focusing on in the front. We'll work it out like we always have before."

Steve laughed, forgetting how easily she could pull him out of any stressing situation. He pulled her in closer to him. "God I missed you," his voice so sincere it oozed with affection. "You are the only person I've ever known that knows me better than I know myself."

"I pay attention," she explained, "and I love you. It's not knowing you better, it's just knowing what's best for you."

He couldn't argue that point, and wouldn't.

"How long can you stay for?" he asked, not sure what she had in mind. He knew what he wanted but wanted to let her make that decision on her own, learning that lesson far too well.

"For as long as you want me here."

That was exactly what he wanted to hear.

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They stayed home that night, forgoing a dinner out for steaks on the BBQ.

Steve helped but Tyler did most of the work, thrilled to be back where she belonged, in the home she wanted to do it in.

They sat out back in the chairs the remaining part of the night as the stars came out in swarms under a moonless sky.

"What about school Tyler," Steve asked, "You're going to finish right?"

She glanced over at him with a grin, "Yes. I'll transfer to a medical school here, whichever one I can get into first. I liked Stanford very much, but it's nothing compared to Hawaii. I'll still get a good education but I don't want to go back. I'm staying here with you."

He liked the sound of that even more than he thought he would. "Good. I want you here." He extended his hand out to her and she took it, "We should get a few things straight first though."

"Oh yea, like what?"

"This whole cooking and cleaning thing you had going on before when I was laid up, it's over. Your focus is on school and my focus is taking care of you for a change."

"I kinda like that," she smiled. "I've never had anyone take care of me before."

"It will be new for me too because I've never taken care of anyone. I've never had to. I always felt comfortable being alone," he squeezed her hand, "until you came along." He was reminded of those nights alone in the hospital after she was gone. "It was torture without you."

She curled up in the chair, facing him. "I understand what you did, and why, but you have to understand that what you did was wrong. I fell in love with you and I would have stayed with you, not because I felt like it was my obligation. I never felt that once, but because I love being with you. I know it's hard for you to let someone else take care of you. We both have that challenge only because we've being taking care of ourselves for so long, but it has to end if we want this to work. You can't stand on your own in this relationship just because you can stand now. What I mean is…"

"I know what you mean," he replied. He knew exactly what she meant. The time for holding back was over. If he wanted to hold onto her he needed to let go, of himself. "I can be that person. I learned the hard way what happens if I don't be that person. I'm never going back there again." He brought her hand he was holding up to his lips and kissed it, "I won't shy away from us, from this, what we have. It's too important to me. I can be that person, Tyler. You make it so easy for me."

She saw the future flash before her eyes of the two of them sitting in these same chairs years away and still feeling the same way about each other.

They still had a whole life ahead of them; both of them ready to begin living it as soon as possible.

...

She held onto him around the waist as they slowly ascended the stairs.

"Take it easy, no hurry," she said to him.

Steve stopped halfway up and looked over at her. "Are you kidding me? I've been waiting for this moment since that day I saw you dancing in my kitchen, or the night you came down these same stairs and sat up with me at one of the lowest points of my life. My only regret right now is that I can't hoist you over my shoulder and run up."

They both laughed over that.

She rested her head on his shoulder as they made the last few steps.

He thought he would be nervous over his ability to move or lack of it, but as always Tyler had managed just by her presence to wipe away any insecurities he might have had. She was right he thought as they came in the room, there wasn't an obstacle they couldn't get over or around without each other's help, and she wasted no time in showing him that this was not going to be a challenge for them either.

Tyler kept the light off turning around to him as she backed up to the bed.

He watched with great pleasure as she lifted her shirt over head and dropped it at her feet and then proceeded to pull the tie on her shorts as she removed them as well, all the while keeping her gaze directly on him, enjoying his wandering eyes that scanned her naked body and then met hers. The reaction between them was tender and turbulent all at the same time, leaving her feeling weak in the knees as he came toward her, putting a warm hand on her hip as he kissed her.

It felt different this time compared to the hundreds of other kisses. Whereas before he could only experience the tenderness of it, this time he could literally feel it all the way down to the tips of his toes, enjoying it more than he had just about anything in his entire life. He felt emotionally exposed with her, never having that with anyone else, enjoying the feel of it. It wasn't scary nor did he feel as if someday it might sting him, on the contrary, it was liberating and just made him want her all the more.

She too experienced something new and exciting. To be able to stand close to him and have his arms around her was surreal but also incredibly wonderful. She couldn't wait any longer for the feel of him inside of her, taking the bottom of his shirt and breaking from the kiss just long enough to lift it over his head, and then they eagerly joined lips once again; the kissing becoming more enthusiastic.

Her hands pulled down on his shorts, taking his boxer briefs with them while he aided the motion, leaving him as exposed as she was.

She'd seen him naked many times while caring for him but this was different. He was like a new man and she had yet to explore him as such.

He let out a soft moan as her fingers glided up and down his erection, feeling him in such a way that it was almost more than he could take.

"Careful now," he warned her, his voice shuddering over her technique, "this could be over before it starts."

With that she wrapped a hand around him and began to stroke him, "We have all night," she whispered to him between kisses. "I plan on taking advantage of my new toy several times before dawn."

She must have said the right thing to him because the next thing she knew he had her on her back on the bed, not sure where this sudden strength he had been lacking before had suddenly come from, but she didn't question it either, embracing him as he began to play with her body in the most pleasing ways.

He rose up on his elbow looking down her body as a ravishing hunger overtook him.

"We have time later for foreplay," he said breathless, "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

She agreed, sliding her body underneath his as she opened her legs, eagerly inviting him in. He kissed her then, not feeling any of the painful encumbrances that he thought he would, on the contrary he felt nothing but the sheer pleasure of her soft hands as they guided him to her.

She felt a slight pressure at first, pleased that even though he was anxious he was still patient enough, knowing it had been a long time for her as well. But once their bodies joined for the first time neither one of them was prepared for the explosion that erupted between them.

He let out an agonizing moan as her hips thrust into him, bringing him in deep and then pulling away, repeating it over and over until they both found that incredible rhythm between them.

Tyler held on around his neck and tilted her head back, gasping as she tried to catch her breath. Her mind and body consumed by him as she wrapped her legs around his waist, magically hurled to new heights with every thrust of his body into hers. She said his name as if calling out to him from a dream state.

His reaction from it was priceless as he rose up on one arm, holding her tightly around the waist with his other, lifting her slightly off the bed to bring her in closer to him. He passionately craved the explosive ending, yet it felt so good with her he didn't ever want it to end.

He looked down at her seeing the pleasure that covered her face over his efforts, which only enhanced his desire, feeling at that second as if all the blood in his body rushed to the one area that was giving her the most pleasure. His fingers curled around the sheets into a tight fist as it hit him.

The friction between them gained momentum as the warmth inside of her began to spread throughout her body.

She welcomed the moment for both of them with sheer happiness, knowing how many times he had brought her to the same climatic ecstasy, hoping it was as good for him as it always had been for her.

He lowered himself down on her, his body trembling and his chest heaving as he panted, trying to calm his body down from the orgasm that left him practically comatose.

He was warm and misty to the touch as her hand glided over his hair and body. She softly moaned enjoying the emotional high that came after hers.

He had no words that could match the feelings that rippled through him. Instead he used whatever strength he had left and rose up once again, searching out her lips and kissed her.

It was as tender as the first time, expressing so much that it brought tears to her eyes.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tyler sat in the front seat of Steve's truck, glancing over the marriage license in her hands and then smiled over at him as he drove.

He reached over and put a hand on her leg, "The hard parts over. You just tell me when and where and I'll show up."

She leaned over and kissed his cheek for that.

"I want to do it at home, in the backyard."

He liked that idea very much. "Ok. When?"

She shrugged, "I don't care. Before my classes start and before you go back to work."

That gave them one month. She'd been home for four now and as predicted his recovery had been progressing beyond Dr. Kidder's and his Physical Therapist's expectations. Steve gave all the credit to Tyler. He not only wanted to get healthier and stronger, but pleasing her any way he could was his greatest motivation.

He wasn't 100% just yet, but close.

"Whatever you want."

She liked that very much too. "You're very generous today. Can I have anything I want today too?"

He laughed, "Anything you want, anytime. All you have to do is ask."

"I want Loco Moco from Rainbow for lunch then."

He laughed again, "You don't ask for much do you?"

"That's why you love me," she said holding up the marriage license. "I have proof."

"That's just the icing on the cake," he replied. "I love you because you've given me a life that was so beyond my expectations of what it is to be happy that I will never, ever again risk losing it, and that's why I'm marrying you too."

She leaned over and kissed him again. "Do you know why I'm marrying you?"

"Why?" He hadn't thought about that question, just pleased that she had said yes.

"Because you're great in the sack."

He looked over at her and they both laughed.

"Well I take that as a huge compliment."

"Huge is the word of the day when we are discussing that," she winked at him.

"You're too kind," he chuckled, rolling his yes at her playfulness, but she did always have a way of making him feel like a man.

"Seriously though," she said, "I'm marrying you because when I'm with you I feel safe. I feel loved and I feel free to be who I am and whatever I want to be. I've never had that before and I won't risk losing it again either."

He pulled into a parking lot of an apartment complex and stopped, leaning over to her. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said before kissing him.

He took off his seatbelt and went to get out as she reached out and touched his arm, "Where are you going?"

"I have to see someone really quick. I'll be right back."

"Who lives here?" she asked.

"An old acquaintance of mine from when I was in that rehab place after I was shot. I just want to say hi. Be right back."

She watched him pull a piece of paper out of his front pocket as he strolled across the parking lot. He stopped at the door of an apartment and knocked, placing the paper back in his pocket.

It opened seconds later, and what she witnessed next came as a complete surprise.

"Hey Poke! How you doing man," Steve said as the large Hawaiian man looked at him confused, trying to place him and then all at once he recognized him, looking him up and down.

"Hey, you can walk?"

"Yea that's right, "Steve said to him, "I'm back on my feet again." With that said he tightened up his fist and cold cocked Poke in the face. His knees buckled and he fell down to them.

Steve leaned over him as he howled and covered his face, blood already gushing from his nose and oozing out between his fingers. "Next time you want to torment someone who can't fight back, you should be better prepared for when they can. If I ever see you again, you better run the other way." He stepped back and smiled, "You have a nice day now."

He got back in the truck and glanced over at Tyler as she stared at him with wide eyes.

"Ready?" he smiled triumphantly at her.

She closed her mouth and didn't even bother asking, knowing without a doubt that whoever that man was, he deserved what he got.

She took his hand that had a small cut on the knuckle from the blow, looking it over. "If you broke your hand," she scolded him, "I'm going to…" she huffed.

"You're going to what?"

She withdrew the lecture and leaned over close to his face. "Nurse you back to health."

"In that case," he said with a kiss, "I hope it's broken."

She scooted over close to him, putting her head on his shoulder as he put the truck in gear and drove them home.

The End

 ** _Thanks everyone for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Aloha!_**


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